Any thoughts (good or bad) about this book are appreciated!! I have it on hold at the library but wondering if I should just buy it for future reference as my girls (currently ages 2 and 6) grow up!!
I have not used the method, but I would not categorize it as positive discipline. It appears to use time outs and an implied threat once you count to three.
This approach to discipline has worked well for my son. We started it when he was about a year, he is now 3. He pushes a bit more now that he is older (I count to 2 and he stops).
I haven't read it. Hadn't even heard of it till just now. Did some investigation of the techniques used in it and I must say I definitely agree with one element of the philosophy.
My house isn't a democracy (especially when my kids were really young) it's a dictatorship. I'm the Mama ... I make the rules ... you follow them or suffer the consequences. Plain, simple, effective :)
My best advice for any parenting style ... BE THE PARENT. YOU are in charge. It's YOUR job to control your children until they learn self-control. Which happens gradually over time. They are NOT ... I repeat NOT ... small adults and shouldn't be treated as such.
At 2 you control your child pretty much completely, at 12 they have more self-control so you control them minimally ... and hopefully if they've continued on an upward path of learning self-control at 22 they are off living on their own, paying their own bills and are completely able to control themselves and your control has become zero.
Read the book ... use all, parts or none of it depending on your own philosophy and children's needs. No method is perfect or works for every child. Even ones in the same family.
Kaiser recommended this series to us when our son was first going through diagnosis of ADHD. It's really well done and I can see it working with normal kids. However, it didn't because our son had a medical condition making it next to impossible for him to control his behavior.
I would check it out at the library, see if you get some good initial results and then buy it for reference if you like it. There's also a DVD available covering the information.
Love it. It works well with my twins.
We have used it and it works well with our 2 year old when we use it consistently. I just checked it out from the library a few months ago and returned it when I finished and so far I haven't felt the need to go back to it for reference. Maybe as my son gets older I will want to look at it again for suggestions for older children, but so far we've been good.
You could probably get it used at Amazon for cheap. I like it a lot. It worked great for my oldest child, not so great for my second (might have been partly my lack of consistency- a lot was going on during her preschool years) it would be worth a few dollars
I've seen lots of parents use this DVD and book as a springboard for great parenting conversations. And if followed as in the book, it works. For me, it was a bit hard to get past the attitude in the book, but setting that aside, the method is one excellent tool.
The book worked for my son. I think I started it a little after he turned 2. We were having a difficult time with discipline and his pediatrician suggested it.
If the book recommends that you count to 3 in order to get your children to obey, I would say throw the book out! No thank you..Whatever your child might do by you counting to three should be accomplished just by your instructions to do so. I always think parents look ridiculous when they are counting for their children's obedience. I don't mean to offend, but it is jumping through hoops to get obedience. The only reason they obey at three is because that is when a parent will actually get up and do something for their disobedience. Just skip the counting and teach them to obey. Whatever would happen at three should happen before you get to one if they disobey.
You can get it for under $10 on amazon. And it is worth that. But if you can get it for free (to borrow) from the library, why not? You don't need to write in it. And you can always re-check it later if you need to refresh yourself. :)
I think it is a great book, and really helped me out (and helped my kids, too). I don't stick to it exactly these days and my kids are much older than yours (10 & 13), but when I feel like I am having a bad day and they are starting to bicker or whatnot... then I dredge it up and have an "AHA!" moment to myself, and count them. It works like a charm and everything is diffused. My kids were older when we found the book (7 & 10) and so we only needed to do it a few good weeks and never had to implement anything crazy--our kids didn't overreact drastically (like throwing a tantrum in their room after going in there and tearing it to pieces)... they caught on pretty quickly and it worked great for us. :)
It's one of my more preferred childhood discipline books out there, of the ones I have read. It's worked really well on my daughter (just turned 4) over the past 6 months. I rarely have to get to 3 anymore when I start counting before she decides to comply. I do agree with Angi C. below in general that parents need to feel empowered as parents to be in control and consistently follow through with discipline and this is one of those books that can help with that.
I read it and liked it, but my DD is only 10 months so haven't really implemented it yet. It does seem logical and like it would work. Anyhow the book is short so I would just get it from the library because you will not need to refer to it after you read it. Good luck!
I think it's good. It's one of many I've tried with my 9 yr old daughter over the years. She is very difficult to discipline. The other good program is Love and Logic. My kids school uses it, and I tried it after going to a presentation at the school. It uses natural consequences. Good luck!
I got it from the library but after reading a few chapters bought it. My daughters therapist recomended it and i love it. It really does work and helps you and your children know what to expect.
Its a wonderful book.
This is the only method that has worked with our son (now 3). I read the book and then got the DVD from the library for my husband (who couldn't be bothered to read the book!). I liked that we watched the DVD together because we were able to discuss specific behavioral aspect of my son as we went along. We were on the same page when we started. I highly recommend the DVD and method in general.
Best of luck to you
It is the only child-raising book I have purchased, I bought it because so many different people on this website referenced it when answering questions. It is excellent and gets results.
I went to a seminar on it and gave it a try. It didn't work for my child at all! I ended up tossing the book. As one poster said it was h*** o* their child due to ADHD...same here! My son has ADHD/early onset bipolar so the counting really just set him into rages. It's a good technique but not effective on all children like claimed.
