Please Help me...meeting in 6 Hours

Updated on March 26, 2012
P.R. asks from San Angelo, TX
17 answers

We are having our 2nd parent meeting in a week at a private school. The school seems in crisis, but we have been reassured a mediator is going to bring an end to the drama and things will go back to normal.

One meeting to address the firing of one employee and others quitting last week. There was screaming and crying.
Tonights meeting is to discuss the rehiring of the fired employees and some of the employees who quit in protest. Also for the people who run the school to apologize to everyone and explain why it will never happen again. They also fired someone last year at this time which is nuts. They also talked to the children about the firing which is inappropriate.

There was no illegal activity and the children were at no time in danger. It is nothing that should have escalated but the fired employee told everyone all about it as it was happening. Sides were taken.

My husband and I trust our childrens' teachers, but not any of these people. We are in a small city and the neighborhood school is awful. I wish we would not have bought this house but we are stuck and underwater.

My kids want to stay at the school. I don't trust these people. I want to find another school. My husband wants to stay because it is the best college prep. school. What do you think? We will stick it out till the end of the year. Someone plans on asking parents tonight if they will be back next year and we don't know. My kids are afraid they won't get to see their friends.

What can I do next?

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Is this garden variety drama? Hard to say from what you've written.
Can the KIDS stay out of the drama. Why all the meetings? Do the parents get to vote on action, etc?

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from New York on

Me personally, I would stay out of it. Too much drama. If it is a good school then leave things be.

Why does this BS have to concern everyone? Really?

I am too busy with an 11 month old, 4 yo, 5 yo, working from home part time, 2 dogs, a husband who is studying for the CPA exam and busy in tax season at work. I have no time for extra drama besides my day to day stuff!!!

2 moms found this helpful

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Interesting first question from a new user!

5 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Put the drama aside and figure out if the kids are getting a good education or not. That is why they are in school. Depending on what is said at the meeting today would determine what you should do. If they have a plan in place to address these issues and you feel confident that its under control, then I would keep the kids there. If they are old enough to keep you updated with whats going on, that is important. Its hard to answer without details but that is my opinion. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

R.H.

answers from Austin on

Your kids have no say in this. No education, college prep or otherwise is worth the stress.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Not knowing what happened and not knowing how close your kids are to college age, makes it impossible to provide a good response. But the bottom line is, if you don't trust the school, you shouldn't be paying to have your children there.

3 moms found this helpful
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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Of course your kids want to see their friends. But that should not be your motive or even factor into you keeping them in this school. I wonder how well they really are being taught when there is all this instability and the people in charge excude such unprofessional behavior. Based on that alone, I would not think this school is the best option for teaching and modeling acceptable behavior.
You are and need to be the parent and not worry about their friends. Worry about your kids future and what they're seeing and hearing at that school.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Stick it out until the end of the school year. See if they keep their promises during that time. If things seems happy and changed, great. If there's still drama, look for someplace else.

I don't care if 100% of their graduates go on to be Rhodes Scholars, if things are stressful and unhappy there, I wouldn't want my child attending.

2 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Not actually knowing what is going on - I say if the teachers are doing their jobs, your children are learning and doing what they need to do then I do not understand why you would not at least consider returning if not commit to returning. I would not pull out this close to the end of term - and with out more information I can not comment on next year's attendance.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from New York on

we don't have the background on what happened to cause the firing of teachers. you are asking what to do? it depends on how the situation was handled after the teachers left? who was a substitute? did kids miss on teachings? was everything put on hold etc.
my kids go to a small private school, which does have problems between the admin. and teachers. i have said it once during a meeting, we will stay here until we have the feeling the teachers are unhappy. unhappy teachers result in low quality teaching, which would no longer justify paying tuition for private school. maybe you say the same thing tonight.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

It sounds like an administrative problem that really shouldn't be impacting your kids. It's hard to say for sure since we don't know what happened. However, if you're uncomfortable with them being there, then I think you'll have to change.

What is so awful about your neighborhood school? Do you know, personally, that it's terrible because you've visited, looked at test scores, checked out the curriculum and teachers, etc.? Or have you just heard it's "terrible." We have that a lot around here, and some of the "terrible" schools really are horrendous! Some of them are not though -with kids who are excelling, good programs, few disciplinary issues, etc. Make sure you've really done your due diligence in checking out that neighborhood school before dismissing it.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Wow, is there ANY other school in your city that is acceptable? Maybe they could transfer out of your neighborhood school. You already drive them to a private school, you could drive them across town if needed.

This school sounds like they are out of control with poor management.
This has an affect on the atmosphere of the entire school.

Why is your neighborhood school so "awful"?

We have a school in our neighborhood that many parents consider "awful" and pull their kids out and then send them to private school.. And yet the "awful school" kids that always are going to do well.. really do well. They are not placed with low performing students or students that are trouble makers.

I was just commenting to a parent worried about this "awful school" about how many of our children ended up being national Merit Scholars, attending Ivy league schools, and top tier colleges, we even have one student in Switzerland as a Fulbright Scholar right now, that attended and graduated from that "awful school"..

What makes the main difference in these children was the involvement and attention of their parents. We made it clear to our children school was their job. It was the top priority..

You just have to follow your mommy heart and brain.
Look at your children and what THEY need, what you need. Are they still getting a good education with all of this drama going on? If not move them or demand changes.

Otherwise, go to the meeting and state that you want this school managed without drama from now on or you will pull your children and at this time, you all are still studying the situations and your options. ''Let them know it will be solely based on what it is your children need to succeed.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

And you get to pay for this drama? Ick. Let us know how it goes.

Of course, we don't know the particulars from your post, so it is hard to say what we would do. However, if your husband is mostly concerned with college prep, you should consider homeschooling. They have very high testing scores on average, higher than any other subsection of society. And, it doesn't matter what the education level of the parent is, according to the studies that have been done. Many colleges have recruiting depts or at least staff to recruit homeschoolers. This includes the Ivy League schools who want homeschoolers because they make them look good. It's worth a look, anyway.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

What is the most important thing? Your children's education. Are your children getting the education that is required of them to move toward independence at this school?

You also don't mention what ages your kids are. If they are in high school friends and extremely important to them but we don't make decisions solely on following the crowds lead.

As for this hooplah and meeting tonight, it is really an administrative issue. You go and you listen but reserve judgment and hold off on making a decision until you have more information.

Hearsay and hooplah are never good indicators of what kind of decision we need to make in the face of potention crisis.

2 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

If it was me, I'd just wait and see how this next meeting goes and how I feel after that. Keep an open mind at this point and see if they can convince you that things are going to be ok.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

If the school is dysfunctional, why does your husband think this school is so great? Sounds like their reputation is in the toilet, and if the teachers are preoccupied with office politics, who can expect them to be teaching the children? Keep in mind, where there is smoke, there is fire. You will never know EVERYTHING that is going on behind the scenes. Sounds like scandal and a school closing is a real possibility.

Many ions ago, I attended a college prep girls school that had similar activity. The school was finally shut down when parents left in droves and it financially broke the school. It too was supposedly top notch where academics were concerned, but the school's very public scandal in the end clouded it's stellar academic reputation. The school has been closed for almost 30 years, and people still bring up the scandal...not the fact that many graduates had gone on to prestigious colleges and prestigious careers.

If there truly are no other options in town, and you can't afford to drive your kids to a truly good private school in a neighboring city or town, I'd seriously look into homeschooling. This is the time of year for homeschool conventions and curriculum fairs. Go to www.hslda.org on how to begin the process for homeschooling.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Our kids went to a private middle/high school. One, especially, was very upset when we transferred her there. In my husband's view & mine, schooling is a decision made by the parents, not the kids.

The way we phrase it to our kids is that there are times when they get to make the choice, times when they get a vote, times when they can be part of the discussion but we get the vote and then times when only parents vote. School was one of those things where they got to be part of the discussion, but their dad & I made the decision.

1 mom found this helpful
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