Parental Involvement in School?

No one lives in a bubble so the blame for the decline of education just cannot be attributed to one thing. I totally agree with you that parental involvement is crucial in the development of young minds. My children's teachers know me...the Principal knows me. I make an attempt to keep up with the "goings-on" at my children's schools. I am college educated with a Master's degree and place a very high priority on school.

I am also a bit of an older Mother compared to other Moms in my children's schools. I was in my early 30's when my first child was born...I was not 15 with no job or way to support that child. English is not my second language. I was married and had a stable career and felt ready to be a Mother.

However, the stark reality is that not everyone has the same advantages and abilities. There is a high level of hispanic students at my son's school with parents that are barely conversant in English. Yes, I absolutely do believe that these parents should be making an effort to learn English, but that it just not happening apparently. I don't know how these parents would be able to help their kids with homework at all.

I think that schools do the best that they can, but who knows what goes on in someone else's home? Perhaps the parents are working 2 jobs just to be able to put food on the table. This is sad and there just isn't an easy solution here.

Hi J.! I don't have any answers for you, but wanted to answer Lillym's questions about homeschoolers.
Homeschoolers are required, in most states, to use the same standardized tests that public schools use. Also, I know quite a few people who homeschool their children with special needs with help from the public school and private tutoring that is tailored to their child's needs.
It frustrates me when people seem to think that homeschoolers just sit at home and hope for the best. We really do have high standards for academics!

Some would like to tie public assistance benefits into school attendance and grades.
Parents might care more if it made a difference in the benefits they receive.
It won't matter to parents who don't care who are NOT on some sort of assistance.

My mom had zero interest in school or education, as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure she was happy when we started school because it got us out of her hair for the day, and my dad was out of the picture by the time I was two.
I loved school.
It was my happy place. I enjoyed learning and for the most part had teachers that cared. Even when I had mean teachers I was still happy to be there, it was better than home.
I grew up, graduated from high school with a 3.4 GPA and worked my way through college, eventually earning a BA degree from a California State University.
It had nothing to do with my parents.
Who helped me, supported me, along the way? My dear aunt, for one (who took me into her home as a teenager) but also several teachers, school counselors, and even the school nurse. My art and drama classes were like therapy for me, they helped me cope and deal with the chaos of my life, and gave me a healthy and positive emotional outlet.
This is one of the reasons I'm such a proponent for the continued funding of education, especially meals and support services like literacy specialists and guidance counselors. If I hadn't had the people and the services available to me that are being cut as we speak (including the free lunch which I desperately needed) I absolutely could have been one of those kids who fell through the cracks.
I agree with you that it's ultimately up to the parents to take responsibility for their children's education, and my mom had NO business having four kids she couldn't support, but it wasn't our fault we were born, we didn't ask for it.
Sadly our schools are full of children just like me.
The good news is that 3 out of 4 of us (my siblings) are now successful, taxpaying members of society. Not a bad return as far as I can see!
Of course, in a perfect world every child would be wanted and loved, and every parent would make education a top priority, but that just isn't reality. Schools SHOULD be able to offer a little extra support for the most vulnerable, at risk kids, because when it all falls on the shoulders of the teacher (which is happening more and more) then the whole class suffers.
ETA: sure a mentoring program could be a good thing. But a six year old struggling with learning how to read doesn't need a mentor he just needs an extra 20 minutes of reading practice a day. If his own mom can't or won't do it I highly doubt she's going to seek out a mentor for him. So again, it falls on the teacher (?) That's my point, if the services are AT school, where children are legally required to be, then that's how these services are most effectively and efficiently delivered. We've got a fair amount of control over struggling kids while they at school, I think we should maximize it as much as possible!

Hey J.. I understand what you are saying. I haven't read the other posts, but in a nutshell, I'll tell you my thoughts, without going point by point on your thread (mostly because I'm sleepy right now...smiles!)

I believe that parents who prepare their kids for school by reading to them, teaching them the things that they are supposed to be able to do by kindergarten (called school readiness) and exposing them to the world in general, are the kids who are most likely to be successful in elementary school. For at risk families, parents who barely have a high school education, have low paying jobs, work long hours and live in poor neighborhoods, there are Head Start programs that will HOPEFULLY not lose their funding. I've seen some cheap low quality daycare centers that have the TV on all day and certainly don't prepare kids for school at ALL - Head Start is really wonderful compared to that. And pulling these kids up so that their presence in kinder and the early elementary grades doesn't drag the entire class down is really important. One big complaint from parents who painstakingly work with their children is that their kids are "left behind" because the teacher is trying so hard to handle the kids who were not prepared for life in school.

That said, I do believe that a poor middle school can wreck a promising child. I'm not saying that your children wouldn't have been successful, but I do believe that putting children in the "wrong" school can create failures. I will put a caveat on that and say that the definition of "wrong" is what is key here. A school where the teachers don't care, where kids are not disciplined, where there is fighting and fear and a kid just better keep their head down so that they aren't targeted. There are plenty of schools like that. And not every parent can get their kids out of it.

It is nice to think that every parent can push through this kind of thing and do right by their kids. But there are some weak and poorly educated parents out there. They might love their kids, but have no clue how to handle school.

And then there are mothers who don't want to go to school or see the teachers and resent the hell out of being expected to go. I understand the first example I gave up above in the first paragraph. Most of that is ignorance and really poor parenting skills caused by ignorance and bad examples from their own childhood. What I don't understand and WON'T excuse is the attitudes of people who should know better. We had an example of that the other day on this site, and 99% of the moms took that poster to task for her attitude. It wasn't until she had been fussed at by most of the posters that she pulled out the physically injured card - her injury had NOTHING to do with her not wanting to meet the teacher. Her daughter had CRIED about it previously and it did not even MOVE her. I don't even know if this mother has a job or not - it doesn't matter with her. She stands by her right to not go and her daughter will be lucky to give a damn about school by the time she is in high school, with a mother who cares so little about her daughter's education.

That said, there are many kids who beat the statistics and make something of themselves, even with these kinds of parents. They are the strivers who have it inside themselves to succeed. Sometimes they are more driven than our kids whose lives we have molded to the best of our abilities, knowing the value of an education and how much it takes to be successful. Those are the kids that deserve a real hats off applause, in my book.

I also feel that having one really great teacher can buoy a child, and having a terrible teacher can ruin a child who is on the line, so to speak. There are teachers out there who care and will give of themselves (like that teacher who is meeting the parents on her own time since she can't have private conversations with every parent at Back to School night.) God bless those teachers!

Dawn

Amyj156, I just felt like I had to respond about your antihomeschooling post and say that I am a certified teacher with a masters degree in education and I homeschool my 4 kids. I belong to a rather large group of other homeschooling parents - none of whom are certified teachers - and they do just as good of a job, if not better than I do at teaching their kids. They have no training, but they know their kids and let's face it - teaching is not rocket science. Fancy methods can easily be picked up online and what makes a teacher great has nothing to do with training or degrees. It has to do with how much that teacher loves the kids she/he is teaching and how much she/he cares to motivate them. If a parent decided to homeschool, that makes them just about the most qualified person in the world to teach that child because they love them more than anything and they are extremely motivated to help them learn and you can bet they are not going to give up on that child. I will concur there may be a few lazy people out there who may not care and are homeschooling for the wrong reasons and will just "stick their kids in front of a workbook." But studies have proven this is NOT the majority of homeschoolers, as they do SIGNIFICANTLY better on academic and social measures than ANY group measured. (I'm sure we've all heard by now homeschoolers do better academically, but there have also recently been social studies that have come out that prove as adults, homeschoolers end up developed better socially than public schooled kids in that they are more involved in their communities, do better in their careers, and are more involved politically.) I think there has this myth for years that unless you a certified teacher you have no idea how to teach. Sorry to say but left and right EVERY day homeschooling parents are disproving this myth and proving that training and certification has nothing to do with being a great teacher. :)

J., I agree with a lot of what you wrote. I live in a community that is known for having excellent public schools. When choosing where were were going to raise our family, we decided between a town with great schools and inflated real estate costs or a town where we could buy more house for our money and then send our kids to private schools. We chose the former.

Once I was in my town and went to a town meeting I was surprised at the financial situation here. Our tax base is lower than similar towns in the area that are in our peer group in terms of school quality. Our per-pupil spending is substantially lower. These are not good things - our accreditation report from 10 years ago called our school quality "a miracle" based on what the tax payers were willing to spend (or not) on schools here. An override several years ago helped remedy some of this, but it was the first override passed in 18 years.

Parents here don't just sit around and say "oh well" and let things go to hell. A group of parents put together a foundation to raise money for technology spending to put technology in the classroom that the school budget didn't cover. In just over 20 years, they have provided $1.1 M (yes, that's Million) in technology grants to the schools for things like interactive white boards, printers, mobile computer labs, word processors, projectors, etc. When our football field and "stadium" were in such poor shape we couldn't host home games or track meets, the schools asked for a $1M bond that was voted down. So parents fund raised $300K over 2 years, parents worked with our state and federal reps to secure $300K in grant money, and then the schools were able to go back and ask the town to borrow the rest of the money. We now have a beautiful turf field, ADA compliant seating, and lights so that we can now have home games and that field, because it's turf, is used all day and evening, all year round.

Our PTAs raise and spend more than $100K each year ($10K in Box Tops alone) to fund enrichment programs, teacher appreciation events, offset the costs of field trips, and host events for students and families to build a sense of community. Parents organize recess activities at the younger elementary schools, help out in the classroom, and put in time in the evenings and weekends to bake desserts for school functions, help prepare craft materials for school projects, etc. A small group of parents built 4 raised garden beds, planted a vegetable garden, and grew 4 great pumpkins (two which took 1st & 2nd in a contest today) to create an outdoor classroom for $600. The prize today was $900, so the program paid for itself. A small group of families put in hundreds of hours of work tending to the garden all summer for the kids to enjoy in the fall.

I see the fruits of parental commitment to education here every day. Back to school night is overflowing. Parent-teacher conferences take forever because everyone shows up. Things like 1st grade reading enrichment night, 2nd grade math night, before-school writers' breakfasts, science fairs, history project days etc. are well attended by at-home and working parents, moms and dads alike.

I think part of the difference is that those of us who live in communities like this are a privileged group. Not necessarily wealthy, but probably educated and employed. And resourceful. The people here who build sustainable charitable foundations and host successful fundraising events year after year probably have some sort of business background. You can't raise $100K in PTA money each year in a community where people don't have disposable income. You can't have people volunteer in the classroom if they make $8 an hour and Wal-Mart and will lose a shift if they ask for time off. Success begets success. High standards beget high standards.

That said, prioritizing education is a choice. My mother grew up dirt poor with uneducated alcoholics for parents. She went to public schools in a city. She decided that when she raised a family, education would be a priority. So she became a nurse, married a good man, and moved out the the burbs and put us all in Catholic school. I had an excellent education and hope to pass that on to my kids, as my siblings all did and do. It only takes one person to decide that the poverty and ignorance stop with him or her and that person can make the kinds of good decisions that my mother did and do better for their own children.

I know that a lot of people decry standardized testing, but in my state, you can't get a HS diploma without passing a test. The first chance to pass the test is in 10th grade and if you fail, you have many more chances to be tutored and mentored and take it again until you pass. In my state, it's no longer legal to just say "oh well, there's a certain % of kids who won't be educated there's nothing we can do about it" and that's a good thing and has been quite a culture change. Those kids are no longer allowed to just slip through the cracks so hopefully, the testing requirement catches a few more of those kids and shows them that they *can* pass a test, they *can* achieve something and maybe they'll do better with their own children than their parents did with them.

My parents stressed the importance of an education. I have stressed to my children the importance of an education.

I am involved in my children's schools. I volunteer at both. I know my children's friends and their parents. I check my kids homework. I communicate with their teachers and the administrative staff.

Children succeed in school because of the influence they get from a combination of places/people:
1. parents
2. other students
3. teachers

In college, i had a course I absolutely detested going to (chemistry) but I LOVED the professor - he made it fun. He made it GREAT....I squeaked by with a "C" but that teacher kept me coming back for more.

My eldest son has a love for history. He got that from us as well as a teacher he had in the 3rd grade.

It is my opinion that there are many influences for children and their success or failure. The most important are parental influence and how the parents stress the importance of an education.

I think in most children , it is the parents that fail their kids. We have parent teacher conferences very early in the school year & then , again later. I think they do a great thing, at this first meeting . We are given a list of things that we can do to support our kids academically. There are simple things , all the way to more time consuming items. They ask you to check the things that are doable , for your family and sign, that you will follow through with those things. There is also a list for your child and they sign ,also. This seems to be a great tool. It has given me great ideas ( coming from a house, where I didn't feel supported academically & suffered ) & I've pledged to follow through.

both. obviously parental involvement is crucial, but the public school model is woefully inadequate for a new world, and is failing our kids dismally. and that IS the schools' fault.
public education needs to be revamped from the ground up.
this country will not be at the vanguard, though. our public schools are held in stasis by the NEA and a primal terror on the part of the american people to do new things.
sir ken robinson, FTW.
ETA, amy you clearly don't understanding homeschooling or unschooling if you think it's worksheets, drills and more of what kids were doing in school. if you have questions i'd be happy to answer them.
khairete
S.

J. - great question.

To answer your observations about your daughter, this is definitely tough as a teacher. There is nothing more that adults and children alike in our society value as much as their own entertainment. Think about it. We are a hyper-consumer society that insists that we have everything exactly how we want it. When that isn't possible via one route, we drop it and "shop around" for one that suits us better. How are schools and teachers to compete with the 30sec attention span fostered by a warp-speed lifestyle and "at our fingertips" technology / info access. Who wants to spend their time learning about things they aren't interested in? This is where teachers can use differentiated instruction, engaging strategies, and a visible posting / explanation of the "essential understandings" that students should acquire through study of that topic. In helping them to see how the content is related to bigger things in their world, the instruction starts to become engaging.

Parden the tangent, but the homeschooling issue - and even the charter school issue - rubs me wrong. Parents are so quick to blame the very system that they themselves have created through insufficient support of teachers and their disciplinary measures (everything from nasty emails to trips to our boss to neighborhood gossip / rallying), to lack of attention to their child's academics, diet and sleep habits, to the demand of accountability via a testing system (that is then blamed for monopolizing "education" and the fact that kids don't have problem solving skills) to the support of politicians who reduce the much-needed resources of public schools to help every student succeed. What do people expect, exactly? Ahh, yes....the fully customizable educational experience. Here's where I feel defensive.

Many charter schools only had 28% of their students meet what is considered "adequate yearly progress" last year. This is way below failing for a public school, and yet, bc they are not subject to the same (or ANY) accountability measures, they remain in business - complete with cheaper, uncertified teachers - because that's what they are.

Re: homeschooling: What makes a parent think that just because they know their child, they're automatically a better teacher than those who have a degree, countless observation/ student teaching hours, on the job training with every type of learning style, etc? I know my child better than anyone, but even I don't assume that I am the answer to all of his needs.

When I see what some families consider homeschool (worksheets, drills, an online curriculum) I can't help but ponder that if that's what their kids were doing in school, there's no way they'd tolerate such unimaginative instructional techniques from a teacher. How is this unique instruction for your child who doesn't learn like everyone else? Interesting. The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way (and don't even get me started on the "unschooling" movement...)

Ok, sorry for the rant!

In answer to your OQ: As a teacher, I consider an involved parent to be one who is accessible, supportive of the school, its teachers and its policies regarding grading and discipline; one who is aware of his/her child's academic strengths / weaknesses and provides an environment in which the child is getting adequate nutrition, rest and behavior / manners instruction. Is that too much to ask for?! haha!

In your "I just want to add...," you described a situation that illustrates exactly why I am very against the No Child Left Behind mentality. There is only so much a teacher can do -- schools have to be a partnership between teacher, parent, and student, and when only the teacher is pulling, failure is inevitable. Yet the teacher's salary and future and the school's resources are dependent upon standardized test scores. It's an situation in which the teacher will not prevail without the whole team in place.

It's funny, I didn't post to that thread because I was afraid of offending the original poster. I typed a whole response and deleted it because it was "mean." Essentially it was "get off your butt and stop expecting people to do your research for you."

Parental involvement in school is a huge factor in whether a child succeeds or not. Some kids can rise above, but it's so hard to do that when they don't get the support at home. Support can be as basic as having school supplies available or as complex as helping with homework or sitting in on a boring School Board meeting in the evening when you'd rather be on the couch relaxing.

We talk a lot about student and teacher responsibility. But what about the parent's responsibility? Shouldn't they be involved in what's going on? Not only with their own child, but within the school and school district? How hard is it to shoot the teacher an email? How hard is it to request meeting minutes of the last board meeting if they aren't posted on the district's website? How hard is it to join the PTO or Home & School Org? Sure, you might not be able to attend meetings, but you should join to know what's going on with the school. Maybe you can't physically be present at an event, but your marketing or other skills are just as valuable! The meeting minutes should be a matter of public record and open for parents to see as well.

I work 2 part-time jobs. One just happens to be at my youngest daughter's school, but the other is in the evening. I also am an officer on the high school HSO board and at the Executive Council level. I coordinate volunteers for the elementary school library and I am on a junior high walk-a-thon committee. I also volunteer one night a week at my daughters' dance school.

I'm busy and sometimes I don't know what corner to jump in because my schedule is full, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My kids know that I make their school and schooling a priority and they do too.

Interesting thoughts.

Our school district is considered in the bottom. There lots of diversity and some schools have over a 50% minority. Many schools have over 50% receiving free or reduced lunches.

The bottom line is most of the parents just don't care. They don't show up for any events (parents night, teacher conferences, concerts, etc). Most of these children are not doing well in school. The children of uninvolved parents often have behavioral issues and score in the bottom on standardized testing.

Throughtout elementary, middle, and now high school I see the same parents who are involved. 90% of these students are on the honor roll, graduating in the top 10% of their classes and winning all types of awards.

I'll never forget what my daughter's first grade teacher said to me when my daughter was struggling with learning to read and I wanted her to be a part of the students receiving additional help and not getting much cooperation "But read to your child and you help her, if 1/2 of the parents did 1/2 of what you did with your daughter, we wouldn't need any additional programs to help the students".

I will only address a small part of your statement. There is a degree in education because you are right. Your kid CANNOT just teach other kids. Because your kid KNOWS NOTHING about how to teach. I think while TFA has some admirable goals, they do a HUGE disservice to both the kids they accept as 'teachers' and the students they seek to educate. My niece did TFA in DC last year. She was the sole teacher for a special ed class in a highly disadvantaged area. I believe she had less than two weeks training. And you know what - she failed. She hated it, she did not sign up for her second year, and yet she will still head off to a prestigious law school.

And the kids she 'helped'. Well, I suspect they might have stood a chance with an actual teacher with teaching experience and a Masters in Education. Because your child has some books and a computer and kids. That is like saying she has some books and a college education and an operating suite - let's just send her in. And it's not her fault - those patients just don't WANT to get better.

ETA: I couldn't just address the one point. There is recent evidence that shows that having a SINGLE great teacher significantly increases a child's LIFETIME earnings. That one good teacher can change the trajectory of a child's life. I suspect THAT is why many people become teachers.

ETA (again). No, I don't know your daughter. I know my niece. I assume your daughter is similar in that she is likely an extremely bright, idealistic young person. TFA is extremely competitive. Many of these kids want to help for two years and then go on to law school or into the corporate sector. MOST are not planning on a career in education. Being a bright and idealistic young person DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TEACHER. I implied nothing else about anyone involved in Teach For America. I am sorry if you took my post another way than it was intended.

Last Thursday night there was a presentation for the parents/families of 9th grade students at my son's school. These freshmen students, are funneled into the 9th Grade Center from the entire county, finally all in one place, on one campus, no other grades for this one year. (2 middle schools feed into the county high school).

There are approximately 800 students who entered the 9th grade academy this year. When we entered the 9th Grade Lecture Hall it was state of the art (like a high end college lecture hall with comfortable cushioned seating amphitheater styled with full length counter top surfaces as desk space). The Hall was designed with seating for approximately 50-60 people. Husband and I commented our disbelief that they were holding it in such a small hall, and how glad that we were early to get a seat. We had both our kids with us (the 9th grader, and a 6th grader we didn't want to leave at home alone), so 4 of us. When the presentation began (about the "block system" and "career academies" and high school requirements and information about scholarships and what colleges are interested in when looking at incoming freshman students, etc) there were still empty seats. There were STILL empty SEATS. Nobody was standing crowded in the back. Nobody barely got in. Nobody came in a minute late and missed the opening remarks. THERE WERE EMPTY SEATS. Out of 800 students.... over 90% did not have even ONE parent show up.

Granted, some may have heard it before with older siblings... but over 90% ?!

I believe that it isn't one thing (JUST the school, or JUST the parents, or JUST the student)... but I do think that the BIGGEST factor is the parents. They set the tone. Period. I have 2 kids. One is a B-C student who likes to cruise through without putting in his biggest effort at much of anything and is a little disorganized, but the nicest most respectful kid you'll probably ever meet. ALL his teachers comment about what a "nice young man" he is. And they have since elementary. He has to be pushed, prodded, and sometimes threatened with loss of privileges to get him to do what is required at school. But make no mistake---he knows it is expected and there will be consequences if he just doesn't do. Mom and Dad ARE watching, and he knows it.
The other child of ours, always does A+ work and never needs pushing or prodding to do any of it. She doesn't forget or leave things at home, always does her homework right away, makes 100's regularly, etc etc etc. She too, has grown up hearing how important school is, her entire life.
Her personality is such that we won't likely have to ever threaten her or punish her for laziness when it comes to school. She has her own high expectations for herself.

No matter where they go to school, they will be expected to do well. But if they had different parents at home, the BEST schools would not be able to compensate for our son who will allow himself to be lazy, and no school could keep our daughter from excelling.

I just wanted to address your assumption that because spaces are limited and there is a lottery to get in that -parents who choose to send thier children to charterschools care and support their children's education.
In my area, it definately seems as though the parents think they are getting away from " THE Man" that is goign to keep them down, and tell them what to do with thier kids. they dump their kids in charterschools make them ride the bus for an hour and a half, and never show up for conferences, never help with homework, never communicate in any way with the teachers. Its sad.

I have big concerns with homeschoolers too, what standards are these children held too?, what services are provided if they have learning disabliblites?

To me parental invovlement means acknowledging that the school system is caring for your child for 8 hrs a day. It's comging to conferences, it is communicating with the teacher, it is checking up on homework, assigments etc.

I dont think it's a simple answer.
Many a brilliant thinker has come from horrible schools and uninvolved parents.
Then there's the crowd that draws the line of parental involvement at nirhing less than building their kids science project. Too involved.
I went to a very affluent district in PA. I was motivated. According to my mom, I completed my work with little more from her than a "do you have homework/is it done?" She was a FT working single mom of 3.
I totally believe that a motivated student with concerned/involved parents can come out of a poof school system a success.
I don't think all students/parents/schools fit what you're saying.
Sometimes an inspiring teacher IS all it takes to turn a child into a seeker, an academic. And so ermines an uninspiring parent can take the zest for learning right out if a child.
It's triangular--parent-child-school. But not all 3 sides are a MUST for success.

I think any kid can succeed in any school if they have parental support.

Yes, schools teach our kids less nowadays, and yes, parents, whether they want to or not, need to fill in the void. If parents would raise their kids with strict rules & consequences & pare down on the electronics it would be a start. Generation entitlement can't be fun to teach.

I agree with you, OP. Why have kids if you have nothing to offer them and don't want to help them be their best? I never understood it.

I am sick of parents complaining about the school/teachers asking them to help. It's your kid, you should help.

I think society is leaving to much "parenting" to the schools. In my day, (lol I love saying that) school taught. English, math, science, etc. They did not parent. Students were expected to follow the school rules when in the school but teachers and administrators were not expected to raise the children.

Many parents, maybe it is the new societal norm, expect schools to do everything for their children, from teaching, disciplining, feeding, and raising their children. Then the parents get mad when little Johnny and Jill flunk out, get pregnant, do drugs, or whatever. It is not their fault.

The thing is, schools cannot raise children. Children are in school for only a portion of the day. The rest of the days, weekends, holidays, summer, parents have to parent. Parents have to teach their children a moral compass, instill in them values and goals, and aspirations. Many parents are not doing that.

I see it in my job now, I saw it when I worked in youth development. Parent's who have just abdicated their responsibility and expect everyone else to take responsibility for their children and their actions.

Children model what they see. If they see that their parents are under educated, unmotivated, whatever, they will, most likely, emulate that model. Oh, there are exceptions to everything. I have seen them. But, honestly, they are few and far between.

My son has been raised to understand that school is his responsibility. I am there to help him, tutor him, support him, but his job is school and that means through college. That is the expectation in my household. It is one that we have discussed since he was in 3rd grade.

I do believe that a parent's involvement in school can increase a child's success. Simply by opening and maintaining a dialogue between the parent and the teachers. Attending open house and school events throughout the year show the children that the parent is interested and active in what the child does all day. A child who knows that his parent will call the teacher, and vice versa, is a child who understands that school is serious "business".

The rise of charter schools and the like is, I think, because of like minded parents who want their children educated in an environment wherein the parents are involved. Where the school can concentrate of education, not child rearing to the exclusion of education.

The really scary part of all this is that in 10, 15, 20 years these children will be adults.

This is a new generation of kids. They have so much media and technology at their fingertips. I see that where I live.

I think parenting classes should be mandatory for all !

I wish your daghter luck this year!

Can I just tell you.... I LOVE YOU!!! I don't know how many times I've had this argument with a friend of mine and he just DOES NOT GET IT. While I think schools can have SOME influence, I think the greatest part of it comes from parental involvement (or the lack thereof). He makes excuse after excuse as to why a parent might not be ABLE to be involved (he is not a parent), and of course my answer is a parent will find SOME WAY of being involved (if they truly care), even if it has to be in the form of a care taker for after school. I taught 8th grade math. Most of those kids were either so entitled that they felt they automatically deserved a good grade or didn't care to the point of MISERABLE failure. Needless to say, I have not missed my time there.

Intelligent, passionate, involved parents are awesome. But not all kids have them.

The entire reason public school was advocated for so fiercely with a passion by presidents like Abraham Lincoln, was to PROVIDE an education for ALL children including for the poorest and for families who could not do it themselves.

In a developed nation, all schools should teach an acceptable standard of knowledge. Our schools were the best in the world in the 50's, pretty darn good in the 70's and now near the bottom of the developed world because of dumbed down curriculums and unfair dispersment of resources to certain schools and the gutting of others. Not all charter schools are good, and not all areas have them.

I had a great public education, so did my parents, so did their parents. But suddenly everyone is claiming that parents need to teach their own kids, overhaul their own schools, homeschool and/or pay for private schools or too bad.

It's an elitist view. I homeschool my kids, but I know not everyone can. Nor can everyone afford private school. Nor can everyone work in their kids schools on top of their own professions. Only SOME people can. But all kids are important and deserve the opportunity to be educated. We can't punish kids for having apathetic, mentally ill, dumb, overextended or whatever else parents if we want to be a NATION of educated PEOPLE. The every man for himself attitude these days is truly sad.

Yes, crappy parents could fail their kids even with good schools. Doesn't mean the schools shouldn't be good.

****No matter how awful some parents are, and how criminal their kids become, it's not justification to let the schools go to pot. Some kids DO rise above their parents' base level with the opportunity to learn from good teachers in a good environment.

@ Lesley-AGREED, schools shouldn't have to parent. When I was in school, our parents didn't need to teach our academics, but hell yes they would discipline us if we acted up in school-and so would the school!! But that's a whole different problem nowadays...

There are a lot of factors, but absolutely kids need support at home. They need parents to help them learn material, be involved in the schools, talk to teachers where necessary, CARE about education - now and into the future. There were kids in SS's school who only cared enough to get a 2.0 so they could play sports. Their parents focused on the sports vs grades. One kid had his future pinned on football, but he couldn't pass English to stay in the games. Great kid - but he was blowing it and his parents were letting him.

Not that it doesn't also help that some schools can get it together better than others. SS's first HS was not what he expected and he was unable to do work because the CAD programs were on broken computers. It was really frustrating and something we could not fix. For many reasons, he changed HS his junior year (we have a choice program and a large district).

Now, I have also seen caring parents with failing kids so for every generalization there is an exception. But I do feel that overall parental involvement can have a huge impact on the kid. I was a poor kid being raised by a single mother and my mother never let us get away with thinking education wasn't important.

Re: homeschooling - there's the right way and the wrong way. The homeschoolers I know are very dedicated and work hard to get the kids what they need - be it something they teach or something another parent in their co-op teaches or something offered through the district. They are anything but lazy about educating their kids.

You and your daughter might want to listen to this radio show on some of the problems schools face and on the students who tend to fail:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/47...

Act one and act two...I thought it was very informative. It talks about why some students care and why some do not...and the people who are working on this problem in Chicago. It's a great piece.

I agree with you to a large extent, as does my mom. Teachers and schools cannot do everything, and a lot of society has handed over the reigns to the schools to do it all without any support from parents. Teachers can't teach students who are not in class, and many parents take their kids out of class easily or do not punish kids for skipping school. Teachers can't effectively teach when homework is not done, and my parents do not require homework to be done or do not make themselves available to reveiw or help with homework. Teachers cannot effectively teach if children are not taught to be respectful and to behave in classrooms where they constantly disrupt students. Teachers cannot effectively teach students who think education doesn't matter, and a lot of parents do not place much value on education. At the same time, teachers also cannot effectively teach their classes when they are teaching solely to standardized tests which is becoming the norm today. They also cannot effectively teach in ridiculously overcrowded classrooms. My teacher friends in Chicago have class sizes in excess of 40 kids and in the suburbs elementary classes of more than 35 kids by year end. That's too large for one teacher to effectively teach all students. Personally, I think that every child who graduates high school OUGHT to be prepared with a skill/trade to earn a living or should have successfully completed a college preparatory program. No child should graduate high school without having some means to earn a living and some direction in where to go next in life.

My mom was also a teacher. She received her college degree going to night school when my brother and I were toddlers and received her Masters in education when I was a first grader. At the time she received her Masters, she was a first year high school teacher, parent of two elementary children, corporate wife and dean's list graduate student. After she received her Masters, my dad finished his degree via night school. What I learned from my parents was the value of education and the work involved in getting it. I also was never allowed any slack for not putting forth my best effort and was reminded that my parents knew how hard it was to get an education and that I should be grateful for my opportunities. My parents were not overly involved in my schools. However, my parents did check my work, did check my grades, and did have high expecations of me. They also supported the school, paid attention to the school board going-ons and supported our extra curriculars. To me, there's no doubt that parents NOT doing these types of things has negatively impacted the educational system.

It takes a village to raise a child.
How many of us can say that it took 5 minutes of someone else's time to teach our child something we had been struggling to get through to them about forever! How many of our children have come home from school and taught us something we didnt' know?
Parental involvement is very important, but so are teachers and school experiences.

PARENTS PARENTS PARENTS! I am the first to teach my children the way of this world, ethics, morals and the importance of education. The mind set you have will determine where you will go. It take a special kid to have the desire within to succeed by any means necessary with little support.

Our childrens school has switched from public to charter and the same issues are still present because the same students and parents are still the same. Parents (some not all) who think that the school is a babysitter and are not concerned about the process or progress. I have more to say but I am at work, working so give me a minute.

Now we have good teachers who are overwelmed by the foolishness and they are tired already and it has only been a month in.

I believe children are in need of mentorship when they do not get it at home, they need to know who they are and who they can be and if the parents are not equiped, able or just to lazy to impart that into the child than yes the community will and it will be in a negative or positve.

So many of our children are being raised by the radio, television ect ... that just do not understand that education is the key.

Now J. you stated "I graduated in 86, my freshmen class was the first desegregated." Imagine the lives the children live before that happened!?
Imagine the mind set of children who did not have the acess to the things that you had! you have got to know that the mind set of living as a person who is told that because you look as you do or because you were born the way you were things in YOUR life will be different and limited will create a low mind set. The fact that they were giving the opportunity than does not change the mind set that they were raised with.

It's not any one thing that creates the problem. The reality today is that some schools and some districts are struggling to just provide the basics. Education in this country is not equal. Kids are not getting the same education. They may all be being taught ABC's and 123's but the hows and whys are not the same.

Education is everything in my house. I am a high school drop out (life, not by choice) and so is my husband. I homeschool, my lack of diploma does not mean I am uneducated, and it doesn't mean I don't push for more for where my children are concerned.

Parent involvement is very important. Teacher involvement is important. Schools having what they need, when they need it, is very important. Any one of those things not in place properly and it creates a domino effect. A parent can only do so much, a teacher can only do so much and the schools, well they are hanging on by a thread in many districts.

If you can't afford more then a public education, you are stuck. It get's to the point that you can only bang your head so much before you become disheartened with the whole process. Imagine that feeling in a child.

I think it's mostly parents to a certain extent. In cultures where education is highly valued, kids tend to do better in school. However, if a school/teacher is not very good, a kid can suffer. This is one of the reasons homeschooling is so popular. I've seen more kids than I can count who were struggling in school, (either because they had learning challenges or they were gifted and bored), the parents were very involved trying to work with the teacher but there simply wasn't enough hours in the day or sometimes the teacher simply wasn't willing to try - and the parent pulled them out to homeschool and the child soared. There are definitely good teachers out there. There are also a lot of mediocre ones and even some bad ones. As for the kids not willing to try, that is something that teachers can't control 100%. Even parents who emphasize a good education can run up against teens who value their peers influence more and school is considered "boring". A good teacher will do everything in his/her power to get to know those kids on a personal level so they can figure out what they DO care about and design the lessons in such a way to get them excited and motivated. But even at this, it is not 100% effective. Like it or not, kids have their own free agency and sometimes it is simply up to them. We need to hold them responsible for their own choices and actions and sometimes it is THE KID'S own fault and not the teacher or the parents.

Lets face it, education is not the same as it was when we all went to school. There have been so many programs cut, that at one point were deemed vitally important to the balance and recreational aspects of our children. Music and Arts, Gym, and per a recent post, cursive writing ....all things that supposedly are not valuable any longer. So, in light of the education system not being the same, children now have more time on their hands to either make good decisions or bad ones. In come the parents. That is where we have to pick up the slack and pay attention to what our children are missing and how we can make our childs better. Yes, there are parents that do that very well and there are parents that don't or can't. The values instilled in a double parent home may be the same as the single parent home, yet the supervision may not be and this leads to the good or bad decision on the childs part. It helps when there is support all around and that you are involved in your childs life. That's why the saying is "it takes a village". Unfortunately, nowadays there isn't much of a village to help raise kids due to a variety of things....the economy, no sense of community, anti socialism of today's generation due to technology, linited access to many programs, supervised homes, non supervised homes. Schools provide what they believe is an education, and unfortunately nowadays, most schools just provide that. Parents provide the rest. Regardless, kids have their own personalities and thoughts and will ultimately choose their path. Some are more clearer than others based on the parental involvement.

We make sure our children understand how important school is. My husband never even finished high school, but as a young adult he got his GED and took computer classes, he has always pushed himself to be more than what was expected of him. In the job he has, most of his coworkers have BA's or Masters and he is just as good at the job if not better than they are. I have as AS and some units from Sac State, but I never went back to finish. We dont want the same for our children, we want better. I know what my son is capable of and what he isnt. I know he is not going to be a straight A student, that does not mean that I am going to allow him to fail either, it means I will help him and push him as much as I can without totally stressing him out. I am in constant contact with his teacher via email and his teacher knows that if we ever need a face to face all he has to do is call. My husband and I always go to back to school night (my parents went this year too, they wanted to check out the new school and meet the teachers) and we are looking forward to going to parent conferences in November. I cannot understand how or why a parent wouldnt make education a main priority for their child. In our school our daughters class does not have PE, so the teacher sent out an email asking if any parents would be willing to volunteer their time to come to the school and provide PE for the class, my husband volunteered as did many other parents. This is out first year at public school so it is all new to us and we did place our children in a very reputable school with very high test scores and from what I hear parents with money (unforutantly we are not those kind of parents, lol). As far as parents being stretched too far, if a parent feels they are stretched too far, I guess they need to give something up so that they have more time to dedicate to their children. Not everyone can do it all like you were able to J., everyone has a limit and a parent needs to know their limits and be thier for their children period!