3 Yr Old Potty Training

Updated on May 28, 2008
L.P. asks from Magnolia, TX
9 answers

My son will be 4 in August. He is great at peeing on the potty but cannot get the pooping part down. He has pooped on the potty. He knows that is what he is supposed to do. But when he needs to go he still hides and goes in his underwear. If I can tell he needs to go and I get him to the potty he cannot go. "It's stopped", he says. I've tried rewards, punishments, you name it. Help!

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H.O.

answers from San Antonio on

My oldest son had the same problem. My husband suggested that we just let him run around without any underwear... and he went poop in the potty the first time! Hope this helps :-)

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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

My daughter turned 3 in Feb. She was choosing not to poop on the potty but her pants too. I finally told her one day, "Honey, Mommy's tired of cleaning this nasty stuff. Your not a little baby anymore. You walk and talk and it is time you poo poo on the potty like everbody else. So until you choose to poo poo on the potty I choose to not buy anymore chocolate milk (her favorite thing in the whole wide world). She went 4 days without her chocolate milk before she decided on her own that not poo pooing on the potty was not worth losing her chocolate milk for. Now, during the 4 days, I also implemented a strategy to make it really uncomfortable for her when she did go poo poo in her pants. I would take her into the bathroom and strip her down. Have her help me wash out her panties and clothes. I then bathed her lower region. The catch was that I never turned on anything but cold water. I told her we had to save the hot water for her nightime bath and that we shouldn't have to be bathing her during the day, but it is necessary if you have an accident. Well, she didn't like that much at all then coupled with the loss of milk was enough currency to open her eyes and see reason. Our last accident was in Nov of 2007 before her 3rd birthday. Hope this helps and good lluck to you. Just find what currency works for your child and this system will work. I never got upset or angry. Never punished. I let her choose because lets face it, it is their choice, but I made her choice the worst of the two. My daughter is a smart girl and I knew she would eventually get past being stubborn and see she was on the losing end of the deal and choose what I ultimately wanted. Make him want it as bad as you do and you got it made.

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P.G.

answers from Houston on

Don't get into a power struggle with him. If there is constant negativity associated with the potty it becomes a struggle that the child ends up "winning". I was at my wits end w/my youngest and finally just told him if you want to be a baby that is fine BUT if you want to be a big boy you will go to the potty everytime, and we won't have anymore yucky messes in his diaper. PLUS I made it very clear to him that when he stopped going in his diaper we could get rid of the diapers and replace his WHOLE drawer with big boy pants that he could pick out himself.

It worked. Basically giving him permission to be a baby for a little while longer was all he needed to decide that he really wanted to be a big boy afterall. Of course in the meantime I was still gently encouraging the use of the potty, but not making a big stressful issue of it for either of us. Good luck!!

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A.S.

answers from Austin on

This has been a problem with both of my children. What I finally found out from my 11 yr. old son...after many stressful attempts at all the potty training tricks and even punishment... is that both of my children suffer from (severe) constipation. As a first time mother I had no clue what was going on with my son and why he did not want to go poop in the potty. Well...fortunately for my daughter I know now what the problem is. This has been years of medications,tests,change of diet...and so on. My daughter knows what to do...but is afraid it is going to hurt due to constipation so refuses to go and then has an accident. Just thought I would share this with you in case your child has the same problem.

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E.G.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi L.,
I just recently finished going through the same thing with my daughter. She could go #2 on the potty, but just was too stubborn to do so. I would have her sit there right after every meal, etc...nothing worked. She would sit for 10-15 minutes, have nothing happen, get up and then go in her underwear within a couple minutes. I'm not sure whether this is what helped her transition, but I started having her clean/rinse her underwear after she had an accident to prep it for the wash. At first it didn't seem to make a difference to her, she just went along with it like it was an additional step. However, within a couple months she did decide to just start going on her own (very close to her 4th birthday). Sometimes it literally just takes you taking a step back and not worrying about it so much for them to want to do it. Hang in there!

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

Hi L.,
What worked for me was to put the baby on the potty about every two or three hours and after he eats(because they normally have to use to potty soon after eatting),my son got really tired of always being on the potty and started to go on his own. Sometime you may have to take him to the restroom and let him sit on the potty while you're on the potty

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B.M.

answers from Houston on

Dear L.,

I've been there. Unfortunately, boys are a bit more difficult than girls. I'm sure you've heard that before. There is no way around it. He will go when he is ready to make the transition. Some children are scared to poo in the potty. My daughtr-in-law had to move the training potty in the livingroom so my grandson could go and watch his favorite cartoon at the same time. Once he overcame his fright of going poo in the potty, she was able to move it back. I thought she was out of her mind but it worked. He focused more on the TV and was less worried about pooing. You could also try reaing a book to him while he is sitting on the potty trying to go. Anything to take the focus away from pooing. You still have to stop and make sure he remembers why he is in the bathroom. I am not a big fan of children watching tv so I prefer the book method. Good luck!!
B.
momsNcharge.com
Helping moms protect their children, one home at a time.

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L.B.

answers from San Antonio on

My son will be 4 at the end of July, and I went through the exact same things with him. It didn't matter what I did, he would still poop in his underwear. He even saw kids at daycare using the potty. Finally, one day he decided he would do it. I was so excited. You would have thought I had won the lottery. I have just decided that you can give kids all the tools they need like when they are learning to walk, but they are not going to do it until they are ready. I have a two year old as well, and I am hoping things go better, but I think I will have a lot more patience the second time around.

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M.W.

answers from Austin on

L.
My son behaved exactly as yours. It was an issue of his strong will. One thing made the difference. I tried it on the recommendation from a kind and loving mother and good friend. Before you read on, remember that it is summer (and this works ONLY in the summer).

I explained to my son that it was way too gross and yucky to clean up his poopoo accidents inside the house. I not only had to clean him and the soiled clothing, but invariably the bathroom and occasionally other parts of the house, depending on the extent of the accident. We would have to clean up outside, so he should do his poop in the potty like a big boy. He agreed.

The next time he obviously had to go (by this time I knew his habits and the warning signs), I put him on the potty and explained that he should do it here so that we wouldn't have to clean up outside. He agreed, but then wouldn't go. Said he "didn't have to". After 10 minutes, I let him get off the potty. He waited until I turned my attention to something else, and the immediately proceeded to poop in his pants. I had been checking on him frequently, and discovered the accident very quickly.

I gently guided him outside, helped him out of his soiled clothes, dumped the mess into the garden (no food products, just groundcover)... and hosed him off (hose end only - no spray nozzle, as this creates too strong a force). Mind you, it was 85 degrees outside, but the water from the tap was pretty cold. This first time, he thought it was fun, but afterwards he said he would not poop in his pants again.

Well, he did poop in his pants again the next day... and I cleaned him off with the hose again. This time he really hated it. (I made sure to get a little on his belly, which was quite the shock.) Long story short, only a couple more instances of this, and he was going on the potty like a champ.

I know it sounds severe, but it works and it hurt no one.
Good luck with whatever you decide to try!
M.

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