Trouble Picking up Toys and Throwing Toys

Hello M.. I don't know much about the "Love and Logic" method but when my son throws toys or refuses to pick up after himself (which for some reason is getting more frequent) I put him in time out. I give him a warning first. He absolutely does not like standing in the corner. He is 2 years old so he stands there for only 2 minutes. Then I talk to him and tell him why he was put in the corner and it works. But when he has his stubborn days and keeps it out. I usually take away the toys but he still stands in the corner. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I struggle with this also so I am interested in what others do. My kids have so many toys that if I take away one they just move on to the next. I have tried to always make it a game. Addison picks up all the red and Karson gets all the yellows ect. I also entertain a lot playdates and such and I always say you friends will not be able to come over if we don't get these picked up. As for the throwing. I swat their little hand, I know, I know most people these days think this is bad but I turned out just fine. It hurts them a lot more by having a toy hit them in the eye then a little swat on the hand. Then I put them in their room and make them sit there for a few minutes then come out and ask for forgiveness for doing this. I have found that each child is different even though I have two boys they do much and are effected by different punshiments. My oldest HATES to have a special toy taken away but my youngest hates to be left in his room alone. See what effects him most and carry though with that.

My sons are adults now. But when they were little and did exactly as you described, we took their toys away until they had only one or two left to play with. Then we would slowly give them back when they would put them away. You sound like your son has more toys than he knows what to do with. We also got rid of some of their toys on a regular basis to keep from having tons of toys. We had them take the toys to goodwill or salvation army. My son now does the same thing with his daughter. It took us longer than 2 weeks, but it was worth it. I did the same thing with their clothes. They would be down to one set of shoes, coats, etc.

I started to put toys away that aren't played with as often up in the attack less clutter my son has an issue with not wanting to pick up blocks and legos so we made a game out of it how many can you get into the bucket he gets excited if he get's them in and get's everyone put in even if he misses he'll try again they get all picked up.I also explain to him that he need's to help mommy with the toy pick up that he will lose them for the rest of the afternoon if he doesn't help he is begging to understand responsibility je is now just over 4 yrs. and in preschool a few days a week

I can so relate to this problem with my 3 1/2 yr old son as well. As far as picking up toys goes, you just have to be insistent--he doesn't get to do anything else until they are picked up. No park, no games, no supper, no nothing. The punishment I found that works the best for throwing toys is a bit unconventional. I take him and the toy outside and make him throw it. I say "If you want to throw this toy, that is what we are going to do!" We throw the toy until he is upset and saying "I don't want to throw anymore!" (doesn't take too long because they are really throwing out of frustration and to get your attention, not because they want to ruin them) Then, I make him throw it a few more times for good measure. When we are done, we have a little talk about it and that's it. It seems to work for us, at least for awhile because it takes the fun out of being naughty and puts you back in control. Usually the threat of "having" to throw the toy is enough. Good luck!

hi, i smile and nod my head when i read your words here! i have 3 kiddos, 5, 2 and 9 mo. and we went through the same ordeal and at times it still rears it's ugly head.... Toy tossing!!!! my husband actually, took everything away at one point but, we still had issues even then(he didn't pick up his shoes, coat,etc.). honestly, it wasn't until my #3 was born and we were all settled in a some what routine did all the "disrespectfulness" stop. logical consequences isn't always easy but, it will sink in at some point.... just try your best and know you're a great momma whether or not your child does or doesn't respect his toys. he's going through some issues, too and is probably, looking for some rules and guidelines as far as behavior goes. we are blessed to have a wonderful resale shop in our town and a few times we took "good" toys that were not being put up or were being misused to resale them. our son never really seemed bothered by it and was excited to go "visit" them (oddly enough)!!! another issue we had with baby #3 was "big brother gifts".... we politely asked for play dates or trips to the park instead and people were thrilled to take them! hope some of this helps.... take good care of yourself and that growing baby!

Have you tried making him sit in the room with the toys until he picks them up? My daughter is almost three and doesn't exactly like doing a lot of the things that I ask her to do either. So, when she gets too bad, I don't allow her to do anything else until she has done what I asked. I remind her that she can do X when she has done what I asked. I let her take as long as she wants, but she must do it. I have been doing it that way for a little while now and most of the time all I have to say is, "pick up toys first, then we'll read your book (or whatever it is she is asking for). That seems to work for us. The trick is to be sure not to forget what it was you promised to do afterwards when it takes hours to get the task accomplished. The first couple of times I tried this, I almost threw in the towel b/c it took so long, but I kept reminding myself that my word had to mean something. So, after what felt like an eternity, she did it and I had to dig deep to remember what it was we were allowed to do afterwards - which, by the way, she reminded me of :) I hope this works for you. It was SOOO hard in the beginning because the task for me was so small. I don't even remember what it was. I just remember thinking - oh, this would have been so much easier if I had just done it myself and not said that she had to do it.
Good luck!
B.
Gymobree of Lee's Summit

Maybe if he has that many toys, he obviously is not getting the benefit of the exercise of "taking them away". I know it sounds probably harsh to you, but maybe you should take them away permanently. As in don't give them back at all. Perhaps when he is so ungrateful for what he has that he has no regard to throwing it and possibly damaging the toy, other property or worse possibly hurting people, maybe he does not need to be given the toys back. I would suggest trying to talk to him, and yes he would understand this. Tell him if he needs to throw the toy it shows you that he does not respect and love the family rules. And that as a consequence he will not be getting the toy back but it will be given to charity so that children who don't have them can play with the toys. It has been my experience that this is very effective with my children. Not only does it correct the behavior but helps them be benevolent with what they have they can give to others. My children, don't hit, throw or damage their things and are respectful to the rules and caring for our household. I had three children in 5 years, I certainly understand how crazy it can be, and emotionally and physically taxing.

Hey there I just recently joined this site, I have a 4yr old son who had kinda the same deal, he never threw anything but getting him to clean up was impossible. I did the same as you and took things away if he wouldn't clean up but the closet got pretty full. What happened was my mother found a Barney video for him, he loved it of course, and they had the clean up song. Not sure if you know that one but maybe even making a song would help. Make it more of a game or a race, make it fun! Worth a try at least, good luck!!

When my boys went through this phase we would "shoot hoops" with the toys into the toy box. This way the toys got picked up and then the child got to throw it into the toy box. Everybody was happy. It took a little longer because they round up one toy at a time and then throw them in and they have to go get the missed ones and throw them in. But the boys loved being allowed to throw in the house. Same thing with smaller toys we would thrown them in the correct bin or drawer. You of course will have to "play" with him, but it makes cleaning up fun.

To help him get some of his toys back you may want to offer him simple chores. "If you help Mommy do ______ I will let you have a toy back." You know what your child is capable of helping you with and this may provide him with some incentive. My boys always loved to wipe off the leather furniture with baby wipes, pick up the dog toys, put a certain color of clothes into the right laundry hamper and they loved folding their blankets and dish towells.

Hope this helps!