Thank You! - Rowlett, TX

What you need to do is talk to the teacher. While this is a bad thing to happen, the kids don't always give the story correctly.

Whenever in doubt, TALK TO THE TEACHER. Then, if the teacher doesn't respond, TALK TO THE PRINCIPAL.

Hope this helps...

I just wanted to lend some support on the issue. I hope everything works out for you. Last year something similar happened to me with my 3rd grader. She got stuck in one of the stalls and got left by her class. A teacher was walking by and heard her yelling for help. Won't go into all the details about why she didn't climb under the stall on her own. Good Luck!

Natalie,

I realize I am in the minority here, but I'm going to try to put this in perspective anyway. First, there are a lot of "What-Ifs" in your statement. If you take a step back and look at how the situation actually played out you'll find that there really isn't anything to be concerned about. Your daughter was safely in the buidling at all times and returned unharmed to her classroom...BY HERSELF! I still get lost in my kid's elementary school so kudos to her for being brave and savy enough to find her way back! Second, the minor infraction of leaving a child in the restroom pales in comparison to the real stresses and concerns that parents face with their children in public schools these days. I'm guessing that's why you're freaked out about this situation. Finally, your real concern here should be the teacher's insensitive remarks to the children. Definately keep your eye on that one. Don't stress yourself out over the what-ifs.

I'm so sorry this happened!
I think your first action should be to speak to the teacher. Sometimes kids might exaggerate details of an experience, so you want to make sure you have the whole story. Either call or send the teacher an email to say you have a question, and ask that she contact you during her planning time. Or, you could set something up when you drop off.
When you do speak with her, let her know what your daughter told you, and that you just want to clarify what actually happened, and maybe get a better understanding of the class rules.
If the teacher really is telling kids they'll be left behind, or actually leaving them behind, you definitely want to speak with the principal or assistant principle. (Assisstants might be more accessible than the actual principle).

I would go to the Principal!

As a child in the 2nd grad I was left alone in my class while the rest of the class and teacher was outside for recess. A man walked into our school and into my class room and molested me.

This will shock you!

The same man had previously violated/raped other little girls and boys in the schools restroom!

So I would say NO THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! No child should be left alone in the restooms or class rooms without a teacher present.

I can understand your frustration and empathizing with your daughter's feelings. That's a Mom's job.

I just thought I would also share some "other side of the story" advice. I taught school for 3 years as an art teacher right next door to the bathroom. I would frequently hear kids of all ages playing in the rest-room. You might be surprised, but due to so much fear of alligations of sexual misconduct most teachers won't step foot in the children's restroom. Most of us will stand in the hall at the door, and do what she said, out loud, say they are getting ready to leave.

Teachers like everyone have a lot of responsibility and she may have thought everyone was out, or would have spoke up to say they were not done yet. It takes some time for teachers to get to that point where they can glance at their class and tell whose missing. That will come shortly!

At our school though, 1st grade rarely took class breaks, instead the kids were encouraged to simply get up ask to go and grab the pass and head to RR by themselves and make it back by themselves. 1st grade really isn't too young for this expectation, although the first day of school wouldn't be the appropriate time. All in all, everything was really fine. I would very politely express your concern to the teacher (you have no idea how many parents can be so rude to their children's teacher when they are doing and sacrificing a lot to for their children over very small things) and also teach your daughter to speak up with a "I'm not done yet, please wait" from the potty if she is still going. The teacher may wait (it can be tough to keep 15 other kids quiet in the hall while one is still going) or tell her, "we'll meet you in the x when you're done!"

K

Don't have much to add other than moral support. I would be FURIOUS! If this is truly what happened, it is absolutely unacceptable. Kids have enough to deal with starting school; they certainly don't need to be scared about getting left. With that said, if it happened later in the year, it would be more understandable - just not when they are still learning the procedures.

I'm a first time mom of a 16 month old, so I have no experience with this, but I don't understand how a teacher of 6 year olds could be like this. The kiddos need to LEARN how to do things in a new routine. I'm not sure how you would address this without causing some grief. Maybe check in with some other moms in the same class to see what kind of feedback they got from their kids? If it's a misunderstanding based on your daughter being overwhelmed by first day (and teacher being overwhelmed by first day), that's one thing, but if many kids had the same experience/reaction, then I would think it should be addressed somehow. Good luck! That's a tough one (sigh)!

I would tell the teacher what happened and that you dont want her feeling left behind... tell your daughter to speak up and let the teacher know that she was left behing and that made her feel scared.

HTH
A. J

I would absolutely bypass the teacher and go directly to the principal tomorrow. Not only was she very negligent today, but she is unnecessarily scaring the children about hurrying through the potty break. These are kids who are new to school and new to these routines. They have enough stress just adjusting to all this without having their teacher adding to it. And this is how some kids become constipated or wet their pants!

Remember also that it is within your legal right to just be there at the school...I would make a point to drop in tomorrow during potty break time (if you know when they occur) and just watch. Be nice and supportive and don't make a fuss over your child, but it lets the teacher know you mean business and it lets your child feel safe, loved and protected. It also underscores the fact that your child is NOT to be left behind ever again! I say you can't overreact enough - this is just too dangerous to trust someone who already has shown she can't be trusted with your child. Would you loan your diamond ring again to someone who left it in the restroom and didn't even know it?

Also, I wouldn't worry about causing bad feelings. Handle yourself with calmness and kindness, but be assertive and in control. And if by some chance the teacher tries to shift the blame to your child (she was going too slow; wasting time; not paying attention) - don't accept that. Your child is 6 - the teacher is the adult. It's her job to handle those issues wisely and kindly. If she can't, she needs to teach high school! :)

Sorry this happened - stay calm around your daughter, but be there for her tomorrow, so she knows you'll take care of her. Hard with two younger ones, but you have a well protected right to be at the school at any time (just be sure to sign in at the principal's office and get a visitor's badge, or whatever their protocol is).

First of all...she is in 1st grade - not highschool!!!! I would be FURIOUS and the PRINCIPAL would be seeing my face FIRST thing in the morning. The school and the teachers who work in it are RESPONSIBLE for the safety and well-being of our children while they are in school. These are our taxpayer dollars at work! I would raise a stink and I guarantee that they would be seeing me - and if a proper answer wasn't given, then I would go staright to the school board. That is ridiculous!

I worked at a day care center during the summer a few years back and had the school aged kids. I know the circumstances are different but if I left a child somewhere I would have gotten written up. What if that was a field trip??? Not a very smart teacher. She needs to be taking role after returning to the classroom. I know my kiddos hated taking role but I was never going to leave any of them and if I did we would have made sure someone went back to help her. You don't want your daughter scared. To a 1st grader that can be kind of traumatic. The teacher should defiantly be made aware that it had an effect on you and your child. You cannot be with your child during the day and you are intrusting her with the school and her teacher. They are responsible for her at all times during school hours. I agree with the other moms that you should check with the other parents to see how their children responded to the matter and if they realized that your daughter was not with them. You might get some answers--especially if someone said something to the teacher and she ignored them. Good luck and I hope your daughter has a great rest of the year.

Definately, make an appointment with the teacher to discuss it. These kids are too young to be handled in the way that she did. Perhaps she is inexperienced for this age child or ?? Ask her to talk to you about it first and explain what happened from her perspective -- before you tell her your child's perspective and yours. Make it friendly like you assume she wants to do what's best. At discussions end, reiterate what has been agreed to and tell her how much you appreciate her working with you. Take notes if it is not going well. She'll then "get" that you may discuss your notes with a principal. If she doesn't end up agreeing with you to make positive changes, let her know very politely that you still have concerns and that you feel you must discuss them up the chain. And then do.

Oh my gosh. I would be so upset about this. How sad and scary for your little girl. You are the one to stick up for her, so tell the teacher that you are upset that your daughter was left in behind. I am sure that it was unintentional, but she needs to know that it was unacceptable and will NOT let it happen again. Perhaps she didn't say anything because she was a little freaked out that she actually did leave someone behind. What if your daughter could not find her way back??? Definitely say something!!!!

I agree with Trish T on this. She put your child in danger. I would be livid. I think I would be asking for a different teacher.
My girls came home from school last year upset because their bus driver drove off a left a Kindergartener behind in the morning because he took to long to walk to the bus. Not only was he upset, all the kids on the bus were also.
I was in the superintendent's office the next day. To make a child feel scared is cruel.

Just a question but did your daughter attend kindergarten there? If she did she might have some recollection of where the bathrooms are and where her class is. Now that being said, I would have been a little upset that she was left behind and I would ask the teacher if it is customary to leave students behind that take too long in the bathroom. My dd who is 9 when she was in 1st grade the teachers let them go to the bathroom by themselves and in my middle daughters 1st grade class there was a bathroom in the classroom. I am on the fence as to how much to react. On one hand I am sure that it scared your dd. And on the other hand I have know teachers that have the attitude that the rules need to be followed in a timely fashion but that was a little harsh on the first day, if the teacher was making comments on leaving students behind if they were slow. I say approach it with caution and grace. It may be her first year teaching and if it is your dd 1st year at this school it will take some getting used to. I hope that everything goes better the rest of the year. Talk with the teacher first and see how that goes then if it doesn't go well then ask to speak to the Assistant Principal and so on and so on. But I think that everything will work itself out. I am sorry that this has happened but try very hard not to let it ruin the rest of the year. My oldest daughter had issues with school in her kindergarten year(she did not want to go to school) and after 6 weeks with one teacher they wanted to put her in another class b/c they were changing her original class to and ESL class and this was devestating(sp?) to her. After it was all said and done and after I raised a big stink at the school(without talking to the teacher first) I wished I had just let things work themselves out. The new teacher was a dream! She was the best thing that could have happened to us that school year. So keep positive and don't let this one thing keep you from enjoying the rest of 1st grade. I hope this helps.

They put my kindergartener on the wrong bus, NOT his daycare bus, so I got a call from his daycare asking if I had picked him up. The school told the daycare, who was looking for him, that he had already been picked up! Of course because they put him on wrong bus! At least it was the bus that goes through our neighborhood and they were trying to get him back to to the school. Luckily I happen to be in town today at a dentist appt and got to the school by 3pm. But I was pretty upset when I got to the school. Daycare was waiting on him there too. We even filled out a special info sheet FOR THE TEACHER at Meet the Teacher night which has his way of getting home on it and the phone number of the daycare. Guess that got passed up. I was so upset once I got my son that I just had to get out of there. The office was chaos. I even called back up to the school to verify WHO puts them on the buses and to make sure this DOES NOT happen again. Of course they apologized profusely. Apparently the principle was having a meeting with the teachers on some concerns he had today, I don't think my child was the only one. I guess I will be putting a note on his shirt and in his backpack so they make SURE he goes to the right bus, because to a 5 yr old, all buses look alike. Makes me already lose trust in those at the school. I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow until I know for sure he made it safely on his daycare bus.

I haven't read the other responses yet, but wanted to let you know this sounds like a similar situation that we had when my daughter was in second grade. My daughter claimed that the teacher left her out on the playground after recess. When I emailed the teacher about it, she called me and said that my daughter must have gotten mixed in with one of the other classes on the playground and she didn't notice it when they went back into the building. Now, my daughter can tune everything out very easily so I could see where the teacher could yell for everyone to get ready to go in and my daughter still be playing without ever even hearing it. And I could also see her playing with members of another class and not even noticing that her class had gone into the building. But what bothered me most was that my daughter said she and another girl got left outside with no other classes and the door was locked. The teacher denied that. She said if she ever did get left outside, it would have been when other teachers were still outside. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but was very clear and that I expected her to make sure my daughter was with the class when they went back into the building. The teacher told me the did a headcount when they lined up to go in, but that she guessed she could have missed her. She assured me that it wouldn't happen again, and it never did.

No teacher should leave a 6 year old behind or expect them to get to another area of the school this early in the school year. If you're having problems with how the teacher handles this situation, do not hesitate to contact administration (Principal, Vice Principal) to discuss it from a policy standpoint. You should get some reassurances from either the teacher or someone higher up so that you can be sure your daughter is safe.

Good luck!

I believe some of the responses are a little TOO strong. Children DO exaggerate, I am not saying yours did but keep that in mind.

I would simply email or talk to the teacher (FACE TO FACE) first. IF you are not satisfied with her response and reaction, then step it up.

Teachers deserve to have parents speak with them directly before running to the principal or assistant first. I know most of them do work very hard to make sure they meet parents' expectations as well as the priority of educating our children. They deserve respect. In many cases, it is a simple misunderstanding.

Believe me, I have an only child, daughter, who just started 8th grade yesterday. I have been in the principal's, dean and campus police officer's face before and I would not hesitate to do it again if needed. On my daughter's first day of kinder she was dropped off at the wrong stop and ran home. Of course I was livid at the time but I also saw that my daughter was not incapable of getting herself home just fine. I underestimated my own child....

I substitute at only 1 elementary school in PISD. I have never seen, heard or ever told a child to hurry up or be left behind. That is cruel..... Most teachers I have met are very loving and nurturing.

As for Trish T. I am so sorry that happened to you. I don't know what district you are located in but with PISD, EVERYONE who walks in the door is checked, driver license scanned and if anyone is in the building without a proper badge or scanned nametag....Plano PD will be there in an instant. Cameras are installed throughout the building at all entrances/exits and in all hallways of the classrooms. This is also the way it is when I go to the Middle School where my only child, daughter is in 8th grade.

I hope it everything smoothes out for you. This is the first week of school and routines will be learned quickly.

Bless you for being such a caring mom.

You might want to consider sharing with the teacher how frightened your child was. Let the teacher know that you understand that part of first grade is learning to follow the routine and follow directions. You could then suggest that since your daughter seems to take a little longer in the bathroom, could she please be one of the first to go in, at least during the month of September. That way you are offering a suggestion with time limitations, and approaching the issue as a way to work through helping your child learn to use the bathroom in a manner that is expected at school. I think you will find that when you approach issues in a way that will benefit your child's school performance - it will be easier for all related parties to get on board with a solution.

If you talk to your daughter, and find out that the reason she is taking so long is because she wants privacy in the bathroom (some children are very sensitive to the possibility of anyone hearing them in the bathroom) - you might want to ask the teacher if your child could always go last, with a "we'll meet you back in the classroom, Suzy" sort of strategy, that might make your daughter feel more comfortable. I have been working in pediatrics for over 15 years - the bathroom can be a big issue in kindergarten and first grade!

Good Luck!
S.

I think sending an email to the teacher was a good thing to do. I would not be overly concerned with it happening again. Try to hope for the best (if that is possible). Make sure your daughter is making it clear to the teacher if she is the last one in the restroom she needs to let the teacher know that she did her business as efficiently as possible, etc. If it becomes an issue more than once then I would talk to the teacher and just make sure everyone is on the same page.