When Did Your Kids Stop Playing with Toys?

My son is 13 and is embarrassed to have friends in his room also! He still has nerfguns, Buzz is still hanging around, starwars, bouncy rubber balls, lots of stuff. I told him when he wants to put all this away I will get him a container and he can do it. It's still in his room! We have kids over now and then and believe me they get all excited and start playing with everything! So funny to see.

Brainstorm with her to find a solution. American Girls is probably still somewhat popular maybe, and stuff made by grandpop is something to be proud of.

There are some cool under bed storage containers that she could put things into and "hide" in her room.
http://www.containerstore.com/shop/closet/underbedStorage

Perhaps the Dreamhouse could be part of the "decor" of her room? I don't know if she's princessy, but it might fly if the "theme" of the room worked with the "toys" she likes to keep.

Help her transition her room into a teen room vs. a kids room and that may make her feel more comfy as she transitions through the teens.

I see this a little differently than most I guess. I think you should help her to think of ways to express herself if visiting girls (friends?) question or tease her. You could thin out the stock of toys if she wants a more big girl room but she should be able to speak up for herself and tell a friend that she likes to do lots of different things and yes, one of those things is play with Barbie or AG stuff.

Something sad happens to a lot of little girls around 11-12. They stop "doing" things and the start focusing almost exclusively on their appearance. I think helping her to find her voice with the subject of still playing with toys will help her to make her own path into the future.

This is not the last time she's going to be embarrassed in the face of her peers. Learning to be proud of who she is and what she enjoys doing will serve her very well as she grows up. Isn't this situation just another form of peer pressure? Wouldn't you encourage her to stand up for herself if she was a teen facing pressure from her peers?

This post made me sad. At 11, there is nothing wrong with still playing with toys. I'm sorry she feels pressured by her peers to give them up before she is ready.

Perhaps a discreet "doll village" in the bottom of her closet would be a solution. Let her set up her dollhouse or doll furniture in the closet, where she can still access them easily for play, but close the door when her friends are over. As for the friends who have hidden their toys in the basement - does your daughter know this? She should, as long as she is wise enough not to publicly call them out on it. And when these friends are over, they are the ones who might actually take joy in playing dolls with a like-minded child.

Is the source of this pressure many kids, or does it have roots in one queen bee who is driving the rest to conform? Is there meanness behind the pressure? Has anyone been making fun of her? That also might be worth asking your daughter. Letting others pressure her into giving up the toys she so obviously enjoys makes me wonder - what else will she let the queen bees push her into doing later that she doesn't want to do? It sounds like it's time for an honest conversation about peer pressure, recognizing the more subtle forms of bullying that are out there, and standing up for herself. Also, she needs to know that people who push her to conform or who are mean to her because of who she is are NOT friends.

If she insists on getting the toys out of sight, please don't throw out the handmade things from her grandpa or the dolls that go with them. Find somewhere safe to store them. She would reach a point when she deeply regretted letting those go, I think.

That's a tough question. On the one hand you don't want her to be embarrassed to have friends over or have to go through being made fun of. On the other hand, she still plays with her toys and so you definitely don't want to get rid of them, either. Also, you don't want her learning a lesson that you should do whatever your friend's think is cool even if you believe something different. In other words, it would be great if she could just say, "Yeah, I still play with toys. Big deal. Want to play, too?" instead of being embarrassed. Hmmmmm....... I don't know. I guess a good compromise would be to store most of her toys in colored bins so they aren't out in sight as much but still completely accessible. Then still have her keep a few favorites out so she still has her own identity instead of just trying to be like her friends - who sound like they still like toys, as well, so maybe they would relax a bit after seeing she does, too. As for the American Girl stuff, tell her to tell her friends she enjoys collecting them. (A lot of grown women enjoy collecting dolls.) But mainly I think you should try to get across her that's it's OK to enjoy being a kid and as hard as it seems, to try to not worry about what her friends think. (I know that's hard at her age.) As for my kids, my oldest is 11 and still plays with toys. Good luck!

Put the toys in bins and tell her to blame the American Girl Doll stuff on you, "my mom won't let me get rid of it because my Grandparents bought it or made it", "my cousin is still little and she likes playing with the toys when she comes over".

This age stinks. They want to be 'grown up' but are still young and like to play with kid toys. Most kids at this age are not secure in themselves to just say it like it is, "yeah I still like barbies and American Girl dolls". Of course encourage her to be herself but she's probably going to fight you on it.

My daughter had 2 friends that she could confide in that she still liked barbies & toys. They did too and they played together without exposing each other. Maybe you can try to find a way to see if there is one good friend that likes toys still, that way your daughter will have at least one friend to be a kid with.

This is sad! :) Since all the girls do play with their toys still, could you talk to the other mothers about having a big "toy" party so they all admit they still play with toys and can get over this?... Maybe a mom with a basement could tell her daughter "let's invite everyone over to play with your stuff one more time and have them bring any toys they may still happen to have lying around. We'll tell them we're throwing it all away after the party." Have all the girls bring some of their AG doll or Barbie stuff and have "one last" toy party. Serve pizza etc. Then maybe when they're all there, get a conversation started about how maybe every once in awhile it's fun to play with this stuff. Maybe get one girl to admit she does and then they'll all relax and admit they do too. I'd try to make the group of girls devoid of any obnoxious ones though... Pick the really sweet type girls. Either that or yeah, I'd overhaul her room to hide stuff. Have her tell her friends the AG stuff was expensive and she's keeping it until you guys find some storage.

I have an 11 year old girl who is slowly "growing out" of her toys. She doesn't seem embarrassed by them, just uninterested. Before Christmas she packed up all of AG stuff (luckily we have room in the basement for the 3 big bins she put everything in!). She is definitely more interested in doing things like running around the neighborhood playing "Hunger Games" and tag and that sort of thing. If it's cold out they'll play the Wii or listen to music or make little videos on her iPod touch. I do have a 9 year old daughter as well, who has a gigantic Calico Critter village in our basement. My 11 year old plays down there with her sister at least once a week, so I can't say she NEVER plays with toys. But it's fading, and it makes me sad. For Christmas she wanted a butterfly chair and a fuzzy blanket for her room instead of toys. Sigh.

I really like what Kari F. had to say though. Encourage her to be who she is. Wouldn't it be great if all kids could say "This is who I am, and I LIKE it!"? This age is so tough though.

C.! Hang tough, it's OK! My 11-year-old daughter would love to play with yours and would be all over her American Girl furniture. Can she bring over her AG dolls?....

My daughter is the same age (nearly 12) and though she doesn't play with Barbie -- well, she never did get into Barbies at all. What she has covering her bed right now is stuffed animals. Not random ones but ones she has gotten since she was 10 months old. I gave her a new one for Christmas because she fell instantly in love with it in a shop (and did not ask me to buy it then and there but just looked at it with such longing that I went back and got it and kept it for months waiting for Christmas). Each animal has a definite personality and interests and activities and believe me, her dad and I talk to and have adventures with the animals too. So...your daughter is not at all unusual (in my book!) for still loving toys and pretending and playing with them.

I bet that if you really eavesdrop on your daughter's play you would find that it is more mature than you realize -- the stories she plays with her dolls etc. are likely more complex and interesting than they were a few years back. That's great. Toys are still stimulating her imagination and there's nothing wrong with that!

But you have the issue here of your daughter both wanting her toys and being embarrassed by them. I'm so sorry that she's somehow become self-conscious about the toys, and I hope that her embarrassment wasn't driven by some "friend" making an unkind comment about what was in her room.

I would tell her that everyone has "toys." Adults have cars they worship, or electronic devices they use to play games. Some adults collect toys all their lives and though they may not play with them, they treasure them and put them on display for everyone to see -- so having toys out in her room is kind of like that. With AG dolls and furniture in particular, those are collected by older girls and adults. I see girls who are clearly at least 13 to 15 in our nearby AG store -- carrying dolls and examining all the goods. No shame there.I bet if she puts the dolls on stands when she's not using them and displays them, she can tell other kids with great seriousness, "You do realize they are collectibles, right?"

Is there any place in your home that can be her playroom where she can put larger things like the Barbie Dream House? I can see another kid making fun of that, I'm sorry to say, but I'd certainly defend the AG items as big-ticket collectibles. I tend to want to say tell her to be proud about her toys, especially anything someone lovingly MADE for her! But I also get her preteen embarrassment factor. So ask if she wants her room redecorated but I would not add "because we can put the toys away." Make it more about the fun of redoing her room, not about making it some rite of passage where she has to get rid of toys (though that may end up being what it is).

I admit that this advice comes from someone who loves her kid's toys. They are family members. It will break my heart a bit when my daughter no longer sleeps with her old Kitty toy in her arms (as she has since infancy). I go into her room some days and arrange the animals in amusing ways (the other day they were in a circle, playing blackjack and apparently wagering, for shame! She liked the joke). She even has assigned toys to my husband and me, ones we must keep in our bed and which mysteriously end up in the car going on trips with us. Just yesterday the new animal, a very realistic black bear, came in the car with me when I went to pick her up at school - just because I thought he needed an outing!

Sorry to digress into toy-love. But all that is to say -- it is wonderful that your daughter enjoys and gets use and fun and comfort out of her toys. Toys require more imagination and effor than mindless staring at tiny screens so your kid is making a good choice. I just hope that she can be strong enough to shrug and say, "I like imagining things, and these are my tools for imagination. Any real friend of mine won't snark at it but will play too."

12.5 here and no end to playing with toys in sight! It probably helps that she has a little sister, b/c she can blame some of it on her, but she loves her AG dolls, and will play school, house, etc. and doesn't mind if friends see it (as far as I know, since they usually play together when they come over!) Her closest friends mom just overhauled her room and forbade her to play with dolls anymore (she's also 12.)
I would put them in easy-to-pull-out bins or suitcases in her closet if she's embarrassed.

My GD, who will be 11 in March, still plays with toys to an extent. She does have a dollhouse and she loves playing with that and the little people that go in it. I can't really think of other "toys" she plays with. She doesn't worry about putting the dollhouse and accessories away when her friends come over, because they like to play with it also.

If it's that big of a deal, get some bins and put the toys in the closet. As for the new AG doll and accessories, I would tell her to tell her friends that they are a collection and therefore are for display and not play. She could launch into how valuable they are going to be in the future; she is holding on to them to sell once the value goes up. Then her friends will think she's really smart!

My ten year old and seven year olds don't play with their toys any more (except Lego and Nerf Guns), but they refuse to get rid of them.

I got rid of my kids toys around the age of 11-12. I am the guru of hiding things and keeping things unseen while being out in the open.

I would seriously consider having bookshelves tricked out with baskets to hide toys. While the large pieces you mentioned may fit into two or three large sized bins and can be tucked at the bottom of the closet or stacked on one side of the closet.

I love dolls. So I keep my Barbies in a bin along with furniture and clothes. I only have boys so it is rare that I get to take them out any longer. Recently a very close friend of mine lost her husband suddenly. I get to play with her 6 year old daughter. It gives my friend a break and helps her little one not be so sad. She loves my vintage Barbies and I love playing with her.

Ask your daughter what she wants to do and help her do that. You could say something to her like, "I noticed you don't want your friends to see your toy collection which is fine but since we are limited on space we need to figure out a way to hide the ones you want to keep and get rid of the ones you want to part with."

Make it fun. Home Depot has some colorful large plastic bins that are great for decorating and hiding your wanted treasures.

I played with dolls until 13 (a lot) and only stopped because school got in the way. My room is exactly the same as when I left home for college (it had not really changed since early childhood), by the way. It's WONDERFUL for my kids. My Little Pony wall paper, too.
If my mom had gotten rid of the toys, my kids would not have this awesome play space at Grandma's.

My daughter is now 15 and still has some toys in her closet. She was about 11/12 when she did the big clean out and got rid of things she didn't really play with, but still kept things she did. I know some friends she had them for when little kids come over (really convenient to still have some of it btw). Put them in bins in her closet that she can still access. Update her room to a tween style, but be prepared to do it again in a few years (that's where we're at). Your daughter can use you as an excuse - my grandpa made this and my mom says I have to keep it. It also works as they get older - I can't have a drink b/c my mom will check me. They're not lying as there are toys you won't let her get rid of, at least not yet.

That's the age where they're trying so hard to be grown-up that they won't play in the snow because its not cool. Fortunately my daughter is passed that point. She wanted a pillow pet for Christmas and she'll play with a slinky or yo-yo. She makes me smile and I tell her never to grow-up.

My daughter just turned 12 and doesn't play with toys at all. She has a ton of stuffed animals but doesn't play with them, just collects them b/c they're cute.

i have struggled for many years at christmas and birthday, since toddler hood my kids dd especially don't play with toys.

I'm so glad a few others have said that too. She loves to collect things but never wants to be in her room alone and really hasn't ever asked to bring her doll house or even zoobles, squinkies, barbies, stuffed animals out in to the living room. sooo weird.

i feel like i did something wrong and was supposed to teach them to play with legos and dolls, they were just never that into it, they like books and art and running around the house with balloons.
dd is 8

My daughter is 11 and my son is 14. They still play with toys. They don't have nearly as many sitting out, but they still randomly pick up something and play with it. No big deal.
They do tend to gravitate towards video games or electronics or skateboards/ripsticks when other kids are around though.

Last night daughter was skyping and painting her toenails. Today she might have out the modeling clay. Who knows?

I would have her donate anything that she doesn't want anymore. Then, clear out a section of her closet for some of the stuff she wants and can store away/take out easily. Will anything fit in your room? Perhaps she can store the doll house there when friends come over. And as for American Girl Dolls, no reason to be embarrassed. I bet when friends come over they will either play with them or just ignore them and sit on her bed. If you update her room to a more tween space, she will love it!