My daughter has zero interest in sports. We enjoy swimming, bike riding, and roller skating(she is the BEST skater in her school). we have been fake rock climbing and visiting every park in the city to play. She is very slow and clumsy(she has a physical reason and we think her legs will straighten out in 4 years) and that is probally why she hates the idea of trying soccer or basketball. We don't tell her she has any disability and we only told the school because we don't want them doing anything to try to correct her in a negative way. I think only parents with medical or rehab knowledge can tell something is off.
I have been told by several moms and dads I need to get her into sports because that is how their kids make friends. We are in scouts, a church kids club, and piano. We also do artsy things all year long on our own and with a couple friends. every week we invite different kids to come over and play on saturday. Is she missing out? She really doesn't want to do sports and she would be the worst on the team I imagine. Plus, I can't teach her sports.she is in public school. She is all A's and no problems at school(other than being occasionally not allowed to play with the club they make up at recess). The teachers insist she is perfectly fine, though reserved like me.
She will only make friends in sports if she is GOOD at them. If she is bad at them she will get singled out and teased. At least that was my experience when I was in school. My daughter absolutely refuses to play a sport and she has lots of friends.
absolutely false. first off, the point is to enjoy it. if she's not, you will not be helping her, you will make her miserable. it sounds like she is involved in a TON of activities. why on earth would she need more? she sounds old enough to decide for herself. don't make her miserable just because "some people say".
I didnt do sports and I had plenty of friends. Dont force her to do things she doesnt want to.
I had 8 kids that were involved in sports and music. I required all of my kids to have one year of music in high school. Music helped them to be well rounded and gave them all an appreciation of music that wasn't played only with gitars and a drummer.
My kids had to choose between the band or the choir. They had fun, made good friends, learned team work and an appreciation for the arts. AND they got to participate all the time. When your kids play sports, the coach's chosen few actually play*. The rest sit on the bench and watch. Every one in the band plays the music and concerts. Every one sings in the choir. They all sing in the concerts. My kids in the band and choir went on concert trips to Washington DC, New York, San Francisco, Austraila, but they also did concerts for rest homes and Senior Centers. And they earned the money to go. The school didn't pay anything. They learned to work and earn money to pay their own way. You can't get thet kind of experience on any sports team. From this dad's perspective your kids don't miss anything worthwhile by not playing "team" sports. (Oh, I misspoke. They ocassionally get a 6" trophy to gather dust on their dresser.)
* The last time I counted, there were 23 footbal players that actually played. 11 on the offense, 11 on the defense, and 1 field goal kicker. The other 66 kids, just watched the game from the bench. The 23 were close and were friends with the others in the 23. The 66 were excluded and partially shunned.
Good luck to you and yours.
Don't mean to be rude, but I find your question to be very odd. There are millions of children who do not play sports, but they have lots of friends and a fullfilling social life. I'm sure she's finding friends in the many activities that you listed. My daughter's both tried sports at a young age and quickly discovered it was something that they were not interested in. During that time, they did not make any sports friends. They meet their friends thru school band, classmates, neighborhood kids, and girl scouts.
No, she's not missing out. She's doing plenty of other things.
My daughter is "non-sporty" and does not play on a team. But she is, very athletic.
She has LOTS of friends, does NOT miss out on anything... and is perfectly FINE!
My daughter, does not like "soccer" type things, at all. We encourage her to join things/interests that SHE likes and has a penchant for or a talent for or a curiosity for.
I don't see why, personally, why ALL kids have to join soccer or any other group/team sport.
My daughter is artsy as well, and takes Karate. She LOVES it.
She is NOT missing out on anything. At All.
If a kid is 'reserved'... so what? Not all kids, nor adults.... are gregarious extroverts. NO one has to be... that way. Each person is unique... and should be nurtured, for being THEMSELVES. Which is what I do with my kids.
They are VERY self-assured and self-reliant and self-confident kids. AND they are always, themselves. THAT is important to me... instead of them having to be a sheep or follower.
All the best,
Susan
playing sports wont make you have more friends. She will have friends even if she doesnt do sports. I didnt do sports and had plenty of friends.
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playing sports wont make you have more friends. She will have friends even if she doesnt do sports. I didnt do sports and had plenty of friends.
Being in sports won't ruin her academic or social life. Just as long as she is participating in other areas she is interested in is important to hep her meet people as well as develop skills and talents. Drama, art, creative writing, chess, dance, music, volunteering with animals, science club...
No. There was a similar thread on this about a week ago. Sports are great if your child enjoys sports. Otherwise, no loss in not playing any. I never played any sport (I'm not remotely athletic) and had a lot of friends in school. She sounds very active already. If people make snarky comments about your child not being in sports, I would just say she is happy and makes friends just fine without sports and leave it at that.
She is not missing out at all. When young kids are on sports teams they don't make as close of friends on the team as the older kids will. They really kind of stick to themselves from what I have seen and there is not a lot of oppprtunity to socialize unless plans are made for teams to go out after games or practice. Scouts and the kids club at church represent much better opportunities for making friends.
One more point to make....I wonder how many of your friends kids actually WANT to be on their sports teams or are they there b/c M. and dad make them. I can't tell you how many people I know who "make" their kid pick a sport. pathetic.
I was the opposite - I was a total jock but NONE of my close friends were. They were, as they would describe themselves, uncoordinated, clumsy, and hated physical activity in general. Despite our differences and the fact that during my activities I never hung around them, we certainly had a blast in and out of school. I don't think it would be a problem at all for your daughter.
I would have her do some form of exercise for her health not for friends. It sounds like swimming is her interest and that would be great for her leg strengthening too. I am a physical therapist and in line skating is great for her hips too which really helps the rest of her leg. She will make friends in the area of her interest.
I think it's better that your daughter is involved with things that interest her, pursuing activities that involve other kids with similar interests. It sounds like she may be homeschooled (?), but that doesn't mean that sports are the only way she'll make friends.
Maybe ask your daughter if there are 2 or 3 kids that she'd like to get to know better and invited them over more often, instead of a new kid every week. People need time to develop friendships, even kids ;)
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I really wouldn't worry that much. In elementary school the gym teacher was always writing "does not participate" on my report cards. But I always had friends and was involved in a lot of other activities. My friends from Girl Scouts are are still my friends 25+ years later.
It sounds like she has other ways to stay active and other ways to meet people.
Sports are not the only places to make friends. It sounds like she is in many activities that are good. Other places are any clubs or groups or classes for things she enjoys. I was never sporty, but made many friends in Drama club, creative writing and young authors groups, and my art classes. I never felt I was missing out on anything.
She sounds fine to me M. and you seem to be offering many other things. All of us are not sporty. It is not a sin.
It sounds like your daughter has a very full life. I wouldn't think that NOT being in organized sports will be a problem - and I AM a sporty girl. I think as long as she has friends, scouts, and an active lifestyle she'll be fine. There are plenty of other non-sports ways for her to have friends too like the chess club, musical instrument/band, choir, etc. Besides, swimming IS a sport and she could easily join a swim team at the local Y if she wants.
I would instead focus on her health. As long as she's a healthy weight, lives an active life, does well in school, has friends, etc. then it sounds like she's just perfect the way she is.
I don't think she is missing anything by not playing sports but if you are worried about it have you considered dance it might help with the clumsiness and also help strengthen her legs plus she would get to meet some other girls and maybe give her some confidence.
All of my kids have at one time or another played a team sport. They all hated it and I didn't force them to continue. Did they make friends on those teams? Nope, not at all. Have they made friends at school? Yep. Swimming lessons? Yep. Karate? Yep. Ballet class? Not yet, but it's still early on. They are well rounded, have wonderful friends, my older daughter is kinda shy, but has a great BFF, my son (who has ADHD and Autism) has a fantastic best friend and my younger daughter has more friends than I can count. They work hard and do well in school. They also play (between the 3 of them) piano, guitar and violin. And they all LOVE making artwork. They are happy and so am I. If your daughter is happy, is doing well at school, enjoys the activities you DO have her involved in and likes having a smaller group of friends, that's AWESOME! I played on team sports my whole life and LOVED it - my kids don't. But I don't think they'll have any less of a childhood just because they didn't play on a team regularly.
I played sports from K-12, and while, yes, I did have many friends on my various teams, my lifelong strong friendships were all with the people from my hs chorus and classes, and various arts-related extracurricula activities (musical, one-act-play, drama club, speech club.)
I tried SOOO hard to develop very close relationships with the girls on my teams, but had more in common with the artsy and academic girls.
Maybe you should check out swimming teams. I don't think shes missing out on friends but there are positive things that come out of being part of a team. You should see if swimming is something she would even be interested in.
