Getting Rid of Toys

The next time her room gets out of control, get a couple of laundry baskets or trash bags or whatever and bring them into her room. Designate a couple as "keep" and a couple as "give away/throw away," and tell her she has to fill all of the baskets/bags. She gets to pick what to keep and what to give away but at the end, both kinds of baskets need to be filled. The next time her room is a mess, reduce the number of baskets to keep and add one more to the give away. Keep going. Good luck!

I do both... FIRST, I do it when my kids are not home and get things weeded out that way.
I do NOT rearrange everything... just weed through it then toss.
THEN... they don't really notice it.
THEN, for the minor stuff... I ask them their opinion on it.

MOST times, my kids don't even know I tossed things out.
Last summer, I tossed 18 garbage bags full of stuff.
My daughter, NEVER even noticed nor missed, what I threw out.

I also tell my daughter (she is the clutter kid in my family), that BUGS will come, if we don't clean it out every so often. So this rationale, works with her....

BUT... the KEY thing is: you HAVE TO know, what is truly special to her and irreplaceable or a family heirloom etc.... and if it is from her other Mom or not. DO NOT throw those things out.... or it will really, cause hurt.
I for example, have a special plastic box, just for those things. Only. And I label it so no one will throw it away. In it are even a few things that I gave my daughter, from my own childhood.

Good luck,
Susan

I do not think it is mean, I think it is the only way to get her to get rid of stuff.
Our daughter used to become too overwhelmed to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. I did the same thing. Threw away broken stuff and then put stuff in bags and see if she noticed..

Sometimes, I would tell her "In 3 weeks I am having a garage sale. If you will put the stuff you want o sell in a bag, I will give you the money."
It worked well..

The option would be to have your husband assist precious in getting rid of all of that clutter and junk, bet he would change his tune, real quick.

my four year olds room is toys "r" us! and every couple of months i sit down with him and have him pull eveything out and i tell him some of this stuff is going in the garbage and that's that! sometimes he throws things in ther himself but if it;s something that he has multiples of i sneakily( is that a word lol) slide things in the bag. i can't tkae the clutter sometimes and he has lots of mcdonalds toys that are small so most times he doesn't even notice that they are gone. good luck

I would just tell her that it's time to clean up and purge. Give her three boxes of reasonable size and have her fill up:
1) Clean toys that can go to charity
2) Broken things that need to be thrown out
3) Things to keep.
Don't get pulled into a discussion or fight over what she can/can't have. She is big enough to make the decisions. Let her make the choices but let her know that it WILL get done. Then set a time limit.
As far as the magazines and paper, throw them out.

I think at age 9 she needs to start taking responsibility for her items. She also deserves a certain amount of privacy. Yes, one of my tricks is to throw out a broken item or some of those junkie toys that she'll never miss. The other is to tell her to clean her room and I take away priviledges until it's clean. Cleaning her room, may include telling her you need to pick 3 toys that you don't play with anymore so we can donate them. Other times I've had to sit in the middle of her bed and help direct her.

Good luck.

I've got a 3.5 yr old, and competing MIL's! I've tried all the things you've done. If I can keep him distracted long enough to go in there-I toss it all, sometimes I take it to Goodwill, sometimes I leave it on the curb. Clutter literally makes me ill, sometimes. I do this with clothes that I've NEVER seen my husband wear, and that he simply well, can't squeeze himself in to. If I can get it in the laundry room-I can get it out of my life!

I do a little of both getting rid when the kids are gone and letting them choose what can go. I mix it a little. First they get to choose what goes. Then I get to choose. Also we have a rule if something new comes in the house 2 toys must go. We have a garage sale and the toys they sell can buy a new toy and some money goes in the bank. The toys get donated to Goodwill/Salvation Army/etc. for other kids to enjoy. It works out well for our family.

get rid of the old... see what she is into.. and what has dust on it.. get rid of.. she won't miss it.. if she does.. tell her you don't know where it is.. get rid of only 2 things a week.. that way it won't be noticable..

I know it was around that age that I started really hating when my mom when through my stuff, so I'd start working on implementing a new system now, because that day will probably be coming soon. I know a mom who has her and her daughter pick out at least one thing every day when the leave the house to donate or give away. I think they keep it in the car and if they come across the right person for it, they give it to them. Otherwise it goes into a bag in the trunk and when the bag is full they give it to a donation site.

My 7 yo son is a FHOA (Future Hoarder of America!) and if left to him to decide--nothing would go--ever! I pitch stuff every chance I get. Usually, he doesn't notice & if he does--it's tooooooo late! ;-)

I would tell her that you and she can clean her room together over the summer b4 she goes bk to school and set a day, or you can do it for her (best to do it when she is not home or when she is bk in school). What I used to do is to get 2-3 good sized plastic below the bed lidded boxes and a few kitchen sized trash bags. I would go thru her things and gather up all of the McD's and smaller toys she no plnger played with for the last yr then I would work up to the mid-sized toys and do the same then large ones and games too. After I filled the boxes on my own I would take them out of her room and store them somewhere else in the house. Soon after the pulling, on a day she has some free time, ask her look thru the boxes of things I had pulled from her room . If there was anything special to her that she wanted to keep I let her take it back, within reason, unless I knew she had not played with it in the last yr of so. Next thing would be to let her know that the remaining was going to Goodwill or a similar charity and off it went. If there were things that were broken or too old to give away due to condition I thru them away. If you do this every couple of months and get the toys and old clothes to the charity place soon there seems to be less upset. My daughter really seems to enjoy the less cluttered room too I have found. I think it is hard for children to sit down on their own and sort thru their old toys to give away. If Mom or someone else does it for them the toys seem to have less importance for them. Not sure why, but this way works for me. When my daughter turned 11 she began doing this on her own, now she tells me when she has "stuff and clothes she no longer wears to give away" Hurray! Hope this helps.

I am sorry but I totally disagree with hubby. I am sure he is wonderful, but get her used to you being in there things not overtly but that she is aware you go in there every now in then. Speaking from experience as a mother, and an educator there are too many dangerous things available to children at younger and younger ages and I suggest despite our denial we have to take a good hard look at that. Sadly only a little bit older and teens have been found to have liquor or other things usually stashed in their drawers, under beds or in closets.AGAIN I AM NOT saying that will ever happen and I think you will establish right away the fact that her territory does not have a wall around it. So as she heads towards these other stages in life she can be comfortable knowing you care and are concerned about her and you all like a tidy room. I know she is only nine, but the harsh reality is there. Call up Middle school counselors if there are questions and I am sure they will assure you that you cannot love a child too much. But you are there to protect her. So today you can participate in cleaning for, with however you want to do so and get her used to the idea that you might be in her room for a variety of things the rest of her life. To me it is best to be open about that.
I know hubby thinks its mean but I would rather be mean than find out my child needs to hide things or suffer needlessly over some of the difficult challenges life has. Sometimes those rooms are the only keys to their hearts.