Football!!

Oh this is a tough one. If he were younger I would say let him quit, and if it were a different sport I would say make him stick it out, but football (I'm assuming you're talking about Pop-Warner or something similar) is a whole different animal. The sport (and that league) requires such a ridiculous commitment of time and is so, so physical and the coaches and culture can be pretty nutty (and I say that as a hockey mom LOL!). I can see how and 11 year old who had no idea what he was in for would want to quit.

If I were you, I would make him stick it out through training season, which, if I recall correctly, lasts about 4 weeks. Let him get to the point when the practices slow down to 2 nights a week and let him taste what it's like to be in a game. He may have more fun when the intense conditioning and training period is over. If he still hates it then, I would let him drop it.

At 11, your son may not be able to verbalize the exact reason or he may not be comfortable to tell you the full reason why.

But at 11 he needs to start making 'big' decisions for himself. He will learn about the consequences of his own choice. He may learn that the team was full of kids that he was not compatible with and he may be happy with his choice to remove himself. He may learn that the team turned out to be a lot of fun and he missed out in the end.

Either way, it will be a step into navigating the independence that will soon enough be thrust upon him. I would prefer my kids to start making decisions for themselves at 11, so that when the bigger issues arise and they are required to make them for themselves, they already have some experience. That experience will make them more confident.

There is a great deal of peer pressure at 11 & if your son is able to think independently of the group, I would reward that. That is a vital tool he will need in his 'high school arsenal.' I would want him to know that deciding something outside of the group takes courage and is not 'quitting.' Knowing what is best for yourself and doing that RATHER than following the group is exactly what I am hoping my kids will do.

And, for me, it is more important that my child know I have faith in their ability to choose what is best for them, than it is for my child to play any sport. This is the perfect chance to let your child grow, as now you really risk nothing. But, if you wait to allow him to decide things for himself, you will be dealing with much bigger issues, with much bigger consequences.

Good luck, I am sure you & he will make a great choice!

I agree that you have to find out more about his reasons. Are the coaches verbally abusive? Is there bullying going on? Those require intervention. Is he balking at the huge time commitment? Did he know about that up front? Is it a problem working out in the heat in all that equipment? That's valid - are there sufficient water breaks? Is he not as good as the other players? Is he getting hurt when bigger guys tackle or block?

You'll have to figure this out before you can make a decision about having him quit. In the future, you might look into track or cross country, or both. My son was little, and really enjoyed these. In track, there are a variety of events (sprints, distance, hurdles, etc.) and, if they have field events, things like javelin and high jump. A smaller kid might have trouble with things like shot put, but one kid on our team did very well at that just because he had excellent balance. In any case, the team accepted every kid (no cuts), and the primary competitor is yourself - that is, you run against the clock (or the measuring tape) and try to do better than you did the last time. On a well run team, the top runners whoop and holler for every last kid, and they celebrate when someone has a PR (personal record). It was the greatest experience of our lives to see this camaraderie and spirit. Our son blossomed in this environment and became a champion.

Good luck - it's so hard to see a child upset, but you don't want him to be a quitter (feeling worse about himself, letting the other kids down), nor do you want to torture him!! Try to get to the bottom of it and it will make it easier to decide what's best.

I believe you hav eto trust and respect your son. It sounds like he has demonstrated a committment ot other activities, so trust tha this reasons are valid and don't push. Also, consider this isn't about football.. middleschool, peer issues, coach issues? Don't assume it reflects on his committment but maybe something else, or maybe a lack of enjoyment or skill?? This is a lesson for YOU maybe in validating him :)

I say don't make him! 11 is still young and he is learning his likes and dislikes. if he is forced to continue something he hates, he may be more hesitant to try new things in the future if he thinks that he may be forced to keep up with it even if he hates it. Also if he stops now, he has more free time and may find another activity he likes more. I do agree with asking why he wants to quit, maybe it is something that can be resolved. but if he really hates it, i say let him go. For me, I would actually be relieved if my child didn't want to play football, but I am a worry wart. Just my two cents, I don't have experience with this yet so this is just my gut based on my own childhood. good luck! :)

Although I agree with Cat that sports are for fun, my son played LL baseball last year and wanted to quit. I didn't let him. I asked what made him not like it and he felt he wasn't as good as some of the other kids. That's valid. I told him YOU just play for fun and don't worry what the other kids are doing this is for excersise, being outside and to follow thru. You see, my kiddo can give up too quickly and want to quit something if he isn't good right off the bat. I told him I wanted him to continue the season as I wanted him to follow through on his commitment. Have you asked your son why he is so upset? Is there a particular kid bothering him? I told my sons coach how he was feeling and he made an extra effort to help him out in practice and get him to have more fun. By the end of the season he was so in to the game that we are signing up again this year.

I would definitely find out what exactly he doesn't like, and depending on what he says, look at the schedule and pick a point together (possibly after the first game) by which point if he's still not liking it, he can quit. It has to be something that you work out together and he agrees to -- he's getting to be a big kid, and he needs to feel that his wishes are being respected here. If you force him to continue, then he might be more reluctant to try new things in the future.

I would not make hime continue. Sports are for fun. If he does not have any fun, they why make him go. If he did not like school, then my answer would be to make him continue going to school because it is important. Stuff like that is a good lesson. Stuff that is done just for fun should be just that "fun". Sometime it is a good lesson to teach a child that if something is not right for him/her then maybe they should be doing something else. What if you thought that something looked fun and after a week you hated it, would you want to be forced to continue doing it in your spare time?