My 4 Year Old Wants a Cat, but Is Afraid to Handle It.

Updated on March 16, 2008
R.B. asks from Las Cruces, NM
9 answers

My 4 year old was given a kitten, that she so much wanted. The only problem is that she is terribly afraid of animals. I tell her that it would be best to give it away, but it only upsets her, because she wants to keep it. She wants to see it, and pet it in someone elses arms or in an enclosure, but she doesn't want it anywhere near her physically. What could I do to help her overcome her fear of animals?

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So What Happened?

Hello, everybody! I just wanted to thank everyone that offered their advice. I took every bit of it, into consideration. Unfortunately, I had to make a decision based on what I thought would be best for my daughter. Just recently, the kitten was roaming freely through the house, at my daughters request. When it came too close too her, she totally lost it again, and started crying and hid behind me. I could not bare seeing my daughter so stressed out and uncomfortable. Soon after, we came to an agreement that the kitten would need to be put up for adoption with a family that was more cat orientated. My daughter agreed, and now asks if we can try for a puppy instead. I love my daughter so much, that I will try anything she wants. Wish us luck! If it doesn't work out, my husband and I have decided to just wait until she is older and can feel more in control. Once again, my deepest gratitude for all your help. God Bless You all and Happy Holidays!

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L.M.

answers from Phoenix on

My son is 3, allergic to cats and dogs since he was 10 months old. He loves dogs. But closest thing he's getting to a dog, is stuffed animals.

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D.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I would just give it some more time. She will get used to it. And having a pet will help her get over her fear of animals. My second child was scared of dogs, but liked them from a distance. When they got near he would scream and cry and run to me. We got a puppy about six months ago. Since we got him, my son has slowly gotten over his fear. He now loves dogs. Shadow and Zach are best buds. He actually plays with him more than anyone, and he is always the one that sneaks him into the house after I have put him out. And when we went trick or treating our son was more interested in everyones dogs than getting candy! :) If she really likes the kitty I would say give it some time. If a child is afraid of animals and never has pets they become an adult afraid of animals.

Good Luck!!

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V.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Children sometime pick up fears that we as the adult pass on unknowingly. It may not be the kitten but perhaps you are fearful in other ways of other things. Just a thought.

I also am a Christian woman so I wonder if praying for the kitten with her might relieve her fear so that she can enjoy it on her own terms. This may mean allowing her to enjoy it at a distance until she gets use to it or makes up her own mind that she does not want to keep the kitten. This should include the maintance of it, feeding and watering it. This teaches that anamils are a responsibility. As the parent you may choose to take matters into your own hands at any time.

At this age some children can be fearful of things or situations and it is best not to reinforce the fear by placing too much emphasis on it once you have established that the fear is unfounded. These are just some thoughts and suggestions that might be considered. May God give you wisdom as you work through this situation.

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N.A.

answers from Tucson on

one of my nieces was like this. She wanted, and got, a rabbit but wouldn't feed/pet it at all. It had to be kept in the garage. Unfortuntly I think that you are going tohave to give it away. Ihate to say it but I think it's better the kitten. How does she do with other animals like the neighborhood cats/dogs?? Is she afraid of them as well? I can't offer much help, I have always had animals growing up and my daughter loves animals so I'm not sure how to handle the situation.
Best of luck to you though!!

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B.R.

answers from Tucson on

I think that she will get over that fear very soon. I have a problem or shall I say concern I dont know how to compose an email or blog about myself so I am sorry I am using yours R...

About me....

I am 39. I have a 19 year old, a nine year old and a 2 month old. I had post partum really bad that it made me have heart failure the doctors said it was pregnancy related heart failure. They said not many people survive this and now that I really need life insurance no one does not want to touch it. I really scared I am not going to make it to my daughters 1 birthday. I really scared. Please anyone respond i really need to talk

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

R.-
I think that your daughter will eventually come around. She's only 4 and it's natural for her to be a little scared. I think it's just something she needs to be eased into. If she is okay when someone else holds her, I think it'll just take a little nudge here and there and eventually pet the cat on her own. Other than that, what do you expect? It's not like she should be cleaning the litter box or anything. Living with cats since the day I was born, I've learned that cats are quite self-sufficient and are content to be alone a lot. They'll come to you for affection. I wouldn't worry about this one, everything will work out just fine.

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H.Q.

answers from Great Falls on

I would start out slow. Maybe sit with your daughter on the couch and put the kitten between you. She can then pet it and still be close to you. You can gradually work on trying to get her to hold it.

Also, when it is older, you could think about having the front claws removed. Maybe this would help out. My last cat had her front claws removed. When she got upset, she would "pet" you. It would have been a scratch if there had been claws!

You could also give her a timeframe. Show her a specific date on the calendar. Say something about kitties needing to be held or something and say if she isn't comfortable with kitty by (insert date) then you may need to give the kitty a new home. You can circle the date or something and then put stickers or some mark each day until you get there. Then she can see the days progress. You still have to help her adjust, tho.

Good luck. I already had 2 dogs and a cat when my oldest was born. I think introducing one later would be hard.

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H.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Keep the kitty. Cats are ok with not being "played" with. Just let her be around kitty and help with the care. My girls both love animals and we have lots of them. I think, given time, they will become best buddies!! One more thing, not sure who gave the cat, but you may want to discourage the giving of amimals as gifts in the future unless you ok it in advance..

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H.M.

answers from Phoenix on

We got a big dog when my daughter was five - She was very afraid of it at first because it was so active. It takes time for kids to get used to new things. Now she loves the dog. I think you just have to give your daughter time. Giving the cat away is teaching her to always take the easy way out. The kitten will be fine - they don't need that much attention and a little bit of care from you each day will be enough for the kitten and will show your daughter that you're not afraid of it. After all, you don't want your child to grow up being afraid of animals her whole life.

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