Baby Bug Hitting?

Updated on May 28, 2008
A.D. asks from West River, MD
33 answers

Hi there,
Well, my little princess is about to celebrate her first birthday in less than 2 weeks and I'm so happy and proud and sad...yes, sad. My baby is growing up and it makes my heart ache. I mean, I've actually cried while looking back over her "baby pictures" from when she was a newborn. She has been a wonderful newborn and infant, and motherhood is so much more than I ever thought it would be (I was someone who didn't think they wanted children at all!) It is going WAY too fast! That being said, I think I'm starting to feel that "baby bug" creeping up! Is it normal for this to occur around the 1st birthday???? I think I must be crazy for even THINKING about another baby yet, and I even feel guilty about "cheating" my firstborn with these thoughts. I'm catching myself thinking about it more and more lately. Just wanted to know if any of you have gone through this too! What did you do about it?

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J.W.

answers from New York on

Coming from a mom of three (my last was born 8 months ago) who swore that she wasn't going to have anymore I COMPLETELY understand the baby bug. My first two are 19 months apart (you do the math LOL) so I do believe that part of you starts wanting another around that time. I will tell you it was VERY challenging to have the two girls so close in age. They're both wonderful and older now, 6 and 4 1/2, but for the first year after the second baby was born it was so very hard. Each individual has to pick the age range they want for their children, but this time around has been much more easy going. If you have an excellent support system and lots of help then go for it! Good luck and enjoy that little girl.

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K.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I can totally relate. My son is 14 months and around the same time I started missing my baby. My husband and I are trying again in the fall for the next one. We would try now but I was so sick with the first one I don't want to deal with morning sickness in the summer heat. Many of my friends are feeling the same way no that their first are hitting one too. Only you know if you are ready for the next, but feeling the baby bug is normal.

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K.M.

answers from New York on

I think it's normal. Maybe something to do with hormone. I have 4 kids and first 3 are very close in age, though it happened not because my baby bug but because my body got ready before I started to want another one. One thing I want to let you know is, having 3 kids 1 1/2 yrs apart, it was nice that they played together a lot but I felt that I couldn’t pay enough attention to each kid and I sometimes feel sorry about it. I think it's nice to have children 3 years apart so they learn to take care of younger one and as they get older, they can relate to each other better as friends because the older they get, a few years difference is not a big deal.

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K.G.

answers from New York on

I have to admit the bug only hit me when I got my first who is now 2 1/2, but since than I have a 1 1/2 year old and pregnant due at the end of Oct. These last 2 were not planned but gladly welcomed once I got over the shock. I felt like I was cheating my son (the 1st one) but now that I see him & his sister playing together, hugging & kissing each other. Basically I can't go anywhere with one and not the other. They won't allow it. Point of all of this, close kids are tough for you but wonderful for them. At least I think so :) Good luck what ever you choose and your doing a great job no matter what!

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S.K.

answers from New York on

You are definitely not alone!!! My daughter has also been absolutely wonderful and is now 13 months almost 14 months old. I too am sad that she has grown but happy too to see how far she has come. I still think back to her "baby" months and look back at the pictures more and more. I do have the baby bug I am going to wait a few more months though because I want them to be two years apart or more so I will start because I don't know how quickly it will happen. It was easy the first time but there's no guarantee that it will come as easy. But I know that even if I have another baby I will still look back at her baby months and years and be sad because it will still be "her" baby time that's gone. After all that babbling I guess my point is that its completely normal. Good luck!!!!

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D.D.

answers from New York on

I have had the baby bug MANY times! I have four kids but we have decided that they are enough. Even so...I find myself wishing for another one at times. Don't feel you are cheating your daughter for wanting or having another child. You would be giving her a great gift...a baby brother or sister!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

The baby bug hits any time, any where, when you least expect it and especially when you are over 30 when the body clock starts ticking. It's the Lord's way of keeping the species growing! I think you will probably get the most remarkable response with dozens of women raving about how they miss their teeny little bunnies and feel guilty about displacing them with a new one! It is so PAINFULLY NORMAL! I sit for hours watching movies of my son as an infant and BAWL!

That said, you would probably do well to have another sooner then later while your body and hormones are in the mood. It gets harder to conceive as you get older (although not impossible--read my bio and other responses). If you can afford it and your hubby is also so inclined, it might be a good idea to get rid of the "protection" already and let whatever be. It's nice to have them close in age--playbuddies are great! My son is forever asking me why he doesn't have a sibling and it was because I couldn't. So go for it--you won't "forget" about #1 when #2 arrives--she'll always be #1.

BTW, I'm always thinking about adopting a greyhound--would love to chat about it with you.
A.

D.D.

answers from New York on

It's a personal decission on how close to space your kids. My second daughter was born 2 yrs and 2 months after her older sister and the twins came along when my second daughter was 3 1/2 yrs old; so 4 kids with the oldest being 5 1/2. Hectic household but it was fun.

My grandchildren were born 2/03, 12/04, and 8/06 so very close spacing. Again very hectic household but my daughter figured that it would get easier as they get older. It seems to work out well.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

My son turned 1 on Saturday and I'm 4 months pregnant. So the "baby bug" hit me even earlier than you. If you want more children nows the time. Something to remember, the older you get, sometimes the harder it is to conceive. And the risks of there being complications rises also. So, if there aren't any real reasons to wait, I say go for it. Good luck!!

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

I think that it is VERY common to get the baby bug when your "baby" turns 1. I know that I have been bit twice!! My 3 girls are all about 2 years apart and I love it! I don't think that you would be cheating your first born in fact you would be giving her a gift! My girls love each other and I hope will continue to be best friends!
Blessings, K.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi
When my first child turned one, I knew I wanted more-we always knew we wanted more. However, I did not want to cheat her of her baby/toddler time so we waited a bit to give her the time in her spotlight. My second child was born a week after my first daughter's birthday. Since they are 2 years apart, I feel the timing is good b/c they are buddies-they share toys and can now share clothes!! OF course they bicker but that goes with the territory. Two years is a good span so your first baby doesn't wait too long to learn to share her stuff.
Good luck to you :)

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J.H.

answers from New York on

My son just turned one on April 23rd and my husband and I just starting trying for number 2. We just had this discussion last night that he feels like he is cheating on our first and how could he split his love up. (it was quite sweet). But, we reminded ourselves that we don't want him to grow up an only child and he'll enjoy his siblings alot more if they are close in age. I went back and forth for a couple of weeks, but now that I made the decision, I can't wait to have another baby again. Good luck...

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J.P.

answers from Syracuse on

I had that happen with all of my kids. I have 4 now. My oldest was 9 months when we started trying for our second. He was 22 months old when our next child was born. When baby #2 was 13 months we started trying for #3. He was 26 months old when #3 was born. And when #3 was 20 months we started trying for #4. When #3 was 31 months #4 was born. Now #4 is 13 months old and I have the baby bug. Sadly we are finished having babies. I can't safely have any more children. I would not change the fact that I had them all so close together. There is never a dull moment and someone always has a sibling to play with. The hardest transition was from 1 to 2. All the others were easy transitions. Just ask yourself if you feel ready to handle a new born who will be getting up every 2 hours to eat and a toddler running around during the day. Once #2 comes along you can't nap when they nap because more than likely they won't nap at the same time. Unless you have a lot of help that lives close to you it will be a difficult first 6 months. I remember laying on the couch in my living room, with gates up so that my toddler couldn't escape and the baby sleeping next to me in the pack n play, while I dozed off and on. My toddler watch quite a bit of TV those first couple of weeks that I was home alone with the two of them. I was also recovering from my second c -section too. Now my kids are almost 8, almost 6, almost 4, and 1. I would love to have another baby. Oh well. What ever you decided just feel confident that you will have enough love to go around. Good luck to you!!

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Well, when the baby bug hit...we went ahead and got pregnant again! If you are mentally and physically up to it, why not?! My babies will be 21 months apart. I have one girlfriend who (without trying!) got pregnant when her first baby was only 3 months old! Some women seem very well equipped to handle multiple "babies" at the same time, while others need to have a bigger kid at home before they can tackle another newborn! If you're getting bit, I say go for it. ;-)

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S.R.

answers from New York on

A.,
TOTALLY normal. My kids are 18 months apart (was newly pregnant when my first son turned 1) and it is great! My second son is 8 months and already I am thinking of getting pregnant again! I love having them so close in age and yes, it goes too fast...why not bless your daughter with a sibling she can grow up with? Although I will say, it is very difficult being pregnant and managing a toddler all day, in the end it is worth it. Good luck with your decision!
S.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

Just wanted to say - ME TOO! My daughter is 14 months old and I started feeling the 'baby bug' around 1st birthday as well. I guess I feel like my little baby is not a one anymore - and I'm longing to have that feeling again! The good thing is that it sparked really good discussion between my husband and I about when to start trying again. We were able to mix our feeling of 'baby now' with what's 'practical.'

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M.T.

answers from New York on

A., only you can know the right spacing of children for your family. My daughter had just turned 3 when I started considering another child, mine are 4 years and 6 days apart and the four year difference was perfect for us. If I'd had a third, I would have spaced 4-5 years apart.

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

I was pregnant again when our first was only 7 months old...the kids are 16 months apart and the best of friends...it's hard having them so close in age, when they are young, but so worth it now...they are 4 and 5. Our baby is 1 and I feel like we should have another so she has a buddy close in age - but I'm 40 and done (*sigh*) - boo hoo.

Go for it...your young and it's so worth it - as you already know!!

Best wishes -

J.

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T.S.

answers from Utica on

Your doing fine, and this is normal. I went through it too. My oldest daughter is 10 and her sister is turing 8 in Aug. It's funny how I use to hear about people talk about a women's "clock", but it's so true. Your body is telling you that you are ready to try again, the question is " is your husband LOL". I personaly feel that it is easier to raise children that are closer in age, but that is a like I said a "personal choice." You need to ask yourelf if YOU and your Hubby want anymore children, NOT to have them because "baby's are so cute and cuddly", but children, because unfortunatly they grow up!!! (ha ha). Your NOT "cheating" your first born out of anything by thinking about haveing another, and if you decide to go ahead and have another, you WON"T be cheating her that way either. I still have that "baby bug" biting me every now and again, and I have 2 wonderful daughters and 2 wonderful step kids, AND i had my tubes tied 2 year ago (HA HA), but now my kids are 10, 10, 8(in Aug )and 7, so I am out of the diaper chaning and etc, so now I go and borrow my nephew's, neice's, and friends little ones for the day, and I get to return them back, and sit down and say,"well that took care of that for awhile". Take a deep breath and talk this over with your hubby, together you will be able to see if the time is right to have another one!!! GOOD LUCK, and HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY little one!!!!!!!

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J.M.

answers from New York on

We had ours at 6 months, and now we have two girls who are 15 months apart! lol

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A.J.

answers from New York on

I feel the exact same way...my daughter is turning 1 next month and I find myself constantly thinking about having another baby! I do feel guilty as well because I have always said I wanted to dedicate a few years to her to really experience everything before having another, but now I feel differently. My big change is that she recently quit breastfeeding and is already walking...so she isnt that cuddly infant that relies so much on me anymore...she is becoming independant. It is amazing to watch, but hard to let go. My husband doesnt want another child let alone any time soon, so I have no choice but to put aside my thoughts of another baby. But I can totally relate to your feelings.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

A., I always wanted more than one child. I had four, but spaced them out over 10 years. I feel as if this did away with intense sibling rivalry, because their interests were somewhat different. I always encouraged the sibling relationship, supervising closely when older siblings held the baby, talking about how lucky we were to have a new baby, etc.

D.

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M.H.

answers from New York on

Don't feel bad. I'm due in 7 weeks with my second child and my first turns 2 in August. I also have 2 friends pregnant with their second children and their first are only a year old. In fact one of my friends will have 2 kids that are less than 18 months apart. If you decide to have another soon, then your daughter will have a sibling close in age who hopefully she will be very close with down the road.

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T.C.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

Wow, how did you get in my brain? LOL. My little beauty will be turning one on Sunday (June 1). I look at her and can't even believe that she was all warm and snug on the "inside" this time last year. She started walking at 10 months and everything just seems to go so quickly now! She even got her ears pierced over the weekend. All I keep thinking is "where did my baby go"? I did think about having another one, but I'm in my late thirties, so I think I will settle for grandchildren!

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D.R.

answers from New York on

I couldn't stop laughing when I read this e-mail. I was awake allll last night with "the bug". I was thinking about how my almost 11 month old twins are growing right before my eyes and I can't stand it. I love the new accomplishments and embrace the new stages but truly miss the itty bitty babies they were. BUT... I have twins!! What am I thinking?? My husband and I have had this conversation many times and planned on waiting until they were around 2 to start trying. I think part of it is fear for me b/c I had difficulty getting pregnant and am afraid to wait too long in case it takes awhile agian. However, I really want to enjoy them now. Especially that there are 2 to enjoy! Someone said to me once that being a mom is constant joy and constant mourning (something like that anyway) It's so true. We look forward to all the milestones but miss the phases that pass. My husband and I have also talked about "cheating" on our babies. We felt guilty when we got DOG #2!! But they love eachother now (lol). I have 2 siblings...my older sister and I are almost 6 years apart and my younger brother and I are 3 years apart. My brother and I are closer b/c we went through phases nearly the same time. My sister was old enough to "resent" the baby (me) and still at 35 says me and my brother ruined her life!! :) In my own experience the 3 year difference was good. My brother and I were best friends in high school and we are still very close at this time. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide. Enjoy her first birthday!!
Danielle

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M.F.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
I completely understand! My little girl will be 1 the first week of June, and yesterday while at a memorial day parade we kept running into people with newborns and I couldn't believe how badly seeing these little babies made me want another. We knew we wanted more kids and knew we didn't want to space them too far apart so we will definately be trying to get pregnant again soon. Don't feel like your cheating on your little one, you will be providing her a playmate and friend for life if you decide to have any more!
Best of Luck,

M.

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R.T.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi A.

I had the same feelings when each of my children reached the first birthday milestone. You're coming to the realization that your baby isn't an infant any longer but growing up. Don't be sad about it! And don't be afraid of having another baby either if that's what you really want. My husband and I have four children, all about 2 years and a couple months apart. For us, the age span works well. Each child had a chance to be the baby for a while but they weren't so old that they resented the new baby in the family.

So many people over the years have said to enjoy my children while they're young and it's true, it does fly by so quickly. Now my children are 13, almost 11, 8 & 6 and I get my 'baby fix' by helping other moms with their babies when I can.

One last thing -- don't get so caught up in looking back and missing that infant that you actually miss out on the wonderful things your baby girl is doing now! Each age has its wonders and delights!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

isnt it crazy how fast it goes:( if you want another have it. your daughter will not suffer in the least.
me personally did 3 yrs apart. i loved doing things with my first- and must tell you there is a lot more mommy and me things with a 1 1/2 yr old too- going to the park, the library, amusements, zoo, aquariums. you still have lots of firsts coming up. i wanted more kids but new this would be the only time i had one on one time, so i waited to cherish our excursions, and do all the mommy classes, beaches, day trips, ect. i feel pretty sick when pregnant so i knew i wouldnt be able to do as much during those 9 months.
now i have my 4 month old, my 3 yr old is almost potty trained, no jealousy, loves her little sister, and tries to help me lots. the transition is wonderful. also, i didnt want my baby days ending too soon so wanted to spread it out.
that being said, other moms like them close, they like the siblings being close, and want to get the baby stage over with. then someone like you loves babies so much and cant wait to hold another. there is no wrong time to have a baby when it is wanted, will be loved, and you can provide. there are pros and cons to each, just do what you think will work, but you have lots and lots of good stuff coming up with your daughter, so enjoy!

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K.P.

answers from Albany on

I have 3 children and the baby bug bit me 2x! Don't feel guilty about your feelings! Siblings close in age are awesome. Crazy but good. BTW -- #3 is 2 now -- the bug is not biting!!

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M.K.

answers from New York on

It is SO normal! I teach prenatal and mom & baby yoga and I'm around a LOT of moms. If you don't feel the pang for a new baby at the first birthday, then you're either done or it will hit at age two.

I have two beautiful children, a girl and a boy. When my daughter turned one, I started "bugging" for another. We got pregnant really quickly once we started trying (they are 2 years 3 months apart). Now we both feel done. Though at my son's second birthday, I felt all those pangs again. I did come to my senses though. I am not prepared to have a third and have no plans to.

Just knowing you want another might be enough and you can ward off the itch until you and your husband...and daughter are ready.

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N.K.

answers from New York on

I have 5 and the bug always hit somewhere around the first birthday. My last one turns 2 in 2 weeks and I have had the bug on and off for a year but know that our house is full with enough love and craziness!! There are pros and cons off having them close together. My first 3 are boys and are 18 and 21 months apart. The last 2 are girsl and are 3 years apart. The pros of having them close are they will always have a playdate and have so much in common. It has been a joy to watch the boys ( now 11, 10 , 9 ) grow up together and share so many interests. The girls are 3 years apart( almost 2 and almost 5). It was nice to have a little break but they still share so much together . Life is hectic with everyone so close but I wouldn't trade it for anything! Is you are thinking of it , I say go for it!! Good Luck!

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E.S.

answers from Richmond on

A.,
Dont feel quilty about wanting another little one. I have 5 (almost 10, almost 6, 4.5, 3 next montth and my baby turned 1 last week), being a mom is the best job in the world and having a sibling for your daughter is a very good thing. It will help teach her the life it not always fair and we do have to share even when we dont want to!!! My 1st 2 are 4 years apart and their birthdays are a week apart in July and I was afraid my oldest was going to have major issues with when her younger sister was born but this not been the case, yes there are times when she will say "if only I didnt have younger brothers and sisters" but for the most part she is fine with the younger ones. I have to remind myself often that she is older and should not always be expected to do what the younger ones are doing. Adding another to your family is crazy but wonderful! After having my last 4 so close together I would highly recommend trying to have a 2 year age gap between the 1st and the second. They are alittle older and can understand more thatn when they are 18 months or less, it makes it easier to bring home the next one when the 1st is alittle older and alittle more independent. Good luck and yes, you are right, they grow up way too fast!!! Enjoy every moment you possible can have with her!

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F.C.

answers from New York on

if your body is ready and you feel the baby lust, go for it! its not crazy, but remember every age is incredible and from 1 yr old to around 3 or 4, she will need you...to help her be the best she can be. so if you feel any "cheating her out of your companionship" thats worth listening to as well. ypu could try in 6 months. you may find new things to love about your princess as she can speak and interact with you more.

i'm all for listening to intuition and weighing the pros + cons.
will your husband be around to help with newborn or princess?

i love kids (am due with my second this fall) and my first just turned 2. and we have a strong bond i hate to lose when baby is born...so im gald at leats she will be 2.5 and have her own friends and not fel as deprived of me as she would be if she's younger.

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