My husband and I have a daughter who will be 4 next month and a son that is 21 mo. We would love to have four children. We have always said we would wait to have the next two until our first two are in school. We had a pregnancy scare about a month ago. I was postive I was pregnant. Well I wasn't, and I was suprised that we were both upset that I wasn't. We have been talking about having another baby soon. I am so excited but nervous. I didn't think I would be ready for another baby so soon. I can't explain it just feels like now is the right time. I am big into having everything planned out and the fact that this isn't what I planned scares me. I don't want to freak out when I get pregnant and wish I would have waited. Ahh! Advise Please.............
After lots of talking and praying about it my husband and I both feel good about our decision to start trying for baby #3 in a month. We are going to be moving by my family because of my husbands job so I will have their help and support. I realized the other day after watching my kids play together that I want my children close in age. It is awesome to see the love that they have for each other even though their so young. I hope we are blessed with another little one soon to share that love with.
What about adoption? That way, you can help a small child and give them a wonderful home, and not have to worry about planning another pregnancy.
You already have one child to replace each of you and if you're financially steady and ready to have another, adoption is a loving way to go.
We are on the 3 year plan. :-) After our latest birthday this year we will have a 9 yr, 6 yr, 3yr, and approx 3 month old...
It works for us. But its really what works for YOU. Our older 2 are in school, I have alone time with our almost 3 yr old, and he will beable to play with baby for almost 2 years (aka bonding)...
The older 2 are old enough to help out around the house and help occupy the younger one when baby does come.
Some say that the more you have is more expensive. lol Only if you get rid of everything you had from the other kids... I have totes in the basement of clothes that cover all ages and sizes. Plus all the gear. I nurse the babys for the first year. So for us the only EXPENSE is diapers... Since we have the kids approx around potty training time of the next oldest there is very little over lap of having 2 kids in diapers.
Relax and don't worry... Its not like you pee on a stick and violia the baby is laying there... You have 9 months to prepare... And we all freak out a bit when that test comes back positive... Its the What IFS...
My older sister and I are 1 yr 9 mo. apart (we fought like cats and dogs growing up)... My other siblings are 6 yrs, 9 yrs, 16 yrs YOUNGER than me... It is really like having multiple families. My youngest sibling is more like my child (he's 14 this year)... But even with the age spread we are a VERY close family... What ever happens will be for the best.
My husband and I are currently debating the same thing - the only difference is that I want a 3rd, and he isn't sure.
Our son will be 4 in June, our daughter will be 2 next weekend. I was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks after her birth, so there are many, many factors that play into this. Part of me is worried that the pregnancy caused the cancer (I've been told by several experts that it did not), and I'm worried about bringing another child into the world who may have to face losing a mother early if my cancer returns (as my treatment options are limited to a stem cell transplant).
Good luck with your decision. Trust your instincts.
Baby fever much? lol Well if you think its the right time and your husband agrees then more power to you! but just make sure you think about the future and how the new baby will play the role in your house because it can get a little hectic with toddlers, babys and newborns, so just make sure it is what you want.
Hope it helped:)
<3 L.
I have 3 kids and my husband and I are finished now. Our first 2 boys only have 21 months between them in age. I just had our daughter 7 weeks ago. My boys are 5 and 3 1/2 and it works really nicely. I have been havin a couple behavior issues with my youngest son (now the middle child), I think he got so used to being the "baby" that it is hard for him to not be anymore. But the age thing is nice because him and his brother can go play and keep each other entertained, and when the baby is sleeping or in her bouncer I will sit and play a board game with them and everyone is happy. You need to think about all the ages... If you wait 3-4 years between all the kids, then your oldest is going to be a teenager when you finally have your 4th child... are you sure you want that big of an age gap? I was 17 when my mother had her last baby and it was weird...
When are we ever REALLY ready for another one! LOL! Whenever the timing happens it will be right. And, even if YOU decided when, it still might not happen, only if God will's it. But I'd say since your kids are almost 2 years apart, having one in 9 months will put them almost evenly spaced.
But I'd say don't wait too long, otherwise you may have some tailing behind when they get older, especially the last one... My older 2 didn't start playing with my 3rd until about a year ago, and even now exclude him sometimes. They are 15 1/2 months apart, whereas oldest to #3 are 3 years apart, and #2 to #3 are 2 years apart, and then my babe is 6 years younger than the oldest. (you can do the math for the rest if you want to!) Soooo... if you wait like my older sister did, and have another one when the oldest is a teenager, then presto! Babysitter lol! :D
Have fun!!! ;D lol
I have 3 boys, 3 and under and I'll tell ya....the third baby is a breeze! And he is such a joy! (not that the other two aren't, but there is something about #3 that is so carefree and easy-going - maybe it's just my attitude regarding motherhood the third time around reflecting on him?!)
I had a hard time in my transition from 1-2 kids, so I cried when I found out I was pregnant (by surprise) with my third. But it's been awesome. Yes, it's been crazy and busy and I have more laundry than I can almost ever keep up with.....but. I love it! It has made me a more spontaneous person, it has taught me to go with the flow of things, and to let.some.things.go.
It's been nice to not have gotten out of the baby-mode and had to "start over", for me personally.
You'll be blessed - even if things don't go exactly according to plan, I promise! :)
I had three children under 5. The advantage is that you are in the "kid" mode and keep up on opportunities they have. It is crazy at times, but there are definite advantages. When your oldest is practicing the times tables, the other two will learn by being there, etc. You never have enough time or money or energy. I think waiting and having the older child responsible for the younger ones is unfair to the child. When they are close, they are all in it together. Enjoy the differences of each child.
Hey H.,
My hubby and I had the same plans. However, when we started trying again I did get pregnant but ended up losing the baby. Now we are having trouble getting preggers again. I'm still young, only 28 but I wish we would have tried for two more when my girls were still younger.
A great upside to having all four so close would be that they would all be grown around the same time leaving you and your hubby more time to enjoy retirement...and grand-babies!
My little sis-in-law is 9 years apart from us and she doesn't have much of a relationship with my husband or my other sis-in-law who is our age. Just another thing to think about.
Either way you go, a baby is a blessing and I wish you all the best.
Ok this is my theroy. Dont go more than 4 years. Mine are 2 yrs to 2 and 6months apart. We are on baby number 5. I have had 10 miscarrages in between them. I also want to say its not going to happen in a link of an eye. You need to be able to allow your body and time to concieve so I would start trying. Plus if you are birth control it take 3 month for it to leave your system and than another three to have your body adjust. Also you will be pregnant for 9 months before that baby comes so. I would start as soon as you guys can.
How will another child will affect the two you have? If their lives will be negatively affected in terms of their physical or emotional well-being, and that impact will be less if you wait, then I'd say wait awhile. If you have the finances, health, time, emotional energy, and space, then now should be as good as later.
My advice - wait. Your children are still very small and I think having another one now is going to push your 21 month old into growing up too fast. There's a huge difference between two and three children - I know, I have three - and when I have seen families with three children under five they always seem very fraught. You are so lucky to have two healthy children - enjoy them while they are small and don't rush. My kids are very spread out - two teenagers and a 6-year-old - and it is so wonderful having a small child, we really appreciate it. You have more patience as you get older - really! - and every stage is interesting, not just the baby phase. Good luck - Alison
I am the baby of my family. Three girls. In 30 months. I repeat, 3 girls in 30 months. I am in my 50's so this was back when you washed cloth diapers. My mom was washing 5 dozen a night! But - we are SO close now. Not back then. Fought like cats and dogs. She gets more than me, you spoil her too much, etc. My two older sisters are my BEST friends. We still have heatd arguments but we are quick to apologize and quick to move on. I told my mom last year that I would not have had me. Three kids in 30 months!?! Are you crazy! Well - I was not expected either but I was deeply loved. If you and your husband feel it is the right time and you can afford it - go for it!
Have one now. Why wait. It's fun when they are close together. I had #1 and #2 on the same day. I also had #3 and #4 on the same day a few years later. They are really close in age. Haha
Hi,
I think the biggest question is, can you afford another child?? My daughter just turned four in Feb and my son will be three in July and everyone keeps telling us that we should have at least two more. The problem with that is we do not have the money in this economy and I really do not want to go back to pampers again! lol, So, I think you guys should do what is best for you and just make sure that you are positive about what you want. I say write the pros and cons of having a child within the next nine months. See if it would be better to wait, or if right now is the right time. I hope this helps! Good luck......
