Self-conscious Behavior in 11 Yo Girl

have her wear a undershirt tank top that will secure everything as she tends to pull the outter shirt. my daughter has nervous habits too......it drives me crazy. I have nagged and tried to control it so much over the years and it just makes it worse on me and her hearing me nag. So as much as I want to tell you too stop nagging her and telling her to stop and have the manners ..... it has been difficult for me to even do that. So I continue on and on and on not knowing how to make her stop. So instead, if she has a undershirt or something that keeps the package in..... the pulling of the shirt will just be an annoying issue but nothing will be seen.
I am sorry I have no other advice for you. :0(

*** Wonder if we video tape them and the behavior, they can see it and maybe they will stop ????/ hmmmmmmmm

My daughter (11 in a couple of weeks) does something similar to hide her chest. She doesn't pull at her shirt, but she walks around with her arms crossed (which makes her look like she's pi$$ed off) or kinda around her waist and hunching her back or arms bent up so her hands kinda hang out right at her chest area (which makes her look like a hamster). She looks strange and uncomfortable in all three positions and I've told her again and again that she looks fine, she doesn't need to hide herself, she's bringing MORE attention to herself by her strange poses, but she can't seem to stop herself from trying to hide her chest.

She IS a bit more developed than other girls in her grade, so I'm hoping that as they all catch up, she sees that she's not really any different and will accept her new form . I don't want her flaunting her curves, of course, I just want her to be happy with what she naturally has.

I hope you get some good ideas here, because I could sure use them, too.

The best way to redirect a bad/nervous habit like that, is to teach her other things to do with her hands when she is feeling self conscious.

Have you asked her if her bras are comfortable? Yes, it's pretty normal for girls this age to be self-conscious and do things like she's doing thinking it hides them a bit (when it doesn't), but the problem also could stem from having less than ideal bras. She may not even realize that her bras aren't a great fit anymore unless you bring it up; she might say they're fine because the whole topic makes her self-conscious, but see if she's open to having some alone time with you to have her try them on and ask her is this strap too tight, is this band around your chest too loose, etc. You might find that she is ready for a different style, too -- my daughter pulls at her bra when she's wearing anything other than a very soft sports-style bra so we made a switch. Your daughter wears these but might need a different type. Just a thought. She might also appreciate your wanting to help her, if she has been feeling the bras "just don't feel right" but has been too self-conscious to bring it up on her own.