3Rd Grader with Training Bra?

Updated on May 16, 2011
K.B. asks from Dulles, VA
26 answers

What age to start? At least 3 have them out of 10. It seems young. She does NOT want one.

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Thanks moms.

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answers from New York on

Depends on how developed she is. If she is too small to fit a real bra then maybe an undershirt or sports bra is enough for now. I definitely remember some girls in elementary school who needed a bra for a long time before they got one. If you have a kid that is a B or C cup and still bouncing around in just a t-shirt they will get some unwelcome attention.

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answers from San Francisco on

My daughter, who is in 3rd grade, got a bra this year for comfort and also because she was starting to develop. The bra is a thin one and helps "smooth" her so her breasts aren't as obvious. I can't remember how we decided she needed one - I think I suggested it.

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answers from Dallas on

If she physically needs one, 3rd grade is not too early. If she doesn't need one, it's too early. Start when she needs one, and feels modesty is an issue.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I would think when they have something to "train" is the right time! LOL

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answers from Chicago on

I teach third grade and you'd be surprised at the amount of girls starting to develop early these days. I think if a young girl is starting to develop and there is a possibility of seeing through her shirt, a training bra is the right thing to do. This is on of those things that depends on maturity and development, not age. Some girls will need them young, others won't need anything for many years. When my lil girl starts to develop I will be sure to get her a training bra and teach her modesty and it will not be age dependent, rather dependent on her development.

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answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

If she doesn't want one, then don't get her one. My daughter had a "training" bra the summer after 2nd grade (7yr old) because she needed one. It actually wasn't a 'training' bra, because that term insinuates that it only serves the purpose of getting the girl used to the bra. My daughter had a padded sports bra because she was getting teased at school and was 'showing' through her t-shirts. I am having a hard time fitting her in bras that aren't adult bras now and she is only 10 - will be 11 in August.

Unless she decides she wants one - for whatever reason - I don't think there is a need, unless she looks inappropriate without it.

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answers from Minneapolis on

My third grader now owns a couple of cotton camisole/bralettes. This came about because she was trying on tops and some "showed through". She wasn't happy at first about my suggestion, but then tried some on and agreed. She doesn't wear them very often, but under some tops, it's a good idea. The stretchy comfortable cotton ones, I think, are good for young girls to get used to wearing.

I don't think this is about "wanting" one, but who kinda needs one. My daughter is big for just-turned 9, 80+ lbs and 57", wears a size 14, and is starting to develop breasts. I didn't own a bra, even a stretch cotton one, until I was 14 and then didn't really need one.

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answers from Provo on

Totally with Denise. Why make her grow up faster is A. She isn't ready for it physically. 2. Isn't wanting one emotionally.
No point. It would probably sit in drawer.
Plus I would just skip the trainers, and just go with a sports bra. That's what I had and it worked well.

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answers from Youngstown on

I wanted a training bra in fourth grade because my friend had one. I absolutly didn't need one but I begged for months and my mom finally bought me one. I hated it..lol I still hate bras but now after 3 kids NEED one..oh the good old days when I didn't need a bra! Just wait for her to want one or when she starts developing I guess. I have 3 boys so I won't have to go through this.

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answers from Joplin on

My daughter is very petite and can get away with an "undershirt" Unless mine has a growth spurt this summer she will be wearing under shirts next year as well.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I was wearing a regular bra in the first grade. Sadly I never got to do the training bra stage. There's a difference between not wanting one but needing one. If she needs one (like if her nipples show through a white shirt, or she does have enough that is noticable..like a jiggle) try a sports bra or a tank top thats form fitting (it keeps them in place and its just a tank).
If she absolutely has nothing and doesn't need one, then don't force it.
Hope this helps.

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answers from Birmingham on

When she wants one, it's time. Our daughter didn't need one at that age either, but majority in her class were wearing one and it made her feel a little embarrassed to not. We went bra shopping and found some cute ones for her and she loved wearing them. Once she "needs" one, even if she doesn't want to wear it, then it's time regardless but you probably won't have that as an issue.

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answers from Cleveland on

It all depends on if her body is ready. I HAD to have a training bra in the third grade, and I was the only girl with one. Most of the other girls didn't get them until the fifth grade. If she is starting to develop and needs one, then
get her one. If she doesn't need one, and doesn't want one, then don't torture her before it's necessary! ;)

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answers from Columbia on

Every girl is different. If there is a modesty issue I would get something. If it an issue of some of the girls wearing one and she isn't ready I would just wait until she needs one and is ready. Answered this slightly differently before I went back and read that she doesn't want one! My daughter wanted one when some of the other girls got them and then hated how it felt. When it got to be time that she needed one we did stages to get her used to having something like that on. Undershirt, short tank-like sports bra, official training bra with hooks and everything. These poor girls hit this all so early now!

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answers from Los Angeles on

When I was a kid, my friend hit puberty pretty early; she was nine when she got her first period and needed a training bra earlier than most girls. There are some girls who start developing at that age, so as long as it's because they need it, it's not too young. If it's just to feel "grown-up" then I don't agree with it, but I can see that there would be girls who need it for practical purposes.

It does seem young, though, doesn't it? My daughter will be in third grade next year; I'm not ready to think about training bras for her yet! I'm still getting over the fact that she's not a baby anymore. :-)

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answers from Chattanooga on

Ah ha ha! This reminds me when I was in 3rd grade... my 2 best friends actually NEEDED them, and I didn't... (I didn't need one till I hit high school.. how sad is that?) BUT I remember sitting in one corner of the playground and they veery seriously told me that I needed to start wearing a bra. (They thought all girls were supposed to... not just girls with boobs...) so I snuck into my older step-sister's drawer and stole one of her bras, wore it to school the next day. Luckily, she wasn't all to 'endowed' so it wasn't that horrible. XD After that I got a couple of training bras of my own... but only wore them maybe once a month or so up until I actually started needing real ones.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Really, who "likes" wearing a bra???? No one does but when it comes right down to it if modesty is an issue then someone needs to have a frank talk with her and tell her that her breasts are developing and she needs to either wear a tank top under her clothes to cover up or conceal her budding breasts. She doesn't want to suddenly realize you can see her nipples or breast shapes through her clothes.

I understand not wanting to wear a bra. I only wear one when I am going out of the house. It comes right off when I get home.

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answers from Austin on

I got mine when I was in 3rd grade. I had some rubbing and soreness. I was 8. Many of the girls in my class had them by that time also..

Our daughter liked camisoles and undershirts better, but she also wore them in 3rd grade because she needed them.


answers from Jacksonville on

If she needs one, she needs one. If not, don't make her. By 3rd grade I was a B cup so I don't think it's unusual. Training bras always crack me up anyways, what are you training for? Bras are not that cool or that comfy. I would just wait until she needs one and then get a regular one. If she needs a little coverage or is concerned about modesty, she can wear little tank tops or camisoles under her shirts.



answers from Charlotte on

The age to start is when she needs one and when she wants one. When I was in 5th grade, one girl in the class was skinny, skinny. She had NO breast tissue, but she had nipple "buds". One of the boys teased her over and over about them. The only way to cover those buds in the hot late spring weather was to get a training bra.

These days, that boy would have been in a lot of trouble for teasing her. They let things like that go back then.




answers from Baton Rouge on

The time to get a girl a bra is when she starts developing breasts, regardless of whether you think she's "too young." My daughter started having periods and developing breasts at 9, so I got her pads, tampons, and bras at 9. It's not like puberty was going to go away if we ignored it.


answers from Houston on

My daughter is in second grade and i started to notice hair on her legs. i got her a training bra just to try it out at home. Kids start earlier these days, as long as she knows she cant wear the bra out, or to school before the breasts come it, its harmless and lets face it, she will need one one day soon anyway.

time flies

*****ahhh ! im reading some of these responses, poking through the shirt, sensitivity, chafing, im so not ready for my baby to grow up, just saying....:)


answers from Dallas on

If she does not want one, I would not worrry about it unless she needs one.

I see some 1st graders where I sub that could certainly benefit from using one.

Just keep all the lines of communication wide open so she feels comfortable enough to talk to you.



answers from Atlanta on

If she doesn't want one, I don't see why anyone would force the issue. I don't think it seems too young. At that age, I was already wearing a B cup. Personally, I don't get the point of a training bra. If you need a bra, get a normal bra....if not, why bother?



answers from Minneapolis on

As long as she isn't already very developed, if she does not want one, I definitely would not force it at this age. Soon enough, she really will need one. Let her just enjoy being a young kid as long as she can. I remember HATING the day my Mom forced me to start wearing bras, and I was in 6th grade and probably did need one, but still. You can find more modest tops that naturally hide breast buds. My daughters have some really cute wide strap tank tops with some ruffles around the bust line from Justice. Even my 11.5 year old would look perfectly modest in them with no bra. My 3rd grader loves the cami tops from Justice just for the look of a fashion layer. But it also gives just a little extra coverage without being a real bra. Shop around. Avoid plain light color shirts. Busy patterns and darker colors work well. Go for swimwear that has just a little light padding on the top.



answers from Salt Lake City on

I got my daughter one when I could see "poking" under her shirt, and she was starting to rub at her chest. I think she was partway through 4th, and she's the "old" end of her class (Sep birthday). We finally had to "upgrade" to a real bra this last winter, mid 6th.

But if she doesn't want one, don't bother with it yet. Most girls don't start developing enough to need anything until at least 4th, and even 5th grade. She has many, many years to be wearing one, don't rush her into it.

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