My Three Year Old Strange Behavior.

Sounds to me like she's not ready for school. I didn't send my son until he was 5 (He's an August baby) - because I knew he was a "Mama's" boy. He cried for 5 minutes the 1st day and was great after that.

They are only little for so long - keep her with you, and don't buy into the whole idea that you have to send a kid to school at 3 so that they get used to it. If you need a sanity a break, find a play group, art or music class to take together. You'll both get much more out of something like that then struggling with separation.

Hi S. - I think my opinion may be a little different. I have two children one who will be 4 tomorrow and the other is 21 months. I have worked part time since becoming a mom, but it was mainly third shift so as far as the kids were concerned I was a stay at home mom. For the past year I have worked from home so again they are with me constantly. My daughter who will be 4 tomorrow started going through seperation anxiety at about one year of age. We only noticed this because we go to church consistently and it was the only time she was not with me. The min we walked in the door to the church she would start screaming! Acouple of times I was even asked to come get her and to keep her throughout the service because she would not stop screaming and she was making the other kids scream as well. So long story short my husband stayed home with her through this time and I went alone. This went on for about a year. When she was two we took her back and it took about a month of taking her every weekend before she finally calmed down enough to stay through an entire service now two years later she loves church and preschool, she is in her second year of preschool now.

When my son turned one, he began having the exact same issue. So we went back to daddy stays at home while mommy and DD went to church. However, my daughters preschool teacher from last year sat me down and told me I was not doing anyone any good by keeping him home. He was in no way being harmed by being made to stay in class and if I would just commit to brining him every week to the same service (we have four servies) he would be just fine and would begin to calm down enough to stay through the service and eventually get to the point of wanting to go! And sure enough after one month of taking him every Sunday to the same serice he now runs into the room all by himself and doesn't look back to wave goodbye or blow me a kiss...which strangley enough I am ok with. My point is that if your daughter has NEVER been away from you this is going to be REALLY hard and very taxing on you both. But I highly doubt it means she is not ready. And at three it may take her longer to get over her seperation anxiety then it did my children who both got over it much earlier.

I would suggest that she be moved to a different classroom. It will not help to have you there. Talk to the teachers and find the one who is willing to be calm and patient and understanding. I absolutely LOVE the teachers in our preschool because I have watched them with the kids and they are ever so patient and caring and always reassure the parent. If you run into a teacher who wants you to remove your daughter, find another teacher! Preschool is really very benifical and it may take some time, but your daughter will be okay. You are not harming her, it honestly will hurt you more than it will hurt her.

Good luck! I know this is not an easy time, but you will make it through!

Hi S.,
She really may not be ready but she also may need a little practice on her own. I really liked the suggestions to try and leave her with family or a friend for a little while to start her out. You need some you time too and she may need practice being away from mom and seeing that mom comes back.

There is such a thing as too much time with mom, you both need time away to grow and gain some of that independence.
Anyway best wishes
H.

Sounds like she's just too young. Having an older sibling doesn't help the younger ones mature any faster, contrary to popular opinion. They may reach milestones faster, but social anxieties will only get better with time. Having you in the room is probably making it worse because she is reminded that you can't play with her every time she sees you. Personally, I would take her out of preschool and put her back into a nursery setting, not in the same room as mom.
~L.

I had a 3 year old granddaughter with the same problem after two weeks without mom in the room she was fine and made friends don;t go with her it is to much like home where you are let her find friends and be herself with out you there . you will see an improvement in about two weeks and she will love pre school.. Good Luck

I think that at 3 it is probably a little intimidating to her. There is nothing wrong with waiting until she is a bit older to send her. When we got ready to send my son to kindergarten they kept stressing that if they had a July or August birthday that they be held back. I think it is all on the maturity of the child and we had a boy who was four in my son's preschool and I think they were sending him for two years.

Hi S.,
I agree with the other moms. I would take her out of school. She isn't ready yet. I didn't send my son at that age. Some kids it's fine but they are still so little. They grow up a lot in a year. If you still want to help out your son's class I would leave her with a grandparent or friend she knows. That way she can learn to be away from you a little bit at a time. My oldest son was very clingy and just this past year has become very independant. He is now 4 and started preschool this year. He had no problems with seperation anxiety. Good luck. It can be hard.
Chris

This is something I have thankfully never had to encounter. My son loves everyone, and I have never had a problem leaving him with anyone. In fact most of the time he asks if I am gone yet. My suggestion would be to NOT work in the day care. I know your son enjoys it- mine loves that I come to his school too, but, your daughter has got to get used to you not being with her 24/7, and she isn't going to be able to do that if you are working in the preschool she is at. It won't take her long to realize you will be back to get her.

I know this is going to be hard to hear, but can you volunteer in a different classroom or take some time off from volunteering? I have been an Early Childhood Special Education teacher for 5 years. I am staying home with my 2 little ones for the first time this fall. I used to teach preschool, so I know how difficult it is as the teacher to compete with the parents. You are the best teacher your child can ever have and will always be wanted while you are there. It is confusing to the child why you leave some times and are there other times. Kids do the best with consistency, so I would suggest not volunteering in the classroom for a while and letting your daughter get adjusted. She would probably accept you being there and play with others at the same time more around Christmas. Preschool teachers always need help with prep work. Perhaps you could volunteer with things you could do outside of the classroom. Prepare the next days art project? Find certain books at the library? Help organize parties or make things for the classroom? It depends on the teacher, but there is always clean up and organization or prep work to do after the kids leave. Would the teacher appreciate you sticking around to help for 30 min. or so after the school day is done? Be sure to ask, that time can be very vital to a teacher. This type of behavior is very common, so don't worry. Trust your teachers and give it some time. Good luck!

I agree with everyone else. She is not ready yet. Start slowly. Do you ever leave her in your home with relatives? Try this, then a sitter, then maybe she'll be ready for preschool in a year or so.

Don't regret being a SAHM, in my opinion it is the best thing for them!!!

I agree. She is probably not ready yet. And that's okay!