I am sending you a great big hug and peace. This is so hard to read.
You need to do what she wants. If you try to contact her, you are perpetuating, the fact that you do not listen to her.
For whatever reason, she felt she needed to be able to go through school without you. It may be that it will be even more years till she is ready to grow up and realize that nobody is perfect, even her mother.
When I got married I realized how hard marriage is. When I was working towards higher management, I realized how stressful and how much energy that took, when I had a child it REALLY hit me that my parents, who I knew were not perfect, had done their best with the tools that they had. They were a product of their own parents.
I guess what I am saying that at some point your daughter will probably realize, that you love her, you want to be part of her life and she will want to contact you again. It takes maturity and she is not there yet. She is emotionally the age of her first big traumatic incident from what I read here, that means she is about 12. Let her have her fit, her hurt feelings, and let her heal herself.
Write her letters. Date them seal them and save them. When she is ready you can give them to her. Honor her wishes, she has told you in many ways this is what she wants from you.