Help! Afraid of Putting My "Needy" Infant into Daycare.

M.,

Nannies are a great way for your child to get the attention that she needs & it may be more comfortable if she is at home instead of a daycare. I have a nanny that I share with another family & it has worked well. She either comes to my house or the other family depending on our schedule. It may take some time to find a reliable nanny but ask around with all your friends & family. Check with colleges for students studying child education. It has worked well for my family. Good luck!

I would focus your search on an in home daycare that deals with primarily infants and toddlers. The care taker will likely have a lot of eexperience with different types of children who have been needy in the past ect. This suggestion comes from my experience. Our daycare provider is infant and toddler only. In the time I've had my kids there, I've seen several different infants come in all needy in their own way and using her experience she was able to help them enough that everything worked out. Of course the kids still have thier issues, but they've adjusted well.

We were recenlty in a similar situation. I went back to work five weeks after my second was born and I couldn't handle it if my sweet little baby girl was left to "cry it out" becuase a provider was too busy with the other kids. She would only stop crying if she was held, and sometimes not even then. So, I put an add on Craig's List and found a SAHM with a 10 month old girl who is now our nanny in our home. I offered the same pay that we would be paying at an in home licensed daycare and received more than 30 replies- I was amazed. I got to interview several great ladies who wanted the job and felt really comfortable with the entire process. So now I don't have to pack the kids up and I know my girls are getting far more attention than they possibly could in a daycare. Good luck!

Hi there,
My son was also super fussy when he was younger--he's now 9 months old and a pretty happy guy! We were able to find an in-home daycare, and our provider only takes 1 infant at a time-- 4 children total. So, she was able to give our little guy the holding, rocking, walking, etc. that he needed. He did wonderfully with her! In fact, you may be surprised at how well your daughter will do in a different environment and with a different person. So, I would recommend finding an in-home, caring and patient provider, who's willing to work with a fussy infant. Be upfront with the fact that your daughter is a bit more fussy. It will only make everything easier. Good luck!

My son was like this, and the good news is that he wasn't kicked out of daycare. At 3 months, we started sending him to a wonderful Montessori school where they have been very willing to work through any problems. That said, we were on the verge of being expelled when he was 5 months old because he was so overly fussy. Fortunately, everyone hung in there and the situation gradually improved. Everyone is different, but he wasn't a happy child until well after he was a year old.

If I could do it over, I would expect less of him (as far as being able to do daycare) and would have stayed home with him a few months longer. If you are going to do daycare, I would recommend a setting where there is more than one person to care for her. If she is as frustrating as my DS was, you'll want to make sure that the care provider can walk away from the situation when needed and that there is another person in the room to prevent maltreatment. The school where my son goes has an open half door on the infant room. Kids, parents, and teachers are always looking in at the babies. In my opinion, this helps to keep everyone on their toes. There are also lots of other people around to jump in and help out in a tough situation.

Once my DS was able to do more things independently (ie. crawl, walk, feed himself, talk) his general mood improved. I also think my DS had reflux issues that caused pain. He grew out of this around 9 months. I understand the emotional and physical drain that having a needy child can be. Just hang in there, and remember that it won't last forever. My DS just turned two and is very happy, outgoing, and active.