First Time Away from Baby

OK - I'm normally a lurker here but thought I would add my two cents. I'm a working mother whose job requires that she travels - often. And if I were to be completly honest, I don't feel terribly guilty about it for a couple of reasons:

#1 - Most importantly, it is a great opportunity for my husband, also a great father, to have to take sole responsiblity for my son's care. Even though my husband is an active father - he always deffers to me or 'lets me' take care of Evan if we are together. I believe that my trips have really deepened their bond and provides my husband with a great perspective on what I do on a more regular basis.
#2 - I strongly believe that a happy mom makes a happy child and working does make me happy - even if I do have to take an occasional business trip. Plus, I feel as though I'm teaching my son to admire, not fear, strong successful women
#3 - Getting away, even for work, does allow you time to yourself that you don't often get - even if it is sitting down to eat breakfast while reading the paper. I usually feel that I come back refreshed and enjoying and appreciating my child/spouse/life even more than I did before I left.
#4 - Usually when I'm away, I focus almost all of my time getting work down which then allows me time to fully enjoy my family when I return. If you are like me at all - you feel guilty that you aren't working enough at your job and guilty that you aren't spending enough time with your son. I like to use these business trips as a means to catch-up with work and ensure that when I return home, I'm able to spend time with my son.

I'm not trying to sound like a robot-mom without any feelings and I totally respect those who don't want to leave their children at a young age. I also think that the other posters have great advice to bring pictures, call often, etc. However, I think that its also important to leave without feeling (too) guilty. A business trip does not make you a bad mother. Enjoy yourself and get some sleep while you can :)

Don't go....tell your boss you have no one to watch him!!!!

My other half would email me pictures / videos either on my computer or my cell phone all throughout the day when I would need to travel overnight. It made the trip easier for me. Sometimes he would attach little messages-like- I'm ok mom, Dad is taking good care of me see you soon.
The three days will go fast and you will be back home with Sage.

I'm right there with you N.!

In February we are going to Mexico - which of course I know my 17 month old would LOVE - to the beach for my sister's wedding.
We are leaving both kids - 6 month old baby boy and our then 18 month old baby girl.
Well, no matter how much I insist to my hubby that we should bring them he says no, we're making it an adult trip.
I know I won't regret it, i know I'll be able to stay up with adults, sleep in, and enjoy my hubby.

Yes, I'm excited but I am also horrified. WHat if my mother in law this, what if that... I know they'll be FINE.... Nothing to worry about except what I want to obsess over, like oh she'll carry her too much, oh she'll put his swing in front of the TV... bla bla....
It's 3 days and I am sure I'll come back refreshed and they'll miss us, we'll miss them...
My girl worries me the most since she's aware and I don't want her to be scared or wonder why we're gone...

Amy

So, Did toy survive?

I remember when I left my baby the first time just to get out of the house (my mother's suggestion). I knew she was in good hands with my mother, but I called every half hour. I finally came home much earlier than planned. I had not even left town that time. It does feel painful when you have to leave your infant for any reason. I had surgery when my infant was 3 months old. That was difficult also. It really is not h*** o* the infant, only on the Mom, even when the child is in good hands. You know you have to travel, so just call every chance you get. Don't feel guilty. Life happens. Pray that everything will be well until you return and do what you have to do to complete your assignment. It was actually like that with all of my children. I got through it each time.

A little about me: Mrs. L. K

I am a mother of 10 (I birthed 4 of the 10). My husband and I have been together for 39 years.

Set it up so that you can call whenever you are able. I did the same trip but my husband was with me and our daughter was with our moms. Call when you can and bring lots of pictures.

N.,

I was faced with a similar situation last week when I had was going to have to be away from my 2 year old son for three days. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and was in the hospital for three days recovering from a double mastectomy. Prior to the surgery. I arranged for my 4 year old niece to stay at our house to keep my son distracted while I was in the hospital, and it worked like a charm! He was delighted when I came home, but from what I could tell and what everyone told me, my son was perfectly content because his cousin was there to play with him and keep him distracted.

What I have learned from this is that a short separation is way harder on you then it is on your child. When I reunited with my son, the emotions just poured out of me, and I sobbled like a baby. Just remember that you are doing what you have to do for the good of your child. It also helps to talk to him on the phone. Although of course a 5 month old can't talk on the phone, he will recognize your voice and will understand what you are saying to him.

I wish you the best!

J.

Hi N.:

My first trip away from my son was when he was 7 months old. He is now 2 1/2 and it continues to be difficult. I still cry each and every time. I'm not sure there is a way to make it easier, but I can tell you that the hardest part is leaving home. Once you are out of town you will surely be busy and hopefully the days will pass quickly for you.

Quite honestly, the times that I am gone really gives my husband and son a great bonding experience without my involvement. Selfishly, I still hate going, but I have seen their relationship really blossom because of these times.

We do count our remaining "sleeps" every evening when I talk to them. :-)

M.

It will all work out. :) I remember those days. My son is now 3. I used to cry when I had to go to work and leave him "with someone else" aka my mother or hubby. But rather than thinking of you leaving him, think of it as bonding time between father and son. It is all in the way ya think. Sage will not remember the time you left him, but may always feel that bond with dad. Take time for your self while you are at it, too...(get mags, drinks and the snacks out). Get a pedicure or your hairdone if possible. Think positive, it is only for 72 hours...Nikki

bring a bunch of pictures to look at when you are missing him

I know exactly how you're feeling. I've been there. I have actually taken my babies on business/pleasure trips before. For me it was worth it to pay for someone to come with me. I took my sister on a business trip and my mom on a "girls only" trip. Is there any way you could do that? Are you breastfeeding?

Oh my gosh! I teared up just reading this. I can't imagine having to leave a 5 month old for any time at all. I'm sorry! The only thing I could come up with is- make sure you take a good book with you. It will help the time fly by when you are sitting in a hotel room with nothing to do but think. When I was working and my oldest son was small, I took a framed picture of him and set on my desk. Every time I thought about leaving work, I would say to myself that I was staying there for him so I could provide a better life for him. It almost kinda worked. Good luck. I'm sure daddy is plenty capable but I can certainly understand your discomfort. I wouldn't want to leave my little one either. My youngest is 16mo. and I still haven't been away from him for more than a few hours at a time. Try to stay busy so the time will fly. I do hope you don't have to be away for to long. Shannon G.

Take pictures with you, call daily, and try not to panic. How awesome will it be that your son will get to have some 'boys' nights' with daddy?

It is so hard to be away. Bring pictures and maybe one of Sage's blankets, or shirts or little stuffed animals. It may seem silly to some, but just being able to smell my baby helped a little.