Leaving for 3 Days!

Updated on June 24, 2009
A.P. asks from Saginaw, MI
55 answers

Hi moms, I am going to a couusins wedding in July, just me. My husband has to work, and I am leaving my 2 children with him and his sister. I am thinking I dont want to leave now, I am going to miss them so much. I need this vacation! I havnt been by self for 4 years now. My boy is 3 1/2 and girl 15 months. Should I go to this wedding or stay home? Anyone ever been in this situation? I already booked the ticket but now I am having second thought's! My husband is telling me to go they will be fine, but I have never left them! Any thoughts? Thanks in advance!!

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Go! It will be good for you to feel like a real grownup again and it will be good for him to feel like he can take care of things if you're away for a bit (in other words, he will also feel like a grownup! lol).

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T.C.

answers from Detroit on

Girl get on that plane and go! They will be fine! My husband doesn't even have the help of his sister and I would trust him to take care of the kids for a weekend. You are right when you say that you really need this vacation.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

By all means go!! Not only will you have a great time, your husband will gain a new appreciation for all that you do for your family. :)

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E.J.

answers from Detroit on

Go to the wedding. You will be a better mother for it. If you have not been away by yourself for four years you are WAAAAAAY overdue for a break. Trust your husband, say a prayer and have faith that your children will be okay. It is also good for your husband to take care of the children without you so that he will have a full appreciation for the work that you do. When you return you will feel refreshed, rejuvinated and loved because your husband and kids will be happy to see you when you return! Also, don't forget to schedule some pampering time for yourself while your away, even if you just go get a manicure. You deserve it! Have fun!

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R.S.

answers from Detroit on

I glad you have gotten so may responses that tell you to go. I have a hard time leaving for work sometimes. I only work 2 days a week. My kids are 10 and 6 and I can only think of 3 times that I have left them overnight. The hardest was when my husband and I went to Las Vegas for a weekend. They stayed at a different place almost each night.
They had a ball, and although I missed them terribly, I had a great time too. And guess what else.. I fantasize about that weekend all the time remembering what a good time I had. It is only 3 days and the kids will be with their dad. Let him get a taste of what your life is like on a daily basis. Just think you will only have yourself to worry about for 3 whole days. And you call call to talk to them and make sure they are okay. I promise you will have a good time.

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C.H.

answers from Detroit on

Yes, you should go! I went to my cousins wedding last april and my son who was 21 mths old stayed with my husband. I didn't want to go either, but he kept telling me go and everything will be fine. I went from friday - sunday. I'm glad I went to see all my relatives. Of course I called all the time. Sounds like my son and husband had a great time together. Go, have fun!

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R.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi A.,
I can so relate to your post. A year ago, I was in a similiar situation (my girls were near the same ages as your two children), except that I was offered a (free!)weekend away with my husband. Since I knew I would miss my girls and have a hard time leaving them, we had a "trial" overnight beforehand. I don't know if you have time to try this out before you leave for your cousin's wedding, but I recommend it if you do. Before we went away, we had our girls stay overnight with Grandma and Grandpa (the ones who were watching them while we went away). This was to see how the girls would do, but even more so, to see how I would do! Everything went fine, and I had more peace when we went away because then it wasn't the first time I left them overnight.
I hope you are able to go and enjoy yourself. Remember your children will be in a familiar place and with people who love them. Mommies need breaks, but I understand how difficult it can be to leave little ones for the first time.
Rachael

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N.K.

answers from Detroit on

Remember, there always has to be a FIRST time - please let this be it. It is healthy to be away for a few days from your kids. Everyone needs time for themselves. And OF COURSE you are going to miss them - you are a mom and that is natural. But you are going to be fine, and 3 days is a good amount of time to leave for the first time. Once you do it, you will have the confidence to know you can do it again.

The first time I left my 6 month old for work was for 5 days - it was hard, but you just can't let yourself dwell on how much you miss them - and it won't bother you as much. Later my husband and I got away for a 5 day vacation - and it was much easier.

You have to realize that canceling that trip because of your fears would be crazy. Even mommy's need their own lives. Good luck!

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V.E.

answers from Lansing on

I could not leave my children when they were young either. I didn't want to miss any part of their growing up, I would miss them terribly, it was h*** o* my children and I didn't trust anyone enought to leave them with for several days. I would always find a way to take them with me and if I couldn't take them with me, I wouldn't go. Of course, when they entered school and wanted to spend the night with a friend that was a different story and easier because they were showing they were seeking their independence by asking to be away from me overnight (somethimes this stretched into a couple nights). We were prepared and it gave me my well deserved alone time. I'm just a very protective hands-on mom. Follow your heart. Best.
V.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

GO!! You need to have time for yourself and you know that they will be in good hands. I have taken mini vaca's away from my family and come home happy, refreshed, and even more in love with them. You can't loose you're own life in the life of your children or you are going to be super depressed when they grow up and get out on their own... you will have no clue how to take care of yourself. Hope you have a GREAT time away :-)

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B.J.

answers from Detroit on

My Goodness A., you will be back. Your husband love your children as much as you and will make sure they are taken care off. You need a break and you will realize that when you go for these three days. Remember have a GOOD time and you will miss them but you will be back. (SMILE)

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M.F.

answers from Detroit on

A.,

Trust me...your kids will be fine without you for a few days. It will be harder on you than it will on them. I recently moved back to MI and used to spend pretty much every waking moment with my kids. Well...I still do. But...now I can let them spend the night at Nana's. Enough about that...

If you need this vacation don't feel guilty for taking it! We all need a little break once in a while. It's only three days. Besides...you may feel guilty if you don't go the wedding. This will be fun for you and your kids will give you extra big hugs and kisses when you come home.

A while back an aunt of mine died and I had to help with arrangements...cook and clean for my uncle etc etc. I was living in Ohio at the time and my hubby had to work so I had to bring the girls to MI with me. I left my girls with my mother-in-law and I stayed with my dad. I didn't see them for three whole days and missed them like CRAZY! However it was fine and it allowed me to be there for my family.

It was sort of the same when I had my second daughter. I felt so guilty that I wasn't there for my first daughter while in the hospital for three days. But it all turned out fine.

You will be okay and it will be GOOD FOR YOU to get away for a bit. Take the vacation, call you kids and hubby while away, and ENJOY yourself! You deserve it mamma!

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi A.. Unfortunately, I have to travel with my job - fortunately, I travel less since I had my children, but I travel, all the same! The first time I left, leading up to it was FAR worse than when I was actually gone! They got along great, they loved the one on one time with Daddy (as did he) and they didn't even miss me - no kidding! I felt great returning - and I felt as though everyone appreciated me more! Go for it -it'll do everyone wonders! Just remember, the time leading up to your leaving is worse than when you're actually gone! Don't spoil it on yourself - Be tough & you'll be glad you went, and...Enjoy the wedding!

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S.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I think right now it is the uncertainty of how you will feel. I went on vacation and was literally sick to my stomach before I left but as soon as I made the break I was fine! I missed him of course but that sickness went away and I had a great time!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I will probably be the only one saying this, but I'll chime in anyway! I'd go with my heart on this and not leave the children. Could you take the baby with you at least? I took my youngest with me many places and got a very warm reception. Wish I'd done it with the others but I let their dad and well-meaning friends/relatives tell me it was crazy and everyone would be mad if I brought a baby along. She is grown and has taken her little one, now 3, to Europe on 3 trips so she didn't have to leave her! That just warms my heart! Babies are meant to be with their mothers. Our Western culture is constantly trying to separate them!

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

YES, GO! I am a firm believer that parents need to get away for time to themsevles. it's good for both you and your kids! They will be fine. As long as you are leaving them with people you trust, they will be fine. It probably will be hard, and you will miss them, but it will make the next time you leave easier! My hubby and I went to Jamaica for a week when our daughter was 18 months, and it was very hard, but i'm glad we did it. she was more than fine, and i needed the break! you want your kids to be confident. if you never leave them, they'll think they can't be away from you, and it will be more difficult later! HAVE FUN!

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

A.,

Take the break when you can get it. It is healthy for everyone especially you. You will find the first day is hard but once you realize you can sleep in you get over it a little bit. Have a blast and remember there is always the phone to touch base and talk to the kids.

Have fun and don't worry they will be fine. Good bounding time for your husband and sister to have with the kids.

Love,
K.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

A.; its hard, but as a mom of a couple kids you need to take care of yourself and be refreshed if your husband is capable and im sure he is, the kids will be fine, fix some prepared meals, before you go, so dad just has to heat and eat, its ok to take a small break, your kids wont forget who you are, i had some girlfriends we got a cabin and we all went up north, it was hard to leave kids at home and i would cry myself asleep, it will seem like you are gone forever but have fun and enjoy the wedding, take pictures and let your kids see who you saw, with video cameras and stuff you should be able to call them and even maybe see them, you deserve a break its not like you will be leaving them all the time, this is a one time deal, go for it , go and get refreshed and have fun, be safe and come home so you can care for them again, they will miss you that is a fact, you will miss them, that too is a fact, but its ok to go, if you absolutely cant, its kinda a poor excuse to not go , she did not come to my wedding cause she cant leave her kids, ahahah its ok to think of others, and your kids will be fine, and it will make dad appreciate yah too and all that you have to do im sure he is good or you would not be leaving the kids with him, enjoy D. s

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M.R.

answers from Lansing on

DO IT! I felt the same way when my kids were young. The first time going away is the hardest. But you need it - you said it. It is good for your kids to spend alone time with their daddy, too.

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

You should go! Your children will be fine; you need to have some time to yourself. Trust your husband and his sister to take care of the kids. Have fun!

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C.Q.

answers from Detroit on

Can I come too? Seriously, go, don't look back. Everyone will be fine. I'm sure the house will be messier when you get home so enjoy the time away.

C.B.

answers from Benton Harbor on

GO!! You need a break and it sounds like it will be a fun time for you and that the kids will be well taken care of!!
I have a home business and every July we go to our National conference for 3 (super fun awesome) days with girlfriends. I can tell you that I feel the SAME way before leaving and EVERY year there are tons of gals that express to me that they feel exactly the same all the way up until the second they walk out the door. But even though we miss the kids terribly, we have the BEST time!! We get to visit with people, do whatever we want, and get RECHARGED. It's the one time where you are not "MOM". My kids are 5 and 11 now and EVERY year I totally look forward to my litlle getaway to be just ME. So, yes GO! You WILL miss them but it will be a fantastic time for you and they will be just fine!!!
C.

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A.K.

answers from Detroit on

I've been in your situation. It's hard emotionally but it is the best thing. Financially you are probably making the better decision to go by yourself, and time with just their father is really beneficial for your kids. It's okay to cry while you're away and feel guilty, but also have fun. I truly believe it's okay to do. And besides myself, I know other moms who have so don't feel like you're the worse mom in the world. Have fun!

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

GO!!!!

Its 3 days. Yes, you will miss them... But you need to get away sometimes... Just look at it as less than 1 day per year of your sons life... But you've been accruing your vaca days. GO have fun.... and make sure to get them a small present before you get back... :-)

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A.D.

answers from Detroit on

Go Go Go!! It will a nice refresher for you. Also good to show your kids that it is ok to go away and be a way from home. Have fun enjoy yourself, it will be totally worth it.

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B.S.

answers from Detroit on

Oooh, A., DO IT! Go....you will feel so much more refreshed after being away. Not to mention being more appreciative of your husband and kids - a little break is good for you ALL! It also might help your husband bond further with your children, and appreciate what you do for all of them even more!

Warmly,

B.

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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

You should definately go. It will be good for you, your children and your husband. If your worried they will miss you, leave them a love note for each day that your gone. Most importantly trust your husband, he can and will meet their needs. It may be in a different way than you would but he will take good care of them.

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A.S.

answers from Lansing on

Of course you'll miss them! But it's only for 3 days right? You should go. (as long as you trust he can care for them). You'll be able to come home and see your kids, but you won't have another chance to go to this wedding. Plus, your kids can get some alone time with Daddy.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Go! Go! Go! and have fun! Leave your mommy guilt at home and enjoy some time off. Yes you will miss them and probably feel weird when you eat and don't have to fix anyone else food. And you will probably suffer from a constent feeling that you forgot something, but you go and have some fun and everyone will be fine. Don't cry when you say bye to your kids, it'll just upset them for no reason!

M.Q.

answers from Detroit on

Oh my gosh! Yes, definitely go. I went on a cruise for 4 days w/my best friend; my first time ever being away from our daughter...hubby stayed home w/our daughter who was 3 at the time everything was fine...of course everytime I called home hubby was like enough all ready...everything was fine...I felt alot better when I got back home (rested & refreshed). I'll be going on another girls trip again in January this time hubby will be home with our 5 year old & 1 year old.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

It is completely normal for you to feel like that. But, it is actually a very healthy experience for you, your kids and your husband to go through and take short breaks every so often. Try to have fun!

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A.R.

answers from Detroit on

you should go!! you will miss your kids, but i truly think it's good to give them different experiences! daddy & auntie time is great...and you will recharge & relax! i've gone on vacation once a year for a few days and i always want to cancel right before...but it has always turned out just fine! have fun:)

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K.P.

answers from Detroit on

GO! These opportunities are few and far between.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

They'll be fine and you'll feel 100% better when you return. I felt the same way upon returning to work after 2 1/2 years of being a stay-at-home mommy. But....I must tell you that the time at work (3 days per work) really helps me cope better at home. Have fun and enjoy!!! Remember, we're not only mommies but we're people too!

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B.J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi A., you should go & try not to worry too much. Have a good time at the wedding, get some rest & be a whole new relaxed mom when you return. My husband & I had to go on a cruise, just the two of us, no children, not even if we bought them tickets. This was a trip my husband had won, for his preformance at work, their were more than 100 people total from all over the world on board. I struggled with not attending, but literaly his job depended on my being at his side. One issue, it was winter, but we were going to be in 80+ weather. I felt guilty, the biggest issue for the kids, they did not like what their grandma cooked them for dinner. LOL We bought lots of present, with children that goes a long way. While on St Thomas my mother & I had this discussion, about what she could feed the kids, LOL at $2.75 per min. LOL. The time you spend away from the kids will make them stronger, and more apprieciate of you, and every thing you do for them. Now go, have fun. My kids age at the time, 7yr, & 15yr, my mother had to drive both kids to & from school everyday, + feed them, LOL, I'll never forget that phone call.

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

I say go! The kids will be fine with their dad. I think too often as moms, we don't give the dads enough credit. And I think it's SO important for us moms to take the time to recharge every once in a while. Believe me, I understand the "mommy guilt" but I truly believe we're better as moms when we take care of ourselves every once in a while.

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L.C.

answers from Detroit on

They will be fine.Your husband is right, you need to go. You will come back all refreshed. I am a mother of 3 and a grandmother of 3. Each time I had to go somewhere and left the kids with my husband they had a chance to bond.

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hello,
I just left my 10 mo. old this past weekend. It was SO hard! But I am kind of glad I did it. I cried and had to make myself leave Friday- Friday night I was home sick as i missed her but by Saturday I was ok, I still missed her, but I wasn't sad. She was in good hands at home w/ daddy. I say go- its hard, but you can do it :-)

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

I understand your anxiety! I am just not ready to leave my 15 month old son at his grandparents house over night even though I will have to in order to give birth to our second child this August. I am going to do a test run or two soon, one night at a time. This will give me a chance to adjust and let them all figure out how it will work for them too.
Good luck and enjoy the wedding!

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

You need to go! Your children will be fine. It will be good for you to get away for a couple of days, good for the children to spend time with others, and your husband will see for himself just what it is you do while he is working.

Have a wonderful time!

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

Go! You deserve your own time, as well. I bet your husband wouldn't be having second thoughts, lol! Of course you'll miss them, but it'll be good for them and for dad to be able to have this time together.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

As long as your kids are going to be taken care of, which it sounds like they are, you should go. The first time I was away from my daughter for a weekend I went to New York with some girlfriends. Yeah, I missed her like crazy, but sometimes moms' need time for themselves. Needless to say, I had a great time and you will too. What's really great is when you come back from something like that and just hold on to your little ones. Go, relax and have a great time!

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P.T.

answers from Detroit on

Go and go quickly, As long as hubby is content GO. The children will be find, that is what daddy's are for, plus he will appreciate you so much more when you return

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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

GO! Have fun, cuz your kids and husband will. You deserve it.

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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

You need to go, remember you are still you. You need time to yourself. Sleep in, take a long shower, take your time doing your hair and makeup, and go and shake your bootie.
Now does'nt that sound good, Also the kids and dad both need together time, his sister will help if he screws up.'ha-ha

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

A. -
I know how you feel, and like it seems everyone before me has said. It's normal to feel apprehensive. I had the opportunity to go to Paris for 3 days(super quick trip) for work when my daughter was 15 months old. Being a single Mom, I was terrified to be away and so far from her.
I cried and doubted my decision for half of the plane ride there -- but then I trusted I was a good Mom and a good person. It was a great experience for us both! I even went to Germany for work for 5 days the following year.
It is super hard.... but so good for all of you. I'm sure you trust your husband, and he's going to have help. Just call them when you are away and enjoy yourself! You'll have your moments.... but you are human, it's normal -- but you will get through.
I hope you end up going - just my opinion. good Luck
C.

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

A.,
Darling......."Put on your Big Girl Panties and Deal with it"....you deserve this break and hubby is all for it....plus you have sister to assist.....what could be better. By your frustrations and fears -- you really do sound like you "NEED" this vacation. Go Sweetie. Enjoy yourself. I'm sure that you have a cell, email and maybe even Skype.....have a nice time at your cousins wedding.
I'll be thinking of you.
~KathyT~
ps.....it 'does' get easier as the kiddos get older....next time leave them with the sister and take Hubby with you!!! :-)
pss.....BTDT and survived to tell about it

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R.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

GO!!!!!

You're not a bad mom for leaving your kids. (I'm sure that thought is in there somewhere... get it out!) You need down time too!!!! Take care of yourself and you'll be better equipped to take care of those kiddos. :-)

The kids will be fine. Sure, dad and sis might make a few mistakes...but the kids will be fine.

I hate leaving my daughter for any period of time. But I force myself to do things without her and leave her with her dad. I have to... to take care of myself. I totally wish I could get away for 3 days sans hubby and daughter! I love my family to bits..but I also recognize I need to maintain my own sanity.

Go. Have fun. You'll be glad you did.

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

Having time for yourself will make you an even better mom. It is not being selfish. We don't have to loose our identity and what we enjoy and who we enjoy it with, after getting married and having children.

So GO, have fun and when you return, I am certain your family will appreciate you more than ever!

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S.C.

answers from Lansing on

A.,
You have gotten some wonderful advice. You should absolutely go! You won't regret it! My sil never left her daughter overnight with anyone and now she has a six year old that refuses to spend the night away from her! Believe me. It is very inconvenient for my sil. My niece won't even sleep over at her grandparents' house and they only live a few miles away! Your kids will be fine and so will you! You deserve a break! Enjoy yourself!
S.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

You should definately go. You kids will be just fine. Take it from a working mom who travels occasionally. It is way harder on me than it is them. Just stay in touch via the phone and if you have... Skype. You deserve some time to yourself.

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J.G.

answers from Detroit on

Go and enjoy your self. If hubby feels comfortable than you should to. Have fun

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D.C.

answers from Detroit on

It is WAY past time you did something like this. And it will be good for YOU and for your husband AND the children! Its only for 3 days...and its essential that your husband have times like this with the kids too. It will do wonders for your sanity! I raised 4 kids mostly alone as their father was either on the road or gone on business trips. And I valued what few times I was able to get away by myself, if only for a few days like that Plus, once you do get back...he will appreciate you FAR more while he tells you about the stange things that happened while you were gone
TOO FUNNY!! Go...if a true emergency pops up you WILL know and its only 3 days in the 1st place! go and ENJOY! D.

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D.O.

answers from Detroit on

Definitely go. You need this time by yourself. They will survive without you and hopefully appreciate you even more when you return!

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

A., the more you think you should stay home the more you need to go and relax. Have fun!!!

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