Emotional Child

Well, at least you are raising a child who has deep emotional capacity and empathy for living (and stuffed) things, that's a good thing right!! :)

My son can be like that when he is not winning at games. At first I would do some comforting and talking/explaining because I do think a mom's job is to coach a child through life's emotions, but now that I know he has the basic understanding I just let him go off and pout alone. I think it's important for your daughter to feel the natural consquence of her actions (which is that the game goes on without her and she might end up feeling left out). This is what would happen in the real world, in a playgroup or on a playground. Of course I would follow up and talk about it later like when I am putting her to bed or driving her home. But it's important to impart the skills for her to get through it at that moment on her own. It's hard to see her sad and hurt, I am sure, but you'd be a better mom for teaching her to manage these experiences then if you protected her from them. It's a skill she really needs. Good luck.

Regarding situations like the stuffed animals, be consistent yourself with encouraging/recognizing her feelings such as "You're so sensitive to the stuffed animals and caring about them having a mommy, but we have plenty at home/not time for a new one or whatever you say, and they will probably be finding a new mommy later today or tomorrow when someone else picks them out to love!" Don't give in to whining if you started by saying no. Even discuss it in the car before getting to the store.

Now for the bigger picture... I would strongly recommend a psychiatric evaluation soon. Insurance is usually very good at covering behavioral health specialists so hopefully cost won't be a deterrant. Ask your pediatrician or experienced friends for recommendations of a CHILD psychiatrist and child psychologist/therapist.

I won't make any speculations on what could be a chemical imbalance, that's for the experts, and it may be strictly behavioural that a therapist can help you with. I will tell you my experiences and especially that their little self esteems are more important than any fear of stigma (be careful who you discuss it with or receive advice from) or embarassment if you're inclined to stay away from mental health professionals. I started with a child psychiatrist when my 1st daughter was 4. I saw dramatic improvement in just 3 days of being on medication, as did her grandparents when they babysat a few days. She was originally dx early onset bipolar, but is now being treated strictly for ADHD and usually doing very well on meds. My second daughter recently started taking meds for anxiety. The type of drug approved for use in children take a bit longer to see results, but I noticed small changes in just one month at half dose, and big improvements after 2 months even before getting to full dosage. She's a much happier and more confident child now and while I waited a year past when i questioned if she needed medication, I'm so glad I was open to the option. (She's 8)
Best wishes and message me if you need anything.

Ofcourse our little ones are sensitive and sweet and innocent, but, they also have figured out how to get their way. Not in a manipulative way. They just figure out what works. And when she's not getting enough attention, she gets dramatic, and because we Moms want to fix things, she gets that attention from you.

I also have a 4 yr. old, and they learn those frases that grab us. "That makes me sad" "But the toys need a mommy, I'll be their mommy" "I don't have one THAT color" "It's not fair"
And they do work, they pull our sympathy, and guilt strings. But they're still learning, so all these phrases can have simple clear responses. And I don't thing you should feel bad to tell her, "That's very sweet, but you are mommy to lost of toys at home already"

She sounds wonderfuly sweet and sensitive, I hope your able to help her find a balance.

Hi J.,

I wish I had a fantastic answer for you, but I don't - I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is not the only 5 year old who is like this!! My son also has a hard time sometimes, especially with not winning games. I have found that not giving extra attention for behavior you don't want to encourage has helped a little bit with my son... it's tough to do, but it has cut down on the drama a little bit. We don't give time outs for melt downs, but we do encourage him to take all the time he needs to collect himself & calm down so he can come back to the situation (party, game, whatever) & have fun again.

Also, is your daughter in day care, preschool or kindergarten? What have her teachers observed? If they're seeing something completely different than what you experience at home, I would be more likely to take a little tougher approach at home, since she's capable of handling things in some situations.

Again, I'm sorry I don't have a great answer, but you are not alone!