Your daughter needs for you to be the strong parent. She needs to have boundries, and consequences, That means that you have to be stern and follow through with punishment as well as bedtimes(naps)!! That is the hard part. I know how easy it is to ignore, because you have had it. You just do not want to hear it anymore. That means they win and have complete controll. Which is bad parneting. That just makes everything worst!! You need to have a plan (consequences) when she misbehaves. Kids also act up when they are over tired. If she acts up, first try to remove her from the situation or distract her. However, if her behaveior continues with the same siutation or if she is being mean to someone, calm her by holding her on your lap or hanging on to her, with her at your eye level(besure you have her attention by reminding her to look at your eyes),explain to her that it is unacceptable, and explain how it could hurt someones feelings (perhaps use her) ask her how she would feel. Then tell her if she does it again she will be punished and speak of the punishment(what it would be). Perhaps by taking away something she loves (blanket, toy, binky ect..) Each situation needs to be addressed ASAP!! Do not wait 15 minutes or longer. She will not remember. That is not fair to her. Do not yell you must talk calmy, with a stern voice and directly to them at eye level. To calm my daughter I would put her on my lap and try to distract her crying to calm her by telling her she must sit still and relax while hugging her. I would say do I have to tickle you silly to get you calm down. That would make her smile and I would have her attention. I would then tell her to look into my eyes and I would then explain, what she did and why mommy was upset and why she shouldn't act that way. If she wasn't looking at me I would stop to have her her focus on my eyes. Tell them exactly like it is. If they act poorly to others, no one will want to be friends with them. Kids want to have friends and play mates. If she doesn't relax and still is high strong. Put her in time out, time it and tell her how long she has before she can get down. With anything. That means no, toys blanket, and not talking to her either for the remainder of the timeout. Then try to talk to her in the same mannor as explained above. It worked for me. It got to the point with my daughter when I would say "do not make me count, and I would start and she would say, no,no,no, ok, I am sorry, do not count. She would know what was next. It got much easier. She was a very well behaved little one, After I got how to play the game. I always gave her lots of hugs and thanked her for her good behavior and also for being a good listener. My daughter also behaved better ,when we would go out, if I would tell her what we were doing and what I expected from her (behavior wise). Like if we were going to the store, I would tell her what we needed to get(often she would be my reminder, my list) and that we cannot ask for things in the store. We need to spend the money on the important things food ext.. I would however allow her to pick out fruit or veggies she liked. She to this day doesn't ask. But she knows if there is extra we will take a day and get something for ourselves. I hope this helps you out. GOod luck and do not give up.