Wont Sleep Without Crying

One thing that my doctor told me, was that it is the start of their indipendance.. I know that sounds kind of wierd, but it makes since. Crying themselves to sleep is in essance them learning how to comfort themselves too. What a valuable thing to know. And who knew you could learn it at such an early age. Also they are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for, and they are feeling things out still to see how it all works....

Hi J.,

My fiance and I share your pain. My daughter whom is now going on 14 months is and was exactly like that. I spoke to everyone I knew about it including multiple doctors, the only thing that has ever helped to get her to sleep is to just let her cry it out! I know it is a hard thing, its been a very hard thing for us. My son who is 5 never had that problem just lay him down and he was out. But our daughter is a screamer. We have found that she cries less if she is in a dark room by her self with a blanket, teddy bear, and a bottle! I hope that this has helped you out some how.

Trish

my name is M. and i am a mother of three girls. your 4 month old is just going to cry. your baby is just waiting for you to pick him/her up. believe there is no cure for this, my 2 year old still does it once in a while. after a while they will just know that is the routine and that's how it is going to be, so be patient your doing a great job.

Is she eating solids?
Does she have eczema?
Have you tried Bath Bottle then Bed every night?
Are you picking her up after you put her down?
Is she overstimulated by all the actions you are doing to help her sleep? Try doing nothing at all and rock her with a nuk in her mouth in a dark quiet room. Remember she feels your anxiety.

She may be too hungry or she is just trying to figure things out. I couldn't get my daughter on a schedule for nothing till 5.5 months. She would eat 4 ounces of milk at 6:30am, 2 ounces of milk and a jar of solids with 2 ounces of rice cereal mixed with fomula at 10:00am, another bottle of 4-6 ounces at around 2pm, 2 ounces of milk with 1.5 jars of solids and 2 ounces of rice with fomula at 6pm, then bath at 7pm, 2 more ounces at 7:45pm and down for the night.

Hi J.!
Your little one sounds like she may be in some discomfort. After two feedings back to back, she might be colicky, and may be she needs to be burped more. If you're laying her down right after her feedings, then that could be it. Try laying her down an hour or two after she has been fed and had time to digest her milk/formula and burped. If it's colic, and she's on formula, you might want to consider changing her formula. I had to change my son's formula from Enfamil Lipil, to the Prosobee. It worked wonders. If you have tried everything from singing to her, and kept up the routine bedtime, and burping her, then may be lots more loving. :-) Also consult with your doctor about your concerns with her constant crying. It could me something else. Best wishes,G.

Well, believe it or not, (GASP), I'm behind Heather Q 100% on this one. I also put my son to sleep on his tummy since he was old enough to lift his head. Once he started to sleeping on his tummy, he was sleeping 10 hours at night before waking for another feeding. He is now 21 months and when I put him in crib and kiss him goodnight, he immediately lays on his tummy and sleeps 12 hours everynight. It is a very calming position for him and it is for most babies! So, like Heather, you all can send me the nasty comments if you want.... But it worked for us. I'm due any day with son #2 and when he is old enough to lift up his head, we'll probably do the same thing. SIDS is definately not something to take lightly. But my home is smoke free and I don't put anything in the crib with a my son. I started doing this after my friend pulled me aside and told me that she did it (funny- like it was something to be ashamed and embarressed of) and she was right. Worked like a charm.
If you feel uncomfortable with this, I can totally understand and you should listen to your own instincts. If you decide to continue laying Tabbytha on her back, good for you! Personally, I believe that some babies need a "wind down" time where they can release some energy before falling asleep. 5-10 mins of crying doesn't seem too bad to me. You are doing a GREAT job with the routine- and my opinion is that it's absolutely best to have the baby put herself to sleep instead of the breast or the rocking chair doing the job. You're right on track.

J., Just a few things I would try, My 9mo. son has severe reflux (3 prescription meds.) if I were to feed him then put him in bed I know he would scream, ummmm... is her bed elevated at the end where her head is? does she spit up a lot? If is isnt her tummy that is causing her to cry while she is laying down then I would definitely try the CD player with some lullaby's I know giving them a warm bath in lavender baby bath can sometimes help. Good Luck...

Ok, my advise is to #1 Buy a CD player (if you don't have one in the babies room) and a lullaby CD (music only) play it while she is going to sleep. This will help with the bear.
#2 5-10 minutes.....WOW! My daughter cried every night for 45-70 minutes per night. I would have been thrilled with 5-10 minutes.
#3 Maybe it could be she is too full. Try only giving her 1 to 1 1/2 feedings. Her belly may be hurting a little.
#4 Your baby is just communicating with you saying that she doesn't want to go to bed she was having too much exploring... and that is why she cries. As much as it "hurts" or "bothers" you just gotta let her cry a little.
#5 Put your baby on her belly and slowly pat her butt to make a rocking motion it shouldn't take too much to have her settle down

I hope this helps a little.
~AJ

Some babies just need to cry themselves to sleep.. My daughter was the same way when she was a baby.. 5-10 minutes really isnt bad.. Sometimes its just their way of calming themselves down.. I wouldnt worry about it..

I am also a new mommy. My daughter, Cambria, was born Feb 4. I have the same problem. She will only sleep for about 30 min and then wake up and start crying again (her cry spells can last up to 20 min or even longer sometimes). Im sorry I dont have any suggestions because Ive tried everything that you have and I have not yet gotten her to stay asleep well, she does but only after waking up 3 or 4 times. I know that it is overwhelming, frustrating and usually not w/ the crying but not knowing what to do to comfort her. Im a single mommy so trust me if I could help you w/ some suggestions I would. Wish you the best of luck.

H.

Personally I have never been able to let them cry it out. It makes me sick to my stomach. I Would suggest "The Baby Sleep Book" by Dr. Sears- this book saved me! It doesn't condone the cry-it-out method. This is what I did. I would feed my baby then start to rock them to sleep without the bottle in their mouth and once they are just about all the way asleep, then I would take them into their crib, put them to sleep on their bellies and if they woke up a little, I would stay in there and pat them back to sleep. That part can be time consuming @ first but they get used to the routine- it just takes patience (something I'm sure you are short of right now). Its really hard to establish a routine at first but it will get easier I promise. Every baby is so different, you'll just have to do trial and error with different methods until you can find what works and what you are comfortable with. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

Hi J.,
Honestly, crying for 5-10 mins before falling asleep really isn't that bad. That just may be her way of winding down. There are a lot good suggestions here, but I have a few more. Have you tried swaddling your daughter? I know it works for a lot of parents, and helps baby to feel more secure and sleep for longer periods of time. Also, is it possible that your daughter is going to bed too late and is overtired? Maybe try moving her bedtime up 1/2 an hour or an hour and see what happens. I noticed that when we put our daughter to bed earlier, she slept longer and better than when we put her to bed later. Also, do you have some type of crib toy? That may help as well. We have the Fisher Price Flutterbye Dreams one, and it also helps our daughter get to sleep. It has music and a soothing ceiling projector. I do agree about her possibly being to full before bed, that could definitely be the cause, too. I also agree about the tummy sleeping, once our daughter had good head control, we put her to bed on her tummy, and she slept a lot better. Good luck to you, and remember, that it will get easier!

Ok - here's my suggestion. You may want to make sure you're sitting down.

Put her on her stomach. Make sure there are no stuffed animals, quilts and such, and just put her on her tummy. I know this freaks people out. But, as I seem to be a little older than most of the new moms out there, I can remember when the rule was NOT to put babies on their backs.

If this makes you nervous, try it at a nap time when you can go back and check on her frequently. My oldest (now 6) was a terrible sleeper until I decided that I couldn't stand it anymore, and put her on her tummy. She went to sleep quickly and slept better and longer. My husband FREAKED!! He's older than I am, but he's a youngest child and I'm an oldest - so I've seen this in action - guess he hadn't.

When my second (now 17 months) was born, I put her on her tummy pretty much from day one.

Babies are curled over themselves when they are inutero. If they are on their tummies, they can recreate that feeling - and that is a warm safe feeling for them.

Those are my thoughts. If people want to send me nasty grams, so be it. But, my advice has worked for hundreds of years! It's been about 25 years that the back sleeping thing came into play.

Whatever you (and you H.) try, I wish you luck. It's SO frustrating to hear them cry when you know they are tired and sleep would make them feel better!

I don't know if you have read the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD, but I read it right around the time my son turned 3 or 4 months and it has been a godsend. It talks about the time of wakefullness being around 2 hours for a child of 4 months meaning that from the time your baby wakes up in the morning or from their last nap, they should be awake no longer than 2 hours. You may be waiting too long in between naps and putting your baby down too late at night, and therefore she is already too tired which is causing the crying. After implementing what I read in this book, my child rarely cries when he goes to sleep (he's 6 1/2 months now). He goes somewhere between 2 to 3 hours between naps and is asleep every night between 6:00 and 7:30 depending on when he woke up from his afternoon nap. It really is amazing the difference! The other thing about this book is that is in sections based on their ages so you don't have to read the whole thing at once, however, I found it SO HELPFUL that I couldn't put it down. Anyway, I hope this helps.

Actually, 5-10 min is pretty good!! At this age, she may also be teething, so you may try homeopathic Humphrey's or Calms Forte to help her relax and ease teething pain. You can find both at Walmart...ask the pharmacist if you can't find it right away.

At night, you might try a warm bath and infant massage as well! You could also try swaddling her again - some babies like this even when they're older. www.miracleblanket.com

In reading about tummy sleeping from the other ladies, I would say maybe a middle-ground would be to let her fall asleep that way on her stomach, but then maybe switch her to her side or back when she's sleeping. But I do know that desperate times call for deseperate measures ;)

Best of luck!