When Do I Tell My Daughter I Am Pregnant?

Updated on April 02, 2012
C.W. asks from Thousand Oaks, CA
14 answers

I think I am pregnant... I took a home pregnancy test- positive! I contacted my doctor who sent me for blood work- results tomorrow . I have an 8 week appointment on the 19th for an ultrasound. Providing all goes well and I am pregnant... When should I tell my almost 6 year old daughter? I have concerns because I have had two miscarriages before 8 weeks. If all is well at the ultrasound at 8 weeks ... When should I tell her? I have been "not feeling well" and "tired " for a few weeks. I would love to be able to explain why to my daughter. What do you think? What has been your experience? Thanks for your thoughts.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your responses... Blood tests today look good... I am definately going to wait until after the 8 week ultrasound(sorry if I was not clear about that) and then we will see from there. Thanks again!

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answers from Los Angeles on

I'd wait until after the ultrasound. Also, keep in mind that once you tell her, she's probably going to tell everyone she knows. So, if you're not ready to let the cat out of the bag, I'd hold off for a bit.

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answers from Boston on

Don't tell her. You can't expect a 6 year old to handle the realities of pregnancy, nor of miscarriage, nor of medical doubts. You can't expect her to be a source of support for you, and right now it's going to take a lot more out of you to explain things to her. I agree with the other post that she will tell EVERYONE so don't go down that road until you have to and are ready to. You're just tired - she'll handle that fine. If you are pregnant and starting to show, and if you are ready for the world to know, then tell her. Don't let her hear it from someone else, but don't tell her until there's something definite and you're ready for the secret to be out.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

Wow I must really not do things the right way! My 5 year old was the first person I told! And dispite what another poster said yes the children can be a source of support, my son came to every dr appointment and was present for all the ultrasounds. He even got to pick his baby sisters name:) since you have had 2 previous losses I would tell her after the 8 week ultrasound if all is well. Good luck and Congrats!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

First, be sure that you want it public knowledge as a 6 year old can't keep a secret like that.

Second, if you want to have a lot of fun while you endure the difficulties of pregnancy, be sure to tell her. She will keep your mind on the fun part of it. Her questions will be fun and she can remind you of all the good stuff coming.

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answers from Detroit on

I would wait until at least 12 weeks, if not a little longer - you are less likely to miscarry by then. A friend of mine told her daughter (age 4) that she was going to be a big sister when she was only 7 weeks pregnant...then unfortunately ended up miscarrying and had to tell her daughter she wasn't going to be a big sister after all. Very sad.



answers from San Francisco on

Congrats to you! Wait until you see the doctor and get an ultrasound-to make sure all is ok.(waiting until after 1st trimester is better if you can stand it :) ) Best wishes and hope you feel better soon.



answers from Lima on

Hmmm.....well she is your daughter. I think it's time for mommy instinct. If you feel you can tell her now, just explain that you think you are pregnant, but you need the doctor to comfirm it. But at the same time, she may tell all of the kids at school too. So maybe wait until you've had the ultrasound. If she asks why you can't play or why you are tired, just tell her that mommy doesn't feel well and the doctor is going to help.

Sorry, but that's the best advice I have. Good luck.



answers from Los Angeles on

i would tell her when you are about 4 months so your out of the danger zone. that way she doesnt get all excited and something (god forbid) happens.


answers from Dayton on

We told our 6 yo. DD about our new pregnancy after we heard the heartbeat (at my 1st appt.-10 weeks).
I have also had a miscarriage...
Once you see the baby is ok-I'd tell her.
My DD was very worried why mommy was feeling so poorly.
And she didn't blab to anyone she wasn't told she could tell.
HTH! Congrats!


answers from Los Angeles on

I told mine at 4 and we also lost it. She took the news in stride. At 6 she'll be really disappointed if it does not work out. But I also feel horrible and feel the need to explain myself to my children who are not getting the normal attention, care, and energy from me. I suggest you do all you can to make it to the 8 week ultra sound, and if you make that landmark, do all you can to wait until 12 weeks. But if you cannot wait, tell on a need to know basis and warn her not to get her hopes up. But I agree, its too hard to wait until second trimester to tell those around you when you need to explain why you need to nap, or puke, or eat weird foods at weird times. The more sick you get, the less you can hide it. So don't worry about the sage advice to wait until you pass your first trimester. Thats for women who don't get very sick and can hide it. When you are sick, you cannot hide it, so guard her emotions the next best way and warn her that not all pregnancies work out.



answers from Boston on

The earliest I told my kids was at 12 weeks, and that was only because I was starting to show a little (twins) and had to take my youngest kids to the u/s appointment.

With my earlier pregnancies, we were 20 weeks and 16 weeks. As you know, losses can happen and it would be even worse if you have to tell your daughter. Also, pregnancy is an ETERNITY for the kids so the longer you wait, the less time THEY have to wait for their sibling to arrive. I would hold off until at least 12 weeks, and consider longer if you can stand it.


answers from Redding on

"Mommy is feeling kind of tired, I MIGHT be pregnant, you might have a baby brother or sister, at least that's the way I'm feeling right now. If I seem kind of fussy or tired or crazy, that would be the reason. I have some doctor appointments coming up so we can see what's happening."
Your daughter is 6, I'm sure she will understand a good part of it if you talk to her like a little adult about it. I didn't mince words with my kids. You need your daughter to learn compassion, this is a good time and example for just that.



answers from Louisville on

We've been through miscarriages as well, and as a result, I'm always hesitant to tell our other children before I'm fairly certain things are going to be okay. That's usually towards the end of the first trimester. In my experience, even though we would like to explain to them why we are fine one second or crying/insane the next, why we put our heads down on the table just for a second and end up sleeping for half an hour, etc., they honestly aren't worried about WHY we are doing those things. They just want to know that we're still looking out for them. In my mind, there's plenty of time after I'm pretty sure things are going to be fine (I mean, even if I wait till week twelve, we've got 28 more weeks to go, right?). I don't see any sense in getting them worked up about a new baby if there's a chance of things going badly. Good luck and congratulations!



answers from New York on

I would wait until you hit that 12 week mark. God forbid something happened. Very hard for a six year old to understand. Better all the way
around to wait. Congratulations.

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