Pregnancy Worries After Previous Miscarriages

Updated on June 21, 2010
A.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
22 answers

Last week I missed my period and took a positive pregnancy test, which makes me 5 weeks pregnant. I was excited and calm about it last week, but am already starting to feel anxiety about having another miscarriage. last year I had a 'chemical pregnancy' (basically a REALLY early m/c) and a few months after that, a m/c (stopped growing at 7 or 8 weeks, didn't find out until 11 weeks when I had some spotting and went in and had a vaginal ultrasound - no heartbeat. I had the tissue tested and there was a common chromosonal abnormality.). It's been about 10 months since then. We started trying 2 cycles ago and obviously succeeded quickly. My concern (today anyways) is that my breasts got heavier and tender last week, which I took as a symptom of being pregnant. But this week, they don't hurt anymore (just the nipples are tender), or feel 'swollen'. I really don't have any other symptoms. Is it too early? This has almost convinced me that something is going wrong, and I have caught myself feeling sad and not being able to stay positive about the future of this pregnancy.

I guess my question is, after experiencing a miscarriage, how do you NOT constantly worry you will have another?

What can I do next?

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answers from Minneapolis on

You can never get rid of the worry- I've had two in a row, and now I have had two successful pregnancies since - and it was never any relief until my ultrasounds. The only thing to know is, you have no control over this- no matter how much you worry- you will not be able to stop it if it is happening. And, maybe talk to your doc- they put me on progesterone with the second. Might be worth a shot. Also, if you drink coffee- stop. I am slightly convinced that it increases risk of miscarriage(I drank it before I knew I was pregnant with both miscarriages).

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

I don't think you can. I sure couldn't. But my last pregnancy went to term, despite my constant worry that it wouldn't. There is no universal requirement to always stay positive - our feelings about these kinds of things are based upon our experiences.

As for what not "feeling pregnant" right now - it could mean something or nothing. I didn't feel at all pregnant for about 6 weeks with my last pregnancy. And then, bow howdy, I was sick. If you start having food aversions, that is a REALLY good sign. I am a serious coffee addict, and the only REAL sign for me a healthy pregnancy is that I stop wanting coffee...then it becomes disgusting. That was the case in both of my pregnancies that went to term. I am now the lucky mommy of 3 boys - 2 biological and one adopted.

Good luck and God bless.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Duluth on

i know how you feel! i had a miscarriage, and then when i got pregnant 3 months later, i felt like i was walking on eggshells until things were "guaranteed" to be fine.

i dont know what to say other than to say that you just take it a day at a time. dont tell a lot of people in your family and friends to avoid having to rehash the whole miscarriage again. we were cautious about it for a while, but we just took it easy and were calm and it was like, whats the worst that can happen ? another miscarriage. we've been through it, we know what we are getting into, and we can handle it. we figured its a 25% chance of happening with any pregnancy, so if it happens twice it happens twice. my doctor said after three, she would start checking for problems with us. but i would have asked her for it after 2.

i dont know. its a tough thing and its personal. the way we dealt with it might not be a way you would deal with it. but just take it a day at a time, and know that whatever happens, happens, and you can deal with it when it happens. like i said, you've been through it, so you know what its like, its not "new". it hurts, but at least you know whats going on. i dont know. good luck! chances are that everything will be just fine this time!! so stay positive, and relax, and just keep remembering that miscarriage happens, and it happens a lot more than people know. :) but those moms get pregnant and stay pregnant no problem the next time. :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Make an appointment with your doctor - when they ask the date of your last cycle, say you don't know. tell them you have no idea when you concieved. Tell them your m/c concerns. You will almost certainly get an ultrasound - and a positive ultrasound at this point of the pregnancy would mean that your chance of m/c would be very small.

Good Luck. I've been there!



answers from Minneapolis on

So sorry to hear about the loss of your child. I too lost a child, and when I got pregnant again I worried non stop. I would drive myself crazy worrying about another miscarriage. I luckily had a healthy baby boy. I don't think you ever stop worrying but you also need to enjoy this pregnancy and not always look at the bad side cause all the stress isn't good for the baby either. Take it one day at a time that's the best advice I can give you.



answers from Houston on

Allison, Not sure if you are religious or not, but if you are please just pray to God and ask him to give you peace. You just need to pray and take it easy, relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Good luck and congrats. I have read this saying and I think you should hear it. "Worrying is like praying for things that you don't want" So stop worrying and start praying and enjoying.


answers from Miami on




answers from Los Angeles on

I had two miscarriages, then successful pregnancy, then another miscarriage that sounds very similar your second one, then another successful pregnancy. I had a REALLY hard time not worrying throughout the entire pregnancies. It's hard when it is so out of our control. Truly, what helped me through this last pregnancy was my doctor. She's been my doctor since the first miscarriage, so she knows my history well. I was totally neurotic with my last pregnancy and she would see me - literally almost every week for the first trimester. She told me I could call and come in whenever - not that she could do anything to prevent miscarrying, but it was for my own peace of mind that everything was still developing appropriately. Once I passed the first trimester, I felt MUCH better, though the annoying worry never went away completely. Hopefully you have a doctor that is empathetic to your worries and can help ease your mind.

Meditation and relaxation helped me as well. Just a few minutes each evening to focus on positivity and to clear my head of the stress and anxiety. I wish you the best of luck!



answers from Omaha on

I just had a baby 6 months ago. I have had 5 miscarriages in my life. One right before, as in a month before, I got pregnant with my Lex. Anyways the first 12 weeks I lived in fear. Anxiety that was unbelieveable. I got an US at every appointment and was sure each time there would be no heart beat. I would look away and watch my husband so he would be the one to tell me either way. If he smiled I would be elated and could then look at the screen. One time I had a tad bit of spotting and I layed on the floor in a little ball in the bathroom crying my eyes out. My husband had to pick me up and take me back to the bed.

Then the second trimester started and I counted down the days to week 24, viability. Had a scare again at 17 weeks and when I was told if there was something wrong nothing could be done I was just sure so I got an emergency ultrasound and all turned out well.

Then after viability I was just sure my baby would pass and be a stillborn.

So I think you get my point. I never stopped. Once you've seen you can be one of the bad statistics you get a reality check that kills all niavity. I wasn't alone. I joined a miscarriage support group and all of them were just like me. We awaited our rainbow babies so scared yet so so so hopeful. It was great to be part of a support group I must tell you. I'd highly suggest it. Be it online or in your community. This won't be an easy road. I've been scared stiff all of my 3 successful pregnancies.



answers from Minneapolis on


Your history sounds almost exactly like mine - two early miscarriages like yours. Then another positive test, but my period came three days later. My next pregnancy went perfectly well, and my daughter is now 8! As others have said, miscarriages are so common, and there is nothing you can do to make it happen or not happen. So it is hard, but try to relax and enjoy this time.



answers from Madison on

I too had several miscarriages before getting and staying pregant. I can't say it is easy at all! I feel for you and I'm sorry you are going through this.

One of my truths was that the body is an amazing thing and that miscarriages are purposeful such that most-of-time healthy babies are born! How smart is that?

One of my other truths was that my heart ached so so much during that process. I had to keep digging deeper to love myself in as many ways as I could during this process. It could be simply not rushing around, doing things I love that I felt fully involved with, watching movies that made me happy - things like that. I think it is hard to separate the sense of failure with having miscarriages. Not just in the eyes others, but (mainly) for myself. Also, it seemed that each time I did get pregnant - if only for 6-8 weeks - the desire to be and stay pregnant would grow, so much so that it could be overwhelming at times. My suggestion - try not to go there. Practice non-attachment - which is of course MUCH easier said than done. Be sure you have things in your life going on that you feel good about and have a sense of accomplishment. And, hopefully, you have at least one person who will take you in their arms, whenever you ask, and just hold you for as long as you want.

Good luck - my heart goes out to you. Peace.



answers from Lincoln on

I am so sorry you've had to experience the pain of miscarriage. I got pregnant with my daughter four years ago very easily and had a perfect pregnancy and labor. Almost two years later, I got pregnant again and had a miscarriage. I had two more that same year and the doctors never figured out why. I then found out this past March that I am again pregnant. I constantly worried the first 3 weeks but really just put it in God's hands. I tried not to think about it but I will admit that I just 'assumed' it would also end in miscarriage. When I first saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks, I became more hopeful. When we saw it again at 10 weeks I felt a huge weight of relief that was unimaginable and wonderful. I am now 19 weeks along and amazed that this baby will be ours!
To answer your question, I don't think it's possible to not worry about having another miscarriage. I know stress doesn't help the baby thrive so try mild exercise like walking and yoga to help. One of the positives in all of this is that it has made me so much more grateful for my daughter. You'll be in my prayers - good luck!



answers from Sheboygan on

I didn't read any of the other posts yet, so sorry if I am repeating.
There is no way to not worry. I wish that there was! My husband and I experienced several m/c's over a 7 year span, and when we finally were successfully pregnant with our twins (all natural! :) ), I worried the whole pregnancy. Thankfully, it stuck! I got pregnant again when they were 7 1/2 months old (I am 37w now), and am still worrying that something might go wrong. The only sure way to get through it is one day at a time. I made a calendar that had a countdown of days on it, and put goals on certain days. When I would hit a goal day (generally every 1 1/2 - 2 wks), I would do something for myself to help relax. A couple of times I went and got my hair done, had a pregnancy massage (when I hit was AWESOME!), and stuff like that. It helps me to think in the short term during my pregnancy, so I don't spaz out. :) My current goal is to keep baby in until Father's Day (tomorrow!), and then after that it will be to keep baby in until our scheduled c-section on July 1st. If I make it through tomorrow, I get to go and get waxed (though I don't know if that will help me relax, but it's something that will make me feel better since I can't do it myself this time! lol), and if I make it to our scheduled c/s, I get to go and buy a new jogging stroller.
Good luck to you! And congratulations!



answers from Minneapolis on

I can't help you not worry, but I can tell you that worry is a toxic emotion with no benefits! Every pregnancy is different. My breasts were only sore for a week or so with my second pregnancy, and I had very few other symptoms that early on with either pregnancy. (I guess I should explain that I had a miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant, followed by 2 successful pregnancies, but the possibility of miscarriage was in the back of my mind during both full-term pregnancies) If you find yourself overwhelmed with worry, engage in an activity that uses both sides of your body. Your brain can't maintain anxiety while both hemispheres are employed in physical activity. Try meditation, focusing on your breath or on positive thoughts of your baby, and just stay active for the next couple of weeks before you find out the status of your pregnancy for sure. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!


answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I know how hard it is not to worry. I have been there 2 times. I was never so happy to have morning sickness. If you can call your doctor. Maybe he/she can do blood tests to make sure your HCG levels are rising and check your progesterone levels too. Its a little early for an ultrasound, you won't see much, but you could ask.

Good Luck.

For the record you never stop worrying. I still worry every day about my 26 year old as much as the 6 year old!



answers from Minneapolis on

First, I'd like to say I'm so sorry you experienced the miscarriages. I, too, had a chemical pregnancy last year after trying to get pregnant for 2 years. You can imagine the disappointment. Right now, I am almost 13 weeks pregnant, and all has gone well so far. Like you, I've gone through some really tough days of worrying, especially early on with a day of spotting and some days that my breasts were no longer tender and I didn't "feel" pregnant. For me, the one thing that carried my through it all (and still is) is my Christian faith and some really positive, encouraging friends. I don't know where you stand on the religious issue, but if you want some Bible verses to "stand on", let me know and I can send them to you. The most important thing is to find that one thing that gives you the support you need to stay as positive as possible. And don't beat yourself up for the days you can't seem to stay possible. It happens and I believe it's normal with any sort of miscarriage history, and that's not even figuring in the hormonal/emotional side of things. In the meantime, I recommend talking to your doctor about your anxiety. I've been lucky enough to have a great nurse practitioner that has told me I can come in every single week to hear the heartbeat if I feel like I need to. (In fact, I switched to my current doctor after having a horrible experience regarding the chemical pregnancy with my last doctor. Let's just say they were very insensitive.) I wish you the best with your pregnancy! I think this site is a great place to get support, so ask for it whenever you need it.



answers from Milwaukee on

Do your breasts get sore around your period? At first only my nipples were sensitive with my pregnancies until a little later. I miscarried one of my pregnancies too and it's hard. With the next pregnancy I had the atitude what will happen will happen and there is nothing I could do about it. I have a healthy 3 yr old. I know it's hard to stay positive but stressing out isn't good either. Congrats and I hope all your worries are for nothing.



answers from Minneapolis on

I'm so sorry for your losses, you are in my prayers. The only thing I can tell you is that my pregnancy with my son was the same way. I would have sore breasts one day and then the next, only the nipples would be sore. I worried too, but I ended up just having a very mild almost symptomless pregnancy :). I pray that the same will be true for you! I know too that hormone levels are not really high yet at 5 weeks to cause a lot of symptoms. Most women don't even know they're pregnant until they're closer to 8 or 9 weeks sometimes! God bless.



answers from Omaha on

at 5 weeks, yeah symptoms are a bit vague at this time unless you may be proned to morning sickness and then that usually doesn't hit until the baby attaches itself to the uterus wall. As a mother who has 7 miscarriages between living child and 1 still born it is a hard situation but what I did after the 7th was say... I am going to take sometime and try not to get pregnant, well guess it... I did get pg and it stuck this time. Anxiety/stress can be a problem during pregnancy. My still born child was born was multiple birth defects so I am glad that she didn't survive, selfish I know but no matter what I wanted she would never have survived outside the womb. Is this your first pregnancy? If so I would check with your Dr and see if you continue to have miscarriages that it could be a genetic problem between your spouse & yourself, as it was in our case, we did have one more child who is perfectly normal but he was our miracle and decided not to have anymore children after him. We both had children from different relationship but something between us was not genetically compatable. Seek counseling if you continue to have miscarriages. God Bless...Keep the faith and I will hope and pray that you are pg and that everything is well.



answers from Sacramento on

Try to relax and enjoy every moment you can. I had a successful pregnancy / birth of a baby boy, then miscarried when we tried again (7 weeks) When I started spotting I took another test - positive. The bleeding got worse so I tested again - still positive. All the tests I took were positive, yet I miscarried?! No discernable reason as to why the body rejects a fertilized egg other than a defect that is out of your control. I now have had a second successful pregnancy / delivery of my baby girl in October. I worried the entire time. I started spotting and worried. I started bleeding more heavily and worried even more. Not even the doctor in the ER could explain why. Take it easy - no lifting! Baby yourself, you're carrying precious cargo! Lack of "normal pregnancy" symptoms doesn't mean anything is wrong. Some women have "perfect" pregnancies w/ NO sickness or anything and deliver healthy babies. Take it one day at a time and remember that jsut because you've had miscarriage (or 2) before doesn't mean you'll lose this baby. (On a side note - I was afraid that my body wasn't producing enough Progesterone on it's own to support a growing baby. So I began using Progesterone cream through out the first trimester to be sure my body was getting enough. This may be something you wan tto discuss w/ your dr.)



answers from Indianapolis on

My comments come as a mom diagnosed with cancer after the birth of a child and always worrying about that.

Anxiety and worry are OK. Everyone handles it differently. It's easy for someone to tell you not to worry - it's probably not part of their nature. But, for those of us who do, it's not easily let go.

But, I do agree that it won't change things. So, if possible, try to channel the energy elsewhere. When my cancer diagnosis came, I was 10.5 weeks postpartum, my son turned 2 the following day, I'd returned from Maternity Leave the week before, and it seemed like it all hit at once. My saving grace was work. I could channel my energies into having to do a job and not focusing each moment on possibly having a devastating outcome.

In the end, there's little you can do to change the outcome if your body can't successfully carry a baby, or if nature deems the growing embryo unfit. It doesn't lessen the pain and the impact.

Not a day goes by, 2 years later, that I don't worry and think "what if". I just have to make sure to make the most of the time I do have and hope for the best.

Good luck!



answers from Pittsburgh on

It's tough, I know. I had three miscarriages before my son was born. Just hang in there as much as you can. You cannot change the outcome O. way or another. I wish and hope and pray for a healthy pregnancy for you!

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