Valentines Day/ Eating Out

Crack up laughing and tell her you will remember that when she has kids and wants you to baby sit so she can go out with her hubby lol. She is just being a selfish 15 year old. It wasn’t until my son was about 1 year old that it even dawned on me that a parent would want to do something that had nothing to do with there child and possibly even something that there child wouldn’t like. Just tell her that sometimes its not about her.

She is 15 and doesn't quite get it yet. Life is still a party to her. She will never get it until she has a husband or serious boyfriend of her own. You explained you needed alone time and that should be good enough. Just tell her its mom and dad night and she can go another time.

Oh G.!

Your daughter was an only child for 10 years and evidently still thinks the world should revolves around her. It is time for a little attitude adjustment. She can stay home and take care of little brother this year while you and dad have a “deserved” romantic dinner.

Who picked up the tab last year? If she feels like she is old enough to date, then she and her boyfriend should be earning their spending money. Personally I wouldn’t have allowed a 14 year old to date. I think 16 is appropriate unless kids are going out in groups to things such as movies, bowling, skating, supervised events, etc.

The problem of letting kids do grown up things too soon without any of the financial responsibilities is that they get the feeling of entitlement and their parents pay for everything and are also their personal chauffeurs.

It is time for your daughter to understand that Mom and Dad have individual needs and feelings and she should acknowledge and accept the fact that things aren’t always going to go her way. If she’s good about you and dad having a date night on a regular basis, then you can reward her for babysitting little brother or chores you establish for her to do while you are out. If she isn’t then restrict her social life. I think you might see a pleasant change.

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day date with your man!

Blessings….

Do not let her manipulate you or make you feel guilty! If it were my daughter I'd reply "Are you serious? At 15 you still need to know what a date is? Your dad and I are going on a DATE. Do you want me going with you everytime you and your boyfriend go somewhere?" She's forgetting that you are a couple, not just "mom and dad".

we'll ask her if she would ALWAYS like for you & hubby to join her and her friends(boy)

You're the parent- you don't need to negotiate this with her! Make reservations for two, hire a sitter for your son and go out. If she and her boyfriend want to do something, offer to drop them off at a cafe on the way and pick them up after. They can pick-up thier own tab.

This is how I answered my kids: If you don't think I need quiet time/"alone" time with your dad, than you don't need it with your friends. So I planned to spend LOTS of time with my kids/their friends. When I heard them start to plan something, I got right in the middle of it, told them what I thought would be fun, where "we" should go, even asked what I should wear. My kid was mortified and VERY QUICKLY got the idea. Sometimes you just need to help them see it through your eyes I guess. Remembering the look on his face when he thought I was going to hang out with him still makes me smile!

You're the parent. Just tell her no!

No, you're not wrong. In another 15 years, your daughter will be so grateful that she had/has a strong parental unit to raise her. She is just at a feisty age right now, and feels the need to be included in everything. If she is like other 15 year olds, she feels that she is not a kid anymore, and is ready to see what the adults are all about. This will pass. :) As soon as she can drive, you might wish she wanted dinner with you more often. But, you and your husband absolutely need a night out. If you all have given her the responsibility maybe she can stay home and watch her brother while you and your husband are out, to make some money for her (parent approved)outing. You would have to have those outings on separate days, of course, maybe you and Dad can have Saturday and she can have Sunday (or you all do something together on Sunday).

Either way - have a happy V-Day. :)

Just say no. I second the pizza idea. Maybe she can stay with a friend.

I suggest that you have a serous talk with your daughter and ask her to start looking for a part time job, so she can take herself out, when She wants; and to let you & hubby have some private time! This sounds as if she is a bit selfish here for her age. I have a 8 yr. old and a 5 yr. ld, who understand, that occasionally, my husband and I need time alone together! They don't always like the ideal, but they always understand; and give us no head-ache when we do go out together! If a 5 yr. old 7 8yr. old can comprehend the need for together time, then your daughter should understand it more clearly! If she is bored at home, let her volunteer to help, other children like Big Sisters, help the elderly, special needs, ect. I pray that God guides your family in this matter!!! Sincerely,
Kathy N. & Family

Hi there,

No - you're not wrong that you and your hubby need to have time alone. But maybe for special days (like Valentine's), you and your family can go out together. And then when you know your daughter has a lot of homework or plans with her boyfriend or her friends, you and your hubby can make your date nights alone. You have to look at it from your daughter's point of view. Although she's not able to understand that a married couple does indeed need to have alone time, it is truly a wonderful blessing that she wants to be with you all the time. There are plenty of 15 year olds that don't even speak to their parents. So just work around it as best you can. Best wishes!
E.

Valentine's Day is also my anniversary so we go out for lunch to beat the rush at dinner time. We don't like having to wait almost 2 hours for a table at night. Go during the day & leave her at home!

order them pizza.. and go with your hubby... good luck
also you can find a place to go out to that they wouldn't want to go to.. like tell her you are going to wine tasting.. and under 21 isn't allowed... or just say no.. here's your pizza ... and go

Maybe my husband and I are softies and we're parents of a toddler. I say let her come with you to a casual place and make a romantic date with your husband another day. My husband always says to me, "she's going to not want you around when she's older so you might as well let her be with you when she wants to while she does". That made me think a little bit and I've become a little pushover lately. At least if her and her boyfriend hangs out with you, you'll know what she's up to.

very tricky. you need time alone with your husband, but you cpuld do that anytime. valentine's day, at least for me, is about including your kids too. at least we always do. we make it special for them with little gifts, we all dress up, and enjoy a night out. we don't take our kids out at night almost never because of their bedtime, so they look forward to valentine's because it's a treat for them to go out at night.
so i guess my suggestion is take them all out, then organize a night for you and your husband alone.

She is old enough to understand the 'husband/wife' relationship...how about a special Valentine Breakfast complete with heart pancakes and strawberries, little heart boxes filled with a bracelet for her a car for him, or gift cards to the mall for both...at breakfast tell them (while holding hands with Dad), "we are going out for a romantic dinner 2nite, would you please watch your brother for us? Pizza delivery and movie rental is on us!"

you are completely right in wanting time alone with your hiusband and it is actually a good practice for your daughter to see that mom and dad love each other and want time alone! This is just like any other teenage dispute, they are not getting something they want- reality. She needs to learn that everything is not about her. I would talk to her privately and say, "don't you want your father and I to enjoy time together?" and show her how to be happy for someone else's pleasure. Then go on your date (often)! Have fum!

By 15 she should understand that parents need their own time together (especially if she has a boyfriend). Does your daughter want you to go with her on her dates?

If she's not mature enough to understand this, then just tell her "Your father and I are going out together to celebrate". There's no reason for her to get mad.

Another way to handle this is for all 4 of youto go out (not on Valentine's Day) for a family dinner.

Maybe she needs a mother/daughter day.

Just remember how lucky you are to have a 15 year old that wants to do things with you!! My kids are like that and people coment on it all the time -they say there kids never go any where with them.
However I do agree you need some alone time now and then-does she have a friend she can go do something with? If she went and did her own thing she wouldnt feel left out.

Let her get mad honey - most teenagers are mad daily about something - my almost 13 year old has started that phase. "Life's not fair wah wah wah" I realize that sounds harsh, but don't give in now or she will get the upper hand and then you are done for. She is just jealous. My neice, who is 18, still follows my sister around everywhere - her's stemms from insecurity issues though. Does your daughter still have a "boyfriend"? I'm sure it stems from that and not you 2 personally. She will be fine, a week from then she won't even care.

M. F

i think you need time alone ,, however this 15 year old should be able to go to dinner but home with supervision too young