Two Year Old and New Baby

I just have a little bit of advice for you. My oldest son was two when we brought our next one home. One morning after I fed and burped him, I went to shower, when I got out the 2 yr old was pushing a full size pillow into the newborns face. I ran to him so frantically, worried that he wasn't going to be breathing. He was fine but I felt so guilty (and still do) if I hadn't gotten there in time. When I asked my 2yr old why he dud that, he told me he wouldn't stop crying. That was the last time I took a mid morning shower until my little guy could walk.

My sone was not quite 17 months when my second was born. It really wasn't as hard as people make it out to be. He adapted quickly and liked having a baby brother around :)

Nursing will actually make this much easier on you! You won't be spending time getting bottles eady, holding a bottle in one hand and baby in the other, etc...All you have to to is lift your shirt, attach baby, and then you can do something like read to your toddler! Nursing time can become family time. Consequently, you'll be teaching your toddler that his needs can be met while the baby's are met, but that the baby's need to eat will be coming all the time and you'll have to meet that immediate need quickly.
I never read that making the toddler a helper was bad. My son LOVED having a purpose in the baby's care. He could get me a diaper if I needed it, or a bottle of water sitting across the room. All toddlers like to feel like they are helping, I don't see why having a new baby would change that :( Obviously you can't stop attending to your toddler, but to say you shouldn't invite them to help seems like a disservice to them:(

Get a sling or soft carrier (Ergo, Baby Hawk, Becco, NOT crotch carriers like Bjorn) and just wear your infant. You'll have your hands free to attend to the toddler and once you get used to it, you can even nurse in the sling which will save you time and leave you open to doing things like making dinner without sitting down to nurse. Though I always welcomed the break and a chance to sit down and nurse :)

Congratulations on your upcoming birth! Such happy and exciting days. I have 6 children, and have never had a moment of sibling angst. :) I have always had my toddler be my big helper. It is right and good and natural. I don't force them to do it, but I have found that they are normally very eager to go help grab a diaper or whatever. Of course, he will naturally still be a toddler and very needy. But, that doesn't mean he can't also be a helper. I gush to them about how much the baby loves them. I tell them thank you. We are a team, so to speak, who work together to take care of "our" baby. Also, just as a helpful tip, before you start nursing at any given time, make sure your toddler has a snack or a drink. He inevitably will want one as soon as you sit down. They have a knack for that. Trust me on it. And, you might want to grab a book or two that you can read to your son as you nurse the baby. He can snuggle right in with you and enjoy that closeness. I know that as a mommy it is sometimes hard to sit still for too long to read or whatever. Nursing is the perfect time for that. You might want to get a couple of other things that he enjoys prepared for that time. You could have a little bag of special things for him to use during that time. Enjoy your baby, *expecting* that your son will be thrilled and joyful about everything. Never, ever plant a seed of discontent in his mind. He won't know any different unless someone tells him he should be concerned. And, as hard as it is to explain, your love just multiplies. You will get more than you ever had before. You will not have to borrow from your son to love your baby.More is born with the baby. Enjoy!!

I just had my 2nd baby (girl) about 6 months agao. My son was 2 1/2 when she was born. It was a huge adjustment. I felt horrible and cried a lot but now i LOVE having the 2!! It is a lot of work but they absolutly adore eachother. I let my son help with things if he wants and if he dont that is ok to. I will say the one thing i have found to really help is getting on a routine. Especially at bedtime. I put my baby down first around 7 and my son goes to bed by 8. That way he still has a little time with just me for bedtime. Before we had this routine i would still lay the baby down in our room and if she cried she cried for a few minutes while i read a book or 2 to my son, said prayers and tucked him in. He needs that time at night for us. I was told by my pediatrician if the 2 are both crying and to tend to your older one first because they are the ones whos feelings will be hurt and tend to the baby next. Obviously dont let the baby cry for to long but you can still tend to your toddlers needs first quick. Just do lots of hugs and kisses and tell him how much the baby loves him and point out how he is a big boy and can do all this fun stuff and the baby cant do that stuff yet. It makes them feel more important i think. It will get easier and watching them togeather as the baby grows will be so much fun and such a blessing. Congrats on the new baby!!

Give your son as much time as you can. When the baby is asleep, play with your son rather than doing chores. Let your baby cry a little before getting him or her so your son knows he's still important. Your son may like being a big brother. It will all work out. As long as your kids know you love them, everything will be fine. Good luck.

I agree with Tonya. Let your child be a helper if he wants, but do not demand it.

Include your toddler in the waking hours of nursing time and bond together.

Snacks and reading books is an excellent suggestion :)

All I can say, is the more inclusive you are with all of your children with the process, the easier it will be.

First he is demanding now because he is a toddler. When the new baby comes, you will need to worry about your time with him. Both of them being young in age WILL require individual attention, just different stages of it. So don't neglect your 2 yr old on account of saying he is now "big boy". He will still be a baby who will demand your attention until he is 4 or 5. It will be difficult but plan ahead the type of activities that will attract him so that when and if you are spending time with the baby he doesn't get tantrumy. Schedule time with him during baby naps, let hubby hold baby or him while you joggle both. At least they won't be fighting for toys since the baby will be an infant, but if you are nursing that is when you might have issues. For most part, the new baby will sleep most of the time and remember, your 2yr old isn't going to be 2 forever.

Congratulations! My to oldest are 23 months apart, and my oldest was (and is) a high maintenance kiddo :) There weren't any issues, he was excited about his brother's arrival, because we all were. He loved to help, bring me diapers, wipes, etc. I never required him to, he quickly hopped up and helped out on his own. So let him help as much as he is inclined, but I wouldn't force it on him. He was included in everything, so he felt a part of Collin's care, not forced out for any reason. I did nurse (have with all 4 of my kids), and that was one of the best times to spend with my oldest. Whenever I was nursing, Collin was happy and quiet, so Jerod and I could read, play cars, do puzzles, enjoy cuddling because it was a time I had to sit and relax with both of them. Not to mention that I didn't have to spend any extra time preparing and cleaning bottles!! And nursing allows you the luxury of calming a fussy baby at the breast, so there was less "noise" in the house, making a calmer environment.

Just relax about the relationship between your "babies" and he will feel the joy of a younger sibling instead of the stress, making the adjustment easier for him. Include him and love him just as you have been! Do not leave them unattended together - you'll need to get a feel as to how he is around the baby. Even though he wouldn't mean to hurt the baby, little guys don't always know their own strength, and how fragile babies are. Taking the baby in the bathroom with you in a car seat or bouncy seat for showers, etc. will help there. My oldest are now 11 and 9 - I promise you will do fine! Take care!