Twins Sleep in Their Own Bed in Their Own Room

Hi N.! I have twins, and as hard as it was, I had them with me for the first six months. From what I have read, when you are close by, and respond quickly to them, it helps to start a foundation of a strong self esteem. I know- at three months who thinks about self esteem- but the babies need to know that you will always be close by. Oh- and if you can, try to keep the babies together- that way they can sooth one another. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me. My twins are now 27 months, and I think that I may have some answers to questions that may come up.

All three of my girls slept with me up to age one. Mostly because of breastfeeding. It's so much easier to just roll over and feed KWIM! After the first birthday we transitioned them to their own room and bed. We would read a book, cuddle a little then say good night. It only took about a week and they did just fine. I would rather hear my one year old cry than my newborn.
All that said. You gotta do what works best for you.

Our kids stayed in our room until they were about 3 months old. After that, they were sleeping at least 6 hours in a row. The problem with them being in our room is that babies are noisy sleepers (they would sometimes even cry in their sleep) and I kept waking up even when they weren't! Because they have each other, sleeping in a room without you should be easier. Don't sleep on the couch! They can and will adjust to whatever situation you need them too.

N.:

I am a first-time mom of G/B 5-month old twins. They have slept in their own bed since day one. They did sleep in seperate cradles in our room until they were about 7-8 weeks old, but after that they have been in their room together. We do have a monitor, so if one of them does awaken during the night, we can hop up quickly and tend to them. They have been sleeping through the night since they were about 2 1/2-3 months old. Now, they sleep 11-12 hours straight. I have always heard stories how mothers' want to break their child from sleeping in their room as toddlers, I think it is important that they learn to sleep in their own room from an early age, so that when they are toddlers they know their room from your room. But, I know that what works for one mother does not always work for another, so you should do what you feel is right for you and your babies. Good luck!

At three months old, I would not worry about them still being in the room with you. You need to get rest and being in your own bed is probably more restful, unless their every movement keeps you awake. I think you are right to make the move to their own beds if they have been sleeing with you, you need your best rest so you can take the best care of them.

C. R. Mother of 16 year old twins plus an 8 year old.

Hey N.. I am a single mom of 14 month old twins. You prob should get them used to sleeping in their own beds right now. I am not saying that they cant still sneak in with you for several more months. Something that would make it alot easier is to have them sleep in the same crib together until they get so big they are keeping one another awake. They are used to being near each other so it is comforting for them, and you will rest better without worrying about them being in bed with you. Also it will come to be a problem later. It is hard to get them to move out of your bed and you wont sleep well at all! They may be little but they can sure still room for three grown men! As for being in the same room...dont worry about it right now! Mine are still in the same room with me. It is alot more convienent right now for them to be close by and they are still sleeping through everything. There will come a time that they will be able to hear when you get in and out of bed and that is when you need to worry about getting your own room. That is when you begin to disturb each others sleep and it becomes a problem for all of you. Mine are there right now and I need to move out. You moving out of the room wont have too much effect on them later on so just stay put.

What you need to do is start them off in thier crib IN your room right next you your bed, that way they know you are right there. Dont be suprised when they cry. Put them in their crib (preferably a twin crib or where they can sleep next to eachother) three times before you bring them into bed with you and keep that up for a week, then try 4 times etc until you can put them in w/out tears or minimal. Then begin separating your bed and thier cribs once they are comfy with what you are doing now until they are in their own room and if that means they are asleep in the hallway for a week that's what it means. I did the same with my son (hallway sleep not needed for us) and he still has some issues but he's over the I MUST SLEEP WITH MOM OR NOTHING ELSE thing. Once you begin cosleeping it's difficult to get out of with out stress on everyone's part. I knew it would be for us and he is actually going through a cosleeping needed phase right now, just stick with it.

I nannied for twins when I was in college and I remember that the kids slept in their parent's bed until they were 1. They transitioned well to their own beds/room and the mom thought that maybe it was because the kids had each other. My son slept with us until he was about 6 moths old. We kicked him out as soon as he wasn't waking up at night to eat. It was easier for me to have him there to feed him...it was probably a bit of laziness on my part, but it worked for us. He didn't have any problems, even though so many people told us we were making a huge mistake by letting him sleep in out bed. I braced myself for a week or so of crying, but it didn't happen. I was actually quite surprised. You will figure out what works the best for you. Good Luck!

I didn't put my son in his own room until he was about 9 months old.

I don't see any problem in having them sleep in the same room with you now, they are still so young!

Hey N. I think sleeping anywhere but next to 3 month old twins is an insane concept. Your getting a good nights sleep is just as necessary as their getting a good night sleep and if it is working with all of you being together in one room then so be it. I would not make any change right now they are young and if they want to be close to you then let it be. There will be plenty of time to transition them to another room without you in it and to be honest- it will be alot easier and alot less stressful for you if when you do that transition if you are in a place of your own that you dont have to worry about everyone else and how many times you or the twins or everyone else in the house may get woke during the night. I dont have twins but I have kept both of my kids in my room with us for the first 6 months and then moved them to their rooms once they had better and more consistent sleeping habits. They wont miss you as much as you think because they still have each other to share a room together so it wont be bad. Do yourself a favor just concentrate on getting sleep and doing whatever it takes to get it. You are doing a great job and kids are amazingly resilient and adaptable it will be fine later.
Good luck

Hi N.,
Both of my girls slept in our room for the first six months of their lives and then we moved them to their own room. They were in a bassinet in our room and then a crib when moved to their room. We made the transition slower by taking naps in their room first and then doing night time. Hang in there and just love them right now...they are so little.

K.

I think it's important they sleep in their own bed. But I don't see a problem with their beds in your room. They are so little, and for you it is probably easier to have them so close at night.
2 of my 3 sons slept in our bedroom till about 7 months. Than we just moved them to an other room, no crying. The other one slept in our room for 6 weeks (he was always making so much noise, we woke up a couple of times a night, so we kicked him out. But with the feedings, I prefer to have them in our bedroom a little longer)
But most important is to have them in their own bed.
And at age 2,5 they will try to sneak in your bed, you will see! But that's a whole other story...

Take care, I.

Both of my kids, now 13 and 14, slept in my room until they were 8 months old...in a cradle next to my bed...naps were in their room which was right next door....there was no problem switching them..........I left my husband when my youngest was 2 mom and she slept for months in a carriage next to the couch I was on......when we got our own place she had a crib in the room with her brother (14 mos older)...no problems.....good luck to you........btw, I have degree in drawing and painting....lol

B.

Aaww N., I went through the same thing with my kids, from my personal opinion, enjoy them as much as you can, do not drastically change the habits, you can start by slowly sleeping away on the couch 2times, then 3times, and so on. Also, another thing that I did was spray your sweater with a little bit of your own parfum, and put it next to them so that they can dream and feel that you are there with them. It seriously works. I have a 10 year old, a 7 year old, and a 5 year old. Good Luck.

A couple of questions first... Do they sleep with you, as in the same bed? Or are they in their own crib just in the same room with you? Same bed is a problem, same room is easy to fix.
Here is my experience...
My son, Max, is 18 months old and has yet to sleep through the night. My husband and I never put him in bed with us for two reasons 1. we're both paramedics and know the safety risks (SIDS increases to the 80ith precentile) when a baby sleeps with an adult, and 2. we didn't want to 'get that started' - we didn't want a 10 year old we couldn't get out of our bed (good birth control, however). He went to his own bed in his own room at almost 7 months old, but he continues to wake up at least twice and as much as six times a night. Being a 'make it all alright' type of mom, I quickly run to his rescue just to realize he doesn't really need me. His doctor told us to let him cry and only go check on him if he cries longer than 5 minutes (or whatever time we set) or if his cry is truly different. And eventually he'll learn to sleep through the night. No way! No respectable mother can listen to their baby cry for any amount of time and not go check. It's my belief that babies cry for a reason (and spoiled is NOT a reason). I worked an overnight shift just last night, and my husband called to say Max woke up only once. He let him cry, and Max was asleep three minutes later. A blood curdling scream would have prompted him to the rescue, but his was Max's usual nighttime routine. So Max showed us that he is capable of putting himself back to sleep, now it's up to me to be consistent with letting him. At least there a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel = )
Here is my advice...
Your babies, on the other hand, are too young for this approach. They may be hungry, wet, hot, cold, gassy, sick, etc so the reasons for crying are different. Being only three months old, start making the permanent adjustment now. Put them in the same crib or bassinet or playyard because twins thrive on being with each other at this point. Being seperated stresses them out and they can help comfort each other too. That's a plus on your side. Max's doctor also told us to sit in his presence at bedtime with no contact. That's worked for us. As long as he can glance at me every minute or two while he's drifting off, he's happy. I don't have to rock him or pat him anymore. Just keep this in mind as your twins get older. Max loves his mobile that projects lights on the walls and ceiling, but at 3 months old, the stimulation could be enough to keep them awake. I hope some of this information is helpful to you. And my kudos on being a good mom especially with twins. I can only imagine!

I agree with Kristina. We did the same thing with our son to get him used to sleeping in his own room. He co-slept with us untill just before our daughter was born (2 1/2 years). That was a BIG MISTAKE!!! I felt horrible when I had to move him out, but it worked and he has been sleeping in his own bed for the last 5 years (he is now 8). I do think that you would want the twins close to you at this age, but they need to be in a seperate bed so that transitioning to their own room, when the time is right will be that much easier. With my son we put him on a pallet at the foot of our bed for about a week, moved it across the room for about a week, then near the door for about a week...and so on until he was in his own room and chose his bed over the pallet. Good luck to you and whatever works for you and the twins will be the best decision.

N.....I feel that all mother's feel differently about this!! I Have 3 girls all 18 months apart and I breastfed all of them until they were 1 year old. I let each of them sleep in our bed with us untill they were ready to leave & TRUST me by the time they reach 18 months to 2 years old they are READY for thier own BIG KID BED!!!
Now if one of them has a scary dream, or feels that the need some extra mommy time, or wants to snuggle then they know that they can come into our room! I feel that they are MUCH MORE SECURE & CONFIDENT than ALOT of thier freinds are--that weren't allowed to sleep next to thier parent(s)!! My kids have NEVER had to have one special blanket or toy to feel secure!
BOTTOM LINE-----Do what works for YOU-your sanity, sleep & mental health-& your kids will be happy TOO!!!! Remember a HAPPY MOMMY make HAPPY BABIES!!!!
WE all do the best we can & after all what more can anyone ask for!!!
P.S. they all sleep in thier rooms in thier beds 99% of the time--so don't believe the nay-sayers!!! It will all work out in the end!!! AND THEY REALLY DO GROW UP TOO FAST!!!!