Sleep - Saginaw, MI

Hi D., my son is now 7 years old. He never slept until last December. I was tired all the time. 7 years of no sleep. A friend mentioned on day giving him Melatonin. I had never heard of it before. It is sold over the counter and it is a GNC product. You can buy cherry flavored chewables in one mg. My 2 year old nephew takes it some times as well. You can read studies about Melatonin on-line. It has been a life saver for me. Nothing else I tried ever worked.

B.

Hi D.~
This is a tough topic b/c you'll get all kinds of advice, but nobody is actually in your shoes right now but you! I agree that crying it out isn't a good idea b/c not only is it not working for your little guy, you certainly can't relax and sleep if he is crying. Certainly there is a difference btwn fussing and crying, but it sounds like your guy is all out screaming. I don't agree that sleeping with him will help you get any rest, and you'll just have to break the habit later, delaying not solving the problem. I like Carleen's advice to leave the room if your little one can understand "be right back" and stretching it longer and longer. Also, giving him a distraction like a flashlight or a kids projector might help him play until he is sleepy. The gate on the door will help keep him in his room but not feel locked in, and if you empty his room of all toys except a few that could be allowed at bedtime, you might distract him from crying. That assumes you would put him in a toddler bed, though, which might be what you have to do. He'll have enough freedom not to cry for you, and he will go to sleep eventually, even if it is on the carpet (which won't hurt him a bit). A few days of it and he'll get the idea, and even get into bed when he is about to fall asleep. Most importantly is routine! If you don't already, make sure there is a bedtime routine in place and bedtime is the same every night. Also, I have found that if my boys don't get enough sleep during the day, they don't sleep well at night! Despite what you would think, overtired babies dont sleep well. Typically, a baby can only stay up about 2 hours at a time before they need a snooze! (Yes, I know, my first was the exception to that rule and almost never napped.)
Good luck to you and I hope you find a solution. I have done a lot of research on sleep, and am the proud mommy of 2 incredible sleepers so feel free to msg me!
~L.

Hi D.,
Exactly how old is he? Is he old enough to move into a toddler bed so he doesn't hurt himself? My son would scream for like 45 minutes and I just couldnt find a way for him to go to bed.....I now put one of those little gates in his doorway so he can't come out. Now, when its time for bed, we go up there, he turns on his little flashlight and we play with it for a minute, (i also put those glow in the dark stars on the ceiling) and he gets into bed and I shut his bedroom door all the way. He cries for like a minute or so, but he goes right to sleep now.
Whatever you decide to do, just be consistant. If you go in when he cries, he will continue to cry because he knows no matter what, you're going to come. That will be hard to break, but you need your sleep and your sanity LOL.

Ok i totally just got done dealing with this .. and boy does it suck lol... ok i started out with a bedtime routine such as bath brushing teeth ect. i would put him in his bed tell him goodnight .. his dad would say his prayers with him and i would sit on the bedroom floor with him so he knew i was there i didnt say anything , i didnt look at him or anything ( and yes i got this from supernannny or whatever ) i did that for a couple nights then i move into the hallway right outside his door after a couple nights of that i did the whole ill be right back i have to go potty or get my pajamas on and eventually i didnt have to be in his room or even by the door. i know it may seem easier but i wouldnt put him in the bed with you that just causes a whole new issue with bedtime.. good luck and hope it resolves soon
J.

I had the same problem with my daughter. She definately got much more worked up the longer she cried and did not cry herself to sleep. Also, I hated letting her cry. I started by patting her and "shhh"ing until she fell asleep. I did that for a few days. Then I progessed to sitting in her bedroom for a while until she fell asleep. I'd talk to her if she started crying. Eventually, I'd be able to tell her that I'd be right back, I had to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, put on my pjs, whatever. I'd leave for a few minutes then come back taking longer and longer. Usually she'd fall asleep while I was gone. It took a while because I did each for several nights (as long as necessary) but she's four now and goes to bed and sleeps great. Good Luck!

You already know that Crying it out doesn't work (no matter what people say, it does more harm than good. Even Dr. Ferber the King of Cry it out has revised and recanted his advice) Can you lay down with him in your bed? Sometimes it's easier to sleep with the baby than fight with him to sleep in his own space.

The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly is GREAT She even has a Toddler version of the book.

I feel for you! My DD had trouble sleeping from the day we brought her home from the hospital. Our attempts at the recommended methods always backfired and we ended up with a worse situation than before. We battled through every method out there to get her to sleep on her own. I tried letting her cry it out (6 hrs. and with no sleep, DH missed a day of work), I tried sitting in her room until she settled down (again...3 hrs. on a cold hard floor before giving up at 2am).
Finally, we ended up throwing a mattress on the floor for DD and I to sleep on. I would curl up with her and go to sleep. DH would wake me before he went to bed and I would join him. I left her on the mattress with a baby gate up to keep her from wandering around the house (her room was baby proofed). When she woke up in the night I would go back in and sleep with her again. Gradually and eventually (about 2mo.), she started sleeping through the night and we were able to get her into a crib and off the floor.
When she was able to climb out of the crib, we used a crib tent to keep her in bed since she also liked to climb in bed with the babies.
We had to follow her cues and work within her comfort level. She doesn't respond well to what works for most children. Now, she is a 3 1/2 yr. old very independant child who usually goes to bed without complaint, although she still likes to climb in bed with us around 6am. LOL!

D.,
I have that problem with my son befor he hit a year. There two things I did. One every night I would give him a hot or warm bath. This relaxed him to go to sleep. The othe was to read to him after the bath. I did do as your doctor said but it upsets the family when they hear that every night. What is the problem is your son is scraed that yoou will not be there for him. Is his father with you both? See my x-husband and I where not together at the time. So I knew he was worried I would not be there too. So try the bath and a bedtime reading and see if that helps you.
Sue

I hate to say it, but your doctor is right. You have got to let him scream it out. I have three boys under the age of five and I know what you are going through. Unfortunately, he is used to you giving in and knows it will work and he knows how to play you and is very good at it. They are VERY smart and you have to be the smarter and tougher one. He definately needs to be in his crib (does he get out of that?) and he will eventually fall asleep. He can't scream forever and will make himself so tired he will be exhausted and have no choice to sleep. Don't worry, he won't need therapy when he is 18 because you are doing this. Just be consistent with bedtime and all choices that you make. If you are worried about him hurting himself, well, I wouldn't. If he does, he will learn that is not such a good choice and won't do it again. I am a big believer of letting them figure it out for themselves. If it hurts a few times, they will get it. Just don't rescue him so much and don't go in to calm him down. He needs to learn to do this on his own. It will probably be miserable for three or four days, but in the scheme of things do you want that for week or another year of no sleep? It will be harder for you listening to the screaming than it will be for him going through it, but in the long run it will pay off. Just be tough and brave and I assure you that you will have your life back. I am going through it myself right now. My youngest (almost two) son's clock is off and it takes about three nights to get back on track. He is up the same time every night and the crying gets shorter every night. The first night is the worst! Over an hour of crying! The second is maybe ten minutes and the third is just a couple of minutes.

Let me know how it goes. I would love to hear back from you.

Good luck!!!!!!!!

T.

hi, my son was kind of doing the same thing. he got out around 17months though and the next day we turned his crib into a toddler bed. we thought he'd have problems with it but for the most part he stays in it. to get him to sleep though we usually have to stay in his room for a few minutes till he falls asllep and then we leave. i've hear that's a bad habit but if we don't stay in there which only takes a few minutes then he will be the same way and just sit in there crying and take forever to go to sleep, i'm not sure what you've tried but maybe you could try this and see if it works. and maybe if you can put him over to the toddler bed.

Hi D.!!

Have you ever watched Nanny 911 or Supernanny?? Anyways, one of those shows suggests that you should lay your child down and then sit in their room where they can see you, but you don't look at them or talk to them no matter what. If they get up, you simply go over and lay them back down without looking at them or saying anything and then go sit back down. You do this for however long it takes them to go to sleep. The first night could take hours. Eventually the time will lessen and you'll no longer have to sit in their room, but can actually go to bed yourself if you'd like!! In your case, it sounds like it's worth a try!! I would also suggest before laying your child down, that you establish a "bedtime routine". This could be a lavender bath and a cuddly storytime together before bed, whatever you think is comforting and calming to your child!!!!! Hope this helps!!!!

Hey D.,
If you are a reader try the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I really liked this book. It was very helpful to me. With my first child I let him cry it out. It probably doesn't work for you because he knows that no matter how hard or long he cries you will eventually come and get him. It did work for my son but if you don't want to do that the book gives you other ways. Good luck I know how hard it can be.
Chris

I have a 16 month old little guy and he was having trouble sleeping too. I tell u what no sleep is horrible lol Our problem though was his schedule during the day was messed up. He is a kid that only can sleep 1 hour during the day. He wakes up at 9am. Takes a nap around noon or 1pm. Then goes to bed with the rest of the kids at 9pm. The guys (hubby and uncle) lol were lettin him sleep 3 hours during the day. I could of slapped them lol Anyways maybe evualate his schedule all together. Some babies just need less during the day. My older girls didn't have the problem but my little guy does. We also sit in the room with andy until he is comfortable falling asleep. We had to start with just patting his back. Then just layin our hands on his back. Then sitting accross the room. Now we are in the stag of just sitting accross the room for a minute. Each time just let a little more time pass like the one suggestion go out of the room. Also we have a touch lamp in the room to so it is like a night light. I watched the super nanny myself and it seems like we are doin the same thing. IT WORKS LOL Good luck and stick with whatever u try.

D.,
My Little one did the same thing. And your doctor is right. I let him cry it out and it only took a few days. I turned off the monitor and closed all of the doors. It was hard but it worked. The first night he cried for about 4 hours, the 2nd night it was 3 hours, the 3rd night 1 hour and than it stopped. He has never done it since.
Good luck.
K.