Toddler Bed Question

Updated on May 29, 2008
D.W. asks from Wilmington, NC
20 answers

I have a 19-month-old that is probably ready for a toddler bed. I am not looking forward to this because it already takes him an hour to go to sleep at night because he likes to play. I keep him up til I think he's tired, but as soon as he gets in his crib, he likes to sing and play. There aren't any toys in his bed, nothing. So I know if will be THAT much more difficult once he is in a toddler bed. Any advise on what to do? I have heard of the cameras that I can use to see what he is up to and not have to go up and down the stairs til he is asleep - but I was wondering if anyone could tell me what they do that gets their kids to sleep when they are put in bed.

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L.B.

answers from Nashville on

I had the same situation with my little one, she liked to sing and play in her crib too. When we made the switch to a big girl bed (she went into a double bad) it was a nightmare. She would get out and lay at the door crying until she feel asleep, then we would have to go in her room pick her up off the floor and put her in her bad. After about 4 days she stayed in her bed. However, one year later she still sings and plays with her dolls until she falls asleep. Good luck with the transition.

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J.L.

answers from Charlotte on

D., I never made my little one go right to sleep. We moved her to a toddler bed at 18 months. I put the double bed box spring and mattress on the floor in between the bed frame instead of on slats. That way she could easily crawl in and out. I baby proofed her room, gated her in, put her to bed w/lights on dimmer. If she got up to play or whatever I allowed. I did go back in about every 30 minutes, retuck, etc. Eventually she would put herself in bed and go to sleep. I would then go in and make sure she was in bed under covers, etc. This worked for us. I just made the rule she had to go to her bedroom at 7:30. I encouraged her to go to sleep, but as long as she stayed in her room (gated no choice, but she didn't cry out) ok. She is now 5 1/2. My husband and I put her to bed at night and she stays in her room listening to music, reading etc, but this is her nightime routine from this time period and she sleeps well.

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J.D.

answers from Raleigh on

About 2 weeks ago I moved my 22 month old to a big girls bed because she was climbing out of her crib. We have a problem every night of her coming downstairs (she often sits on the stairs quietly behind us). We have shortened her nap so she is more tired at bed time. We also have to take her in to bed several times. She has gotten better with a swat through her diaper once and since we have told her that if she gets out of bed again she will get another swat. We also have a set routine at night. Dinner, bath, relax, kisses goodnight to everyone, bedtime story and bed. This has been the most helpful. Good luck with your adventures as they are only beginning. I have a 14 year old, a six year old and a 20 month old so I can tell you a story or two.

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C.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I suggest waiting as long as possible to move him to a bed. I made the mistake of moving my first child to a bed when she turned two. We spent the next year trying to keep her in the bed. With our second, I waited until he turned three and could climb out of his crib before moving him to a bed. IT was so much better. We also have used the technique of telling the kids that we will come back in a minute or two and check on them. And then we do it. As they get used to it, the minute can turn into 3, 4 or 5 minutes between checks. This helped keep them in their beds. OTherwise, they want to come find you, but if they know you are coming back, they will stay in bed and eventually drift off to sleep. This even works for my 25month old in her crib. I just come in and give her a little pat and say "love you" and then leave. Takes about 5 seconds. But she is content because she knows I'll come back. Usually I check on her about 5 times (about a minute in between checks) and then she is asleep. And I tell her each time "mom will come back and chekc on you." We finally settled on this technique after a year of our first one popping out of bed from age 2 to 3.

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

I would start putting him to bed earlier and then if he plays for a while, when he does go to sleep, it will be earlier than normal. Sometimes the more sleep you get the more you want. I would leave him in the crib as long as possible unless he can crawl out then it is time to change because he could fall out and hurt himself, otherwise, I would leave him in as long as he is ok. Don't worry about the toys. So what if he plays, let him play. He goes to sleep alright after he plays doens't he? That is just his winding down time, kind of like you may like to sit up in the bed and watch tv or the news before you go to bed, or some people like to read for a while before going to sleep. That is just part of his personality that he does to wind down so that he sleeps better. Allow that if that is him and his personality. As long as he isn't hurting anything, he should be fine. When transitioning, you will just have to talk to him and let him know that is where he has to be and he can't come out or get out of his bed. Put the toys up on his bed and tell him that he can't stay up long and has to go to sleep then listen on the monitor and allow him his time to wind down. Nothing wrong with the toys. It is like a book to an adult or a tv in the bedroom for an adult. Maybe you could try putting some books in his bed and a little light on his headboard so he can look through the books and read to himself. You can go in there later and turn the light out when he goes to sleep. It's all good.

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C.D.

answers from Chattanooga on

I don't think moving him to a toddler bed is going to stop him from singing and playing before he falls asleep. If anything, it might make it worse. If he's attempting to climb out of the crib, and you're scared he will injure himself then I'd move him to the toddler bed. If not, then I'd wait. I don't see a reason to make that transition until he either tries to escape the crib or you need the crib for a second baby. My daughter is 25 months old, and she is still in her crib. I plan on keeping her there until she gives me a reason to transition. I have friends who have told me horror stories about the bed switch and others who've had no problems at all.

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E.H.

answers from Greensboro on

D.,
He needs a regular bedtime routine!! Most people have a routine of bath, brush teeth, story, bed. At his age, he needs to go to bed between 7:30 and 8. Another thing is are YOU ready for him to be in a toddler bed? Or is he climbing out or trying to climb out and you're worried about him getting hurt? For now, I'd keep him in the crib until he shows signs of trying to climb out. But if you're ready and you think he's ready for one, go ahead and get one.... just take ALL of his toys and anything else he would play with out of his room so he won't be tempted. How many naps is he taking during the day? Right now he only needs one, and he shouldn't sleep past 4 pm; that way he will be sleepy enough to go to sleep at bedtime, but not so sleepy that he's crabby. It's very hard to tell when kids start getting sleepy, especially at this age. Mostly you can't tell until they're over-tired and by then they really don't want to go to sleep. If you don't start a bed-time routine now, it's going to get harder and harder to get him to sleep as he gets older. Now is the time to start. Good luck hun.

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

why would you want your child out of a crib so early? does he scream in his crib, or hate to be in it? can he climb out on his own? if not, then leave him in the crib. as far as the singing goes, he sounds like he is using that to sooth himself to sleep. it sounds like he is a great sleeper, and you are lucky that he can sooth himself to sleep, many babies do not. better to sing than scream.

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T.K.

answers from Fayetteville on

D.,
I thought my 19 month old (#3 child) was ready for a toddler bed - because he could climb out of his bed at will. Not only would he get out at nite before sleep - he would climb out in the middle of the night if he woke up.....we were afraid he was going to get hurt by falling at some point. So, we put him in a toddler bed - not only was it harder for him to go to sleep - when he did go to sleep - it was not a good sleep. SO we put the crib back up and to keep our piece of mind - we invested in a Crib Tent - you can google it to find a retailer - I think I found mine at walmart.com. Anyway - it was super easy to install - and it keeps my child in his crib. There are still nites it is hard for him to fall asleep - but we put a few books in the bed, give him his water, and play music for him - and he goes to sleep. There are mornings that he wakes up before he needs to be out of bed and we do the same thing to keep him settled while he "waits" for his wake up time to be his get out of bed time. Good luck!
T.

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A.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

I haven't read all of the other responses, so I might be repeating their answers. But, I want to comment on a couple of things. First of all, if he's going to sing and play until he falls asleep, then that's his mechanism to put himself to sleep, and he's probably going to do it whether you tire him out or not! It's a blessing when a child finds their own way to fall asleep, and some children just need that wind-down time. Think of what it takes you to fall asleep at night - we all have some trick we use to help us fall asleep, even if it's just to consciously clear our minds. So, I wouldn't be disturbed by his need to sing and play for a while. (My son does it, and is still able to put himself to sleep in a room full of other kids without being disruptive. They learn social rules!)

Secondly, there is no strict rule as to when you need to move your son to a toddler bed. If he's climbing the rails, you would want a safer bed. But, if he's still sleeping comfortably, keep him there! The earliest I moved a child was at 22 mos because we had a second child coming. A friend of mine didn't move her son until he was three because it just worked well for them since he didn't go to bed well. Please don't feel pressured to move him just because he hits a certain age. (My son is almost 22 mos, and we are expecting to move soon. For that reason, it will probably be after his 2nd birthday before he's moved simply to get him through the transition without too many upsets in his routine!)

Hope that helps!

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L.C.

answers from Nashville on

a toddler bed may be just what you need. My oldest son absolutely loved the transition to a big boy bed. He was allowed to take a toy or two to bed and play -in bed- till he fell asleep. This made it easy for everyone. Your little one may just need time to learn to be alone and unwind before he can go to sleep.
Oh, my son's favorite toy to take to bed was actually a set of toys. He took his little tikes castle and men and set it all up on the end of the bed. His imagination really took off with this freedom. I gave him a small flash light, or night light, and the room was his. It took some adjusting at first to get him to understand that this was only allowed as long as he stayed on the bed the whole time. Eventually he actually started going to bed on his own. He'd disappear after supper and I'd find him in his bed with his toys set up for bedtime. It usually only took him about a half hour to fall asleep this way. Sometimes it would take an hour or longer, but that's only normal. I'd go clear his bed and cover him once I knew he was out. With this set up the stress level was very low.
This was an answer to a lot of prayers for both of us. My son was about your son's age when we started this bedtime routine. He's almost 16 now. He still takes a book and flashlight to bed sometimes.

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K.A.

answers from Hickory on

I have a 3 yr old...almost 4...who doesn't go to sleep well. She stays in her bed, the lights are off, but she will sing play with her "beary" that sleeps with her. I made it a rule that she had to stay in bed, it was bedtime. If she wasn't ready to go to sleep that was fine, but the bed was where she had to stay and "rest" if she was not ready for sleep. If I were you I would put up a gate to keep him in his room so that he doesn't wonder the house in the middle of the night or think that it is ok to come out of his room after you have put him to bed. She slept in a crib until she was 2 1/2 to 3 years old. She was not in any big hurry to have a big girl bed until almost 3. Good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

the singing and talking is the way that toddlers soothe themselves to sleep - it's perfectly healthy and normal and nothing at all to worry about. Unless he's crying in distress, just relax and don't worry about it and let him soothe himself to sleep on his own. As far as moving him to a toddler bed, I'd recommend keeping him in his crib until he's at least two unless he's starting to climb out, at which point you have to move him to a bed for safety reasons. If he's still happy in the crib, there is no reason to move him at this age. But, you should put a twin or toddler bed in his room a few months or so before you intend to make the transition so that he is used to the bed. Sit in his bed and read your bedtime stories there and when you feel like it's nearing the time to make the transition start to ask him if he'd like to sleep in the crib or the bed. When he says the bed, he's probably ready for it and it should make the transition out of the crib fairly easy. Keep in mind, though, that when he does make the move, he'll probably get up and roam around his room for awhile, enjoying this new freedom, but in a few weeks or a month, the novelty will wear off and he'll just stay in bed. Again, this is totally normal behavior and nothing to stress about - just make sure his room is safe. Put a gate on his door now, so that when you do make the transition, he'll be used to a gate in front of this door and it'll be no big deal - it's also for safety, because once he's in a bed and can open his bedroom door, you have to make sure he doesn't roam around the house and hurt himself at night. But, truly, the talking and singing are nothing to be worried about.

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A.W.

answers from Charlotte on

Hello!
Just a week ago I began putting my 2 year old in a regular bed, but that is because I know he is ready for it. He stays in the bed once I put him there. My oldest son didn't sleep in a regular bed until he was almost 3 because I knew he wasn't ready. He would keep getting out. My point is, if you are already struggling, then I recommend NOT putting him in a bed.
You also need to do what makes your life easier. If that means keeping him in a crip for a few more months, then so be it. I am sure you would rather spend cuddly time with your husband than fighting with your child every night :)
When he is ready, you will know it. Don't do anything you don't feel 100% sure about.
Good luck!

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

if it takes an hour for him to fall asleep, then start by putting him to bed an hour earlier. we luckily had an easy transition from crib to toddler bed. we get jammies on, have cuddle time, then we sing our night night song and prayers, and we give her 2 favorite stuffed animals and a story to look at. she will do the same thing, play with her babies and look her story and sing and laugh for a little bit, but then she gradually doses off and has a goood nights sleep. but whatever you do, just make sure it's a consistant routine...that's what will be the key to getting him switched over.

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A.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Our daughter went into her toddler bed at 20 months. Shocked us all! Right before our 2nd was born, we put a toddler bed in her room, as we were rearranging furniture in the house to accommodate the new arrival. I bought an old toddler bed at a consignment store and put it in her room to get her use to idea (with hopes she would transition to that before the other one wanted to move to his crib. That didn't work so we had to get a 2nd crib). Anyway, with all that we just used the bed as place to put her stuff animals and we would read books and play on the bed during the day. My daughter sounds like your son, she still does to this day sing and talk herself to sleep, thankfully she doesn't get out of her bed or room. She just sits in her bed and talks/sings to her dolls. Sometimes kids are not ready to transition to heir own bed, try but don't push. I think as long as he stays in his bed and doesn't get up to "read" books or play with toys, try it.

Good Luck
A.

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

We JUST took down our son's crib a little over a week ago. We went ahead and bought him a twin bed. We use a bunky board with a twin mattress and have the bed up against a wall with a safety rail along the other side. His bed is full of all the "friends" that were in his crib. I did the same thing with him that I did with my daughter when we switched her at 18mths. I tried to keep it just like his crib in every way possible. There's no pillow, no big blankets or top sheet. And I even put a green sheet on his mattress just like his crib. I have all his little animals arranged on the bed just like his crib was. So basically....it's like a twin sized crib. =0) We put a gate at the bedroom door and made sure there is nothing in his room that he could get hurt with. He was super excited about his bed, but it was very exciting to him that he could get out of it! That freedom will be new and fun for a while, but then, they get the idea that it's time to sleep. Ethan would rummage around in his room and play, but as long as he wasn't being to loud, we let him. He'll get bored after a few minutes and hop himself back into his bed. It's a big, exciting adjustment for them and it will take a little while, but they get the idea. Good luck! =0)

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B.S.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi there,
there are a couple of things that come to mind in your situation for me. One, is he really tired? Does he nap too long in the afternoon? My oldest had given up naps by 19 mos, so maybe he might not need a nap or not a long one anyway. Also, why take him out of the crib if he is not climbing out yet? Do you need it for another baby? If not, then leave him in it for now. THere is no law that says they have to be out by 2. I have three kids and NONE were out before either climbing out or til they outgrew it. It keeps them safe and you sane! Also, the last thing is do you have a routine every night before bed? It is vitally important to have routine, especially at bedtime with toddlers. It is a great time to calm down together and spend quality time reading, brushing teeth, cuddling and getting the child ready to go to bed alone and calmly. You might want to have the toddler bed mattress on the floor or a twin mattress with the crib still in the room and let the child get used to the idea first too. A slow transition lets them know what is coming next. Good luck.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Our first son climbed out of the crib when he was 20/21 months. We put him in a regular bed but he would not stay in. So we decided to start laying down with him. BIG MISTAKE. Now at 3 1/2 he still would not go to bed by himself and wakes up at night and comes to us.Looking back I wish we would've gotten a crib tent since he always was a great crib sleeper.
Our second son climbed out at 15 months, but also would rock his crib so the sides actually would come apart. So we had to take him out(no tent could help:(....) This time we cleared out his room, there is nothing but the mattress and some toys(outlets covered , no blinds , no curtains)and there is a hidden monitor (just sound), gate at the door. When it's time for nap/bed we just put him in with his teddy, say time to go to sleep and close the door. I can hear him in the monitor, he sometimes plays an hour before going to sleep, rarely cries(only if overtired). It is so much better. With our first one it took us hours to get him down.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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