Major Sleep Issues W/ 2 Yo Daughter

This happened to us. When it did we decided it was time to transfer the children to a "big kid" bed. We made a big deal about going out and finding one or bringing it up from the basement (for child #2 & #3). But big kid bed have rules; like you must stay in it all night, you can only have 3 toys or you can have more toys. Decided what will work for you.

Good luck.

Working mom of 3 (ages 7, 5 & 2.75) married to the greatest stay at home dad on earth.

Maybe it't time for a big girl bed. I think this is the age that my kids got out of a crib.

C.

Let's look at this from a practical/logical aspect: she's had two years of inconsistent signals regarding sleep. Do not blame yourself for this one bit, but do realize that after 2 years of habit-forming changing anything is going to be tough and she's going to resist it.

If you don't want her waking up screaming for you then you need to either stop bringing her into your bed/napping with her or begin co-sleeping. Flip-flopping back and forth between the two, creating this environment of inconsistency, is likely the cause of her night-time behaviors. She can't get back to sleep on her own, thus calls out for you. You either let her sleep in your bed, nap with her, let her sleep on the floor next to the bed, or let her cry it out. The crying it out is possibly the most confusing for her as she's probably thinking "when are they gonna come get me so I can sleep in their bed, on the floor, whatever" followed by "they're not coming, it's time to scream louder", and when you go to get her that reinforces the thinking that screaming + crying = they will come get me.

Pick ONE technique and stick with it. Be painstakingly consistent. I would also recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth but it is imperative that you understand that if you choose to go this route, you will likely have a difficult week or so ahead of you. If you choose to go this route, do so on a long weekend and/or switch off nights between you and your husband so at least one of you is getting sleep. We started sleep training at 6 months and much to my surprise it took literally 3 days. Now at 21 months he sleeps from 6:45pm to 7:00am or later PLUS an afternoon nap from 12:30-3:30. Our whole family is getting sleep and everyone is happier and healthier because of it.

She's a smart little one and has you 2 buffaloed good. As long as you continue to "give in" to her whims the longer she'll act out. You have to put your foot down. If you can see her on monitor, you know she's safe so don't worry; don't let her rule the roost now or you'll have plenty of problems later in life with her wrapping you around her little finger. Good luck parents.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Back up her bedtime to 6:30 or 7:00. create a going-to-bed program, i.e brushteet-read book-close eyes. Another thing we tried with our younger daughter, now 4.5, was to back a chair out of the room while she went to sleep, every five minutes or so backing towards the door til we were out of the room.
good luck.

As cruel as it sounds, you'll be stuck with her in your bed until she's older. She's gotten used to Mom and Dad and doesn't want to sleep alone. You either have to toughen up and let her alone, go in to tell her she's alright and leave. I know it's hard, but until she can calm herself you'll never get any sleep. Try one of her stuffed animals or one that has the heart beat sounds (like for infants). She may like that. Been there and it was horrible.

My daughter was 2 when she started getting cranky in her sleeping habits. Then enter the toddler bed, It was an adjustment because she was getting out of bed and coming to find me but she also thought it was so special... "Her" new big girl bed and she loved hopping in and going under the blankets, and putting her babys to bed with her. It may just be time to try it? Just a suggestion. Best of luck to you I know how frustrating it is when you are tired and they dont give up... My daughter is 3 and I still have nights like that... its all about finding something new that works, sometimes I dont know what that is :) But I am learning everyday!

She might be ready for a toddler bed or turn her crib into a day bed with bed rails. That is what happened for our daughter.

I so feel your pain. My daughter turned two in August and was a horrible sleeper...still not great, although getting better...slowly getting better :) She would do pretty much the same exact thing you describing yours do as well, and it really takes a toll on the family as a whole, in all departments. Initially, we went through a week of letting her cry it out at night. She was FURIOUS at us. Afterall, at the time I was still working and exhausted, and chose to bring her to our bed too, because felt some sleep was better than getting up and down several times a night with virtually no sleep, then she started playing in our bed, and that was where we had to draw the line, it woke us up, it woke my older son up, and it was just enough....sorry for rambling...anyhow, it was a week of HELL...(she also could climb out of her crib and pop the baby gate). We would make no ezye contact, and just lay her back down without saying a thing...not one word. She would scream 1-2 hours at a time when she would wake up. It was h*** o* her, and it ws h*** o* us, but finally she slept through the night. Now let me define sleeping throught he night with mine. Our daughter is a very "busy" girl, and very physical, and like her Momma, and her older brother to a certain extent, seems to require on the lesser end of reccommended sleep to function well. She is also a light sleeper like her momma, and has been since the day she was born. That being said, we put her down around 7:30, and will usually sleep until 4:30 when mu husband gets up for work, at which point she wants something to drink, and will usually lay back down until 5:30 when I get up, but then she just wants to sit on my lap and snuggle while I drink my coffee (big improvement from a few months ago as far as I am concerned...although I am looking forward to the day she sleeps until 7 am LOL). A few things I have found that help us tremendously are for one, making sure that she gets a lot of time out doors to realy run around and play (it is easier for me to accomplish this right now because I am currently staying home...I know it is much harder when one is working). Two, a mid morning nap, if she refuses to sleep by 11:30 am then I skip her nap and put her down by 7 p.m. Granted she is a little monster by 5 pm without the nap, but better a monster at 5pm, than at 2am is my motto. Three, no T.V. for an hour before bedtime, just bath time, stories, songs, etc. She get overstimulated very easily. We also switched who took over these particular responsibilities from me to my husband. For one, we didn't know what else to do, two my older son really needed some one on one time with me (lets just say my daugher has been a high needs baby from the get go), and three, he takes less games ffrom her, and she pulls less games with him as well. Four, I made up a special basket of quiet toys that we get out from the closet every night, that she is only allowed to have at that time, and leave next to her bed, and told her initially that if you cannot sleep you can play with these special toys that are just for night time. Five, I leave a sippy cup with water in there so she has something to drink when she is "thirsty" instead of screaming for mommy or daddy. Backtracking a minute, we also giver her a small bedtime snack...maybe a graham cracker and some milk, a string cheese. Six, we take her potty right before bed. Now if she wakes up, we wait a few minutes to see of she settles herself, if something is really wrong she persists, or bothering her, she persists...if it ends up being a game we sternly tell her it is time to sleep, everyone is sleeping it is night time. Now either play with your toys and be quiet, or go to bed. End of story, walk away, and let her be mad...beleive me the crying usually only lasts about two minutes now, it rarely goes beyond that, and if does because she is just in a mood, and sometimes it does, I do the very minimum with her the next day. If she asks to go to the park, or play outside, I tell her no, mommy didn't sleep very well last night because you wouldn't go to bed, I am too tired. I know that sounds like a lot of info. for a little kid, but they are far more intelligent than we give them credit for, afterall, they knew which buttons to push to get us up all night. Oh, and if your daughter is anything like mine, don't tell her it is okay to wake you if she is sick, or has to pee, because then she will scream about that all night to get out of bed. I made the mistake of talking about this whole situation to my mom in front of my daughter, not realizing that she absorbed every word, that very same night she stated with the I'm sick. If they are really sick, we know as mothers, they persist, they cry differnet, look different, probably acted off the whole day, so we as mothers are not surprised that they are calling out sick for us at night. I know how hard it is to hear your baby cry, it still makes me feel bad for her, but I also felt bad that my son and husband got less of me too because I was physically exhausted. Now, I know this is a long response but this part will be shorter. This is pertaining to if you are working outside of the home, because I have had both experiences with this. My son was a much easier going infant/toddler...but was a bad sleeper as well, some of it he couldn't help, a lot of ear/sinus troubles, and some of it was habbit. Well, he was two and half, and still waking up, although not screaming, just tapping me, and climbing into bed with us,honestly it hardly ever woke my husband, just me, and it only bothered my usband that we had a two year old in the bed. With him it was much easier...he loved Blues Clues at the time, and if he got out of bed he was not able to watch his favorite blues clues movie the next day, if he stayed in bed he got a chocolate chip (I know they say not to use food, but when you are as sleep deprived as we are, what's a chocolate chip right). Well, after about three days with no Blues Clues it stopped and he has slept through the since. I'd say try the latter approach first, if she is easy going and see how it goes. Hang in, and I'll keep my fingers crossed you sleep :)

i'm in the same situation, help!

I think it is a phase. When my oldest was 2 she started waking and hating to go to bed, wanted us to sleep with her, etc. We began the seemingly endless barganing. For a while it was crazy, some nights we slept with her (she has a full size bed) and began leaving the door open. Soon we didnt have to be in the room, we were in our room accross the hall with the doors open and night lights on, etc. She is 3 now and we still leave the door open per her request but can now go downstairs witout trouble. It is a frustrating time, but you'll find what works for her and slowly get her back to something that works for everyone. Good luck.

JC:

I/we had the identical problem last summer. My daughter started refusing to sleep (scream like hot lava was coming her way!) in her bed and would only sleep in mine. I fought the transition from crib to bed as I felt it would be the beginning of the end of my semi good sleep. My daughter, 2yr. 9mo) has always been a terrible sleeper as well from way back. We roller coastered from sleeping through the night to being up for hours in the middle of the night as well (once she's up she just can't get herself back to sleep even w/me in her bed w/her). I finally came to the realization that it couldn't get worse and we got her a big girl bed-first sleeping on the floor and then to the bed. It took a while Maybe two weeks), but she did eventually sleep through, but it was short lived. There was a little crying as she fought to sleep in our bed and not hers, but now she goes down willingly, but I lay w/her until she falls asleep, most nights. Same w/naps. I wish I could tell you it will get better, but from my personal experience it really hasn't. It gets better and then goes back. I feel like I've tried everything. I am currently bribing her with Disney action figures where she can't reach them, but can see them ALL DAY LONG and knows she can have the next one if she sleeps through the night and doesn't wake up too early (my other problem, thank you day light saving time). I've also tried the sleepy fairy who would bring presents on the mornings she slept through. I kept a stash of little, wrapped presents and put them in her window sill when she slept well (this worked great, but as soon as we transitioned away, she went back to old habits). Sorry for the novel, it's just nice to know I'm not alone. Hang it there and trust your gut. I hate to let my daughter cry, but now she's older I know when she's faking. My daughter has also started w/ the "I'm scared of the monsters." from time to time. If you would like to email me personally, please feel free to vent anytime.

J.

We recently had the same issues with my son. It started a few months before he turned 2. We ended up moving him into a toddler bed and moved his bed by the door so he can see out. We leave his door open and have a gate in the hallway so he can't wander the house. He has been sleeping great since we made the move. Still gets up once in a while but not near as much as he used to and now goes to bed much easier. Good luck, I know what you are going through.

I went thru this with my daughter too! It does get better.
Start by putting your daughter in a "big girl" bed and make a huge deal out of it. Take her to the store with you and let her pick out new sheets for the bed and this will make it more exciting for her. I started a sticker chart/reward program for my daughter and when she would get 3 stickers for sleeping in her bed all night then she got to choose a prize from the prize basket. (I went to Target and purchased a few things from the dollar bins.) I did this for about 4 months or so then I stopped with the prizes and just started saying how proud I was that she is such a big girl now. She is now
3 1/2 goes to bed by herself and sleeps thru the night.
I know that it's hard but it does sound like she is ready for a toddler bed and know that the transition will take a week or two. Your daughter will love her newfound freedom and will probably visit you a few times the 1st few nights.

Email me directly if you need any support for this.
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Good Luck,
R.

Maybe she needs a toddler bed at that age. Maybe she feels like she is trapped in the crib.

Move the crib into your room. She wants to know she is not alone. The kids are affraid of darkness, shadows, loneliness, etc. They know they are small and helpless. My son is 2y/o, I moved his crib in our bedroom when he became 4 mo old and stopped snoring (or may be I became less sensative to it :)), he LOVES his crib, will not sleep in our bed. He gets up at night sometimes, lookes around, sees everyone sleeping and goes back to sleep and we get good sleep too.
Do whatever you need to make your baby feel safe and protected, she only will be little for so long. When her fears pass she will be just fine.

Ive always heard that the rule of thumb is if they can climb out, get rid of it. She's probably telling you she's ready for the switch.
By two my son could easliy be able to climb out even with the matress on the floor. My son began to scream everytime he looked at his crib at around 13 months and we put him on the matress on the floor, without the crib. He got the big boy bed at 16 months and usually sleeps through the night now. We always had sleep issues because like you we allowed him into our bed sometimes, and always snuggled him to sleep. Its a decision I am paying for now but not one I will regret later.
He would exhibit a lot of the same behaviors, but in his big boy bed he is such a better sleeper. He has more room, stuffed animals to snuggle, and a big comfy comforter just like Mommy and Daddy. He has loved his bed from day one. he hated the crib so the switch was a breeze...sounds like it will be for you too.
I have also moved his bedtime up to 730, as he stopped taking his 4 hr nap, and he was having trouble again. 2yr olds need a lot more sleep than we usually realize. my son is sleeping now from 730pm-830am, and then a two hr nap from 1-3. He usually stays in his room, but at times he'll come into my room looking for me, so I just walk him back. most of the time he'll go right back to sleep. Rarely, he'll climb into our bed and we wont realize it till morning, however, I call those free passes. If I dont notice, Oh well. I never nap in the same bed as him though, as it creates a pattern for night time. make her slep at all times in her bed.
Unfortunately these sleep habits are hard to undo. this is why its so important to sleep train early. read "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". Good luck