Ok I am asking for some advice on how to handle the situation with my daughter's school. Friday when I went to pick up my 5 y/o daughter from kindergarten, I walked inthe classroom and saw that she was crying. When she saw me she became hystarical. She came over to me and the teachers aide said "she been whiny all day." I took my daughter out of the classroom and asked her what has wrong. She showed me her hand that was all bruised and swollen by her pinky. I went in to ask the aide and her response was "oh she was fine, just when we asked her how her hand felt she cried more." I was so mad, I couldn't even say anything except to tell my daughter we were going to the hospital for x-rays. I got to the car and called the peds dr and he told me to get to the ER and get x-rays and see him Sat morning. Well, I went straight to the ER and she got her xrays. The ER dr said it looked sprained but was going to wrap it.
I went to the peds dr today. When he saw her hand, he was outraged. He said it is very swollen and bruised (her whole hand is now bruised) to just be jammed. He also said that because of her age sometimes fractures don't show up for 7 days. He re wrapped the hand and told me to keep it iced a couple times a day and have it re x-rayed in 7 days and come back to see him next sat, but call if it becomes worse or the swelling does not go down by Wed.
OK I have to talk to her school on Monday and am trying really hard not to go off on the school. My daughter has to continue to go there for the rest of the year and I don't want the teacher to treat her any different. The problem is that no one called me. I picked her up at 3pm ( normally I pick her up at 5pm) ans she told me it happened BEFORE lunch which is 11:30. I can't beleive my daughter sat there all day suffering and no one thought to call me or even tell me as soon as I walked in the door. My daughter doesn't know what she did exactly to hurt her hand, but thinks she pushed into the floor when she was playing. I am not blaming them for hurting her, but for not calling me. They did not even do any incident report as they normally do. I have approx. 17 reports in the past 3 years that she has been at the school for everything from a papercut to a scraped knee after falling in the playground.
I need some advice on how to calmly talk to the director. Please any advice will be helpful.
I wish I could calm you down, but I would feel the same way. I would not be calm when I went into the school. Maybe they'll get the point if you're a little on fire when you walk in. I think they should have called you. They get an F- in my book.
Sorry Patty, wish I could calm you down, but I too became furious after reading your post. Give them hell.
I hate to say it but I have actually worked for teachers who minimize something like this are actually bullies to me and as a teachers aide I do not have the authority to contact the parent, let the parent know what I think and argue with people who are in charge of me. That includes even the fact that they didn't have enough lunch or they were talking about being sad. Or when they are feeling pain.It is under the teacher's jurisdiction so to speak and she/he must do that. So since there were so many other situations before that were reported, one could think that the teacher did not really notice it, or she minimized it in her own way thinking maybe it was not as urgent as it was and perhaps even brushed the teacher aide aside if the teacher aide had been mentioning how quotes whiney she was. (Depends on how old the teacher is sometimes. Sometime young teachers are not aware of the severity of things or are not tenured,and are worried about their own futures etc.etc.. When you talk to the school you should point out the same things that you said here, about how all the other situations were recorded before and they neglected to do so on this one and if anything you would like an explanation or an apology for this oversight. You can acknowledge that everyone is human but you expected them to do their best and they have failed you.You send her to school to be safe and know that sometimes things happen but you are hurting. You can let them know that you will keep your daughter in school, but you would like her to be monitored for awhile while her hand is recovering and that you will be happy to receive reports from them as often as possible on her activities. Unfortunately things do happen to our children (oh I could tell you stories) and we feel their wounds also and we feel so helpless.But this meeting will empower you. I really think you will feel better after you speak to the director and say how hurt you are that they did not notify you. I am sure they will hear you just fine.
When I was in grade school I fell and broke my arm and because I didn't cry when it happened they didn't believe me that it was hurt. They wouldn't even give me ice to put on it and told me to just put a wet paper towel on it. My mom said that she could tell when she picked me up that something was wrong. She went off on the school for not calling her and for not believing me when I told them that I hurt my arm. Needless to say the school called her every time something happened after that but my mom said that she would rather know everything than to know nothing.
Yeah, that is pretty awful. One thought- at our school they have waited until after lunchtime/naptime/downtime to call me, because sometimes when they get cranky before lunch, having some food and a nap helps them calm down. By the time that's all over, it is almost time to go home. So maybe that's what happened with your daughter. They couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong, figured maybe some lunch and a rest would help, then it was almost time for you to be there. As for how to calmly talk to the director...I would put all my concerns in writing, bullet-point them, and bring it with me and refer to it point by point to remember why you are there and how you feel it should have been handled. And what the outcome of the meeting should be! An apology, an incident report, a change in procedure...Hope she feels better!
I too would be outraged. But, keep it factual. Maybe have your husband come with you. Show that you are united front on the subject. #1 Why didn't you call me? #2 was ice put on her hand and was she held for some TLC. #3 What are you going to do to keep her from hurting her hand more? #4 Should I call DCFS and have then look into this?
These would be some of my questions to them. I know that accidents happen. But the way they are handled is what matters. Tell them you did not appreciate how they handled it, and see what "Rules" they are changing for the teachers so this does not happen to any other children in the class or school.
I really hope she feels better soon. Good luck.
Dont worry about how the teacher will treat your daughter once you confront her. Now she will be extra careful about how she behaves. Speak with the principal. A report must be made to the Department of Children & Family Services.
My daughter was bruised by her 4th grade teacher. The school has a policy to wait out a teachers contract ~I think so they dont get sued. My daughter had to have this teacher for 5 more months after I met with her and the principal. I was angry that she refused to admit she made a mistake and apologize. I basically told her she needed to find a new career and I would make sure she would not be returning to work at this school the following year. It was a stressful period but both my daughter and I learned important lessons about standing up for ourselves.
I would not have been as calm as you. She is too young to worry about the Teacher's reaction to our anger and disappointment. There is no reason you should not have been contacted. Schools have contacted parents for less. Trust me, if it was my daughter, I would be visiting the head of the department or the principal's office and demanding an explanation.
Forget about the teacher and long term - think about your daughter and someone needs to answer you as to why you were not contacted regarding her injury. How did it happen and when? What is there policy on contacting parents?
I hope this helps. trust me, you will know if your daughter is not be treated fairly in the future. Ask her.
I was bullied when I was little (grade 2) at a school where the boys parents where both teachers! you have to talk to the principal and you have to be persistant. The school would like to wait you out and see if you will just give up. Your motivation should be that you don't want it happing again or to someone elses child. That is unacceptable behavior on the teachers part!
PS not saying that your child is being bullied just helping on how to deal with the school.
