Schedules for 3 Year Old and Baby at Home?

I found that having things to do--getting out of the house--forced me into a little more of a schedule. Even doing ECFE one day a week was really helpful. Also--you're probably at the crux of the frustrating point. About 9 months was when my older one started acting resentful of the baby. Baby is now 14 months, and he and my four year old actually play together and enjoy being together--not that I still don't feel like I'm totally neglecting one or the other, but that the "baby" can play on his own a bit and the older one deals a little better when baby needs my attention. I've also found activities that occupy the older one better--watercolors, play doh, even doing some simple chores--and when I think I'm going to catch a good nap, we try to schedule something super-fun--like making cookies or Christmas decorating--something only an older child can do. Anyway--schedule? Nope...but it will get better, and probably soon! Good luck.

Does your 9 month play by his or herself? Or do you have big playyard thing? If either of these is possible get your nine month settled with toys and then do your activity with you 3 year old. Or another option is put your 9 month old in a highchair and give him or her something they can do there while you do the acitivy with your 3 year old. This has worked for me with my 2 year old and 1 year old. As far as a schedule all I've done is to make sure supper, bath, and bed are all close to the same time everynight (Sometimes this doesn't work but one day isn't going to be that bad),otherwise I just let the day bring what it is going to bring. This way they are still on a nightly routine and not going to be at differnt times each night but they are also learning flexability with each day being differnt. I found each time I had a good routine going during the day somehow my mother would need me to take her somewhere, or mother-in-law would come over and then it throws off the sechdule so much worse than just trying to keep them busy during the day and doing the nightly routine. Hope this helps.

T.-
I see that you have an early childhood education background which means you probably have a ton of activities you'd like to be doing with your 3 year old, but can't due to interruptions from the baby. I was a teacher before I became a stay at home mom and can relate to that. The best advice I can give is just make that baby part of all that you do. Having a playpen may work, but my babies don't like being confined like that (your 3 year old may think it is cool to read books in there though!) How about "wearing" the baby in some sort of sling to keep her close by? Baskets of toys to keep her busy playing on the floor while you work at a table/countertop/on the couch with the 3 year old may work. Don't think that your 3 year old is missing out on anything by not have a lot of alone time with you. For us, when the baby is happy the whole house runs more smoothly!
We have a quiet time where everyone in the house (including me!) must be on her bed and either resting/sleeping or doing something quiet (reading, playing with a doll, etc.) I highly recommend this! My oldest is 8 and still has quiet time each day. We all need some time on our own...including mom!
There is no magic formula for creating the perfect schedule. The one thing that I can tell you with certainty is that as soon as you find a schedule that works, the children outgrow that stage and it all changes. So, be flexible and enjoy yourself and your children.
Best wishes!
H. :-)
www.happymomonline.com

Maybe you could try laying the 9 month old down later on in the day (can you stretch the baby's nap to start until after lunch?) and then that way he/she might nap longer and give you more time with your 3yo. My 2nd daughter wasn't a huge fan of napping because I think she felt she was missing out on something she wasn't getting a chance to do. Maybe instead of trying to do an activity with your 3yo you could find things she can do on her own, like get her started in stringing beads on a string or shapes with holes in them for her fine motor skills and then you get to step away to do something else, whether that's to tend to the baby or wash the dishes! Don't feel that you have to make your 3yo feel better about now needing to have less attention from you. He/she will get used to it and should learn to play on his/her own as well, especially during those times when you need to feed, change, bathe, etc. the baby. I used to feel SOOOO guilty that I wasn't spending enough time with my 3yo when my 2nd daughter was born but they get used to it. If you're not spending "enough" time with her during the day, try to have her go to bed after the baby does and then you can spend some extra time with her, talking in her room before she goes to bed. That has turned into something with my firstborn, and she still likes to "chat" a bit about her day before she goes to sleep and it's nice to have "our time" even if it is for about 10 minutes before she goes to sleep. Hope that helps!

I am a daycare mom with my own two children (3 and 3 mos) and 4 others at home.... What I have found is that babies a lot of time just want to be included in the mix... For me it works well to have a highchair with toys right next to the "big kid" activities! They love the excitement and interaction and are often content for much of the time.... Also I would start a project about 1/2 hour before your baby naps if your 9 month old goes to sleep easily... That way when the baby is ready to lay down, you can simply step away for a minute to lay the baby down and return to your project or activity! I hope this helps!