I wasn't sure exactly what category this request fit into since it touches a few so I thought I'd pick this one.
I'm having trouble with my older children picking up and putting away their stuff. It's been a lifelong battle with the two of them. Only now it has taken a different twist. Now that their baby brother is beginning to move around (scooting, almost crawling) the things they don't pick up are becoming safety issues. Little rings, marker caps, chapstick lids, barbie shoes, dropped pieces of candy, etc. are all choking hazards. Since my 6 year old got a nickel lodged in her throat when she was 1 1/2 years old (thankfully I was able to dislodge it), I'm acutely aware of these dangers. Not to mention that libraries generally don't like chewed on books (they tend to get quite cranky about it).
We have pop-up handled tote cubes (one for each family member and one for the playroom)that I place items during the day that I see scattered about the house while everyone is away. They all are responsible for putting the items in their tote cube away each evening. The problem I have is when I ask them to clean up whatever room they have made a mess in (in the evenings, on weekends when it isn't necessary for me to put stuff in their totes), they don't make sure all parts, pieces, little things are picked up and put/thrown away. I've explained many times why it is so very important that they make sure everything is picked up off the floor and as soon as they are finished playing with one toy to put it away before they get something else out. So far nothing I've said has made a difference. They both tell me that they don't want anything to happen to their brother but they can't seem to manage to be responsible with their things so that he is safe.
Besides taking the items away left on the floor and them losing the privelege of playing with them (so far it hasn't changed anything just has caused a lot of yelling and crying), what else can I do? I try to make consequences logical so that it is directly linked to the offense. I'm just at a loss and there is a lot at stake (an irreplacable sweet baby boy).
Also, I actually received a "no choke tube" with a catalog order from christmas this past year. It allows you to drop in an item to see if it is small enough for a small child to choke on. They have used it many times to check things. Although they know these things are dangerous, it still doesn't help them want to do a good job picking up and putting away their things.
Thanks for any ideas and suggestions!
I had the same problem with my older kids when my baby started crawling. After too long of getting frustrated and 'reminding' my kids, I had to start throwing things away. The new rule became if it is on the floor it is trash. I know this hurt me almost as much as it did my kids, because of the cost of toys; every time I would think 'there goes $10 in the trash.' It worked, so I guess it was worth it.
I remember when I was a kid and my dad constantly got onto us about cleaning up our playroom. One day he told us that if we didn't keep them off the floor, he was going to throw them away. Of course we never actually thought he would do it. We came home from school one day and he had them sitting under the carport in black trash bags. We went crying to our mom, who let us pick out a couple of toys each, but made the rest stay in the trash. After that, we always cleaned up when we were done. I remember so vividly how I felt when I saw my Kermit the Frog puppet sticking out of the bag. Getting rid of the toys definetly worked for us. Good luck.
I really think you are on the right track with taking away the item(s) and losing privileges. They are old enough to understand the cause/effect pattern, and can be expected to follow-through (perhaps some reminders) after being told what is expected.
Perhaps take the process one step further - instead of just losing the privilege of playing with the toy for a short time, completely GET RID of the toy(s). Have them help you deliver it to Goodwill or throw it away (as hard as this will be for you - I know toys can be expensive!). Friends who have done this have seen quick results with their kids taking greater responsibility. Consistency is the key - they WILL eventually get the message that you are serious about what you say!
Good luck!
I agree with the 'get rid' idea.
You are definitely on the right track by taking the toys away, but since they don't seem to get the point then the consequence needs to 'sting' a little more. Since they're 6 and 7 clearly they are old enough to be responsible for cleaning up after themselves.
Start on Monday by stating the 'new rules' to your kids (you need to be fair and let them know change is about to occur). Let them know exactly what will happen if they leave the pieces/toys out. Tell them that the toy will be thrown away for good - and follow through by taking it to the garbage or donating it as someone else mentioned. Will they cry and scream and mourn the loss of the toy? Oh you bet they will. When they do, acknowledge their frustration only once and ask them "do you know why mommy had to throw away that toy?" (because we didn't put it away, because my baby brother could get hurt if he found it) "what could you have done differently in order to make the toy not go away?" (do a better job of cleaning up), and end it right there. If they continue to tantrum, ignore it. Do not continue to explain, give attention to, or justify your actions.
Good luck to you!
I too have 2 older children 5 and 7, and I have a 7month old that is crawling and moving around. I had the same problem. I told my kids, Im not going to take a chance to the baby choking, if you cant pick it up and put it away so she cant get it, I will throw it away. And I did. I only had to throw away a few small things, before they got the hint that I wasnt playing. It may sound harsh but my oldest choked on a penny when she was about 3, and I was so careful I still have no idea whee she got it from. My kids got a clue, now they will pick up the littlest piece of lint on the floor, or a leaf that has come into the house and throw it away so "the baby doesnt get it".. I know its hard to be strict sometimes but I agree that a precious baby is not worth taking a chance over.
I must say. I've had the same problem with my two older sons as well because I have a 10 month old baby boy. I hate to say it. The only thing that has worked with my oldest is giving him an allowance. He's been picking them up everyday since I told him that I would give him an allowance for doing so. So bribery worked with that one. My middle child I'm still working on, but the other day all I did was ask him if he could do me a favor by picking up his toys and suprisingly he did it.
Maybe you could show your kids a toilet paper roll. Anything that can fit inside of it is a choking hazard. You can leave it somewhere so that they can check things on their own.
