Pregnant with 2Nd Baby, Concerns! Please Read and Respond.

I have been in a spot very similar to you, and experienced some of the same feelings that you expressed. I felt scared, overwhelmed, overworked and basically freaked out by an unexpected 2nd pregnancy when my first extremely high maintenance baby was 11 months old.

Was it easy? NO!

Would I change it? Some things, maybe.

Would I give up my second baby? Never. EVER.

All I can tell you from my experience is that, it works out the way it is supposed to work out. My girls are 8 and soon to be 7.

Every day is crazy.

But every day is wonderful too.

I hope everything works out for you.

I know everything seems very overwhelming right now but having lost my baby at 19 weeks pregnant last week....miscarriage is not what you should be thinking of. I have never in my life gone through the pain I am in right now. Please rejoice that you are pregnant and pray for a healthy pregnancy.

Hang in there girl. Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed in your situation?

My marriage almost didn't survive our first child. Not to say that our little boy isn't the light of our life, but he was just enough challenge to push us to the edge and we separated last summer. We're back together now, after lots of counseling and repeated apologies for how we treated each other during that stressful time.

This may not be the answer for you, but as a follower of Christ, I believe it can be the answer for everyone...

When my husband gave up on us and we separated, I was left feeling completely empty, heartbroken and lost. I never imagined that I could feel better. I was convinced that recovery from the trauma I was experiencing was beyond reach. I would never trust again and I would be bitter forever. Among the other voices telling me that I was right to feel that way, one friend kept telling me to take my pain to Jesus.

I finally reached a point where I couldn't handle the pain and the pressure of the responsibility of raising my 9-month-old son on my own. So I got on my knees and asked for peace. Anyone who has ever recieved Jesus can tell you that the relief is indescribable. Of course, all my problems were not instantly solved, but I finally felt like I truly was not alone. To feel like there is a higher being who actually loves me enough to listen to my cry for help, one tiny voice in a world full of grief, gave me the strength to keep going. And the more I prayed, the more I was able to do things I never thought I could do.

When my husband came to me and begged for a second chance, I had every right to tell him it was too late, but I was able to let go of my anger and forgive him. We are now happier than we have ever been. Our situation is still stressful, money is tight, and our little boy (now almost 2) is even more challenging than before. My husband can't work right now and our son has some medical issues. But I'm not afraid any more and I know that God will get us through this, and anything else life throws at us.

This may not be what you want to hear, but I felt compelled to share, so maybe it's what you need. We were never promised that life would be easy. But we were promised comfort and love. Even if you don't believe in what I'm telling you, I hope you will be comforted in knowing that I care for you and I will pray for you and your family.

With love and care,

T. Q

i so know where you are coming from! when my first born was 13 months old (now 27 months), my husband and i found out we were pregnant. we were very excited as we wanted our children close in age. what we were not expecting was for me to be carrying twins! i was overwhelmed with so many emotions, fear that i could not handle being one of the biggest ones. now, my twins are almost 5 months old and i am so happy with the way things turned out. i, too work a physically demanding job and my husband works a lot, so it has been challenging. but overall wonderful! my older son loves the twins and it is overwhelmingly emotional to watch all three of them interact. now, in retrospect, i would not change anything. so hang in there, we only get what we can handle, and if you love motherhood with your first born, you will love it even more with the next, because you will also be watching brayden with a baby which gives you a whole new feeling of love for your family! i hope this helps, and try to enjoy all of this time right now. please do not hesitate to contact me if you ever need advise or to vent, i needed a lot of that during the last pregnancy! good luck. K.

You are not alone. I am currently 7 months pregnant with #2 and have a very high maintenance 16 month old daughter. I had a lot of the same feelings you do when I first found out. My husband and I planned on having our kids close together, but not this close. It took me a long time to get excited about this baby. I am a stay at home mom (thank God! - I don't think I could do it otherwise), and I have back problems too. I also had problems with Post Partum depression after my daughter was born, and I am scared to death of having problems again after this one comes. But I am getting excited - it just took a little longer this time. I think being scared is a good thing - it means you understand the gravity of your situation and you take your job as mommy seriously. I have been told, and I do believe it... no one is ever completely ready to have another baby, but once the baby gets here you just make it work, and one day will look back and wonder why you were so anxious to begin with. Good luck and if you would like to keep in touch with someone who is in a similar boat... private message me for my email address.

1st off You have every right to feel that way. My daughter had 2 boys 11 months apart. she went crazy. She couldn't pay her bills had to move in with us and of course with the new baby and breast feeding he got all the attn. So we as grandparents had to pick up the slack with the other one.Then she got pregnant with the third. I sat down and had a long talk with her. I let her know she couldn't handle the first two now you are going to have another? Needless to say she took my advice and had an abortion. She is now happier than ever has her own place , they now get the same attention and is now engaged and can't thank me more. And believe it or not I am the step-mother.All I can say is spend the time you haven't been able to with your bubbly boy . Don't stress yourself out. Think with your heart what would be best.

Hi K.,

you do have a lot on your shoulders, to be sure. Well, since you mention that you are opting to go to term, plan for that future. It will be great for your son to have a sibling! Not only are you going through the hormone swings of pregnancy, you are juggling many things. It's hard to step back and really see what's best. Do you have some friends that could come by and help with housework once a week, or stay with your fiance and son while you take some time for yourself? Bring in some take out? Even a couple of hours to do something you like doing helps. Not just running errands, try doing something that relaxes you. For some, it's getting a manicure. For others, it's exercise. It is not selfish to take care of you, too.
The back pain seems to be directly related to the pregnancy, but if you need a really good Chiropractor, let me know. She is great! I have changed from one that did the same old thing every visit and I had the same old problem every week. She did different things and now I don't have the same problems. Even a good massuse can help. I do know of a couple that are very good. One is a doula and massuse. Great combo! Good luck and just think positive.

i am just going to say forst off that wether you have your second child 11 months or 5 years after your first you are ALWAYS freaked out!!!! and after the baby is born there will be more than one time you say"what the heck did i do" but.....the great thing for you as stupid as it may sound is that you will never know the difference!!!! you will not know what it is like to have your children 5 years apart. does that make sense??? just calm down and get over your initial shock and stary celebrating! i have so many friends that are adopting and failing at IVF because they can't get pregnant! so just remember that there is a reason god gave YOU this baby and find comfort in that. you will be fine. and as a mom of 2 i can say that the first 4-5 months are a breeze, and at that point you have the hang of it anyway! it is ok to feel scared, but in the long run it will all work out. you need to stay "in control" and just try to be happy! you will do GREAT!!!!!! good luck!!!!

Everything will fall in to place!

This will be one of the most challenging yet rewarding times of your life. I have a 21 month old and an 8 month old. I also was scared and a whole bag of other emotions when I found out. Throughout the pregnancy I found it difficult to connect with the baby or even enjoy being pregnant. But I must say I love seeing my daughters together. They care for each other and are developing a friendship even at this young age. I am excited that they will have each other to lean on as they experience life together.

Stay encouraged - Half of the battle is keeping your mind in the right place. God has entrusted you with two beautiful lives, he would not have done that if he did not think you were capable.

First of all I will like to say God bless you. The Lord will not put on you more than you can bare. I was kind of in the same situation. I got pregnant after 10 years of my tubes being tied. In a way I felt excited, shocked, disappointed and a feeling of why me! Out of all the women in the world who have gotten their tubes tied, why I had to be the 1 in 1,000(they said who get pregnant with their tubes tied)to get pregnant. I am not going to lied, I forgot about my faith for a minute. After talking to the Lord and my Pastor, I begun to accept my pregnancy as an blessing. My son is now 14 months and couldn't imagine my life without him. Accept and appreciate the fact that the Lord blessed you with your pregnancy being that their is so many women who want to be pregnant but can't get pregnant. I pray that everything go good for you, and with God help I know it will.

Hi Just wanted to say hang in there you can make it through this i know how you feel not all the same but my daughter is almost 12 months and i am 11 weeks along. Alot of your fears are stress related. im sure its all overwhelming right now but keep your chin up and take a deep breath. And i dont know if family is an option as far as some help to ease your mind. I am sure all will work out well for u..

K.,
Listen I know where you are coming from but being a mother already you should know that anything is possible just keep your head up and try your best to save all the money that you can so later that doesn't become a drawl back!
I am a mother of 2 at the age of 20 years old i was 17 when i had my son and he will be 3 in november, my daughter is 5 months today. I have a great man who works around the clock day and night so that we can get a home. One week ago his step mother basically threw us out of their home with no other place to go! We are now bouncing from place to place just to sleep shower and eat but everyday i look at those 2 faces and think that i may not have much in life but i want to give them a better one then they have now! And for that i work my bottom off. I am just starting a job tomorrow, and I know that it is going to be even harder but i love my children more than life itself and i would do anything for them and after a few months you will grow to love this baby and hopefully look forward to having it no matter what the troubles!
Keep your head up and pray everyday that a solution will come to you, and mother to mother i think that you will be fine in the end. I am not saying that it is going to be easy b/c then i would be lying, but a mother can walk through fire when it comes to children!
Abortion is not something that is easy to handle i have seen 2 of my friends go through with it, and you'll never be the same. i am glad that you are not considering that!

If you ever need to talk or need some advise i know a lot of organizations that can help!

email me at ____@____.com and I will send you my number.
S.--- Longwood, FL

hi, YOU will get through this. my first two were 16 months apart, my exhusband was no help at all drug addictict etc...I did not know how it was going to end up but I putting your faith in GOD is how I did it. My children are now 14 and 13, wonderful as can be..I also have a 6 year old. It works out...and mostly what your are feeling is just all the hormones...trust me...trust yourself and mostly trust GOD...it will be wonderful
kristy

People have given you good advice. My insight on your situation is There is a reason you are pregnant for 10 months...not only for your baby to become a healthy thriving soul but for everyone to slowly become ready for this miracle that is going to happen.
Our baby was suprise to say the least and I was petrified. I knew I thought I wasnt ready....I got "the ultimate pregnancy organizer" and I journaled everything and it made me aware of what was happening, it made me see what pregnancy is all about and it made me appriciate everythign I went through. And at about 38 weeks, I was ready!!!!
Good luck!

HI K.,
I kinda understand how you feel. My daughter is now 12 and I wanted another baby but it just wasn't meant for me. Every time I thought that I might be pregnant I was terrified that we wouldn't be able to afford it or I wouldn't be able to handle it and also because of the medication tha my husband was on it could cause birth defects and didn't know if I could raise a child with birth defects the way this world is. I too had to go back to work full time and I did miss out on alot with her. If I could do it all over I would have tried to stay home. The only thing that made it easier was that my mother-in-law had just retired and she wanted to keep her during the day for us so she was at least with family. I am now a stay at home my with my own home base business. I am an Independant Distributor for Premier Designs Jewelry, Inc. I make my own hours, run my own business and make money haveing fun. I do home fashion shows with the jewelry that I sell. If this is something you think you might be interested in so that you can stay at home with your son and have fun at the same time please contact me at ###-###-#### or ###-###-#### or email me at ____@____.com or if you think you might like to invite several of your girlfriends over for coffe or soda and look at some jewelry that they can play in let me know. This is a wonderful company to work for. Please contact me if you would like more info.

Good luck with you new baby. Just remember that God does not give us anything that we cannot handle. Just have faith.

L. G.

K.,
Everyone here has already given you some on point advice. I would just say look on the bright side of things. You are blessed to have a partner that is excited about this upcoming baby (alot of Dads are not!)
You have Brayden who is awesome, and probably would look forward to being a big brother!

After this baby, just take this as a lesson, and consider getting a IUD! I hear Mirena is good.

Hey K.,

All I can say is hang in there!! It is normal to be so scared and conflicted with all that you have going on. Two of my children are 18 months apart, and I will not tell you it is easy in the beginning, but I will say that now that they are older, life is sooooo great. They are best of friens and entertain each other all the time. Being in charge of everything it seems to me is what women and moms in particular are all about. Voicing your concerns is a great step for your being able to handle them! Best wishes, and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I was scared too when I found out I was pregnant with second baby, who is now nearly two (my oldest is nearly three). It all works out in the end. God knows what he wants for you, have faith in that.

I understand you are under much pressure and I am sorry you have so much on your plate. Perhaps you finace can start picking up some of the slack by looking into more lucrative jobs so that you can tend to the children. Or if he can't do that because of his surgery, maybe you could role reverse until he can get up and running again, as in you look into making money and he stays home. I bet within a week he'll want to switch back! lol!

Make a list of your finances, and how much gas, food, clothing, day care expenses, it takes for you to go to work. They have work sheets available in books at barnes n noble and parenting magazins, ect.

I argued with my husband about the need to go to work and honestly, it worked out that we'd be spending more for me to go to work than for me to stay home and clip coupons. Another note: I looked into daycare for two and the LOWEST I've found was $1000 per month.
Good luck and God Bless. Have faith, it will all work out and you will be okay! :O)
~J.

As hard as it may seem right now, it gets easier. Now you know what to expect and maybe now you can prepare for what is to come. Be strong, your hormones are acting up right now, we all know how that can be.

I can totally understand. My daughter is 18 months old and I feel insanely overwhelmed at just caring for her, my home, and working full time. I have no clue how I would do it with another one. However, I do know that I was scared to death with my first one and I had no clue how I would survive that either. I did fine and being a mommy is what makes me happy too. I have major guilt issues about being gone from Kyleigh during the day but I know its good for her too.

I totally understand and I think anyone would feel the way you do in that situation. Just remind yourself that you can do it and everything always works out.