One Nap Vs. Two Naps?

Hi - I was not an expert at all when I had my first child who was a horrible sleeper in general. However, her daycare providers were 2 awesome lady/grandmothers who had each been working in the baby / toddler rooms for 15+ years - so I went with their expertise which was pretty much what you first tried with the 1 nap. Both of my kids at about 13 months went to the 1 nap schedule. Started out like you said, but got better and better as they got more used to the new schedule. I would stick with it and they will adjust.
Mine were definitely cranky / tired more at night but eventually things worked out great. Good luck!

J.:

Hello! I don't have twins, but I understand your dilemma!

They are getting older and eventually naps fade away - much to mommy's chagrin.

Keep a log over the next two weeks - find out what works best for them.

DO NOT put them to bed earlier - put them to bed at 8PM, yes, they may be really tired, but you won't have as many problems as they get older.

My boys started taking one nap a day around 16 months and it was a longer nap, right after lunch. I have NEVER moved my schedule around the kids - if something needed to be done, it was done - vacuuming (I didn't want my kids to be extra light sleepers like my niece and nephews whose mom unplugged the phone and kept the house VERY quiet while they were sleeping).

if one of the twins doesn't want to nap - have that one help you get something done - they really do like to help and this makes them feel "needed".

I hope this helps!

You are going through one of the roughest times w/ twins! My twins also had different sleep patterns; Eli stopped needing a morning nap before Owen and would just carry on the whole morning nap time. I transitioned to just the afternoon nap by keeping them busy going out in the morning about the time they used to nap, then putting them down after lunch. That was at about 15-16 months, but all babies are different (and mine were born at 32 wks). Occasionally if they were acting really tired or if their schedule was mixed up (as we were at the in-laws for the holidays), I would still put them down for at least an attempt at a morning nap (that way they at least had some quiet time and if they didn't sleep by 1/2 hr I would get them up), and sometimes if they were cranky beyond belief in the late afternoon I would even put them down for a short nap then before supper (it worked most of the time; you do what you have to). Just know that this too shall pass, but it took about 3 months for us! They are 23 mo now and nap in the afternoon like champs anywhere from 1 to 3 hours, depending on how tired they are. My friend w/ twins several months younger than mine just went through this too; it does get easier!

we nver had "nap time". instead mine took naps when they were tired for as long as they wanted. i went where ever i wanted and if they were tired tey slept in the car or stroller. never had issues with grumpy babies so it must have worked. unless you are schedual minded and need that set asside time id try to let loose a bit and let baby tell you when they are tired. another option is to have that time that they tke a nap every day and if they dont want to nap thats fine but they must rest or play quietly with maybe some soft music or a mozart movie or something relaxing to play to in their rooms as down time for them and get something done time for you. i never had troubles getting things done around the house with the kids awake but if you do try teaching them that mommy is busy and this is the time you have to get things done and if they cant play alone right now they will have to _________. you might have to try it for awhile to get them to understand but they will have to eventually. mine sat in the highchair while i cooked or did dishes if they couldnt stay from underfoot. i'd give them a snack that took foirever to eat or a new/old toy they forgot about. mine took showers with me so that wasnt a problem. anything else can be done whn they go to bed before you. hope this helps.

It's such a unique situation having twins, isn't it? You can't really just follow the baby's lead the way some have suggested when there are two babies to be concerned with. It's not even so much about you having time to yourself (though I don't consider doing laundry and dishes "me time") but as you said, when the babies are on different schedules you really are stuck in the house all day long. That's not good for them either.

I always had one twin who seemed to need more sleep than the other, so it wasn't a big surprise when, at about 15 months, one of them started to give up the morning nap while the other still clearly needed it. For a short time, maybe a week or so, I put them both in for the morning nap and while one slept the other played contentedly in her crib. She was always exhausted before it was time for the second nap though, so what I did was to spend the morning doing lots of activity and keep them both awake until about 1:00, then put them both in together. I guess I just sort of forced them into a one nap schedule. They both actually adapted very quickly. At first the nap was short, about 1.5 hours. I don't remember how long it took for the nap to extend to it's eventual length of 3-3.5 hours, but it did. Throughout, I kept their bedtime at a very consistent 7:00. I never had a problem with early morning wakings, but my girls were also pretty good about just playing quietly in their cribs when they woke up so they may have woken up a little and then gone back to sleep. They consistently woke up for the day at 7:00.

I think you are right about at the right age now to switch to one nap, so I'd just go for it and be very consistent about what time you put them in for nap and bedtime, even if it means keeping them up for a bit when they're sleepy. They will most likely adjust without too much trouble. Incidentally, my third baby switched to one nap at only 7 months! Her choice there, not mine!

I feel that the dropping from two to one naps is one of THE hardest transitions and it almost seems to take forever. I think you did a great job in sensing they were 'ready' but sometimes they go back to two for a little while, some days they may need two, somedays only one. They are most likley waking up earlier because they are overtired (sounds weird, I know). On the days they do take one nap, I would definitely put them bed much earlier. It sucks for you since you have two and they clearly will not always do the same nap thing....you may have a day where one needs two naps and the other baby only needs one.....I promise you are on the right track, just preserve their sleep as much as possible.....

My son is 14 months and up until about a month ago he steadily took a 2 hr nap in the morning and 3 hr nap in the afternoon. Now he has days when he does 2 naps, and days that he does 1 nap. We just follow his lead. If he's ready for a nap, he goes down for a nap. However, I do not let him go down for a nap past 4, and make sure he's up by 5.

He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30, depending on how he's napped for the day and how tired he is. He sleeps until somewhere between 8 and 9.

J.,

Be patient. Transitioning to one nap takes some time. But they definitely need to switch to one. I was able to push my little guy back to 11:30 almost right away. Now he goes down at 12:30 (I give him lunch around 11:30am) Oh, he is now 18 mos and we started the transition to one nap around 13 mos. Now he sleeps from about 12:30-3:30. He would do the wake up after 1 1/2 hours at first too, but you can tell they haven't slept enough. My advice is try to let them cry themselves back to sleep. And actually watch the clock!! Give them about 15 mintures of crying before you go get them up. It can seem like 2 minutes is 30 if you aren't actually timing it.

good luck!
SAHM of 2
L.

I feel like I just went through this with my son. He just turned 16 months. Every kid is different. Some go to 1 nap by 12 or 13 months, some by 15 months or so, some even later. Unfortunately with twins, one may be ready for one nap, one may still need two!!

Anyway, when my son, who is a VERY reliable sleeper, suddenly started not napping the same and not getting his best night of sleep, I didn't know what was going on and I felt like I never knew when to put him down and he still always seemed tired!!! What we went through was a few weeks of chaos where I tried one nap, then two, then finally decided one was better. Then he only took one nap, but it wasn't very long and I had to put him to bed so early, but then a couple of weeks after that, he finally settled into a good rhythm. Now he takes one 3 hour nap in the afternoon and sleeps about 7pm to 7am.

Some kids take a few days or a week or two to make the transition and some take several weeks or more. With twins, they could be creating even more chaos because you're trying to figure both of them out (I, myself, can't stand the chaos!!). It does sound like they're making the transition and until they find their new rhythm, it may be unpredictable. (I've heard some people with twins say they just put them on the same nap schedule whether they're both ready or not, just to reduce chaos. That part's up to you.)

Hang in there! You've got a lot on your plate!
B.

I've got 19 month old twins and they still often sleep in the morning. Some days they sleep in the morning and not in the afternoon and vice versa. I also have one ready to transition, and one not ready. I always keep them on the same schedule, simply for my own sanity. I'm not too concerned about getting to that one nap thing. Please don't listen to idiots who respond by saying 'your a mom, you don't get "me" time.' Of course you deserve a break. It's exhausting, and sometimes maddening and I find that after two or three hours, I'm ready to sit down and have some coffee. My girls have that time up in their cribs in the morning, almost without exception. Sometimes, its just quiet time. I let them pick out a book. Sometimes, I come in and their sleeping on top of the book. I think you should trust your instincts, and do what you want to do. And don't listen to that 'super mom' B.S. Nap time is a blessing.

Relax about the nap thing, you are driving yourself and your children crazy. Just go with the flow. Look, you had kids you do not get any "me" time. I have two kids under two a twenty month old and a 4 month old, when one is sleeping the other is awake and that is just they way it is. I tried to do what you did, but ended up driving myself crazy. You can't change your kids but you can change your priorities and yourself. My house is a little messy sometimes laundry and dishes don't get done, but the most important thing at the end of the day is if I spent enough time with my children. I am home all day with my children from 7am-7pm, I know how you feel about "me" time. Some days you will get "me" time and some days you wont. Just be happy you have two beautiful children and know that it goes so much faster than you think, and one day they will all grow up and you will be sitting in your chair with all the "me" time in the world wondering what happend. That's not to say you can still have a bit of "me" time when they are awake or one is awake. Look at it as an oppertunity to spend one on one time with your children. When one is sleeping, spend time with the other and vise versa. You can still get a lot of stuff done with only one awake. Have them help you do the laundry, make it fun for them. I bought my daughter some play dishes and when I do the dishes I ask if she can help and she "helps" with her dishes, I give her a towel and a fake bottle of soap and yay the dishes get done (somtimes). Just go with the flow, look at it as an oppertunity. Try to figure out how to get "me" time in while they are both awake, such as give them a new toy to play with or have them play with eachother while you read a magazine on the couch for instance. Be creative. It will come to you!

Hi J.,
I have so been there. My twins were 13 months and we had the same situation. http://www.mamasource.com/request/5512626376051523585

With twins you need a reliable schedule. I wouldn't try going back to two naps because you are going to have too many days where baby boy take am nap and baby girl takes pm nap - not ok for mommy. I would put them to bed at 6:30 for now - that won't cause them to get out of bed earlier and may cause them to sleep later. It would be great if you could get them to nap around 11 by feeding them a snack before and lunch after, but my twins wouldnt have it so I could never get them to nap that early but they would have been happier. As the pattern settles they may only sleep for 1.5 - 2 hours. Not every child will take a 3 hour nap - you just have to wait and see. Get quiet toys and books in their cribs and work on teaching them to play when they wake up. For the first couple weeks of one nap you need to work really hard to keep them using up energy in the morning so that they really are tired for that nap and so they don't fall asleep in the car, that will help them sleep longer. Now is a great time to join a moms club.

As for the 5:30 wake up heres the advice I got http://www.mamasource.com/request/14155796750446624769.

I defitely stayed the course with the early bedtime - I think the 5:30 wakeup was definately due to be tired from a new sleep time. The 5:30 thing was a phase, and I had to teach them that I would only come and comfort them and put them back too bed. I would let them fuss for about half an hour after they got up early and eventually they moved it back to 6:30. However they now can usually just play and talk unti 7:00 because I taught them to stay in bed. I showered while they fussed so I didn't have to hear it. Getting up at 5:30 was not an option for us.

Oh and just a tip - when we gave up AM nap I intituted quiet time in thier cribs. I got special toys just for quiet time and made a 20 minute cd of music. They go in just when they used to have the nap if we are home, but with happy music, toys and the lights on. I shower or have 20 minutes free. A poor substitute for nap, but it helps. Also my kids have grown to love it since its the only time they can play with toys without being bothered. They now often ask for it in the morning.

I personally feel babies need two naps as long as possible. After kids turn one year of age, they get really smart oabout fighting sleep. With my kids, they both discovered they oculd complain about sleeping and give me a hard time. That doesn't mean they don't need to sleep.

I think a lot of Moms take away the extra nap for convenience (so they can be more active during the day) or because they don't want to persevere wiht a sleep routine. My first child took two naps until she was around 20 months (and napped until she was almost 4!!). My baby is almost 18 months and she is just starting to give up the morning nap. Every couple of months since she was about 10 months old I thought she might be giving it up, but I found tha tby putting her down a little later or keeping her a little busier in the morning, and she went back to the routine. The reason I think this is really IT is because she is starting to sleep into her monring nap itme - instead of getting up at 6-7 am, she is suddenly sleeping until 8-9 am.

I will say tha tmy kids coul dusually tolerate only one nap at that age on the occasions when we had to be out and about. There's nothing wrong with tha toccasionally. But they still really needed two. I would stick with napping two naps, but I would consider moving the naps a bit later. Sleep is under-rated but really so key to health and attention/concentration/learning. Good luck!!

Reading your post was like you were living my life (x2). My son is 15 months and we have been going through the same nap drama since he was about 13 months old. He goes to daycare 3 days a week and he started taking only one nap there. When he was home with me, he continued taking two naps for about another month and then he started refusing the afternoon nap. I've tried and tried to move the morning nap later, but he can barely keep his eyes open past 10. I fought against the move to one nap for over a month and then I just gave in and went with it. Now, he takes a pretty solid 2-3 hour nap, but it is often between 10 and 1, which means he is VERY tired and cranky by dinner time. I do my best to keep him up and entertained until at least 6:30. He usually wakes up between 6:30 and 7:30 in the morning. I simply refuse to get up with him before that time and if he wakes up early, I don't get him out of his crib until 7. SO, any way, I do not think you rushed them out of the two naps too early. I think if you stick with the one nap and maybe try keeping them up a little later in the evening, the midday nap will get longer. GOod Luck. Know that you are not alone...