Need Cliff Notes on Crying It Out Method!

I know kids can sleep all night at 5 months or younger but my dr told me to not let my son CIO at that young ....
Here is my blog from when I let my son CIO at 9 months.
Before that he had been waking 1 or 2 times a night for a bottle.
I outlined the whole thing....night by night.
http://heltontexas.blogspot.com/2008/11/sleep-has-come.html

We have had a couple hiccups since this but now he's doing GREAT!

OK. I totally hear you. Good for you for making a decision that will ultimately benefit your whole family, because it will allow you to get some rest. I have had success with different methods for each child (I have three). My latest would not go to sleep unless nursed to sleep and then held the entire time. We tried everything! Finally had to let him cry. I had to let the eldest cry too. So hear are my thought....
1. Focus on how long she is awake. When she is rested, no more than 2 hours. Since she is sleep deprived like you, she may only be able to handle an hour for right now. As soon as she starts yawning or showing early since of sleepiness, rush her to bed and put her to bed awake.
2. I would NOT swaddle so that she learns to sleep without it.
3. If it is nap time, let her cry for the duration of the nap (roughly 45 min. to 1 hr.) and then have your eating and awake time and repeat the process.
4. Bedtime: place her in the bed awake. Let her cry until she falls asleep.
5. It has always taken about 3 days for mine to get it all figured out and then start to form a normal schedule.

Tips to try:
Baby Whisperer Method: place in bed awake, leave the room. If she begins to really go to town crying, go in and comfort and when she is calm, leave again. Repeat until she sleeps. (work at it for an hour at naps and till she sleeps at night)

Feber Method: place in bed awake. When she begins to cry go in at intervals & reassure (gently speak and pat, do not pick up). Start at 5 minute intervals and length your intervals each day (10 min, 15, 20 etc.) Same general time at naps and then till sleep occurs at night.

Cold Turkey: Lay them in the bed and let them work it out. Pick a duration that you feel your child can handle and then check on them and then leave.

My 1st born cried for 1 hour and 1/2 the first night, 45 the next and 5 minutes the next. I hadn't slept in four months for more than 45 minutes at a time for weeks. We were miserable. My 3rd. cried 40 minutes the first night, then 20 then 10 then not at all. They are all different.

One more thought, at five months your babies brain is mature enough to handle learning to put herself to sleep. Your pediatrician will advise you not to let her go hungry (she should need to eat every 3-4 hours during the day and go longer at night).

Here are the books I have read over the years:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby
The Baby Whisperer
The Sleep Sense Method
Ferber Method

I hope this helps. You can send me questions off-line if you like. Good Luck.

I don't know about the crying it out method, but what about having her sleep with you? It might help you both sleep better.

I used the Ferber Method and it worked like a champ! Basically, you put your baby to bed with him awake but tired, tell them it's night night time, give them a blankie or something for security and walk out of the room. The Ferber method focusses on letting them cry but also going in there to let them know it's ok so they don't loose your trust. The Ferber Method gives you a timeline on when to go in there... so here it is...

1st night: 3min, 5min, 10min This means after you lay your baby in bed and they start crying you go in there after 3 min. don't say much and don't pick them up, simply give them their blankie or whatever, rub their forehead or something nurturing like that and say it's ok, it's night night time then leave the room. The crying will become more intense...now you wait 5 min. go back in there if they are still crying and do the same thing all over again. Then you wait 10 min. If they are still crying after the third visit you go in there every 10 minutes until they fall asleep (it's always your third waiting time).

2nd night: 5min, 10min, 12min.
After third waiting period you go in there every 12min until they are asleep. You do the same thing from night one excpet the waiting periods are longer.

3rd night: 10min, 12min, 15min,
after third waiting period you go in there every 15min. until baby is asleep.

4th night: 12min, 15min, 17min
after third waiting period you go every 17min.

5th night: 15min, 17min, 20min
after third time go every 20min

6th night: 17min, 20min, 25min.

7th night: 20min, 25min, 30min

Your baby should be sleeping by now...it took my son 3 nights and it worked like a champ...my son was 11 months and still waking up twice a night to eat (12am and 3am) when I finally came to my senses...not sure what took me so long espcecially since I have a two year old as well.
When he started sleeping through the night his naptimes during the day got better. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck!

Leslie

I think your problem is going in to check on her. Everything I've ever heard about the cry-it-out method says you shouldn't go in and check on the child. That's like starting the clock over again each time. If you want to see what's going on, I suggest getting a camera in her room so you can see her without going in (either one of those baby monitor ones or go to a store like Fry's. They have lots of different options.)

First of all, I understand about being busy and sleep deprived (I have an 18 month old and a 10 week old) but you need to find the time to read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has sections by age, so you do not have to read the entire book. You can find time to read for 5 minutes a day at least. I say this because there is so much good information in the book. I will outline some of it, but the book is so helpful, I've read it at least 4 times now! (and just so you know that it works, my son went from never sleeping more than 2 hours at a time to sleeping for 12 hours straight at night after just 2 days of work!)

First of all, you probably need to address your daytime napping as well as your evenings. Your baby needs to be rested during the day in order to easily fall asleep at night... best phrase from the book: Sleep begets sleep. Your baby needs to be soothed to sleep within 1-2 hours of waking. So if your baby wakes at 7 in the morning, you should make sure they are back asleep by 9 (that means start soothing by 8:45). If they wake up from that nap at 10:00 then their next nap should start at about 12:00 and so on. They should sleep for at least an hour at a time to be good sleep. Bedtime should be between 6:00-8:00 pm. Keeping them up later does not mean they fall asleep better or stay asleep longer.

As far as the cio method, it depends on the child how you handle it. For some children, coming back in every 5-10-15 minutes will work, but for others (like my son) I could never go in to check or it made things worse. The book says that in this case, you let them cry it out for as long as it takes. The longest I think he cried for was 2 hours, that only happened once. No, it does not emotionally scar them, but it does teach them to self soothe and that bedtime is for sleep and nothing else. Since I have started this with my son, he has slept through the night 12-13 hours everynight and I have only gone in his room 3 times... twice for tornado warnings (to take cover) and once because he had a fever and I wanted to take his temperature. He is very happy and well rested now and never fights sleep unless we have messed his schedule up and put him down too late or we skipped his nap.

As for the swaddling, I was in the same boat with that as well. I thought I had to swaddle him to keep him asleep, and when he started rolling, I was sure he would suffocate. As it turns out, he only needed the swaddle because he was overtired. As soon as we corrected the naptimes and bedtimes, he no longer needed the swaddle.

One more thought. Everyone needs different things in order to sleep well. Some people like it dark, others like it dim. Some like it quiet, others like background noise. My son MUST sleep in the pitch black (we have room darkening shades) and with white noise (a giant air filter). If he doesn't have these things, he either doesn't sleep or doesn't sleep well. Maybe you need to change something about the nursery to make it easier to sleep in.

This is only the basic information you would get from the book, there is so much more, please find the time to read it! I just started rereading part of it again now that my baby is getting to the age to start scheduling naps. It is so worth it!

If you have any questions, feel free to email me. Good luck!
A.

Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I started around 4 months and they are now 3 and 4 years old and are super sleepers. They've always put themselves to sleep (after about a 30-45 minute reading, snuggling 'ritual')and slept in their own beds! I had reservations at first, but after I read the book (written by a doctor)I had a better understanding and knew I was helping them, not hurting them. Good luck to you...this book saved me!!

I do not believe that the better answer is having your son sleep with you…..and I love how you ask for people not to respond if they do not believe in the method…..I used this method and it worked like a charm….after I thought nothing ever would. It took a good 3 days for it to work. The first night she cried for hours. I went in every 15 minutes and checked on her, but did not pick her up. I changed her diaper when needed and she ate when she was hungry. I also used a musical, light up thing on her crib and that helped! My doctor had a great point…..She had never heard of a baby dying because they were crying. It works!!! Just remember, the first week is the hardest! Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

I know you said you don't want to her this but letting a 5 month old cry for an hour is wrong. I suggest you try something else. I used The Baby Whisperer method and it worked like a dream.

I second everything Amanda M said. Healthy Sleep Habits is amazing, my kids sleep like pros. At the end of each age section there is an action plan for exhausted parents that exactly gives the 'cliff notes' you ask for. Just as encouragement, my oldest daughter was at the point at 4 months where she would only sleep in the swing and only when it was moving, we had a crank swing. I would sleep on the couch and wake up every twelve minutes to wind the swing. This was not good. That's when my dr gave me the book. She cried for three hours the first night, one the second and never more than ten minutes thereafter and she was sleeping twelve or more hours and would go right back to sleep after nursing in the middle. Mine were such that I could not check on them at the intervals, it made it worse. Anyway, remember that you wouldn't give her candy just because she cried so don't let her stay awake just because she cries. She needs sleep just as much as good food. BTW I've read the Baby Whisperer book and can I just say how confusing can you get? And the happiest baby applies specifically to babies in their "fourth trimester" which ends between 3 and 4 months. So 5 months is a great time to implement this.

Soothing one's self to sleep is a learned trait according to many parents I have spoken with as well as most of the experts. A great source is "The Happiest Baby on the Block"- you could check out the book or the DVD at your local library or buy it at the bookstore. Anyway, they have a great method for putting your baby or toddler down to bed at night. You basically put your child down and if they begin to cry or fuss you go in and check on them after 5 minutes. You soothe the child just by rubbing his back- do not pick up the child or lie down with him. Do not do this for very long- about a minute. Then walk out of the room and if the child continues to cry or fuss, wait another 10 minutes and go in and do the same soothing technique again. Walk out of the room- if the child continues to cry or fuss, go in again after another 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes, etc. We have had to do this "training" twice with our baby and it has worked like a charm. We have only had to go past the 5 minute increment one time. Good luck!

I have an 8 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. I've been dealing with this with both of them for the past month now. Well after seeing your post yesterday, I watched what people said. I already knew what I had to do, I just had to get up the energy to do it. I work five days a week and both my kids would be up all hours of the night. My 2 1/2 year old I've still got to work on, but he's going to Grandma's this weekend and his routine always gets out of whack when he goes down there, so I'm not forcing the issue too much with him until after Christmas. But he did get up twice and I put him straight back to bed both times and he slept until 5:45 this morning.
Now onto my darling daughter...She went to bed ok.(quit the swadling now so that you don't have to break that habit later on. Neither of my kids liked that, they don't like to be confined.) She woke up as usual at 1:30 in the morning. I let her cry for about 10-15 minutes to see if she would go back to sleep...she didn't. So I went in there, I picked her up for about 20 seconds laid her back down and of course she threw a fit, I patted her back for a couple of minutes and she was fine while I was doing that, but as soon as I stopped here came the tears. So I walked out said good night and went and started my time and laid on the couch. I of course couldn't remember how long to wait so I waited about 10 minutes, went back in there. Didn't pick her up this time, just put her pacifier in her mouth and patted her back. Didn't pat her as long this time and said good night. Went back to the couch and waited 12 minutes...and after I would say about 9 or 10 minutes she was asleep. She then woke up at 5, ready for her bottle and the rest is history. It does work you just have to be patient and keep it going. We'll see how she does tonight, but I am bound and determined to get these kids out of my bed and sleeping all night long.
Good Luck....keep us posted, I would love to hear what works for you!

I understand where you're coming from. I haven't had a full night's sleep for almost 2 years! BUT - 5 months old is too young. From everything I've heard/read, CIO is NOT for the younger babies. At 5 months old, crying is the only communication method there is and they REALLY need to trust that you'll be there for them.

Check out the DVD for Happiest Baby on the Block - I got it from the library. Great info, very helpful. There also might be some other DVD's on sleep methods that might work for you - faster than books! :)

Swaddling is great - best for babies, so you're doing right there :) There are some great things called Swaddlers at Babies-R-Us - they're just a pouch with velcro-wrap arounds. Much easier to put on, and will probably make you feel safer than the blanket version. It's common that some babies wake themselves up of not swaddled.