What Experience Have You Had with "Ferberizing"

Just please remember one thing I WISH I KNEW back when I had my first and tried this method. Each child "comes with" his/her own temperament. I can't stress this enough. Therefore, there are some methods that work for one temperament beautifully, that fail miserably on another kid the same age, who has a different disposition. The results for us were terrible because it totally backfired, and then and only then, did I understand. But I do know some moms swear by it. All I can say is, see if it works, but keep this in mind if it doesn't, and just try a different approach.
It's a tough thing to teach, but it's great you're ready.
Good luck,
M.

LOVE IT!! it works, all 3 of my kids were able to sleep on their own by 6. It will be hard for a few days-you have to commit. My husband had a much harder time tahn I did-in a few days you'll be done!

Hi A., I am a Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach and I use a modified version of Ferber depending on the age and issue. I think it works great. I have "sleep Trained" babies as young as 10 weeeks using a variation of his method. Keep it up and be consistant, it will get better! The night will improve first and then the naps will follow. Good Luck,
K. Smith
www.theindependentchild.com

A.,

I'm not going to tell you Ferber is wrong...I personally could not let my son cry in order to get him to sleep. It just didn't make sense to me, and after discussing options with my doctor and reading several books...Sears, Karp, Pantley...I found that what I was doing by rocking my son to sleep worked better for us and kept him asleep for longer periods. He knew if he cryed out, or made a fuss Mommy was there for him.

Then, I did research and talked to NICU nurses and one shared this article/study from ABC News with me. It features clips and snips from Dr. Ferber who argues that his method is used incorrectly and at the wrong ages. A babies needs should be met, and that CIO simply teaches a baby to stop relying on their parents as sources of comfort.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4263379&page=1

At 5 months old, your baby is probably experiences growth spurts, developmental changes and for me this was a huge period for feeding on demand. I understand your concern for not wanting him to wake up alone, but making him cry just seems unnecessary if you are coming to him and meeting his needs. He knows Mommy will come to him not matter where he sleeps...right?

To each is own though, is what I say. Find what works best for you...my friend attempted Ferber and when she talked to her Pedi she said babies shouldn't be sleep taught until 9-10 months when they have passed all significant 'infant' phases.

I hope you have luck with whatever you choose!

I'm 80 years old, had 1 grl and 3 boys and have never heard of "ferberizing" I rocked all my children to sleep when they were small and snag to them, tightly wrapped in a blanket. Remember they came from a very warm tight place and they have to adjust to being alone. They all slept next to me in a crib on in bed with us until I felt they were able to handle being alone. They have all grown up very secure, none were ever afraid of the dark and some of them would come in our bed in the middle of the night until they were 3 or 4. I think most young people are in too much of a hurry for them to become "separate human beings" and it does take longer with some children than others...hope this helps. As they got older, I had a record player in their room with soft lullabys but would always spend time tucking them in and helping them say their prayers before sleep. I never let them cry themselves to sleep..I wouldn't like to do that so didn't expect them to either.

My son had a VERY hard time sleeping thru the night and going to sleep was really tough. I didn't want him to sleep in my arms until he went to college but like you I didn't want him to feel distressed. My husband who has 4 children from his first marrige said 'oh let him cry it out' An hour later I was about to run thru traffic! He just couldn't self soothe. I told hubby that we could try it again in a week. We did and got the same result. I decided that bedtime might just be a little overwhelming so we started doing naps instead. He has a twin bed in his room along with his crib. I would put him in the crib and I would go to the bed. He was angry to be in the crib and not play with toys but he felt safe because he could see mee. Not to mention that the best side effect is that I was 'forced' to nap too! I was there when he went to sleep and when he woke up. Slowly over about a week I started out napping with him and would sneak out when he was asleep. Then I would leave before he was asleep but I knew he was calm. Now he sleeps well and I wish he would stay in my lap long enough to rock!!! I say good luck to you and follow your mommy voice. And if people criticize your methods then hand them the baby and say 'cool...you do it!' That usually shuts them right down!!

When my oldest child was born 22 years ago, I had done extensive reading about babies. I had never read anything that said, "You must hold your baby until it's asleep, then try to lay it down without waking it up," so honestly, that thought never occurred to me. It just made sense to me that when a person is tired, they go to bed and fall asleep in bed, so that's how I treated my babies. (My kids are 22, 21, 14 and 10.) When they were tired, I lay them down in their bed, and they fell asleep, from the day they were born.

I honestly did not know that other moms didn't do the same thing until they started telling me. I had a friend over when my oldest was just a few months old, and I said, "Excuse me, I need to put the baby to bed." I could tell she was tired. So I walked into her room, lay her down and went back to the living room. My friend said, "That's IT? I thought it would take forever!" I was totally puzzled until she said, "I rocked my babies for hours before they fell asleep!" By that time, my daughter was sound asleep and my friend was even more amazed. I was very puzzled.

Very, very rarely did my kids cry when I put them to bed. When they did, I went in and rubbed their backs, but left them in bed. When they were sick, it might take a while. My kids have had very few sleep problems. My youngest is the only one who ever spent much time in our bed, but even then, we just lay her down and expected her to go to sleep, and she did. After she turned 6 months or so, she was always in her bed.

My kids are happy and affectionate, and sometimes too cuddly, so don't worry! :)

I know this isn't quite the story you're needing, since I never really had problems, but I wanted to let you know that what you're doing WILL help and WON'T hurt!

I did the Ferber method with both my girls and strongly believe it is a GREAT method. Nursing to sleep is not an excuse. I nurese as well and still did this method with great success!! I do think your baby is too young at 5 months old. I believe the Ferber book recommends around 8 months of age.

I did it with both girls and it LITERALLY took 3 nights until it worked. It is hard at first, you do hear them cry and it breaks your heart! But you are doing them a favor. Both of my girls now have WONDERFUL sleep habits and go to bed on their own and sleep through the night.

I have a lot of friends who don't believe in this method and constantly complain that they have to sit with their kids for hours to get them to sleep, drive them around etc.

You'll be amazed at how well it works!

Good method and it works, but most of the people I know didn't let them 'cry it out' till about 9m.

I nursed exclusively so all our children got used to falling asleep in my arms, with a breast in their mouth...beat that!

we waited a little longer to ferberize with the first, so our son was able to stand up in the crib and scream like he meant it...and he was a head banger. The first night was HELL. My husband had to leave and drive around the block while I sat on the couch and cried. But I swear, it works, and quickly. Night two was a huge improvement, and by night three he had it all figured out.

We travel quite a bit and get off our rhythm so each time we'd come home, the first night was difficult...but truly, if you can hang in there for that first night, the rewards are in sight. I used the method with all 3 of our kids, and it felt hard that first night with each...especially with the older kids begging us to "just pick him up already."

But they have all always been able to get themselves to sleep, and later that becomes even more important. We have friends still lying down with their kids till they fall asleep at 7 and 8.

The Ferber method is fairly easy. Not every method works for every child but this sure worked for us. It's done in a very loving reassuring manner. We did it when my oldest was 10 months old. He is so head strong (even as a baby) that I thought he would cry all night but the first night it took 45 minutes and less the next and so on... after about 3 - 4 nights he was fine. They eventually realize that it's not playtime, it's not time for mommy to give him attention, it's time to sleep! He was not a good sleeper before we did this but he has been ever since, he's now 6. It's important to teach our kids to be good sleepers on their own so they won't have sleep issues as teens and adults. My toddler was always a good sleeper but has had some issues lately and this method is helping him get back on track as well.

Check out mommywood.com - they have excellent advise.

Good luck!

If Ferber doesn't work for you, you might try co-sleeping. I know it's 180 degrees from what you are thinking about now, but it is also a great way to raise confident, independent little people. Here are some links about it:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/alezav16/default2.asp?tree=541

Best of luck!

I used a modified version of the ferber method. I don't know the entirety of that method (I didn't read the book)....but somebody described it/recommended it to me, and then I just modified it.

I developed a bed time routine, and I introduced a "lovey" for bedtime only. Then I put my son in his crib. If he cried, I would ONLY let him cry for 10 minutes.....but I would go in there sooner if he started to get hysterical. So, if he cried/fussed for 10 minutes straight, I would go in there and comfort him for a few minutes. Then I would put him back down.....and then same thing, if he cried, let him cry for another 10 minutes. Repeat again if necessary. Usually after the first round of crying/comforting, he fell asleep. Now he goes to bed on his own....ie I put him in his crib awake, and he falls asleep no crying.

It is HARD to let your kid cry for 10 minutes!!! I know the ferber method has you let them go longer.....I don't know if I am strong enough for that. Also.....don't let your baby get hysterical crying....they are obviously scared...and that does no good.

Just my opinion, but I think 5 mo old is a little early to start this!! I would try it at 7 mo or later.

We did a modified Ferber - he was put down but we sat by him with our hand on him till just a little bit after he fell asleep, did that for a while, then we reduced the physical contact over a period of time, meaning that we would take our hand off as soon as he fell asleep, then right before it looked like he was going to sleep, then while he was awake. We slept in his room as well, so that anytime he cried we were there immediately but our response time was lengthened - try out different ways as ateam - you will find a way that works for your family.

I am not familiar with the Ferber method, but I saw your update and wanted to respond to that. We did let our babies cry to learn how to get themselves to sleep (our general rule was to go in every 15 minutes, unless the cry was alarming or unusual). However, we started pretty much from birth (they fall asleep so quickly in the beginning, the "training" really started around the 2nd month or so) they they were happily going to sleep by the time they were 3 months old. I can imagine with a 5 month old that there would be differences in the baby's reaction, because they are so much more aware at that age. It also sounds like your little guy may be a bit stubborn (I have one of those, too, and I am stubborn myself!). We had our difficultues in the process (and lots of doubts and soul-searching) but we stuck with it and we are so glad we did! Both of our boys are great sleepers, AND they are very affectionate and cuddly with us. They are almost 4 and 2-1/2 years old now, so they are often too busy to slow down and cuddle, but they are the most affectionate little boys I have ever seen. They loved being cuddled as babies, and they still love it now.

I think you are doing the right thing for your son, and most importantly, YOU think it is the right thing for him. You know him better than anyone else and you are best suited to meet his needs. It may be a difficult couple of weeks (I've heard it may even take a month or so), but you will not regret it. You sound like a very loving and intelligent mom - you don't make decisions based only on how you "feel" about it, but what is best for your baby, even if it is hard. We have to make lots of decisions as parents that are very difficult but are best for our children. Lean on your husband during this time (they are generally stronger and remain level-headed even when the baby is crying). Make sure your husband knows you really need his support, too. Most men love to meet the challenge of being needed and be a hero for their wife! It is a difficult transition for a baby (and I had plenty of times when I was crying too) but you will love having a baby who goes to sleep happy and wakes up happy, and is happy all the time in between!

God bless you and your family!

I definitely believe Ferberizing is a good idea, but it only worked with my first of two kids. With the first kid, he cried like 40 minutes the first night, 20 min the second, 5 the 3rd, and 30 seconds for a few days after that.
But sadly, with the second kid we tried and were consistent for two straight months, I am NOT kidding and it never worked, he would cry for 2 straight hours! I even read the Weissbluff book. This just did not work for our second child, who just really had a very strong need to have us there when he fell asleep. This really sucked and it lasted until he was like 2 years old! We ended up meeting him halfway, by putting a mattress on the floor and laying in his bedroom on the floor next to his crib until he fell asleep (he was in the crib, not on the floor with one of us.) As long as he knew we were there, he was fine.
As it turns out, it is just his personality, he is very sweet and sensitive and that ended up being a great character trait for him. It just made for a very hard time for us when he was a baby, because the first kid had barely any separation anxiety, and the second was the exact opposite.
So I guess what I am saying, is definitely try ferberizing, but if you have done it right and tried for over a month, and still doesn't work, you might want to reconsider and try to figure out something that works better for your child's needs and temperment.

I have not used the ferber method, but it is great that you are training your son to fall asleep on his own- and 5 months is a great time to do it!! The older they get the harder it gets.

I am a sleep consultant with a sleep blog www.lullabyluna.com. There may be something on the blog that helps you. Good luck!

Ferber method: BEST thing I have ever done in my life! My life changed drastically once my babies did this. So here's my story: My first daughter was about 6 months when we did it. The two months leading up to it was a complete nightmare. Our doctor recommended the ferber method and we went for it. It only took ONE night! The older they get, the longer it takes, so do it soon. We let her cry, and she cried for 30 min. I cried too, but she fell asleep. In the middle of the night, she cried for about 5 seconds, and she went right back to sleep! Next night, cried for about 30 seconds, went to sleep. And forever after that, no more crying. Next daughter, same thing, but at 5 months old. She also cried for about 30 min (my brave husband did it this time while I was at work!) Then she never cried again. Ever since, they slept all through the night and we have gotten a great sleep too, which is the most important thing, since it's hard to be a good mom when you're exhausted! Good luck! (Oh, P.S. We never went in at intervals to "pat on back" because I've heard that would make them cry harder, so we didn't do that.)

We didn't try the Ferberizing method as I couldn't handle the crying that came with it - I realized that when I was still pregnant. Luckily for me, one of my clients (God bless her!) sent me two books she had loved: The Contented Baby by Gina Ford and The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. The Gina Ford book helped us to get our guy on a routine right from the start and he THRIVED on it - her pumping schedule helped so much!

For sleep, however, Tracy's methods were a Godsend! She's passed on, unfortunately, but there is a great website (wo)manned by moms with lots of experience with sleep issues for all ages! You should be able to get Tracy's book on half.com or at your local bookstore (B+N, Borders, etc) if you want it immediately. She has another book called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, but I think her first book would help you with teaching your son to fall back to sleep on his own in more detail.

This is a perfect time to help him learn these skills! Hang in there - its going to take a little time, but you both will get there :) Good luck!

ps
sorry this wasn't about Ferberizing and please ignore if you've already read some of Tracy's work and rejected her methods.

We used this method with both of our children, with good success at around the same age as your son (5 1/2 to 6 months). There is no question that it was hard. However, within a week, max, for both kids, they had stopped crying and were falling asleep on their own. When we did this, we modified it somewhat, so that the time intervals were shorter. I cannot recall exactly what Ferber recommended (it's been over four years since we did this with my youngest), but I'm remembering that we did something along the lines of three minutes for the first interval between leaving the room and going back in to reassure, then lengthened it each time by a minute or so, until the crying stopped.

Again, I don't want to make this sound easy-I think for both kids, the crying on the first night might have gone on for close to or a bit over an hour. We were determined, though, because we were so sleep deprived, and by the end of the week, as I said, we were past the crying. If you decide to do this, the most important thing, besides planning in advance exactly how you want to approach it with time intervals, etc., is to be consistent and to follow through. If you do that, and you are prepared to tolerate the tears, you will have a full night's sleep waiting for you on the other side of this! Once we finished this, my kids were, and continue to be, great sleepers. To this day they are able to put themselves to sleep without any problem and consistently sleep through the night.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

We used this method with our daughter and found it to be the best thing we ever did for her and for us. She was a nursing baby that never once took a bottle and so she learned that she could only sleep if I was nursing her and after a while that was killing me. I had had enough of waking up every time she move to nurse her back to sleep cause I was turning into a zombie. I was not about to let her "cry it out" because just the sound of her crying for a little while would have killed me. And with the Ferber method she did cry initially but the scheduled times to go back in and comfort her helped both her and I. By the second night already she was much better only waking once and falling asleep within 7 minutes instead of the 15min to an hour of crying the other way. And before that my daughter never once napped in her crib it was always at the breast and then a swift move into an already swinging swing or she would wake screaming. After the first night of ferber I thought I would try a nap the same way and like magic she was ready to nap in bed and has napped in bed every nap since. The method works like magic and I would 100% recomend it to any family. I am probably the worlds most clingy mommy probably to a fault and it worked for us. It was not easy to hear her cry but it was not at all as bad as I thought it was going to be reading about the "cry it out" method on the web. Try it and I guarentee you'll be happy as I am with it. Good luck. :-)

We just did it for our 18 month. She hadn't sleep though the night ever. Even naps were awful. She has slept though the night for the last 10 days!!!!!! Naps are great too. GREAT BOOK! We should have done it sooner.

i used the cio method with my daughter (but i didnt read the ferberizing book). i started when she was about 5 months i think too. what i did was made a strict bedtime routine. we would have 1 hour of quiet time with just mommy daddy and baby . we would get our jammies on and i would hold her till she got drowsy and i would lightly pat her chest as she drank her bottle. sometimes she would fall asleep when put in bed and sometimes she would be awake. at about 7 months she would scream for 5-60 mins when put in bed. i would go in every 30 mins to calm her and put her back but i never brought her out of the room. at like 9 months i think is when we introduced her to her lovey (a piggy) now she has 3 lovies she keeps in her bed and thats fine with me. now she puts herself to sleep (patting her chest) and shes 21 months old. i know like you a lot of moms are against this method. but i choose to raise a semi independant child and it worked for me. just take it slowly its a new thing for you both if your calm about it your baby will be too. good luck!

I haven't had experience 'ferberizing'... but i just bought an inexpensive e-book called at the 'www.sleeplady.com called Good Night Sleep tight... i thought it was a nice approach -- have started it with my 3 month old -- also good advice for each stage of development. She refers to Ferberizing and i think that the approach is similar but more 'gentle', on both parent and child i think -- as it's a step by step process. It's inexpensive, only 9.95 ... if the ferber method doesn't work for you, take a look. I just posted last week with my baby and some nap problems -- much better this week! Good Luck!

I don't know anything about ferberizing. What is it?
signed intrested grandma

I had a really good experience with the cry-it-out method. It depends on the baby. My daughter didn't put up much of a fight. In the beginning, she cried for an hour, but it wasn't crying as hard as you can, it was intermitent and therefore easier to deal with. It still upset me so have your hubby handy for much needed support! If you have one of those babies that makes themselves sick freaking out, it might not be the best method for you. I think babies mostly aren't willing to put up that much of a fight, they cry, then give up. Just give it a few days and you will be amazed. We started the Ferber Method at about six months (I think) and it worked right away. The Ferber Method is great because of the part where you go in every ten minutes and rub their back, they know you aren't deserting them. In the following months, she would fall back into crying it out again a little bit, but now she is 13 months and she has been putting herslef to sleep for a long time. I hold her and give her a bottle and put her to sleep wide awake when she's finished. She doesn't ever let out a peep now, she just rolls over and falls asleep on her own. It will be the best thing you ever did, I promise! Good luck!!

A. - I had a great experience. We started when my son was a few days shy of 5 months. He cried a total of 30 minutes the first night, and a few minutes the next night. As a bonus, he never woke up for a nighttime feeding again! It seems his night-time awakenings were not so much because he was hungry; I think he was just crying because he was confused when he woke up in the middle of the night.

I was nervous about letting my baby "cry it out" - but if you really read the book (as you have), Ferber does have you check on them every few minutes, etc. That made me feel better. good luck!

I had to look up the term "ferberizing", and when I did, I realized that is the method I was taught to use to teach my then infant daughter to sleep on her own. I started earlier than 4 months, and it worked much easier than I thought. In the evening, I would bathe her with a warm bath, lotion her, and then feed her. Before she fell all the way asleep, I would lay her in the crib, and pat her gently, and then walk away. Even at two years old, I would do a modified version (now with a story), and let her sleep by herself. They do cry a little, but its worth it to give them that independence. babies can feel your anxiety, so try not to be too stressed when you start, and just be consistent. You guys are doing a great job! :)

I'm sorry, but I would never use that method. Seems cruel. Even Dr. Ferber retracted some of the things he wrote in that book because parents were not doing right. There are better ways to get babies to sleep. That method is just to far on the extreme end for me.

Check out:
www.sleeplady.com She's got a great technique and doesn't call for a lot of crying and ignoring the baby.

www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

Do not worry! Your child will still want to cuddle and be sensitive! We tried everything and anything with our daughter. I cried too! But, it got to the point that no one was happy due to lack of sleep. The doctor said it was okay to let her cry so that made me feel better. The only thing that worked for us what just letting her cry it out. Now she sleeps from 7 until 6. And she is a very happy baby! Good luck!!

When my daugther was 6 months old we felt the same way, it was time to teach her to fall asleep alone. We also decided to use the Ferber method. However, when it came to implement it, we found we had to make some adjustments. The book recommends to let you child "cry it out" and come back in increments (usualy starting at 5 mins. and increasing from there) to reassure your child. My daughter only got more and more irate every time I came back to try to console her. I found that what worked best for us was to put her down and give her a small book (baby safe) and she eventually started looking through her book and then laid herself down to sleep. This came after over 1 week of crying. At first she cried for 1.5 hours. It was hard, but we held strong. Little by little it got down to about 20-30 mins. Weeks after she still would cry for about 20-30 mins. My understanding is some children just need that to "un-wind", and if we came and checked up on her she would have to start all over again the entire process. To make a long story short, you will have to gage what works best for your child and be flexible on your plan of action. While it is important to be flexible, don't give up, it really does work and like I said, I found that that little bit of blowing off steam is what my daughter needed to fall alseep. With all this said, she is now 2 and has always had the bad habit of waking up anywhere from 2-5 times throughout the night, even though she falls alseep on her own. All children are different and you cannot expect them to give you the exact results a book tells you they should have. Good luck, stay strong and keep the faith!

A. - When I was ready and with my husband total support we used this method. Consistancy is the key. It worked well and I would do it again but start it earlier rather than wait until I surpassed exhaustion!

Good luck!

All the best! We have had a similar experience with the tempermant of our baby.
I am right now listening to my 6mos boy struggle with a nap. We have been using the method for three nights and each night gets better and better. HOWEVER, naps are torture! Sometimes he passes out quickly and sometimes cries the whole time. I am doing my best to stay consistant because I know how important sleep is for him, and our whole family. We hate to hear him cry, but his sleep has been so bad the past few weeks we had to try it. I rocked, sung, cuddled, lie down, and nursed him. Nothing worked anymore AND he cried for every nap and several times a night. This seems to be working thank goodness. He sure is proud of himself, happy and well rested in the mornings! But these naps- ugh!
Just know I'm there with you- we are not alone!
J.

I "ferberized" both of my children. My son at 8 months and my daughter just slightly later at about 10 months. We are completely satisfied and my children are wonderful sleepers. It is very heart wrenching the first night. I sat outside my baby's door and cried along with him. The first night he cried for about 30 minutes, the second night for about 15 minutes and the third night, hardly at all. Same goes for my daughter. Sometimes, they'll have little set backs if they get sick or if the routine is broken for some reason (travel, holidays etc) and I am always right by their side if they need me in the middle of the night but it doesn't last long and they get right back to schedule. My son is 10 and still likes to listen to a sound machine and music at night, so I let him. My daughter (3 years) likes to read herself to sleep and that works too. Just as long as they aren't requiring my constant presence to fall asleep, I'm very lenient as to what they use to soothe themselves.

Hi A.,My hubby and I used a "modified" Ferber method for our son who is now 4 1/2 (and still a great sleeper!) He was 13 weeks old when we started it on a Friday evening at 7pm. He cried for about 45 minutes, and then slept 12 hours straight. Saturday night, cried for 25 minutes, then 12 hours of straight sleep and finally on Sunday night, cried for 8 minutes and slept for 12 hours. In the big picture, him crying for 90 minutes of life to gain being able to sooth himself to sleep was the best thing we could have done for him. I say modified, since I believe the Ferber method says to go in at the designated intervals (which we did) and pat baby's back, etc. Instead of touching, we used soothing words instead. At the time, I was in a mommy & me class in Santa Monica where the facilitator was a sleep specialist and this is the method she uses. I think she has a web-site and book now. Her name is Jill Spivak and her company is "Sleepy Planet". I would only endorse if her if I knew the method worked, and for us it absolutely worked (9 of the 10 mommies in the group used the modified Ferber method at various times and it worked for them as well) My daughter is 8 months old, but she figured it out all on her own - no crying or anything!Good luck and just remember that sleep is the best thing for your baby and starting a good foundation now will eliminate many challenges down the road!

My firstborn daughter was never a good sleeper, and at first, I was totally opposed to the concept of letting her cry. So... first I read Sears. Several of his books, in fact. I tried everything he suggested diligently, and months later we were worse off than ever.

I then read Ferber, and after most of a year of sleep deprivation, tried it. It was tricky, sticking to a schedule when we were already exhausted. Sorta worked, but not quickly. Went on vacation and couldn't seem to start the process from the beginning again.

Then I read Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - only because I wanted to re-read Ferber and it was out of the library and my local bookstore only had Weissbluth.

He calls Ferber's method "graduated extinction" and recommends using "extinction" instead. Let them cry until they sleep. I know it sounds harsh, but he explains why it's easier on the kid and the parents. It works much faster, doesn't require any schedules, and is less confusing for all parties. And if you backslide after an illness or vacation, it's much easier to re-apply.

Don't take my word for it, though. Read the book instead. One of my biggest problems was that I wasn't convinced I was doing what was in my child's best interests. Weissbluth explains how and why your child needs consistent, unbroken sleep. He convinced me that my dithering was causing problems. I needed to learn *why* I was doing it as much as I needed to learn how best to do it. He also breaks things down by ages, which is a big help.