Need Advice on Sharing a Birthday

Updated on May 30, 2008
A.S. asks from San Antonio, TX
62 answers

I had my first son last year on 7/14. I am expecting my second son this year and my scheduled c-section is for the same week. My doctor said she would be willing to schedule it on the 14th or any other day that week.

I think it would be neat for the boys to share a birthday and be exactly one year apart. However, I am wondering if they will hate it when they grow up. As much as I would love for them to share their birthdays I also think they should have their own special day.

I don't know what to do. Does anyone know of someone who was in a similiar situation? Does anyone know of adult siblings who share a birthday and either love or hate it?

Thanks in advance!

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C.G.

answers from San Antonio on

That would be such a great opportunity !!! Take it!! Take it!! Besides their birthday is not the only thing that makes them who they are, many things in life will make them different from one another. But what a wonderful similarity! I always loved the fact that my mom and her mom (my grandmother) had the same birthday. Although Grammy probably didn't like it so much on that particular day. *Snicker, snicker*

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S.O.

answers from Austin on

Growing up, my best friend and her sister shared a birthday. They were born on the same day exactly 1 year apart. In elementary school, they loved it. They thought it was the coolest thing. Once they reached Jr. High, it wasn't so cool anymore. The story changed again once they both reached High School. In High school they had the biggest parties because each one invited all their friends.

My mother and her sister (my aunt) were born 2 years and 1 day apart from each other. My aunt is older. She once told me that she always viewed the friendship that she and my mom had as the best birthday present in the world. They both wish that their birthday was on the same day.

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G.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi A., My sister's bday is 5/12 35yrs old and mine is 5/13 36 yrs old we are 364 days apart. I love my sis very much but I hated sharing that day w/her. I think each child should have there own special day for them to be king/queen. I also know it is hard to have 2 children in 1 month no matter how many years apart, I have 2 girls now 7/27(9yrs old)& 7/18(3yrs)and even w/the age difference its hard . Just remember they need there own special day of celebration. Hope this helps

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N.H.

answers from Houston on

If I had two kids, not twins, that shared the same b-day, I think it'd be better, especially if I had a choice in the matter. For one, neither kid would be jealous of the other when presents were given to the b-day kid, they would BOTH get something, also, it'd make shopping a bit easier only having to remember one date. Personally, I'm a strong believer in giving EACH child something for the birthday. For instance, child A has a b-day & therefore gets cake & presents which may make child B feel somewhat left out & vice-versa. Remember, kids have feelings too that we may forget that we may've felt at that age & just because you explain it to them that this is child A's b-day & it's "their special day" & that they (child B) will have a special day soon too, they may not really comprehend that. Well, my aunt came up w/an idea that stuck w/me all these yrs. Although it was my sibling's b-day, I still got a small gift...just some little something to make me feel not left out & I truly appreciated that, especially since I had to wait for what seemed like forever for my b-day...our b-days were at opposite ends of the year so I had to wait for what seemed like a long time for mine even though it really wasn't but at the time, it did seem that way. I think each child should be given SOMEthing regardless of whose b-day it is. Even if it's just a 'nothing' gift compared to the birthday child's gift, it still makes the other child feel satisfied that they got something too because they may not fully understand why the other child is getting something special & they're not.

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K.C.

answers from Brownsville on

Give them their own special day and make it special for each one of them--do not ask them to share. that works in movies and fairy tales. I have watched my nieces grow up with this situation and it did not work and today they have found themselves in a competition which has proved to be unhealthy as adults.

God has given you 2 unique humans--

Blessings--K.

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

My husband and his brother are in the same boat...Mother in law had C-section and scheduled it on the same day. My husband never felt jilted...makes him feel closer to older brother. It is also easier on the parents (my hubby's words).

Note (not birthday related) the boys were always in competition with each other and still are. My husband is a competetive person who always wanted to do what big brother was doing and got potty trained and learned to read a full year early to keep up with brother. It finally got to the point where my husband had to quit soccer and play baseball because they got too competetive. Just some heads-up for the future!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I can only speak for my experience. My kids are 8 years and 2 weeks apart. My 9 year old daughter is thrilled to share her birthday with her 1 year old brother. We've already started planning the next one.

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K.H.

answers from Killeen on

Everyone needs to learn to share...but..I went to school with a girl who had a brother 10 months older than her, but for 2 months every year they were the same age. They loved it, maybe you can plan it for a few days before the 14th and they will be the same age, if only for a couple days, it will be something very rare that only they share, and they alone will probably be the only two like it.
Might not seem much when they are in single digit years, but when they are both 13 at the same time even for a couple of days they will have a great time with it, with their friends. Good luck and God Bless

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi.there A. that would be cool,my son and my cousin has the same b-day and we have always done them together and they have a blast we get every body together all at once and just have one big party i think they would do fine with that.but that how ever you and your husband feel about that.hope every thing goes well with your new baby take care talk it over with your hubby see what he thinks about it.

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S.V.

answers from Houston on

I think two kids sharing a birthday is not a good idea. Their "Birth" day is a special day to celebrate them, a time to pay special attention to one and only one child at a time. The boys' will feel ripped off, for lack of better words, later on when they grow up. Each needs to feel like they're the centre of attention if only for a day.
Do them a favor, separate their birthdays if only by a day.

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S.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't share a birthday but nine is on January 2nd and I always got cheated out of presents! Everyone is broke from Christmas and so they save one of my Christmas presents for my birthday. Friends even admit that they don't know which one is for Christmas and which is for birthday and suggest that I choose! And my birthday presents are almost always wrapped in Christmas paper! People forget to call, because they haven't turned the calender yet! Basically it really has sucked! My dad has his birthday on Christmas eve and he has the same problems that I do! I know That wasn't your exact question, but my point is ... everyone wants their special recognition on their special day! So I think you should if you can separate their birthdays. It's ok to have their party on the same day as long as you give a special recognition to each child on their individual days! Best of luck to you and your children , and hope all goes well on the day of delivery!

R.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi A.. My sister-in-law's mother shares a birthday with her older sister and they both hate it. They're in their sixties now so are obviously better at dealing with it but they were incredibly jealous of each other as little girls. Especially since the older one didn't get to celebrate her 1st birthday as her mom was in the hospital having her sister. (she always rubbed it in her face) On the other hand, I have a friend who shares a birthday with her baby daughter and feels its very special but has "moved" her birthday to the middle of the year so she doesn't take attention away from her daughter. So, I would say have your babies birthdays as far apart as possible! I hope this helps. Good luck with your kiddos!

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M.H.

answers from Houston on

My husband and his brother share the same birthday. There is 10 years difference in their ages. They are 86 and 76 now. They have been enjoying this for as long as I have known them both. They live in different states, but do get together when they can on their birthdays. They claim to be twins with 10 years difference in their ages. When children are as young as yours will be, you feel badly about giving one a gift on his birthday, so you go ahead and buy the other a gift. So why not have them on the same day and the gift problems is solved. When they get older and want something different on their birthdays, there are lots of things that could be incorporated into them. Perhaps one year the Dad could take one of them and the Mom could take the other. Or give them a choice of one having a party one weekend and the other the next weekend. My family loves the idea of sharing a birthday.

Hope this helps you some

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T.H.

answers from College Station on

I think that as much as it would be really neat and cool rate now for the individual children to have the same day, as you have already stated when the children get older, they are going to apprciate more having their own individual day, even more! Even twins, (I have a twin brother and sister), really enjoy their individual indentities! You have the control now as to what day, take advantage and give each child their day!

Twice the fun in celebration!

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J.J.

answers from Austin on

I share my birthday with my grandma, a good friend of mine, and a couple of friends in school. I HATE IT!!! i wish i could have been born on a day where none of the people i know share it. Please consider a different day. Kids and adults want to be special on a special day.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Please do not share a birthday. Another thing is at Christmas do not give the same gift to both children. My husband said his parents did that and it just ruided his Christmas, because he had no surprises, because when his brother opened his gift, he knew that is what he had. Children need that surprise gift. Also, you do not have to give them everything on their list, but most important get them something also not on the list that you think they may really like. That is a true surprise. Even Santa Claus gifts, if it is not in our buget we do not buy it.

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

I was born the night before my brothers 3rd birthday. We never minded but we had are own friend party and combined family party. If they have the same friends they could always choose to combine, if they are at least a day apart and have them separate if not. Congrats and good luck!

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A.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I think it would be fabulous for them to have the same birthday! They are so close in age, and that alone will make them wonderful companions and friends (at least when they are little) My oldest 2 are 11 month apart and love to share a party in between. They have always kind of thought they should be twins! You can still individualize birthday celebrations. 2 smaller cakes if they want when they are a little older or different party hats, different presents, pinatas, etc...People these days tend to have way too much of a "me" attitude, (it's all about me) we need to help our children learn to share and especially cherish family! Definitely go for it! Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

Definatly do two different birthdays. Ever watch Jon and Kate plus eight. They have twin girls about 8yrs old or so and six 3 year olds. She has to make two cakes and try to make each girl seem like its her special day. My son was a scheduled natural birth. My birthday is Jan 18 and we scheduled his birth for Jan 14. I want my day to be special just as much as I want his day to be special. Do what you want the decision is ultmantly yours. But think about how weird it would be to have bob the builder with spider man? Let them be indivduals. Good luck hope what ever you choose is right for your kids.

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

Well... I think it would be fun for you to plan it in the same week and occasionally make it a shared celebrations (maybe more so when they are little and really won't care at all) but plan to have some separate ones when the get older and want their own parties...remember...twins and other multiples already have this very same problem and them rarely get their own special day until they are much older...

on another note...when I was in school..a good friend of mine hated her birthday...not only did she have to share it every year with her twin sister...but their 4 year younger sister was born on the same day as well!!! As adults..they love it...

Good luck!!!

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi A.! :)

I went through the same quandry with my daughter, who's due date was very close to my son's 3rd birthday. We'd decided on a repeat c-section so I had the choice of making their birthdays on the same day. I put a lot of thought into it and even put a voting poll in the internet to get people's opinions on it. The majority of people who voted said that since she was a girl that it would be cool to make it the same day, but if they'd been the same sex (2 boys), then it might cause some competition/jealousy issues over toys, identity etc. and that boys were more competitive in general which MIGHT potentially cause some problems.
Anyway, I wound up taking the majority's advice and set her c-section date to my son's birthday.
It worked out really well. We had my son's birthday a couple day's early that year. Now my son is almost 5 and my daughter is almost 2 and we're having their first joint birthday this year. (Last year we had my daughter's in the morning and my son's in the afternoon) My daughter is still new to the whole birthday thing but Hayden says he can't remember his birthday without her. He's excited about their HUGE birthday party in a couple months. :)
Best of Wishes,
M.

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L.H.

answers from Houston on

I think you should do it on the same day. I think they will appreciate it. It will be one day of the year that they will celebrate with each other. It'll be their day for life. I say this because I have a co-worker from 1993 that we shared birthdays. Now, I didn't even like the old man at first. But, after 2-3 yrs I fell in love with him. We used to have lunch for our birthday for about 10 years and we still call each other on our birthdays. It created a bond. I can't imagine that bond with brothers 30 years from now. I think it would be a gift to them. Birthday parties are expensive as they grow up. I know because I'm helping my son & I'm in SSD. You can't expect family/friends to come one weekend for one party & the next for another party either. They'll get tired of that within a few years. Make it easier on you & your family to just do it on the same day. The boys may resent it for a few years in their puberty (and I doubt that even) but as adults - they'll love it. It's YOUR decision. I say make at least 15 years of birthday parties easier on you. One mess & less expense.

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L.S.

answers from Sherman on

I have two sisters and our birthdays are all within 10 days of each other. Mine is August 9, older sister is August 10, younger sister is August 10. I've never had a problem sharing a birthday week with them because it's a week of parties but I would hate it if I shared the same birthday. While in elementary school, we usually had combined birthay parties and that never bothered me. However, a birth'day' is the one day of the year your child is the only one being celebrated and getting gifts and attention. It may be cool for you to be able to reflect and enjoy that one day but I can assure you that while growing up, they'll resent it. Just my two cents.

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

My husband, son (28) and daughter (23) all have the same birthday. Another daughter and son are 1 day apart (5 days after the first 3 I mentioned. So within 5 days, we have 5 birthdays. They have always loved it and taken pride in celebrating together. It is awesome, never a problem. Go for it, it will be so much fun over the years.

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T.M.

answers from Odessa on

My two boys birthdays are 13 days apart, just short of being exactly two years apart. When they were little it didn't matter, but now that they are a little older (7&9) they want their own party. Last year we worked it out and they shared their party, but we took each one out on a special day just he, his dad and I. This seemed to make everyone happy. Good luck with your decision.

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H.J.

answers from Houston on

Make it a different day. While it would be special to you for them to share a birthday, not so much to them growing up. They're going to work hard enough to differentiate themselves from each other, give them each their OWN day.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hello A.-

My brother and I share the same birthday (2/20). He was born on my 2nd birthday. Growing up I don't remember it ever being a problem. When we were young we would have a birthday party together with each of our friends and once we got older we would have separate parties. I always thought it was kind of neat when I would tell people that we had the same birthday they would all be surprised and it made us kind of special in a way.

Here's the thing, if they have birthdays in the same week inevitably they will run together somewhat. At least if they are actually the same day, that gives them something extra special that they share!

By the way, I also have a cousin whose birthday is the same as my brother and I, and our mom's birthday is the day before ours. Growing up we always celebrated my mom's birthday right along with my brother's and mine.

Good Luck,
K.

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P.S.

answers from Austin on

Hi! This is a tough one. I was born on my Father's birthday and while it's one of the most precious things I hold in my heart it has also caused some grief. I am now 41 and have spent all but 2 birthdays with him (due to travel; hospitalization) all of the celebrations together were very special, but I felt guilt/grief over not being with him on the 2 I missed. I am married and we have never celebrated my birthday with just us because of sharing it with my Father. Siblings may be different than the father/daughter relationship, but for me I would feel and do the same as a sibiling. Anyway, whatever you decide will work out fine and you can make their day together whatever you choose so as they become adults they structure it in their own way. Btw, July 14 is a fabulous day - my husband has birthday. Good luck with the upcoming birth! P.

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Separate! Maybe you could schedule it a few days before the older child's birthday so that they could share a few days when "We're both the same age!" rather than a birthday. My husband had to deal with this growing up, and although it's fun for Mom to say they share a birthday and people say "How cute!", it's h*** o* the kiddos not to have one day a year that's truly theirs. Hope this helps! I have 5 kids and the "baby" is now 8, you are so lucky to be expecting! I love these days but I soo miss the "baby days'! Have fun!

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H.P.

answers from Corpus Christi on

You know that's going to cause all kinds of hate and discontent. They're each going to feel cheated and resent each other and you for it. Best bet, don't be selfish and make them on different days.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

A.
Different days! My brother and I are 2 years and 12 hours apart from each other. We are 30 something and my parents still celebrate our birthdays together! I don't think it was so much of an issue when we were little, but I had to celebrate my sweet 16 (with a 14 year old little brother and his friends), my 18th, my 21st, my 30th. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but it would have been nice to have a few of these special days to myself. Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but it's the truth and I know my brother feels the same way as I do. We are each an individual and everybody deserves at least one day a year to celebrate their life. Just my thoughts on it.

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L.P.

answers from Houston on

I was just talking to an adult guy friend a couple of days ago who is a twin and he said that he always hated sharing his birthday. Of coarse, his parents didn't have a choice. I think your baby boys should have their own special days. Just my opinion. ;)

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K.D.

answers from Houston on

My sister and I have the same birthday. While I sometims hated sharing a party, I always thought it was neat. I think the party issue will come up anyway with their birthdays so close. As we got older, my sweet mom also would let us each have our own party. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Well I'm adult now and I remember my parents doing that with my older sister and me, when we were little to save money. Honestly it didn't matter while we were little but if my parents had continued to do it I think it would of bother me a lot because were so different from each other and these days we put together birthday based on what the kids are into. My sister wants to do something similar with her daughter and mine during their sweet sixtenth, I don't think my daughter wants to share her B-day with a cousin and all her friends.

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J.R.

answers from Houston on

My mom and her sister shared a birthday 1 year apart. Sometimes it sounded like they enjoyed it but other times I think they would have liked their own day. Personally I think I would give each child their own day. They will likely be mistaken for twins later in life anyway.

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J.M.

answers from College Station on

I have 2 daughters now in their 20's and their birthdays were 7 days and 2 years apart, and to this day they complain about their birthdays being to close together and they did not like to have their parties together because most people bought them something to share instead of 2 different gifts. You might want to keep that in mind for when they get older (pre-teen) Good Luck!

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N.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I wouldn't chose for them to have the same birthday. We all want that one day that is just ours. That feeling never goes away. A birthday is special to each of us. You can always do combined parties for them if you want since their b-days will be close together, but leave the option open. My kids b-days are exactly a month apart. When they get older, they can each have their own party with just their friends. Also, you can teach each child that we honor each other for birthdays. I don't mind giving party favors to other kids on my kids' b-days, but I do not give the sibling a gift just so they won't be left out. That is not the point. Their special day with come too. I would have the c-section scheduled a week earlier if possible (if it's not too soon for the baby) or do it a few days before or after the other child's.

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M.H.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I was in the exact same situation, and after talking to many people, decided to ask my ob to schedule my C-section as early as she could,so that my children would have as much distance between their birthdays as possible. Their birthdays are 8 days apart, and I don't regret it one bit. I too thought it would be neat for them to share a birthday, but am so glad 9 years later that they don't.

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E.W.

answers from Odessa on

I say schedule the c section before or after your son's birthday. My older brother and I have birthdays three years and one week apart in October, I remember my mom trying to blend our birthday parties together on more than one occasion and I hated it! But I'm a girl...maybe boys wouldn't care as much. Anyways, if they have their birthdays on seperate days, you have the option to have joint parties or seperate ones. Then they can decide when they get older.

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D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

I have 2 sons with birthdays 1 week apart, we tried to combine them but that is not a good idea, they hated it. A child's birthday is only one day a year and it should be their special day only not to be shared. It is difficult but is worth it in the long run. I have six kids with birthdays in July and August so it is hectic to say the least, but they all need to feel special.
Hope it works out.
Blessings,
D.

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M.L.

answers from San Antonio on

I had a friend that this happened too as well.It is your choice no matter what. My friend loved it because it saved money when they wee little,now as they get older the have different interested in things.They are 15 mo apart and are close.And like any child they want their own world and want to be treated they way they want and not to share things.

I say do it and just remember as they are older to give them their own space and do things different for each one.Throw the party or whatever together they can share the day to make it easy on everyone,and just remind everyone of their interests and get for them their own gift.

At certain points my freind loves it because of time it has worked to her benefit as well as the to kiddos to girls.

I have two different ages and gender and if they were close like that I would have them share things like this but get them their own things.With anybody there is only so much you can share before you go crazy.

Good Luck with your choice

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M.H.

answers from Houston on

I say go for it!!! I was born on my Dads B-day. He always said I was the best present he ever got!!! (except for when I was unruly and he desperately tried to find the "receipt":) Oh, what a neat thing to share with your sibling your whole life!!

Margaret :)

Congrats, by the way!!!

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T.S.

answers from Austin on

Hi A.,

I had a similaar situation with my two older daughters. My oldest was born 3/4 via c-section and since we knew the 2nd would be c-section as well we had the choice between doing it on the same day or not. I finally chose to do it on a different day because I wanted them to have their own special day. I also had blood pressure issues that were becoming more severe, so my doctor was anxious to deliver. My girls are 8 days shy of a year apart...one born 2/24 and the other 3/4. They have chosen to share bithday parties up until now, but it's getting harder. They are now 5 and 6 and with starting school they have their own group of friends and large parties get expensive! In addition to their joint party we make sure the actual bithday is a special day for each girl. We let them make the plans for the day (where to eat, what to do, and let them do a little shopping), so they feel like they have their own recognition.

I really think you'll be fine either. As parents we're masters at adjusting as we figure out our children. Your kiddos might think it's cool to share a birthday (at this age mine have said it would be fun) and you'll find some way to make each one feel special.

Hope this helps!

T.

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A.K.

answers from Houston on

Don't do it. Pick another day. It may be neat to you but it won't be to them. Mothers get all sorts of special days like Mothers day, Birthday, Anniversaries, etc... but kids only get one day of the year the be THEIR special day. My children's birthdays are 10 days apart and while my second is fixing to have her first birthday, we will celebrate them completely separate and never have a combined party. Hope this helps. Congrats on your new baby!

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S.G.

answers from San Antonio on

My father and grandfather have their birthday only 1 day apart and my Dad always feels overshadowed or made to do something for his father's birthday at the detriment to his own. I would say that if you have the choice try and schedule them a few days apart so they can be their own people.

S.
p.s My son's birthday is also 7/14 but was born in 2006!

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D.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I say go for it. They are already going to share b-days regardless if it is on the exact same day. My Dad and I are one day apart. We always tell my mom "if she would have just waited one more day then we could have shared a b-day. I think later in life they will say "mom, I can't believe you had the chance to make our b-day on the same day and you didn't do it. Ofcourse every kid likes to have there own day but it's also cool to have it on the same day.

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C.C.

answers from El Paso on

Each child should have their own special day and not feel like they have to share it. It's like having a birthday on Christmas Day - it's just not the same! It's nice that you have a choice.

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T.S.

answers from Houston on

My situation was a triple whammy, but I'll share it anyway. My birthday is Christmas day and my older sister was born 1 year and 8 days before me, and our younger sister was born 10 days before Christmas but several years later (our lucky brother got the June Birthday). So, needless to say we never got our own birthdays and they were often overshadowed by Christmas. It wasn't until I met my husband that I got my own birthday, when his family decided that my birthday should be celebrated in September, even though they still go the extra mile on Christmas day and wrap a few presents in birthday paper and give them to me as birthday gifts (my family has never even done this). Incidentally, our son was born on November 23, so occasionally his birthday falls on Thanksgiving and will always fall right around it. I am very adament that he get to celebrate it separate from The holiday.
All of that being said, I think it is very important that your children are allowed to grow up with separate birthdays and parties. However, the first few years aren't that big of a deal because they won't remember anyways. Due to the fact that they are going to be so close in age anyways, they are going to be expected to share everything, so it would be a nice gesture to give them separate birthdays so that day can be their day.

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K.W.

answers from Longview on

I have the same birthday as my little brother and I hate it. If I ever got put in that situation to possibly give birth to my second child on the same day as my first, I would have to pass. I would do them as far apart as possible. Birthday planning would be hard if they didn't agree to the same type of theme. The only thing you could really do would be to go skating or swimming or something like that. You wouldn't be able to have what they want on their special day. I will be 22 next week and I still don't get too excited just because I know it's not just what I want to go do. We always go out to eat and it is usually the same place every year just because we can never agree on a resturaunt. So my opinion is deffinently let them each have their own day.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

I know my sister and I are 5 years apart, but our b.day's are two days apart(May 18 & 20th). She always hated sharing her time, I loved it. I also think it was easy for my mom being a single mother to have one bash, once a year. It's about having to share that special day. It might not be that hard for them to do since there isn't that age difference.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I think they'd rather have a different date. If they were twins that's another story...my sister's girls were born 7 days apart. Although they share parties, the actual birth date is celebrated with family on that child's birthday and it's special to them.

Now, if you don't plan on doing birthdays (some don't celebrate) then it wouldn't matter. But I'm guessing in your family you DO celebrate.

My girls are born close together Jan 23 Feb 22 March 30 MAy 3 (and then my sister's girls are both in A..) So doing a combination party works wonderfully for us. Still, they like having a day just for them.

S., mom to Faith age 5 Hope age 4 Grace age 3 and Joy age 13 months

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D.N.

answers from Houston on

My friend was in the same situation about twnety years ago and she has always regretted not making the birthdays the same. They are just too close for the girls to feel they have their own birthday anyway (and my friend's birthday was a day away as well!) She wishes she had had the girls on her birthday and they had all shared their one special day over the years instead of dealing with birthdays and parties only a day apart, or a couple of days apart. No-one felt special, they always felt it was just another one in the same week. Hope this helps.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

A.,
I think it's all in how you handle it. Today is my brother's and my birthday as well. We're adults and our birthdays are exactly 7 years apart. We always had our parties together and it worked great. We went through a stage when we were younger where we counted presents to make sure we had the same amount but it didn't last long. My mom always did a good job of making us both feel special. I think as long as you make both of them feel special and make sure not to focus to much on one and not the other that everything will be fine. I'm 32 today and my brother is 39 and we're very close and love each other very much. Good luck in deciding and it will all work out for the best.

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Don't have the babies on the same day, unless necessary. That way you can make a big deal at breakfast about this being THEIR DAY...I have kids born on Oct. 2 and Oct 7, 2 years apart... when the kids were little they didn't mind having only one birthday party... we did miniture golf, swimming, skating parties and of course the home parties... you just have to remember to invite the same number of friends for each kid...and when they got older... we would have the family party/dinner and the kids would then go out and have fun with their friends at the movies or doing whatever teens do... they are now 25 and 27 years old and still go out together to celebrate...

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D.T.

answers from Houston on

this is just me, but my sister and i are a day apart even though we are 6 years different in age. We had to "share" a birthday cake b/c of money and my mom worked full time and didn't have time to bake two cakes. There were times that i didn't want to share my day with anyone. My concern is that b/c they aren't twins, there could be hurt feelings down the road. I would rather the two boys have their own day - created just for them as two very special boys that they will be.

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S.G.

answers from Houston on

If you have the choice, I think you should give them their own special day.
I have an older brother and younger sister born on the same day (not c-section BTW). They are 11 years apart. My mother would bake a cake for my older brother and cupcakes for my younger sister. She would set the cupcakes to outline her age. Everyone thought this was really cool, except my sister who was so sweet, she never said a thing as she grew up. Then, when my brother was finally married and no longer there exactly on his birthday, she finally got her first cake. That was the eye opener when she expressed her shear delight in having a cake baked just for her. Now in her adult years, she has said enough for me to know that she always wanted her own special day.
I also have a sister born on Christmas Eve. My parents were actually sensitive to giving her that special day so we never opened any of our Christmas gifts early unless my sister said we could open one.
The fact is, parents may never know how hurt a child is when they don't really have that special day because not all children will speak out. As parents, we aren't perfect, and eventually we learn of our failings from our kids, kind of inevitable that we will do something wrong. But why start with the birth date?

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S.V.

answers from Houston on

I don't think it matters and I think if wonderful for everyone not to forget the other ones birthday. For example, my husband used to forget my birthday, our anniversary and his mother's birthday. Now that my second son was born on the same day of our anniversary and his mother's b-day, he doesn't forget anymore, except he still forgets my birthday!!! Which is on a totally different day. If you show them from the beginning how wonderful it is to have the same birthday with your sibling, then they will not think that is a bad idea. You always have to think of positive things, so bad things don't happen. I think is wonderful to have the same b-day with a sibling or a cousin or even a best friend. Just make it fun and happy for them every year and you will see everything will be fine. Good luck in your desicion and God bless. Big hug to you and your family. Chao!! S.

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A.N.

answers from Austin on

Either way, I am sure you'll celebrate most of their bdays together - I would keep them apart - just to respect their individuality. I would not want to share my birthday with a sibling - there are enough issues with siblings as it is. HOWEVER, you are their mother and even in utero we know a lot about our own babies. Do you sense that these two will be close or twin-like? If so maybe there is a reason why this is coming up - good luck - you'll know what to do I'm sure!
Alli

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B.D.

answers from Odessa on

A., I would advise giving your second son his own birthday. My neice & nephew are born on the same day, 11 years apart & they both hate it. (Now, 29 & 18) They never get to have their own birthday. I hope all turns out well for you!

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T.D.

answers from Beaumont on

my two boys birthdays are 5 days apart. Although it is soo much easier on us as parents to share the party i have noticed that some of the guest complain about haveing to buy two gifts. Which i think is moronic. They would have to if i gave them separate parties!

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J.J.

answers from Austin on

I think it would be wonderful to have it on the same day. If you have the birthdays just a day or two off one may be jealous if he has his birthday on a weekday when his parents have to work and the other has it on a weekend and gets a full day of attention. My best friend growing up was 2 years and 2 days younger than her older brother. They had this issue. The mom also usually only had 1 party for the two of them on the day in between because it was so hard to have multiple parties.

I think whatever you decide your kids will feel special as long as you make them feel special. Also, as your older one grows you can always tell him you wanted to give him the most special gift in the world on his birthday, his younger sibling.

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R.P.

answers from Houston on

hi,

i have six siblings. identical twin brothers (of course they share a b-day) two other brothers that are 1 year and 1 day apart and me and my sister are not even a year apart (358 days). i don't think it will bother your children to share a birthday but they are certainly going to be sharing a b-day party.

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