Help with Close Birthdays

Updated on June 09, 2009
J.C. asks from Billings, MT
33 answers

I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old son who were born 3 days apart. Last year we had 2 seperate birthday parties and it was hard to do. Our anniversary is also the same week...oh AND my birthday!! It's such a grueling week! I want to have a joint birthday
party for them but I want it to be about the both of them. Is it a good idea to do this if nothing but for my own sanity?? Please help!!

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S.W.

answers from Pocatello on

Hey J.. I have the same deal with 2 of my sons. Feb 9th and Feb 10th. 5 years apart. We always had their bday parties together until they got into the teen years, we had 2 cakes, one for each of them and we usually had their party at the beach, park or some kind of outdoor thing. (We lived in Hawaii for most of their growing up years.)

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M.L.

answers from Denver on

I have two boys that are going to be 8 & 10 this year. Their birthdays are 1 day apart. I have done one party letting them each invite their own friends but have their own little celebration. Each having their own cake, theme, table, games etc. I have also done two different days. Either way I have done it it is hard and a lot of work. Having it the same day you are only cleaning up once. They like it better when they have their own day. Good luck.

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K.R.

answers from Denver on

My brothers were born two years apart and shared parties their entire life. To this day, they still like to celebrate together and have many of the same friends. I think that this has only strengthened their bond over the years. Small children have no expectations, so you can establish the tradition. Happy celebrations to you all!

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T.W.

answers from Boise on

I have 2 boys whose birthdays are only 3 weeks apart. Honestly, until last year (they turned 9 today and 6 in three weeks) I had a party in between their birthdays and it worked wonderful. I just made sure everyone knew that we were celebrating 2 birthdays and please bring seperate items or something they could do together. We made a huge big deal out of the party and had two seperate cakes and sang the song twice. Everything else we only did once.

Last year and this, we have a small (like 2 friends) event/party close to thier bday and then a combined one where all the family and anyone who wants to come is invited. I even have only 1 cake now, because they are doing something special at the other party with their special friends. It's nice because you can take them someplace/do something special maybe even more expensive (?) when it's only a couple kids. The big party is pretty informal and about the price I would expect if I was going to throw a summer party anyways. Sorry for the book:) If you want more ideas or specifics I would be happy to give you more ideas:)

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We have 3 birthdays and an anniversary all within 4 weeks. We rotate birthday parties. This year the 1yo gets on, next year the next oldest, who would then be turning 4, and then the next one who would then be turning 8. It helps on the budget to have only one party. It helps with sanity, too. We do allow them something a little bigger with friends since they only get on every 3 years. We do something as a family every year, but we do them on separate weekends. We find it's much easier, and for the most part, the kids are excited that the others get a party. GL!

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B.H.

answers from Denver on

We have the same issue except that it is our first and third child, and they aren't both boys. Either way, we plan on alternating the party. You might be able to have a joint party, but alternate which child gets to choose the theme/location. We will be experimenting also! lol

For your birthday, you might think about celebrating your 1/2 birthday instead of your real one. Mine is on Christmas day, so I have done that and it works out better for both the givers and the receivers. Just some thoughts. GL

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L.K.

answers from Provo on

My girls birthdays are also close together (2 days apart). They just turned 4 and 1 last month and I was stressing out about what to do to make them both feel special, but not have to deal with 2 parties! We ended up just giving them their presents from us (mom and dad & sister) on their individual birthdays and took them out with just our little family to do something special for them. THEN, the day in between we had an extended family party were they shared the attention. I think it worked pretty good! Then again, they are still small enough to not care : ) But I totally understand your worry!

Good Luck!

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D.C.

answers from Boise on

I think you can do a joint party.we have done those before and as long as you make sure each child gets their own special presents and time then it goes well.the way we did it, is to invite friends of both children just a couple a piece. make sure each child opens their presents at seperate times, like one before the cake and one after. good luck and have fun.

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J.L.

answers from Pueblo on

I have 10 yo twins and a 8 yo daughter all 3 born in August 10 days apart. We have a joint b-day party every year. Once in a while my daughter will want something of her own and I tell her money doesnt grow on trees. Its also ridiculous to invite family over two separate times so close together. Oh we also have a nephew whos b-day is in between my kids so we normally have him in there too. To make them feel special I cook them a birthday dinner or take them out on there actual birth dates and get them a small cake for just us.

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J.F.

answers from Billings on

Right now at this age, it's fine to do that, but make sure you don't make it a tradition. I guarantee that as the kids get older they are very much going to want something for themselves so that they feel like they as individuals deserve a special celebration. While it might be easier on you to have one celebration, imagine how difficult it will be for your kids once they've reached an age to consider that you don't think they're special enough for you to put the effort into making them each feel like they deserve to be individually recognized. (They may not, and of course you love them individually, but kids logic can be cruel) I've had to share virtually everything special with my next oldest sister, and not only did this strain our already difficult relationship, it really affected my relationship with my parents as well.

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

By all means, combine the birthdya parties! I have two little girls who are turnign 7 and 4 in a couple of months, they were born on the same day 3 years apart and we have always told them how wonderful and special it is that they GET to share their birthday and their parties. They are both into the same kinds of things so they have been fine wioth having the same theme for their parties, we have done butterflies, princesses, unicorns, and this year it will be a hula girl party. I invite children of both age ranges and we always have a blast. Since your two are both boys I am sure that you can find themes that they will both enjoy, cars or tains or dinosaurs perhaps? I alwasy make two cakes decorated differently so they each have their own cake and I make sure that the number of presents is pretty much equal. My girls have never once complained about sharing their party, they may resent it when they get older I guess, for now I tell them that because the party is for two kids I can spend more money on it and make it a bigger bash than if it was only for one child (and it's true!). So if they want separate parites someday I will just use the same amount of money split for two smaller parties, it is really their choice. Good luck and have fun!

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J.R.

answers from Denver on

I don't see why you couldn't have joint parties. You could try to make it as unique as possibel for each kid. Each child could have their own cake, get it invite a few of their own friends, and You could even decorate in two diffrent themes one for each child. On the actual day of thier birthday make it a special day for them let them pick breakfast and lunch or maybe make their favorite dinner. Have fun and best of luck to you.

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

Until they are older, like when your oldest is 6 or 7, I think it is okay to do combined birthdays. My older 2 kids birthdays are exactly 2 weeks apart, and we used to have a BBQ in between their birthdays. When my daughter reached a certain age though, she wanted her day to be special with her friends. I know it is important for them to have their own party with their own friends, so we still do the combined party for relatives and family friends, but they have a SMALL party individually. I let them invite 4 friends each. That way we aren't completely strapped.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

they're still too young to care about having separate birthdays - don't give yourself brain damage! when they're older - say 4 and 6 and have different friends, the easiest way is to do one the weekend before and one the weekend after. My kids' birthdays are one week apart and that works the best.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

My sister and I were born a few weeks apart and my mom still combined our bday! It sucked!
We would mostly do it on her bday or closer to it and really I always felt it was my sisters birthday. I still don't like birthday because of it all... just not fun.
I would say while they are young it is fine, but as they get older they need and deserve something on their own. Even if it is super tiny.

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D.C.

answers from Denver on

You might consider doing two separate (smaller) birthday cakes so each gets their own recognition. Consider letting them take turns opening gifts (the oldest opens one, the youngest opens one, etc.). At this age, it's probably not a big deal for them to share in a celebration.

When they get older and want to include friends, that might be different. Consider asking a close friend/relative to help with the parties. Due to the size of our home, we've had to split our daughter's birthday party so family comes to one party, friends come to another - 2 parties is tiring, but with the help of others, wasn't too bad. Hope this helps! D.

V.E.

answers from Denver on

J.,

I haven't encountered this issue, but I asked a friend who is 2 years and one day older than her sister. She said they ALWAYS celebrated their birthdays together (still do!) and she said when she was younger it was so much fun. It did bother her as she got older, for example her "sweet 16" was also her sisters "fabulous 14" party! This year the younger sister is getting married 3 days before their birthdays, so there will be another thing during that time! But I don't see anything wrong with having a joint party. They are young now. As they get older you can do one party with 2 separate themes. I just went to a party 2 weeks ago that was a graduation and a 10 year old birthday in one! The parents had one cake, half was congrats grad, and the other was star wars birthday. They had both decorations up. If it bothers them when they're older, separate the parties by a month or so. Or even celebrate one of their half birthdays, then you have 6 months between them. Right now they're so young, its not awful to have one joint party. Good luck

V.

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V.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm a little late getting to this one, but my suggestion is SANITY FIRST!! They are NOT old enough to really care all that much, it may actually be fun to share a party. I would suggest not making it on either of their ACTUAL birthday days and on that particular DAY give them their own special personal gift from mom and dad and that is IT. Save all the major gift giving for the party and the family and the stress for one day. Less house cleaning and party planning involved!! When they get bigger, say 5 or 6 then maybe separate them and do the parties on a Saturday for friends or something. Growing up I had parties for family and friends alternating every other year, same with all my sibs, but none of us are that close together!!

Good luck!
V.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

my boys' birthdays are 5 days apart. we have only done joint parties. maybe when they are older and in school and have their own groups of friends 2 parties will be good, but i don't feel they are necessary right now. when they were 3 & 1, we did a pirate party. even my one yr old enjoyed the balloon swordfighting. the next birthday was just a family party because i'd just had surgery. it wasn't as exciting, but they were happy just to eat a dessert and open presents. when they turned 5 & 3, i had a one month old baby and didn't have much time or energy. but they had been talking for months about what kind of party they would be having. one wanted spiderman and the other wanted batman & joker. i made a simple cake with a combination of superhero decorations from a party store. the plates, napkins, cups, and goody bags were also combinations of the two comics. instead of games i got a magician (my stepdad), which provided great entertainment and more goody bag items. the kids made up games with balloons while i got the food ready. each of my sons got to choose 3 guests to invite, but really they were both friends with all the kids. it was easy on me, but the kids had a blast. no need to feel guilty about combined parties, at least not at this age!

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J.P.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hello J.!

My girls are two years and one month apart. We've done combined birthdays up until last year when they turned 6 and 8, and that's probably only because it was the first year we were not around family. We always did a little birthday with just our family on their actual birthday. Just a little cake, some balloons and streamers, and a few presents. Then we had the bigger party with family, combined. I never had any trouble doing it. No one felt left out or like it wasn't their own special day. One theme and one cake! We did put candles on both sides of the cake so each child had their own correct number of candles. No one has ever complained to me about having to share birthdays and at that age. We just didn't make a big deal about the fact that they had to share the day. The parties were way more relaxed, too, because I could put all of my time and energy into preparing for one great party and not two smaller ones. Costs less, also. I would take advantage of the fact that you can pull it off now without upsetting anyone! Happy partying!

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K.H.

answers from Denver on

my kids' bdays are two weeks apart. We have decided to alternate years; one gets a party at home (with mom doing the planning, game management, etc) and the other gets one "out" (rec center, park, etc., so no clean up and no planning on my part). I limited myself to two cakes (we enjoy designing and decorating them together), but store bought for school and for the family night we eat leftover cake! The week in between we do the family gathering (we like White Fence Farm in Lakewood!). Sometimes we even move the earlier bday (kids' party) celebration earlier by a week and the later is postponed by a week. Has saved my sanity. Good luck.

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B.W.

answers from Denver on

What a crazy week for you! My daughters birthdays are 2 days apart (my oldest had just turned 3 right before our middle one was born). We did joint birthday parties- this year, my oldest started kindergarten and had some different friends, so we had a party for her at our house in the afternoon with her friends and then a BBQ for her sister that night- this is the first year we had "2 parties". Right now, they are at an age that they really don't care about having separate parties. One thing that I've found too is that if you order cakes (I got mine at King Soopers, but I'm sure other places do it as well), you can get the cake in 2 different designs- and it doesn't cost extra (even better)! We did half princess/half Dora for their 2nd/5th birthdays and it was great. We sang happy birthday to both of them, they both had their own side with their own candles to blow out and they were both really happy. I'm sure you can do that for them with what they like. It's nice because, especially since they are younger, they are likely to share the same friends so they can come to one party to celebrate. This is nice for family too.

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

Our neighbors have a combined birthday party for both of their girls. It is so fun! They usually have a bouncy castle, face painter, some type of craft, 2 cakes of course, a great lunch spread and drinks for kids and adults. It usually turns into an impromptu block party and is one of the best parties of the summer! My friend/neighbor makes it all about her girls and that this is THEIR party it truly is a unique event.

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M.S.

answers from Boise on

My brother and I were born on the same day 2 years apart. I also have b/g twins. What my mom did for us, especially when we got a little older, was to have us go to the store and pick out what we wanted for a cake. Then we went home and made them up. Sometimes we would make up eachother's (sort of like our gift to eachother) sometimes we would make up our own. Anyway, then we would have 1 party with either a bbq or a kiddie part of some sorts. It was a lot of fun and my brother and I never worried about it. Still today we do our birthdays together.

For the twins we just have two similar theme's. Their first birthday was easy, then the second we did a bouncing party and had it themed around anything that bounced...including tigger. This year we are going to do a cowboy/girl party and have Woody and Jessie from Toy Story a big part of it. Hope these ideas have helped

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

I have a brother three days short of two years younger than my self, I remember our birthdays being celebrated together at a small party at home when we 4 and 6 we had our own birthday crowns, and I had a strawberry short cake cake and my brother had a huckleberry hound cake. We both had our own friends and it was fine, We also did the next year together, we went to burger king, and both had a cake there we had family friends there. I feel no great loss sharing my birthday with my brother. It made us closer if any thing.

Good luck
S.
mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.com

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A.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

What about having a table for each of them? It doesn't make sense at that age to have separate parties for each of them-they won't care, as long as they're having fun. Do two different themes-a baby theme & a big boy theme (Little Einsteins & Superman, something obviously different). Make a cake for each of them (ask a friend to make one if you're swamped) or get 2 smaller cakes from the store-one w/each design on it. Decorate their table or area of the room w/their stuff, buy hats & noisemakers in both themes & hand them out (birthday boy gets his theme, guests get whatever). Now they won't care that it's joint, & looking back as older kids they'll be able to see that while it was a joint party it was really 2 parties at the same time.
Sounds like our May-hubby's bday, a son, mine, Mother's Day.. WHEEEE and that's all in 11 days usually.
Ask your friends to help you too! Enlist their help in decorating (I've gotten to the point that I get regular balloons in party colors, blow them up & just let them be on the floor in the party room-the kids can squish 'em or take one home), baking or picking up cakes...
Good luck!

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A.Z.

answers from Denver on

I think with your children being 1 and 3 having a combined party would be ok but as they get older serperaste them. I was a Christmas baby and my little brother was born on December 12. We would always celebrate our birthdays together but on or around his birthday. I never even had a birthday cake on my birthday until I was married. I hated sharing my birthday with my brother. Do one birthday party one week before the birthday and the other a week after so they are splint a little bit. I know it is hard but it means so much to your kiddos.

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N.Z.

answers from Missoula on

My brother and I were 10 days apart and had joint birthday parties once we were school aged. We would usually do a pool party (our birthdays are in August). We would have one big sheet cake that said both of our names. We never felt "gilted" or anything. One thing though was we would always have a special birthday dinner on our birthday which we got to choose the entire meal. So that is something that was just ours.

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M.R.

answers from Provo on

I"d say do it. They are still pretty young it should be okay. my hubby and I have the same issue...father's day, his and my birthdays and our anniversary in the same week, we just have one big party for everything :). good luck

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

I do my son's bday parties together. They are four years apart and there b-day's are one at the end of october and one at the beginning of november. A couple years ago we had at McDonalds and this last year we had it at an indoor fun place. They each get to pick there own cake and I don't think the present are lacking because everyone has to buy 2. We all have a blast and it is so non stressful

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D.W.

answers from Boise on

My 5 year old daughter and 1 year old son are 1 day apart, and 1 week before Christmas. So I totally understand your dilemna.
I've decided to do birthday parties every other year starting at 6 years old (after they have time to make friends in school). All the other parties are just family parties, so I see no harm in combining the parties as long as they have their own stuff -- cake, presents, etc. Sing to them seperately so they feel extra special (instead of singing both names at the same time). Do it the weekend before either of their birthday's (it's no fun after your birthday is over, and that way the party is not on either one's actually birthday). I'm actually going to do the party one month before because it's Christmas time for me and it's no fun getting birthday and Christmas presents all at the same time. I save one gift for their actual birthday, and we usually go out to eat "ON" their birthday.
Best wishes to you in figuring out what works for you.

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R.A.

answers from Provo on

I am the oldest of 10 kids, and two of my sisters are 1 year and 1 day apart and we ALWAYS had separate parties for them. I'm sure it was hard on the grandparents to come out two days in a row (and they did), but it's so important for each child to know that HE is important enough to get his own birthday party, to celebrate HIS day.

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A.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Do you feel like you have to have big birthdays every year. I finally decided that my kids could only have a friend party every other year. So one year my boys have parties and the next year my girls. They know we will always do something as a family and they will get dinner, cake and presents every year but a big friend party only every other year. YOu could do the oldests friend party this year and then the youngest next year and rotate, or definetly stick with doing them together especially if you are doing a big event.

Good Luck in whatever you decide. I just know rotating for me has cut back on the stress and mine are not as close together as yours are.

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