Combined Birthday Parties

Updated on February 09, 2011
J.G. asks from Rancho Cordova, CA
12 answers

My son is turning 5 and my daughter will soon turn 8 (their birthdays are 2 weeks apart). We haven't celebrated their birthdays for the last 2 years due to my son's food allergies. He has been expressing that he wants to have a birthday party this year. We would like to keep it small again, due to food allergy issues. The invitees for both my son and daughter are the same close friends/family - they have been bringing presents to my kids even when we didn't have a party or celebration last couple of years. I am wondering if it will be okay to combine the birthday parties this year? I first thought I would only put my son's name on the invitation and on the day of the party, just bring an extra cake and have people sing for my daughter too. But am not sure if that would make the guests feel bad. Could anyone please suggest what I should do? Thank you.

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answers from Washington DC on

Yes its okay to combine the parties. I would put both names on the invitation. Just let each kid pick their own cake, their own personality.

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answers from Orlando on

My son and daughter are 2 years apart but their birthdays are 4 days apart. My other two daughters have birthdays 6 days apart (they are 3 years apart). So, we are a family who often does combined birthday parties. Here is a quick sum-up of the pros and cons.
Pros to joint party:
Get it all over with on one day!! Whoo hoo! (I dread parties and I'm not sure why.)
Can make everything once (food, goody bags, etc.) and just increase the size/amount. (usually)
More kids to help celebrate in case some guests can't/don't show up

Exhaustion! ;)
Sometimes compromises must be made and children may not be happy with everything you do or can't do.
Too much to handle for some people. (I always vow this is me after I do it!)
Sometimes makes people who would normally bring a gift to one child feel obligated to bring presents for both.

I would say in your case that you sound like you're going to keep it simple either way, so I bet it would work out fine. Have your kids expressed a feeling one way or another about the arrangement? If the food allergy thing is something that causes you a lot of stress, and this would exacerbate that, then don't do it. If you do combine, I would put both children's names on the invitation though. You don't want to make it seem like one of their birthdays was an afterthought compared to the other one. I would think it would make the "omitted child" feel worse than the guests.
This past year I did two of my children's parties back to back. Not the original plan, definitely lead to exhaustion, but it worked out. I did one morning party with the girls, lunch in the middle with a 1/2 hr. overlap time, and then an early afternoon party for the boys after lunch. Don't try this unless you have someone to help in case someone's parents don't show on time for pick up (or in the case that you are driving them home, someone to do that so you can stay for the other party). I don't think I'll do this again, but it might be an option that gives them each their own special time but lets you get things over with in one day. Don't plan anything for the evening but crashing though! ;) Good luck. I'm sure whatever you decide will be great!



answers from San Francisco on

We have children that are 2 years apart and 2 weeks apart so we usually have the parties together.When it is a family party most people appreciate not giving up 2 weekends to celebrate. So will appreciate it. As for the cake you can just have both ames on one cake no one will think anything of it. If what you are looking for is a theme pick games like scrable or Sorry or even Chineese checkers that keeps the adults busy and will even have memories to talk about playing them as kids-- or just let people talk and enjoy one another.
For the last invitation we gave out : We took a picture of the 2 kids together and had it at the top of the invitation that then said--Come to celebrate the special birthdays of D and F. D is 6 years old this year and F is 8. The celebration starts at time and place. Let us know if you can join us. We ran them off on nice paper and got them out to everyone. Since we had 50 people there it was great fun for everyone. One time a cousin had a waterslide at the party and the adults had more fun on it than the kids did.
Good Luck and don't over think it and spend 3 x's as much as you need to.By the way they tell me that they will do the same thing with thier children as it made it special to share the day with one another.



answers from Chicago on

My boys born in the same month 24 days apart. We also combine parties with the familly. The boys understood and it was never a problem. If the party is with close family and freinds only then of course combine them. Not sure what the issue is really if these are people that you are close to then why should it matter. That would really be unfair to your daughter by leaving her off the invite. She is old enough to catch on to that and it may make her feel bad.

If you are having a "kids" party then do them separate.



answers from San Francisco on

If you plan to celebrate both, then you should put both on the invitation. not only will the guests feel bad if they don't bring a gift for your daughter, but your daughter may feel a little "less than" if you don't include her name.



answers from San Francisco on

Theres nothing wrong having both kids b-day party on the same day. Put both names on the invite so they both feel special. Have your guests sing to one kid first and the other after...



answers from Pittsburgh on

My kids are exactly 25 months apart and have always shared their party. If the guests coming are friends of both of them then half you problem is already solved. If the guest is friends with both kids I address the invitation as a party for both. If the guest only knows one child I address it as just the one child that the guest knows. We have been doing this for 5 years and no problems yet. My oldest is a girl and the younger is a boy, they pick a mutual theme and go from there. We celebrate for only the birthday child on their special day, but combine the party.



answers from Stockton on

My sister and I are 4 years and 10 days apart. I have never had my own birthday party and today is my 34th b-day. I hated it! She always had a party and I was mentioned somewhere after cutting the cake and watching her open her presents. I was never included and the guests felt bad too. Not nice for a kid to grow up with. I would deffinately put both children on the invite yet still do something with them on their own special day to make sure they don't feel like they are not important enough like I did. Please once they are older ask them what they want to do.



answers from Jackson on

Everyone wants to feel special one day out of the year. At that young of an age it might be good idea to do seperate. Just me!



answers from Sacramento on

I would just combine the parties. My kids birthdays are 2 years and 3 days apart so we combine theirs (although they aren't as old as your kids yet). I also had combined family birthday parties with my little brother (his birthday is 9 years and 6 days after mine). Ultimately, you know your guests and your children better than I do, so you can make a better decision. But if it were me, I would just combine them, nothing wrong with that!



answers from Sacramento on

combine them. Have the party halfway between the two birthdays. But be sure you have both kids on board with the plan before you do it.



answers from San Francisco on

I have boy/girl twins & are 8 yrs old. So far we have always done combined parties. We have picked something they would both like...Little Gym, mini golf, indoor soccer place, camping themed party, pump it up etc.

Now that my kids have different friends, if a kid is just friends with one of my kids I send the invitation just for that child of mine. if they are friends with both, the imvite says it is for both of my kids. Family members of course get invites for both kids.

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