My Child Doesn't Know How to Comfort Himself

Hi! I'd refer you to Dr. Sears. Google Dr. William Sears it is the first hit and under the main web link there is one that says "sleep problems".

Good luck!

Hi T.!

Although your Mom is only trying to help, and hopefully she's not as overbearing as my Mom used to be, you need to sit her down and talk with her. She needs to understand where you are coming from, because this is gonna be just as hard for her as it is for you, but here goes: If you're positive that the baby is dry, full, feeling ok (teething incl), and he justs wants to be held, you are just going to have to let him cry himself to sleep. I've got 3 girls-26, 23, and 9, and went through this with all of them. There is nobody that compares to baby like Mommy does, and they are going to want that Mommy attention any chance they get, so they also need to start learning as early as possible, what it means when you put them to bed. It's gonna break your heart and will be so hard for you to listen to, but I promise you that it will start to get easier and easier, and you'll be so glad that you didn't wait any longer.

When my Jenna (26 yr old) was born, she was the first grandchild, and she was always being held, because everyone always wanted to hold her. I lived with my Mom because I was 18, and my husband was in the service, so I had my Mom butting in, and my Grandma, etc, so because I was young, they pretty much just did what they thought, no matter what I said. It was tough!

Another thing that I learned, that I was able to use with Hannah (9yr old) that really worked a lot better is to never let them sleep with you, (will start a reallllllly hard habit to break, and NEVER threaten to put them to bed as a punishment, because then going to bed turns into rejection and a bad thing. Make them feel like it's a special thing, and a certain stuffed animal or blanket "just for them" for when they go to bed. Make any sense?

As for the sleeping with you habit, I know a gal who's son is in first grade, and he will not go to sleep, stay asleep, etc, without his Mom in the bed with him.

Sometimes it's so hard to do what's best for them, but it's a learned behavior, just like the rocking is, so it'll all work out! Best of luck to ya!

I rocked my son until he was over two and boy was it hard for me to stop that! I gave him a spill-proof cup of water to hold and a special stuffed animal. He still has it and he's 11 (In ten days-my god, time does fly) It just takes some time and learning what your son needs. Is he afraid of the dark? My youngest (7) sleeps with his light on. I also let them have toys- quiet toys- in bed with them. My oldest has ADHD and getting him to sleep all night was a trial. He's on meds now. I'm not saying your son is ADHD. I just want you to know, I know how hard it can be when your child won't sleep through the night. It's frustrating!!! to say the least. Good Luck!!!!

I completely understand what you are going through. I too am dealing with this type of issue with my 6 month old. She gets so cranky before bedtime, she fights it, finally she will fall asleep. In the middle of the night she will wake up crying and screaming like she is being hurt. I wonder if she is having nightmares. Do you or anyone else have any suggestions?

I know that it is hard but you have to let him cry a little he will learn there is really no other way to teach him to comfort himself until he knows that no one is going to come at his every cry. I know that its hard. but he will learn.
good luck!!!
B.

well first tell your mom to stop! hahaha..
i used to rock my son to sleep for nap every day and would hold him the whole nap..then at night time it was hard to get him to go to sleep..i learned from that..haha
it was hard..but we did have to let him cry for the 5 mins,,check on him. pat his back.let him know it's ok..lay hime down. then keep doing that..after 10 mins etc..
you know his cries..i could tell when my son was crying because he wanted out,,and frustrated and when his cry was something more like scared or leg stuck in the crib rungs..haha.. it's hard,,but you literally have to watch the timer because it will seem a lot longer than just 5-10 mins when they are crying and you are trying to keep your self from going to him.
there's not right or wrong way,,, it's not black or white,,
i used to with my son not pick him up out of the crib when he woke up because that's what i read was 'wrong'..with my daughter i do pick her up only because she is a good sleeper and when she wakes up i feel it must be for a good reason and she goes back to sleep very well..so picking her up doesn't make a difference. each kid is different..i hope you able to find something that works for you
T.

Hi T.... I had my 3 yr old son when i was 18 and still lived at home. my son was ill for the first few months of his life, so it was hard for my mother and i to not do the same thing. so i know how you feel. the hardest thing ever to do is to listen to you baby cry.... but IT WORKS!! they have to learn to selfsooth at an early age. if they don't it may cause problems in the long run... separation problems, etc. all kids are different, i know, but it has been proven that if you allow them to cry themselves to sleep, they will sleep better, and through the night because they wear themselves out crying. i would suggest putting him in his bed or crib with an animal or something, and stressing that you will see him in the morning. then just leaving the room. i used to wear head phones just loud enough to drown most of the noise of him crying out. that way i could still hear him but the screaming didn't seem as bad. wait a few mintues(about 10) and go in to sooth him WITHOUT picking him up... NO MATTER WHAT! each time wait for longer and longer periods. it may take a week of very stressful nights of hearing him cry and scream for you, but you will be soooo greatful when it's all over. I hope this helps. write me back to let me know. A. B.

I dont know about the rocking but my husband sang to are son every nite until he was deployed when our son was 3 months old . We found him many time and still now at 2 humming himself to sleep. just thought id share it cause i found it very cute .

It may sound a bit strange but I have found one thing that works really good is a bear called a mommy bear it has the sound of a mothers woom or play soft music classical my kids loved music and we now have music on more then cartoons the sounds are soothing and seem to help. You are in my thoughts and prayers it will get better.