15 Month Old Who Wants to Rocked to Sleep

I'd let him put himself to sleep. You love on him all day, so he knows that you want him. He just wants you to rock him sometimes; he doesn't NEED it - I'd stop now before it becomes a terrible habit. If you want, you could rock for a few minutes while you read a book to him. That way you still have some snuggle time before bed.

I don't beleive theres anything wrong with letting him cry to sleep. He will still love you. You could try getting him a nightlight or letting him listen to some bedtime music. Maybe read him a story before bed in his bed. I know he's young, but maybe you can talk to him and ask him why his upset going to bed. Hopes this can help. Good luck.
L.

My son will soon be 5. I still rock him for a few minutes but lay him down while he is still awake. I enjoy this time with him. At some point he won't want it anymore. I will probably do it for as long as he will allow. I am a working mom and soon to be single mom of a 12 y.o. girl and almost 5 y.o. boy. I did the same with my daughter.

T.

Nikki,

You are not alone in what you're dealing with! I have a two-year-old boy who went through the very same thing when he was that age. I will just share with you my own personal experience on this issue, but just remember that every child is different, so there are very few absolute right and wrongs when it comes to parenting your own child - it is what works for your family. My own experience taught me that there is a balance between holding your child, nursing, rocking him, etc. and letting him learn to fall asleep on his own. If you lean too far in either direction, then you could have a problem. Pay attention to the cues of your child so that you know just how long your son needs to be rocked before he will do a reasonable amount of crying and then fall asleep. I have found that if my child got used to too much cradling before bed, he would expect this each time, and would not give me the mom time that I needed to keep being a good mom. At first when I did this, my son cried for a half an hour. This was pretty much the only time he did this, and then almost immediately it shortened to 10 minutes and then 5 minutes max to settle down to sleep. This transition literally took 2-3 days to complete, and included periodic reassurance from me that I was there - eventually just by my voice from another room. Now at the age of two, he totally puts himself to sleep after we go through a routine and only cries if he is way over-tired. You are at a tough transition. Remember to keep this balance and to listen to your own child. Good Luck!

Hi Nikki,
I see nothing wrong with rocking him to sleep. You won't spoil him and i'm sure he feels much more rested having been cuddled to sleep as opposed to crying himself to sleep. Do whatever works for you and your family. I nurse my one year old to sleep and or rock her. I know many moms that rocked their little ones to sleep and they eventually grew out of it and have no sleep issues with them now. good luck! They grow so fast enjoy those late night cuddle sessions now before they no longer want them!

Your question brought back wonderful memories of my own son at that age. He loved to be rocked to sleep and because I was a working mom, this was our special time in the evenings. He was a "big" boy (over 10 lbs at birth and about 35 lbs at 15 months) so it was becoming more uncomfortable for both of us. However, at about 17 months, he still liked being rocked but gradually "weaned" himself when he went into a regular bed. I still cherish those memories and my son who is now 34 always gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheek when it's time to leave. He has two children of his own and is a wonderful daddy. I say rock your little man as long as you both enjoy it. I don't think you're spoiling him at all.
J. B.

Hi Nikki,

In my opinion you can not spoil your baby by rocking him to sleep. I think that is so wonderful that you take the time to do that. My husband and I always make sure our little 19 month old boy gets rocked to sleep every night. You only will have him little once in his life and you need to soak in every minute. It is a pet peave of mine that everyone gives their opinions on how you need to raise YOUR child. You need to let their advance go in one ear and out the other when people think they need to raise YOUR kid. Keep doing what you think is right...Good luck!

oh my goodness now this little boy is 15 months old, and people are saying you are spoling him by rocking him??????
geesh when did loving a child become spoling???My advise is this, rock that little fella till the cows come home. Don't let people intimidate you and if you want to rock your little boy then rock him. I would never allow my child to cry themself to sleep, pick that child up and rock and console him, and give him all the love you can--cause some day he will be all grown up and out the door before you know it.

We rocked my daughter to sleep until she was 6 1/2. We would read a book as we rocked. Granted, at that age we had to wake her up and she had to walk to bed but that was her time and she loved it as much as we did. We "tucked her in" until she left home. I see nothing wrong with having that closeness with your kids. My daughter has her own family now but when we do spend over nights we still get good-night hugs and I-love-yous. She has silly moments now where she will sit in my lap with a book and want to rock. It's a wonderful memory for both of us. Rock on! It will last a lifetime.
mddhf

I haven't ready any other responses but I thought I'd let you know you're not wrong. I rocked my youngest to sleep, after he nursed, until he was 22 months old. It was our routine. There's not a thing wrong with it. If that's what he likes, and it's how he goes to sleep, I don't see a problem with it. 15 months is still young. Some babies don't know how to go to sleep alone, just yet. If it works for you, keep doing it.

Keep rockin' Mama. They are so little for such a short period of time and it does not spoil them. It lets them know that they are loved. Do you like to cry yourself to sleep? Isn't it nicer to have a hugging session with your husband to make you feel wanted. Same with little ones. I have 3 biological children, l adopted son and 7 step children and 10 grandchildren. I have been a foster mom for 40 years and have never regretted taking the time to rock the little ones to sleep. They all have turned out to be wonderful well adjusted kids. I am very proud of all of them. My youngest son (adopted) is almost 4 and there are times that he will ask for "rocking time". I feel so blessed.

what about just laying with him for the few minutes it takes him to fall asleep on those days he cries.....it might sooth him and yet it's getting him in his bed without rocking him. truthfully though forget about other people, go with your gut and what works and feels right for the two of you, if you want to rock him to sleep when he's 5 go for it. lol. you're mom and mom knows best.

I had the same problem with my now 9 year old. I agree with the reading chair and giving up the rocking chair. When I had my second child, I didn't rock him to sleep at night. I would nurse him until he was sleepy and then put him to bed awake. When it was nap time I would pick him up, even in the middle of playing, and put him down. To this day, he is a much better sleeper than my daughter. He is not going to think that you don't want him. They don't have that thinking capacity yet. Also, sorry Kari, but I don't think that laying with your child until he falls asleep is a good thing either. You are trading one bad habit for another one. If you want to still be laying with your son 6 or 7 years from now when it will be much harder to break, I would not even start that. Just my opinion.

It's wonderful to rock your baby to sleep and normal for a mom to want to do it, but it will haunt you if you continue.

I went out an bought "Baby Whiseperer" by Tracey Hogg, as a suggestion given to me. It was my bible and it worked. When my youngest daughter wouldn't fall asleep in her bed, I had to take action. I needed my sleep and I was a single mom at the time. Read the chapters on sleeping routines first, but thw whole book is a must read. It will be hard the first couple of nights, it helped thatI wear hearing aids and I took them out at night, but in the end it will be for the best. The book says give it 3 days, it's true, it worked (if you stick with it).

There are other ways to bond with your baby and keep the snuggle time. Create a routine leading up to bed time that includes snuggle time. Read a book or sing calm songs. Remember your baby should conform to your routine not you to theirs. But of course the routine needs to be realistic.

I hope this helped.

I now buy the book and give it to ne Mom's for their shower.

We changed our rocking chair to our reading chair. This way he still had his time in the chair to cuddle with M. before bed time, added reading to our nighttime routine and shortened the time in the chair. I think letting him put himslef to sleep is a wonderful thing at this age and will save you many headaches later! My opinion on crying it out, I did it, my son is five and we still have a fantastic relationship. It was a rough 3 nights for both of us but in the end we made a bedtime routine we both have come to love. Before that bedtime was my absolute least fav. part of the day. I would give it to anyone. (How sad b/c it's such a wonderful time now!)
I do believe with Kari 100% with the fact that you have to take advice people give and then let it go. Do what you think it's best for you and your child. You are Mom, the only true opinion that matters! (Well, maybe Dad's every now and then :0))

It sounds to me like you're already starting to transition away from the rocking. Does your son have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal? We put my 19 month old to bed with her blankets and a few stuffed animals. She will play with them till she falls asleep. I know that I don't fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I need a little time to unwind. I read, she plays with her DogDog and MoMo. Some nights she plays for 10 mins, sometimes it's 30, just depends on how tired she is. Just keep at it. If he cries, let him go for maybe 10 mins. I bet he'll put himself to sleep. The biggest thing is consistency. It's not something he'll probably get in one night. You may have to put him to bed awake four or five times before he gets the hang of it. And explain to him what's going on. Toddlers aren't stupid. He may not understand the actual words, but he'll get the intention. Remember, most advice is given with the best intentions, but not all of it will work for you and your child. If you do try a new technique, make sure you try it for at least 4 or 5 days. Good luck to you! :D

I have 3 children. My boys are 16 mos. apart. My first son got the full treatment. Rocked every night, never 'cried-it-out', got to sleep w/M. and daddy, etc...When my 2nd son came along so soon after him, I decided right from the start to put him to bed when he was slightly awake. My 2nd son has always been a GREAT sleeper. I really believe it started with the habits he formed when he came home from the hospital.
That said, your son's already 15 months old. He's developed habits and if you want to change them it'll take patience and love!!
Also, there's NOTHING wrong with rocking your son to sleep if it works for you. Those moments are precious. You are not spoiling your son by loving him. You may be making things h*** o* yourself though! My boys are 13 & 15 now and I miss the days when I could put them both on my lap and read them a book or rock them. ;) Enjoy these years. They go by much too quickly. Hugs!

there is nothing wrong with your son crying himself to sleep. during the day re-assure him that M. loves him by lots of hugs and kisses. some children who are nurtured with too much attention--tend to have separation anxiety when it is time to start school. if he cries when you put him to bed--let him cry. just check on him at various intervals to let him know that you are there. hope this helps.

The first thing you need to do is decide what is appropriate for YOUR child and YOUR family.

If you're okay with rocking him and quite possibly having to rock or soothe him to sleep for the next few years then continue what you're doing and be happy with your decision.

Ever since my child was about 6 months old, our bedtime routine has been as follows: fresh diaper, pajamas, hug and kiss, then into the crib. We chose to use 'cry-it-out' and it literally took 2 nights. Now that our son is 19 months old he still goes to sleep wonderfully. This is the method we chose for our family and it was worked wonderfully.

Why did we pick this method? Well, because of our family situation the 'family bed' was out of the question for us (my husband is frequently 'on-call' and gets pages at all hours of the night). Also, we never wanted to get to the place where our child was old enough to feel like he was being 'kicked out' of our room. We also felt that it was important for our child to be able to learn how to fall asleep on his own without the aid of rocking, nursing, or other form of 'guided pacifying'. We felt it would be easier for our son to transition at this age and to learn how to fall asleep on his own at 6 months in his crib as opposed to trying to figure it out at 2, 3 years old when he is in a toddler bed and get out and run around the house if he wanted to. He will go to sleep at 6:45 every night and sleep until 7:30 the next morning and will also take a daily 3 hour nap. Sleeping issues for us are few and far between.

All that being said...only you know your family situation and what's best for your child so make your decision based on that. That's exactly what we did when we chose to teach our child to sleep and it has worked wonderfully for us.

In my opinion, you should do whatever feels right. I rocked my daughter to sleep every night until she was 3 -- and my rocking chair busted.. lol. I started rocking her to sleep because she would have to have breathing treatments because of reactive airway disease, so it was easier. It was our special time together - and I loved it. Every single second of it. Everyone told me to stop doing that, that she'll never go to sleep on her own.etc.. but it was our time together, and it was special and important to both of us.

Now that she's a bit older, our routing is -- she gets ready for bed, lays in bed and I read her a book. After that, lights are out and I turn on her music and rub her back for one or two songs. She's usually awake when I leave, but sometimes she's asleep too. It's just our routine and the way we've done it for a while now.

So again, my advice to you is do what YOU feel is right. If you want to rock your baby to sleep -- go for it. Or, if you still want to rock him, but don't want to rock him until he falls asleep, wait until he's groggy and then put him in bed, he'll be asleep in no time.

Good luck.... and follow your heart. You're the M. -- you know best :)

M.

Did you read the book "babywise"? My daughter has taught her daughter how to sleep at night, by reading this book. I don't recommend rocking children, because then they will think that they need it every night. And yes, its okay to let children cry. Especially if you plan on having more children, your son needs to be in his own bed. They need to learn that their bed is the safest place to spend the night.

Don't let either side make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing, whichever you choose. Yes, he's old enough to put himself to sleep, but it's hard to listen to him cry endlessly. Do whatever works for you and him. If it's not what some people say is "right" don't worry about it. If you keep rocking him, he'll grow out of it eventually.
You can eas in to not rocking by just sitting with him for a week or two and then go to putting him in his crib and rubbing or pattying his back instead of the rocking.

As for the "Supper Nanny" comment, a lot of psychologists disagree with her methods, so don't put too much enphasis on what she does or doesn't do. Remember, when Mama
s not happy, no one is happy, so doing what works for you is fine.

My 15 month old had similar issue, but his was a "bottle" habit. We didn't want him to "need" the bottle to fall asleep as it was the only time of the day that he took a bottle, so we recently decided to give him a book to look at when we put him to bed instead of the bottle. He quietly looked at his book for about 10 minutes and then I came back and told him to lay down, told him good night and turn out the light... not a tear was shed. It was MUCH more pleasant than the 45 minutes of screaming for a bottle and it worked!! (much to my surprise!) We did the same thing for naps, but also gave him a sippy with milk. He sat in his crib, looked at his book and drank his milk, then laid down and went to sleep. Wonderful........

I have two little girls one which I have to put to sleep everynight by letting her lay beside me and I pat her. My youngest would fall asleep while breastfeeding but I have been trying to put her in her crib before she falls asleep so that she goes out on her own. She fusses for about ten minutes but goes to sleep. I feel bad because she is 1yr now and I have just started this but I feel that she will be happier in the long run. My 3yr has always been rocked or patted to sleep and she is not about to change her ways now but she also goes to sleep alot easier and faster that she used to. Either way in my opinion is the right way. If you don't mind putting your baby to sleep by rocking him everynight try to get him to lay down beside you instead of rocking. If you need to make a change it doesn't take but a couple of days and a little fussing for them to go to sleep on their own. Good Luck.

I just rock my son until he's sleepy not fully sleeping though and then lay him in his crib while he's still sleepy and he almost always puts himself the rest of the way to sleep. And at his nap times he puts himself to sleep entirely not crying his head off though. Hope this helps a little.

Nikki,
I personal see nothing wrong with rocking your son,
if you want to keep doing it keep it up and enjoy haveing your
son held so close to you, what I'm trying to say is enjoy
him now while he is little, because all to soon they are grown
up and not living under your roof any more. I know because
I have a Daughter who is almost 27 she is married, and although I try to keep in contact with her on a regular bases
you know how things get in the way. She doesn't live that
far away but doesn't come see us except maybe 2 or 3 times
a year if that often she lives 10 mins away. I do know that
her work schedule has alot to do with why she doesn't, but
I still would like her to come around alot more often.
without being invited. Anyway just enjoy him now.

K.

I only rocked my kids to sleep before they were a year old. Once that first birthday came, I read stories and put them to bed with their comfort items, a fan blowing and the nightlight on. At first, they cried for a while, but they learned to put themselves to sleep. Yeah, it's not easy to hear them cry, but they won't learn to put themselves to sleep unless given the chance. I am a firm believer in this, and my kids are great sleepers now at 4 1/2 and 20 months. He will not think you don't love him if you let him cry, whoever tells you that, well, I thinks its heartless to let guilt on someone like that.

HI Nikki,
My son just turned 16 months yesterday and i still rock him to sleep.Most of the time he is out before i lay him down and as soon as i put him in his crib he starts to cry. I just tell him M. loves you buddy its time to go night night and he usually cries for a min then he is out again. There is nothing wrong with rocking them one day we wont be able to!

Hi, Nikki, Reading through all the responses, I see a whole lot of "I did this and I loved it". What seems to get lost in all the suggestions is what's best for your child, not the mother. The mothers that tried both methods(rocking or putting them down) mostly agree that putting them down at an early age gives them better sleeping habits for life. Your baby absolutely will not think you don't love him--he will just learn that bedtime is for sleeping. You can gradually break this habit by sitting for a few minutes in the rocker, then putting him to bed and sitting beside him patting his back(no talking), and gradually cutting down the time you stay with him. This is Supernanny's method, not mine, but it's what is best for your baby. All this "do what's right for you" advise is off the mark. Do what's right for HIM.

Hi Nikki - I rock my son who is 14 months old while he drinks a cup of milk and I read him books. ONce his is done with his milk he is usually sleepy and I just put him to bed. He usually wakes up or is awake when I put him down. I will let him fuss/cry for a short while. If it continues to long I know something is wrong and he is not just fighting sleep. I do not think you are wrong for putting you son to bed like this. I had to do this for a few days myself to completely break my son of being rocked to sleep. YOu will not regret it in the long run! GOod luck!

I just can't think that the argument on letting him cry is valid. Parents have been doing this for years and still have good loving relationships with their children.

Anyway, I personally felt that I was doing my daughter a better service by letting hee learn to put herself to sleep. Otherwise if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she would need me to rock her, nurser her..whatever. I started letting her cry around 12 weeks of age and would set my oven timer for ten minutes. If she went over that, or started to get louder, I would go get her. Most often, she was out within five minutes.

I have a video monitor and would notice her wake up sometimes around 8 pm (she goes to bed at 6:30)..she'll wiggle, make a few sounds, suck her hand a bit and fall right back asleep.

I found the book Healty Sleep, Happy Child by Dr. Weisbbluth very helpful. It really focuses on a routine and a set bedtime.

Keep in mind, it can be harder for a child to go to sleep when he/she is overtired. They can usually go out quicker if you catch them before they're exhausted.

Ultimately, do what works for you and what works for your son. If rocking works and you like to do it..they're only young once so enjoy it and forget what other say. I don't think either way is right or wrong. For me, I just didnt' want to get up and rock her all the time..is that bad? ! ;) hehe

Do what your heart tells you...I have a 14 month and do both. We will often rock and he will fall asleep, sometimes we rock for a little then he just can't get comfortable so I put him to bed. He cries for a little and goes to sleep (less then 5 minutes). Sometimes I've had enough and it is BED TIME. HE may get upset for about 10 minnutes then I usually have had eonugh of a breather to go back and snuggle then he is usually right to sleep. NO!! method is perfect you'll figure it out and don't let others bully you into doing thigns a certain way you are his mom you know what is best.

It's tough to do but if you're comfortable with letting him cry a little he will eventually stop crying. We went through the crying part at a younger age but he cried a shorter amount of time each night and after a week or two it was down to just a little fuss and he would stop because he knew we weren't going to keep getting him out of bed. Also we still rock a few minutes before getting into bed so he doesn't completely miss out on the snuggles, but he knows he's expected to go to sleep on his own (he's almost 3 now). Oh, something else that might make it easier on him- we have some small toys on his night stand that he plays with after we leave the room- just a couple of trucks and dinosaurs and a flashlight- because some nights he's "not tired". But this way he still stays in bed and eventually falls asleep. That may be too much temptation for some kids, but it works for him!
--You do what YOU think is best for him. I had lots of people telling me not to let him cry himself to sleep too -mostly my aunts- but I could picture myself still rocking him in Kindergarden! and I didn't like that picture!

Good luck!
J.

We are co-sleepers and love it. I rocked my daughter to sleep until she was about 15 or so months, then just started laying in bed with her. I don't believe in CIO and won't even attempt it on my DD. IMO, I hate it when people tell others that they are creating "bad" habits with whatever bed time they use. What works for one may not work for another. I take the advice/opinions of others with a grain of salt. Everyone in my family thinks that I am spoiling my kids by co-sleeping. I tell everyone "My kids, my rules". And, it works for our family and that is what matters. Children are only little for a very short time, cherish it any way and for as long as you can. Listen to the advice/opinions, but remember that at the end of the day, you and your husband are the ones that make the decisions regarding your children.

Cuddling our babies is really great, and so is having a baby you can put down in his bed who can go to sleep by himself.I really like having a set bedtime routine for babies. Many families like bottle (or sippy cup), bath, book, bed. You will notice that you can cuddle him for the bottle and book parts.Then i'd put him down, kiss him and leave. He needs to go to sleep by himself. There has been a lot written on this site about helping babies to sleep on their own. You can also check at your public library for parenting books on healthy sleep for babies. Good Luck!