My 6 Year Old Has ADHD He Has Had an Attitude Lately and Disrespecting Adults

You are leaving a lot out by just posting a one sentence post. But here’s what I can give to this. I’m a mother of two one with adhd and one with add. I have add myself, oldest daughter father has adhd, so I have been in this game for a while. 6 is a hard age! They say 2, 3, teens all other ages but man 6 was hard! They are learning that they can separate from mom and dad a bit and are trying to navigate his world. With that being said disrespect should not be tolerated. With adhd children the punishment needs to be right away and if possible relate to the crime. Ex mean on the phone, phones lost, mean at the dinner table you eat alone (not in front of tv!) and when you are issuing punishment state why in a calm voice you are loosing this privlage bc you called aunt Mary fart breath. When everyone is calmed down talk about how he could have handled it differently. I always recommend therapists bc I firmly believe everyone needs someone they can talk to outside of the situation. I hope this helped some! Good luck

He's listening, but he's not obeying. There's a big difference.

And ADHD does not equal disrespect. You need to treat him like a disrespectful, disobedient child, and not a medical patient.

Be consistent. Establish rules, and punishments that make sense. For example, if he's rude to others on the playground, he won't get to go to the playground for 3 days. The punishment has to be logical and be connected to the rule.

And be clear with your words. I hope you're not telling him things like "don't have an attitude with me". That's too vague. Tell him clearly "when mommy says to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket, you say 'ok mommy' and you do it right away. If you don't, you will not have play time. Chores come first."

I hope he's not having access to electronics (iPads, phones, computers, etc). There are too many sites on there that are supposedly aimed at kids that are full of disrespectful characters, and rudeness for laughs.

When he's behaving, don't go overboard with praise. Simply continue playing with him, or going on your walk, or whatever you were doing. When he begins to act rudely, or disrespectfully, then the playtime, the interaction with you, or the adventure you're on, comes to a screeching halt.

Don't attribute a bad attitude or disrespect to ADHD. That means he may have some hyperactive moments, or some trouble focusing, or perhaps a few other similar issues. It does not mean that he's rude or can't behave or obey his mother and father and teachers and other adults in charge.

He's pulling your chain - so you jerk his.
He needs to know that his attitude/disrespect will not be tolerated and there will be consequences each and every time he pulls this nonsense.
Reward/praise him for good behavior.
Let him know that if he works with you - life can be sweet - if he works against you - life will be fairly miserable.
His perks should be constantly earned with good behavior.
If he earns none then he gets none.
Get this down now because it's setting a precedence for his teen years.
I really doubt his disrespect/attitude has to do with his ADHD - put that concept out of your mind right now.

When was he diagnosed? What steps have you taken to learn about ADHD and how to manage it? Is he on medication? For how long? Have you considered a change if it's not working? What therapies are in place to help him? What are they doing in the school to provide any needed extra services? What does his doctor say? Have you looked into any parenting support groups for general help with not listening when told to do something (which pretty much describes any kid from 2 to 17, at least a good chunk of the time). What ADD and ADHD parenting support groups have you looked into for specific help and parenting strategies?

Those are just a few of the questions it would help to know the answers to.

If this is your first child and you don't know how to handle one who doesn't listen, you're in for a long horror of a childhood and adolescence. There is plenty of help available. Reach out and ask for it in your community.

3 out of my 5 brothers have ADHD. one of 'em had kind of an attitude growing up. still does. it's his personality, not his ADHD.

even mentioning it tells me that you're trying to turn a parenting issue into a medical one.

if your 6 year old is being rude it's because he's figuring out that he can get away with it. has nothing to do with his ADHD.

khairete
S.

Keep in mind that he is 6, and some of that type of behavior is to be expected.

ADHD is a diagnosis. Just knowing that he has ADHD is just the beginning. You need to seek out ways to help him deal with ADHD. The school may have resources for you, but he may need some private therapy, also. Talk to the person who diagnosed him and find out what he may benefit from.

If there is behavior that needs to be corrected, it will likely take time. His current behavior is something he has learned throughout his 6 years. It will be a process to unlearn what he has been doing and learn better ways.

Stay positive, talk to his teachers, talk to his doctor. These are the people you need helping you figure out what to do next.

It's ridiculous when parents try to blame their child's bad behavior on their "disability." Having two severe special needs children, I have spent quite a bit of time with other parents who have kids with disabilities and I saw it all the time. "Gee, I'm sorry Bobby bit your Johnny - he has (insert disability here) so you know he really can't help it. Don't worry Bobby, it's ok that you bit Johnny - its not your fault."

Ugh . . .

What is your question? If you're looking for help on how to manage and teach him better coping skills you need to share how he was diagnosed, how he behaves at school, how he's being treated, what services he's currently receiving, etc.

It's your job as a parent to model appropriate behavior and dole out consequences when he doesn't follow it. It's so he can fit into society properly (make friends, be accepted etc) too - not just that he's a pain and people find him off-putting. Disrespecting people .. you have to curb this now, I suppose this is your question (you didn't actually ask one). More info would be helpful.

What have you done so far, what has worked, what hasn't ...

ADHD makes things a bit more complicated, etc. so you'll need to get help there, seek assistance with professionals who can help you out and guide you.

We have house rules (that also apply every where). You don't get to join in/participate if you're rude, not listening, etc. You are removed. I never did time outs exactly. The consequence was really - you don't get to be around us. This is the same consequence kids would encounter at school with kiddos, etc. They learn pretty quickly, and it's easily repeatable.

That's fairly common for a 6 year old, with or without ADHD. In general, make your rules and expectations clear. Make the consequences logical and consistent. Try to be calm and collected, even when you're peeved. You won't always succeed in that, but try to remember that as an adult you have greater control over your reactions than a 6 year old does. Before getting into an argument, think to yourself - is this worth it? If yes, then carry on. If no, let it go.

For the ADHD aspect, keep a schedule and a routine. Every school morning should be the same as all the rest, for example. Wake up, wash up, breakfast, etc in the same order all the time. Same with after school. Same with most things whenever possible.Use visual reminders that he can see, like chore charts and a paper or whiteboard calendar.

That's the at-home part of the triad. If he is not already, he also should be getting support he needs at school, including school or private therapies as needed, and appropriate medical care.

Kids act this way when they haven't been successfully taught how to manage their feelings. I suggest that you can learn a different way of managing him. For instance, to teach children to listen get down to look directly at him. Touch him on his arm or shoulder. Be sure he has his attention on you. When he runs away, remain focused on getting him to listen. Don't just say, oh well, and continue to work on your task, perhaps doing dishes. We have to stop what we're doing, remain calm and consistently teach him how to listen and do what you want him to do.

I suggest reading How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Farber.

Kids with ADHD usually have a hard time trying to hold it together in school and break down when they get home. ADHD kids are usually more spirited which is a nice word for saying tough. Yet, there is no excuse for being rude. I have worked with many parents who have 2 typical kids and have no idea how hard it is to have a child with ADHD>===Your son might be more impulsive....

Show him a video of a 6 yr old being respectful to a parent and one not. H e might need a visual.

Give him a daily chore. Make sure he is not getting more than and he or so of tv, etc....

Get him a mini trampoline with a handle and let him work out his energy. He needs to ride a bike, walk, run, etc....And he might not like to be in a group of kids after being in school all day.

He needs some routine and some chores!

See if there is a developmental pediatrician local....See if Occupational theraphy will help (Esp if he has some sensory issues). Is he developmentally delayed? He might be acting out because he can't keep up with others in school or it might be the opposite,

This is the age to set limits and get him interventions!