Infant and Toddler Sharing a Do You Do It?

Updated on March 09, 2010
A.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
7 answers

So, we live in a small home that requires my two boys to share a room. One is 6 months, the other is 3. Our little one has been using both a pack n play in our room (for naps and some nights) and his crib in the boys' room. My 3 year old LOVES to have his brother in the room with him, it just makes him so happy - it's adorable.

So here's the issue. The little guy was sleeping through the night up until about 3 weeks ago, when he got a really bad cold. Since then, he's been up once or twice a night to nurse. Once he's up, I put him back down in the pack n play in our room so that he won't wake up his big brother. I really want him to get used to his crib and be able to sleep through the night in there, but I don't feel like I can let him fuss like I normally would to see if he'd fall back asleep (usually he falls back asleep in the pack n play) because I don't want him to wake up his brother. So, I feel like I'm getting him into the habit of waking up expecting to nurse, and I don't want him to do this forever!!! So my ultimate question is: how does it work? Do you just let your infant fuss and hope the toddler doesn't wake up? Do I give up and keep the infant in with us until he sleeps through the night again?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Update: I tried letting Liam fuss is out (really he was just talking really loud at about 4am) and it didn't seem like Isaac was really waking up. Then, Liam let out a big sound, and I heard Isaac cracking up! :) It happened one more time, and I decided to get Liam up. I didn't want two babies up at 4am!!! It was cute though. I'll keep trying. I do think you're all right that a toddler can sleep through a lot!

More Answers



answers from Dallas on

A friend of mine is dealing with this same issue. For a while she was taking the baby into her room, trying to keep him from waking the toddler. Then a new problem developed. The fussy baby started waking her toddler even when he was in the other room (her 2 1/2 year old would still hear the crying through the walls of their small apartment). So then the toddler would get a little upset and jealous and she wound up with both kids in the bed with her and the hubby. Now she is working on keeping the baby in his own bed. She said it's working out much better...the baby usually doesn't wake up the toddler and when he does, her toddler will usually go back to sleep pretty quickly. GL



answers from Madison on

Our two boys just started sharing a room too and I was worried about that same thing at first. So far the little one (9 mo old) has not woken up my 2 year old when he's cried (or vice versa, like once when my 2 yr old was throwing up at night). I'd agree with the others and say let him fuss a little if you need to and don't worry too much about your toddler (unless it does become an issue for the older one). I would possibly try one of a few options - 1) pick up up but don't nurse him and then put him back down to sleep either in his crib or in the pack n play in your room at least until he starts to sleep through the night again 2) pick him up and nurse him a little, but not til he falls back asleep, then put him in either crib or pack n play awake to fall back to sleep on his own or 3) don't pick him up or nurse him, but just soothingly whisper in his ear and stroke his head and then tell him goodnight...



answers from Kansas City on

I did just put the baby down and hope his crying would not wake up the older child. Most of the time, it never did. It's amazing what kids will sleep through!



answers from Minneapolis on

I'd see if your toddler wakes. My boys have always shared a room (since the second was about 6 months) and my older boy never really woke when the baby did. Granted I usually went in and patted his back or rocked him back to sleep, but the older always slept right through the disruption.

Try and see, you might be surprised that your other child sleeps right through it.




answers from Denver on

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a 4 year old boy and twin daughters who are 16 mo. We also live in a small house and all the kids have to share a room........ not exactly ideal, but we do what we have to. I was worried about my toddler waking up also everytime the girls cried out, but he actually sleeps through most of it and it doesnt seem to really bother him. I do have to admit though that because of this situation, I dont let my girls cry that long...but even for the period that they are crying, it doesnt seem to bother him at all. When my girls were first brought home from the hospital, they shared a crib in our room, but when they got bigger and needed their own cribs (around 3 months) we moved them into his room.
I think it also helps that we run a fan/heater in their room at night, so they are all use to some type of noise- that could be why the crying doesnt really disturb them.

I hope this helps, good luck!!



answers from Kansas City on

We put our girls in the same room when the younger one went in the crib. Our older one actually started sleeping better through the night once the baby was in her room. The baby crying rarely woke up the toddler and when it did, she would go back to sleep. They get used to it and learn to tune it out. There were nights that they were both up but that is going to happen no matter what. Don't worry so much about the toddler. If the baby does wake up the toddler at first, then snuggle the toddler for a few minutes. Train the baby to sleep better so that you can all sleep better.


answers from St. Louis on

I moved my now six month old from a cosleeper in our room into a crib in his sister's room about a month ago. Since then, my daughter (2.5 years old) who used to wake a few times a night, has started sleeping through the night. Not sure if it's because she knows he's in there with her or what?

My son wakes up anywhere between 1-4 times a night. Usually I'll nurse him 1-2x (he'll usually fall back asleep after nursing on one side) then if he's up a third time, I'll put him in bed with me because I'm just tired!!

That being said, even when he cries, fusses, etc, my daughter DOES not wake up - which is very surprising to me. I nurse my son in their bedroom (he usually stops fussing or crying) but if he continues, I take him out either to the living room or our bedroom. But I don't mind letting him cosleep with us some times, so that works for us (we did this with our daughter for the first two years).

Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions