Looking for Advice on Room Sharing

My two boys (almost two years apart) have been sharing a room at night since the younger one was about 6 months old (the boys are now 2 and 4). However, I have never attempted to have them nap together. I don't know for sure, but I doubt it would work. I think they'd just play or talk. I put one of them down in a Pack n' Play in my bedroom and the other in their own bedroom. Now that my older one can be trusted not to fall off the couch (and now that he recognizes when he is tired and actually wants to take a nap), he sleeps on the couch when he naps (not every day), and the 2-year-old gets to use their bedroom.

My advice would be to start them off sharing the room at night rather than for naps because nighttime is when we sleep more soundly and are less likely to wake up. If we do wake up, we're more likely to fall back asleep. I know if one of my kids wakes up from a nap (because of a poopy diaper, sudden stop of the car, loud noise, etc.), even if the nap was much too short, there is no chance he is going to go back to sleep, however much he might need to.

Another thing to keep in mind is that, at only 3 months, your baby probably doesn't actually need a separate room for a nap. I have a 5-month-old who currently takes his naps in various places in the afternoon. Right now he's in his cosleeper in my bedroom, but often he sleeps on the changing table or a blanket on the floor. He probably won't need a separate space for a couple of months yet. Right now he just doesn't notice any distractions. I had both of my older sons nap in noisy environments when they were babies, and now they're both really good sleepers -- it takes a lot to wake them up (even though the middle one started out as a light sleeper, but I guess we got him used to noises).

When it gets time to move your kids to the same room at night, you might be surprised at how easy it is. I was nervous about it because my middle son did not sleep through the night yet, and he cries really loudly and persistantly. But my older son hardly ever woke up, and if he did, he always went right back to sleep. Now that both boys are talking and like to chat at night, we find it useful to put them to bed at different times (which works well when only one of them has napped -- the 4-year-old is ready for bed first).

Just wanted to pipe in with what seems to working for my family at this point..I have a 27 mth old and a 6 mth old, right about the same ages of your little ones I started putting them in the same room together as well. So far it seems to be working well.

Although the 6 mth old is far from sleeping "well" he's still up every 3 hrs or so, and he's a screamer.. So I put him down first for the night around 7:30ish, and the toddler goes to bed from an 1hr to 45 minutes later. When the baby wakes up which is usually about 3 hours later I end up just bringing back to the bedroom with me..

It works out great, it gets them use to each others sounds, but its not jeopardizing my toddlers sleep. I probably could get the baby back down in the bedroom one more time without my tot waking up, but I find if he's really cranky or fighting it, I end up bringing him in the room with me anyway so I haven't bothered yet. In a couple months we plan on fully moving them in the room together, once the toddler's weaned from the binkie and I wean the baby down on some night time feedings..Give it a shot, I was surprised so far even with the baby screaming when he wakes up I haven't had any problems with the toddler waking up..

I should note though, even in the car when they are side by side and 2yr old is asleep and his brother is screaming on the top of his lungs he doesn't budge. Don't know if that's an honest gage of how it'll work for you, but maybe that could give you somewhat of an idea of how they'd do together!!

Oh ya as for the toddler waking the baby, it did happen a lot at first, but then we found if I gave him his binkie before we entered the room he didn't make as much noise, and for the 20-30 minutes it takes for him to wind down, we always have had their "bed time" music playing along with a loud hepa filter and sound machine... So far unless the toddler starts really talking the baby has not been woken up!! knock on wood.

I had my sons together from alsmost day one, 4 years apart. my baby got use to the noise of big brother and my odler one learned to sleep through the baby babbling and crying......Now i jsut put them to bed about 45 min apart, assuring baby is sleeping before big brohter comes in. Works quite nice.

Do they have to room share? Or can you wait until they are both older?

Yes, 21 months old, they do not have full impulse control developed yet. And he has HIS routines/patterns for sleep/naps. He can't then change it... at will. Each child being different.

If you can, keep baby in your room, until they are both older. That is what we did with our kids.
I did not expect my daughter to sleep well... with baby around near her. They are 4 years apart.

And, a baby, will have varying changes in sleep.. and wakings, and crying and feeding needs, and teething and so forth. So, it will not be constant, and a baby will still need you... and you would have to go into their room, to get baby etc. If they share a room.

And with a young toddler... you need to make sure he doesn't go and touch her/swat her/play with her while she is sleeping or while in the crib. He'd need supervision.. he can't "babysit" nor know all that. (not saying you expect this of him, just a side effect of what can happen with a busy toddler boy).

I know many people put a child and baby in the same room. But for me... I did not. I just wanted my older daughter to sleep well... and not have to have sleep problems because of her baby brother, nor to wake because of it.
I also had to tell my daughter, that baby WILL wake anytime, and that i have to nurse him. BUT, that she is not responsible for his cries/wakings and that is Mommy's "job." Because, she would "worry" when her baby brother woke/cried at night.

Once they got older... then my kids do nap at the same time. But this was much later. Until that point, they had staggered nap/bedtimes....until I got them both coordinated at the same time. And me being Mommy, just did what I had to.

All the best.
Susan

My boys are 23 months apart and share a room. I use the pack 'n play in my bedroom for my younger sons naps. They just seem to do better at night than at naptime in one room. Good luck with your little ones!