How to Get Rid of the Binky.

My daughter is 20months and we just got rid of her pacifier about 4 weeks ago. We had limited it only to crib use from about 6 months of age and she also sleeps with a blanky. We told her her paci had to go to a baby who needed it (she is very into declaring that she is NOT a baby herself). the first few nights were rough getting to sleep but by night 4 she is doing fine. She wake us closer to 6AM now, she was sleeping until 7AM... although now I think she must have been lying in her crib awake with the pacifier, as she is not more tired with the earlier waking, but with her mouth free she calls for us earlier!

Sometimes she points to her mouth or says "Paci?" and we ask her where her paci is and she shouts "Baby!!!" and does not seem at all upset. She has adjusted far better than I would have thought. She was very attached!

when my son was 2 1/2, we put it on the cookie plate for Santa. We talked a lot about how Santa could give it to a little baby that needed it - just like Santa gives toys to little boys. He only fussed about it for about 5 minutes the following night & we never heard about it again. Good luck =O}

Hi K.,

I went through this with my daughter, who will be 5 in August. We let her have the paci only for sleeping, and when very upset. At 3, I was worried that I was letting her have it too long and, after reading the story about the "Binky Fairy" on these boards some time ago, I started to warn her that, at some point, the paci would be going to a little baby who needed it. Still, I let it go on because it really seemed that she wouldn't sleep without it, and just like your son, she would wake up crying any time she couldn't locate during the night. So, when she was 4, we came back from a cross country trip and, this is the honest truth, the first night home she dropped somewhere behind/in the bed---and we COULDN'T find it! Obviously, it had to be somewhere, but for the life of me, I couldn't see it and neither could my husband. Well, she cried a little bit, but since I had been "warning" her for so long, she accepted it better, and that was the last of it. One other part is, like the tooth fairy, I told her that she would get a gift, so she would ask about what kind of gift was she going to get, what does the fairy look like, does she talk, etc...? In our case, along with her new toy, I even wrote a little note on a decorated card that was from the fairy and told her how proud of her she was.

I'm sorry this is so long, but there is hope! For about a week or 2 she would still ask for it at bedtime and I would remind her about the fairy and I haven't heard about it since. I don't know if your son is still a little young to get all of this, but I was amazed how really simple it ended up for us!

Good luck!

Our daughter, too was addicted to her binky. We had the same arrangement as you when she was allowed to have her binky. But then the "Binky Fairy" came and took 1-2 binkies each night until all of them where gone. Of course, there was an elaborate story each night about the Binky Fairy and when/if she would come and how many she would take. Our daughter was not happy about it... more like tolerated it. We maybe had one night or so where she had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. It was much easier on us because she could be mad at the Binky Fairy and not us. It went much smoother than I thought. The Binky Fairy didn't leave any goodies behind but that is an option, too.

Good Luck and remember, this too shall pass....until the next trial and tribulation.LOL

R.

When my son was 2, the dentist said get rid of the binky because it was already causing some issues with his mouth, and it was an "orthodontic" binky. I couldn't bring myself to do it and waited until he was 3. Well, now he is going to need corrective devices when his older molars come in because his pallet didn't form correctly. SO, YES get rid of the binky. Go cold turkey. It sucks, but we did it and so can you. Yes, there were tears for awhile but they stopped after a week or so. The first few days were the hardest. I prepared him for it by telling him that on Friday ( I did friday so the sleep issue was on a weekend at least) we are saying BYE BYE BINKIE. He traded his binkie for a fish. I told him everyday that Friday was bye bye binkie day and we were getting a fish. He would repeat to me that friday was bye bye binkie day. I told him over and over and made sure that I told him he wouldn't have a binkie anymore because he was a big boy. Come Friday, we went to the petstore. He gave the lady at the fish store his binkies in a bag in exchange for his fish. Friday night at bedtime he wanted his binkie back and to send the fish back! LOL! I just spent some extra time rocking and soothing him, yes it was tough. In the long run it's worth it. I wish I would have listened to the dentist when he was 2. Good Luck to you all.

This is always a controversial topic. My position is just that whatever seems to work for you and your child is the right thing. My older daughter was very dependent on her binky. We did not allow it out of her crib but we would let her go into her bed for a "binky break" (usually a couple of times/week at most) if she really needed it. She kept it until she turned four. I talked about it with her pediatric dentist who said it was not proved that pacifier use caused orthodontic problems later, but he said "it's easier to fix teeth than psyches", meaning it wasn't worth traumatizing her over it. We did a big build up to the 4th birthday b/c we could tell she was really about ready, and after she turned four we told her she was too old now, and she got rid of it without protest and with pride. So far (she's 9) her teeth are fine, but her current dentist says she'll probably need braces at some point just because her mouth is small (not to mention that both of her parents needed braces!). I feel good that we didn't push her before she was ready. Good luck with whatever you choose.

As a former Binky addict, I feel for your son! I was so old that when I was "ready" to give it up, I told my mother to "go ahead and give it to Mr. Virgili" (the name of our garbage man--I was old enough to know him and his name ! LOL)

I really like Suzie's advice for several reasons. First, it's gradual, and second, it will help to create a "comfort object (animal, blanky, etc.) that is proven to be a VERY good thing for kids, especially boys.

Good luck!

I think he's too young. Imagine being trapped in a crib, in the dark, all night. Wouldn't you want something to comfort yourself with? No kid ever walked down the aisle with a binky in his or her mouth... he'll give it up when he's ready.

That having been said, if you are really ready to get rid of it, i think you'll have to go cold turkey. He's probably too little to understand the Pacifier Fairy. When they are 3, I think that is a good way to get rid of the binky, esp. if you know a new baby.

with both of my girls, i thought it was going to be IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of it!
but for both, I just took it away around their second birthday, and when they asked i said "It's all gone!" and I'd shrug. they were a little upset, but they accepted it.
Just stick with it, and within a few days, he will be ok. You can try to give him something else to comfort him, if that will help.... a special blanky or a stuffed animal.

I know that there is a risk of tooth problems, etc with extended use of a binky, but if you are using an orthodontic one and it is NOT causing any issues with his teeth, maybe it's not such a big deal. I also know that this is probably a "hot button" issue, but I am a firm believer in if it's not broke (and/or causing negative effects) don't fix it! :)
He is pretty young still, so if he's not ready then maybe you could wait a little longer. They go through so much in the first year with losing things, bottles, sometimes weaning, teething, etc., that that little bit of extra comfort may really help out!
If you do decide to wait, maybe when he is a little older and can understand, you could give the binks to the binky fairy, leave them for Santa or the Easter Bunny, or attach them to balloons so babies who need them can have them! That's a fun and interactive way to get rid of ALL the binks at once!
My son is 14mos., and I made the mistake of forgetting I had an emergency bink in the diaper bag at a pedi appt., so of course right before the doc came in he saw it and HAD to have it!! He was sick, so I let him. MISTAKE! :) The dr. told me they really shouldn't use them after 1 year because they will start to view them as "possessions instead of comfort". Then told me many people have told him stories of binkies hidden all over the house. So just don't tell them he is still using one!
That's just my own opinion of course! And my son does the same thing, bedtime, naptime, etc. And after he falls asleep it drops out of his mouth and that's it unless he wakes up. Good luck! :)

It was interesting to see all of the differing opinions stemming from very diverse parenting philosophies. On one hand you have parents say, "Let him have it, what's the harm?" or my favorite, "not to deny himself of what feels good to him throughout his life"(not the best message for boys, don't you think?!). On the other hand you have parents who have been through this and have suffered the real and PROVEN consequences of having orthodontic repercussions (it ain't just genetics, people!!)

You can probably tell where I would stand on this continuum. WE know what's best for our children, they don't. Would anyone hear who said, "let him have it" allow their child to (let's say) go to kindergarden in diapers because they were "afraid" to parent? No, I don't think so. As much as I don't like "abrupt" parenting techniques (CIO, etc) perhaps there can be a middle ground.

So how about finding a more benign comfort object and do a less traumatic transition? Go out together and pick out a really soft teddy or something ("Gunds" are super soft). Even at your local thrift store (make sure you can wash it in hot water before bringing it home). Start including his new "buddy" into your bedtime routine (during storytime and snuggles). Give him a name and make him a part of the family! Have him snuggle with him at night WITH his binky initially. Then, once a bond is established, start phasing out the binky in chunks, with going to bed with being the last one to go. The "new" comfort object will become the preferred method to sooth.

Now, some might say, "Well, that's swapping one "crutch" for another"! To them I would politely point out that a teddy bear is age appropriate, a binky is not (the American Pediatric Association recommends ditching them at one year, preferably 6 months). This is also a gentler method, while respecting his need for comfort also establishes that there are transitions in life and that we aren't resigned to a life of bowing to hedonism and what "feels good".

That's my two cents! lol Hope it helps, but take everything I say with a grain of salt...a lot is being driven by pregnancy hormones! ;)

Get rid of it...cold turkey! Throw them all in the garbage at the same time. And don't keep one lying around "just in case." Most little ones will not give the bink up on their own...I see so many 3, 4, and 5 year olds walking around in public with that bink hanging out of their mouth. It looks rediculous. Plus, it's bad for their teeth and could cause them to look messed up...Ask any dentist.

Please forgive my bluntness here... I truly don't mean to be rude at all - whatever you decide is the right choice... but my advice is to just let him have it. who really cares if he needs it until he is 6? it obviously soothes him... he'll give it up when he is ready. It's so beautiful that little ones can soothes themselves, and know what they need... I say honor that and encourage it... he'll get to know himself better and learn not to deny himself of what feels good to him throughout his life.

I agree with all the posters that are supporting your decision to get rid of his binky, for many reasons that I don't need to reiterate. The most gradual suggestion that I've heard - I will add a caveat that we did not try this, but it came from someone I consider to be a very reliable source - is to shorten it each night. I was told that you can just use a knife to cut a sliver off of it each day. Each individual reduction is too small for him to notice, but the overall effect is to get to the point where there is nothing left for him to suck. You may have to use a nail file to soften any rough spots, but it sounds like a very reasonable compromise to me. Good luck with whatever mthod (or combination of mthods) that you decide to try~

Hi K.,

I am in the same exact situation, except my son is 3!!!!!!! So don't feel bad. :) I also have a daughter 20 months and I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my third. My daughter uses a binky , but isn't as attached to it as my son ever was. I now have to decide if its better to suffer through the screaming now (before #3 arrives) or hope he just grows out of it on his own. I feel bad b/c he'll have to see my daughter with hers.

Have you ever watched Super Nanny....she uses the binky fairy method. Tells the child the binky fairy comes and takes the binky to another small child who needs it and leaves a prize. Thats always an option.

But I think I am just going to let my son grow out of it. I don't have the heart or energy to go through all that right now.

I think that he is too young. If this is his comfort, why take it away? It really doesn't do damage like people seem to think to their teeth, if he is only using it at night.

Hi K.
As hard as it might be, if you really want him to lose the bink you need to plan for a couple tough nights. I would start on a Friday so you will have the weekend. It should only (hopefully!) take a couple nights. He will be fine, I promise. Any stress from this will not have any lasting effect. What will have a lasting effect is the damage that it will do to his teeth...my oldest had the binky until 3 because I was afraid to take it from him. His teeth at 7 are ridiculously messed up and will most certainly require considerable orthodontia. I wish I would have take the binky away sooner. Good luck to you!

My opinion is to let him keep it. He will give it up on his own at some point, my son was 3 when he decided he didn't need his anymore. We had done the same thing with limiting it to bedtime and that way he wasn't walking around trying to talk around it, it was one of his bedtime comforts. I don't understand people putting themselves and their kids through the stress of it. I know some will argue the orthodontics side of the issue, but there are binky using kids out there who will never need orthodontics and non-binky using kids who will. Seem more of a genetic issue to me. Good luck!

Hi K.,
When my son just about to turn two, he's six now, we actually were at the mall to see the Easter Bunny and he gave it to the Easter Bunny to give to other little children who don't have any. It was hard the first few nights but he got over it.
Good Luck,
E.

h e is still so young why get rid of comfort.Each child is different. Some need more comfort. My son never liked it but took forever to get him off the bottle.My son is now 14 and up until he was 11yrs old his teeth were very straight , then they became a mess and he ended up in braces. You can not alaways control nature.

I learned witht the first child about the binnky. Throw it away and be done with it. The first child because of the binnky had to have braces and the second and third i got rid of it and they were fine. There are going to be nights with crying but it is better than buying braces.
good luck
T.

Hi K.,
I always had the attitude that the binky would never make it to Kindergarten...Peer pressure, even at this early age, would be a positive factor in my child's life, if need be. Therefore I was able to NOT stress about the binky. My daughter loved her binky...Slept with it, talked with it...it was in her mouth nonstop. She would have left it in while eating if I would have let her! We kept a few in her crib so she would be able to find one if it fell out of her mouth in the night.
When my daughter was 3 we made a big deal about getting rid of the binky....she was a big girl and the binky was for little babies. By this time she was able to understand more...more so than a 2 yr old. We made a plan to collect all our binkies and give them to the garbage man. We talked about this for 2 weeks and then went outside when the trash man came and gave them to him in a bag. My daughter helped collect ALL of them and then she handed them to the trash man herself. By helping to collect them and giving them to him herself, she knew they were gone. She was so proud of herself at that moment and for quite awhile after that! She really was fine after that. We had no issues!!
If you don't have a problem with the binky, give it some more time...until he is older and can be a part of getting rid of it.
I also had a thumb sucker...didn't worry about that either...it resolved itself once he was old enough to help end the problem.
They grow up so fast...if they find comfort in something as little as a binky or thumb...don't worry...the habit will not last forever.
Good luck!