Getting Rid of Binkies. Sigh.

my daughter was about 3 and her brother just got a new big boy bike and she wanted one too. I told her she had to throw away all her nuks and she could go pick out a little pretty bike just for herself. She was so excited at this and threw them in the trash. We went and bought her a 20.00 bike and put the trash bag in the big gross trash can in the garage. She wasn't too happy that night and a few days after she tried to trade in her bike but the nuks were just too ucky from the trash. She was fine after that and never asked again. Here we are now and she is 8 and is getting an expander put in her mouth because her bite is off kilter from the damn nuk.

I didn't use a "fairy", we just had her bag them all up and take them somewhere (not at home, but at a pre-arranged store) and she (herself) exchanged her bag of binkies for a bag of toys of her choosing.

On her 2nd birthday.

It was the bakery at the store where I had ordered her birthday cake. I had gotten into a conversation with the clerk/baker, and she suggested bringing her in to exchange then for some of the cake topper kits. Daughter settled on something Dora and a Winnie The Pooh/Piglet teeter-totter, if I recall correctly.

Easy peasy. No crying. She did this herself (made the exchange, handed over the bag--actually, she dumped them out of the bag into a huge trash bin at the end of the bakery counter). I think it was empowering for her.

She was quite proud walking out of the store with her ziploc bag of goodies she had chosen herself.

She asked about them maybe once... and I reminded her gently that she had exchanged them for the toys. She was satisfied, and that was that. The rest of the bedtime routine went on normally and there was no problems whatsoever.

She actually found one months later (that we had missed) under her bed (hidden near the wall and behind the bedskirt under her toddler bed). She came down the hallway with it in her mouth, showing it to me. I said not a word (except to ask where it came from). Found it about 10 minutes later abandoned on a bench near the front door.
Picked it up, put it up in a cabinet way in the back. The end. Never even asked me about it.

--
It probably helped that she was totally in love with her stuffed animal lovey.

My first action was watching my addict like a hawk & every time the bink was dropped or put down I would nonchalantly pick it up. Out of sight out of mind was my biggest allie!!! The "habit" part falls off VERY QUICKLY this way. Eventually you will feel the "need" from them to have it wane & then you pounce! Bye Bye Binky!

~My nephew was THE WORST addict & he lost his out the car window on a road trip & my sister jumped on the opportunity & it was over.

It's not as hard to take away something that is already gone. Just a thought.

My kid never liked pacifiers (although sometimes I wish I could have just put one in his mouth and soothed him), so no personal experience.

My BIL and SIL live in Copenhagen. There are binky trees there, where kids hang their binkies when they are ready to be big kids. It's a big deal.

http://www.denmark-pictures.com/the-pacifier-tree.html

Best,
F. B.

I've heard a lot of parents have good results with The Binky Fairy. All the binkies get put in a box, and in the morning the box is replaced by The Binky Fairy with a beautiful gift box containing something truly special.

The Binky Fairy "brings the binkies to the babies who need them."

I suggest the night you do this be the night before garbage day...so the box of binkies you put in the outside trash bin are hauled away and never seen again.

ETA: I guess I ought to mention what I did. With the first, he had the binky until he was almost 2. They were suddenly all "lost." Never did find them. We had a couple of difficult days as he searched for them, but they were eventually forgotten.

With the second, I tossed them all when we switched from the bottle to the sippy cup. Lost those ones too. Go figure. It was MUCH easier at 10 months to lose them than it was with the 2 year old.

Only one of four were addicted. I tried all those ideas that made it so "easy". Did not work. Finally threw them all away and went cold turkey. Not fun but it did work.

my older just accepted only getting it at bedtimes, and by 3 or so just quit using it. lucky for me!
my younger was a thumb kid. i never sweated that either. i suspect it was peer pressure at daycare that got him to give it up. or he just did.
if i'd have had a kid who was tougher than mine were, i'd probably have tried the snip-a-bit-off method. i like the notion of it becoming unappealing rather than deprivation.
khairete
S.

I did it slowly, but to be honest she really didn't use it other than for sleeping. I told her that we were going to start to change it since she was such a big girl (I also did it at 3 years old, but started a few months before). First we made sure it was only allowed at nap and bed time or when sitting on the couch. If she wanted it, she had to either be in bed or she could have it sitting on the couch (no t.v. though). Then went to just bedtime. Then I just kind of stopped giving it unless she asked. Then I just said, "Nope. We are all done with binkies!" It went smoother than I thought.

Does your daughter have another "lovey" though? My daughter has a blanky and so I think that helped. If her only lovey was her binky I think it would have been harder.

My first two kids both took one - sometimes all day, sometimes just at bedtime. Around 2-2.5 years old we decided to get rid of them. I don't remember exactly how we did it only that we talked to them about getting rid of them. We didn't mail them away, we didn't do a binky fairy, we didn't give them to anyone. We just told them they were gone and no more because they were a big boy/girl and didn't need them. The first few nights were hard at bedtime - crying and asking for it - but we gently reminded them that they were too big for one anymore and offered to rub their back. After day 2-3, they no longer asked about it or when they did and we told them they were too big, they said ok and went to sleep. I HONESTLY believe that getting rid of it is MUCH harder on the parents. The idea that you are tearing your baby's beloved item away from their clutching grasps, kicking and screaming, scarring them for life. But seriously...it will be easier than you think (hopefully!). I have a 17 month old now who loves his day and night so I'll be going through this in the next year as well! Let's just hope my input and wisdom from the first two work on him. LOL Good luck mama.....You can do this!!!

I had to have my daughter go cold turkey and not just dropping it into the trash (it always found its way back out), but I flushed it down the toilet with her watching.

She freaked out for a day or two but she is now 8 and binky free.

My daughter was just over 4 when I did this because it had gone on too long. I wouldn't suggest this for babies under two (JMO).

I only have 1 child and 1 experience... Around Christmas as she was about to turn 2, she gave it to Santa.

However, she was more attached to her little silk blanket than anything and kept it under her pillow for YEARS until a housekeeper saw it, thought it was a rag and threw it out. I hated that because it was the original from birth, oh well.

She is 20 now and seems to have adjusted pretty well without the blanket, she still loves her satin pillowcases though!

I dreaded it and put it off forever with my eldest. He was so bad he kept a spare on him. I think he was close to three years old.

He went off to daycare and I sent his soothers with him and they told me he didn't need it during the day - he was fine, too busy playing. I was shocked. But he still had one at naptime.

So at home, I just tried to make them more unavailable to him. He still loved them at home - he would even pop his brother's out of his mouth if he misplaced his own.

One day I just had enough. I don't know what it was but I thought I have to do this. So I put them away in the cupboard. He asked for it once and I said "sorry, they are broken. All gone".

He seemed to accept this. And that was the only time he asked.

I had no clue it would be that easy. I think going down in stages probably helped. I did the same with my other kids when it was their turns. None had been quite as addicted as my eldest, but honestly I think I kind of pushed them on him. I always had them out, whereas with my younger kids, I used them just as needed.

Hope that helps! I've have friends give the binkies away to the new baby across the street kind of thing and that seems to work too.

It was far worse for me (the lead up) than actually doing it. And he seemed unfazed, which was the last reaction I expected.

Good luck!

I totally agonized over it the first time, and had all this guilt about waiting too long, etc etc. Then I just went cold turkey with a visit from the Baba fairy (that's what we called it). It was done.

The second time I didn't get worked up, because I had the perspective from the first experience. yeah, there was a day or two of missing it, her wanting it and me having to say no and remind why... but once it was over, it was over, NBD. Like potty training. Once it is in the past, it is IN THE PAST. So it just felt like, "whatever, I'll just take it away one day when I decide to..."

I do think the whole "binkie fairy" thing helps. Just because then there is a concrete item as a reminder of why the binkies are no more. "remember, we gave your binkies to the new babies, and the fairy left you this stuffed Elsa doll to cuddle at night like the big girls do!!"

Good luck. It'll be fine. My girls got over pretty quick. Though one of them now chews the erasers off every pencil in the house and loooves to put things in her mouth to this day.

I don't know L.....try the paci fairy idea?

I'm just floored that your baby is 3!!!

Each situation is different. Do what is right for you and your family. This is what worked for our son:

He was 2 years, 3 months, and still used it at night, but that was about it. His younger sister had never taken to one, so the ones we had in the house were just for him. I mentioned to my dad while he was visiting that I wanted him to be done with it sooner than later, and definitely before summer. The next day while my son was at daycare, my dad took them all and threw them out. My son asked for it that night at bedtime, and my dad told him he was a big boy and didn't need it any more. There was a couple minutes of questions (where they went, could we buy new ones?), and then he went to sleep. That was that - never an issue again. I think we had been making a bigger deal about it than it really was - making it harder on him. My dad simply taking them away and then telling him why was so easy.

I can honestly say now that I wish we had done it earlier. My son has some speech issues due to an "open bite" that can be caused by too much pacifier. We obviously don't know if that is the ultimate cause of it, but had we known then what we know now, we would have done it long before when we finally did it.

My youngest took to binkies like a duck to water. At around 2 we had had enough so we staged a binkie loss. Going cold turkey or bartering with my son was never going to work. It's just not his temperment. He only accepts what he has no choice except to live with. Thus, my husband devised a way to lose the binkie in front of our son. My husband rides around our property with our boys on the tractor. While out on one of these tractor rides, he theatrically dropped the binkie right in front of the boys and ran it over. It was a rough hour after the loss and he persisted in asking for his binkies for the next month. We just kept reminding him he'd lost it on the tractor and we made up these wild stories about how the baby deer were using the binkies now. He bought it but would ask very regularly about it nonetheless. It was horribly painful the day of and right after the incident. However, he was tired the first night he never really asked for his binkie. After that he asked about it but never pushed too hard. I'm glad we did what we did and yanked off the bandaids. Good luck whatever you do.

We got rid of the binkie around 2 or 2.5. I remember she had the good green ones that roll and at night she'd throw them and would cry until we gave her another well when she started to nap without it and then threw it that night I said no more and threw away everybsingle one away I could find... little stinker had a binkie or two hidden in every room of the house. I'd take it from her and tell her no more or wait until she put it down and then I took it. The first couple nights were hard but she did fine

My son (firstborn) never took to pacifiers, however his little sister LOVED them. We ended up breaking the habit cold turkey when she was almost 2 because we were going to Tanzania (my husband's home country) and she was going to be in his home village for 6 weeks. With all the dust and grunge around, it would be a sanitary/health nightmare to have something she was carrying around in her mouth. I was in the city when my husband did the deed, so I can't tell you exactly how it went, however from what my in-laws said, there were several hours of crying wails and then she accepted the reality and was fine. She actually found a couple lying around the house when we got back to the US after two months and sucked on one very briefly, but much to my relief, she didn't get attached to it again and I could just toss it in the trash when she wasn't looking.

Christy L.'s idea sounds like a really good one. Maybe a special doll or stuffed animal or blanket would be a nice replacement? Something she can snuggle and has a comfortable feel to it?

Good luck with the process! Remember that I bet you have never seen a kid going to kindergarten with a pacifier, so she WILL make the transition some time.

If she uses it all the time you might want to consider that she still needs it. If she still needs to suck and you take away what she sucks she might just find something else. Like a finger or a thumb.

Just putting in a little bit of the maybe what's behind her needing it. My daughter sucked her finger when I took her off the bottle because she still needed to suck. A friends child would suck what ever clothes she had one or her blankets in bed.

If she really needs it then taking it away isn't such a big deal. Our dentist said they do a lot worse damage to the teeth than a thumb or finger or other items can do.

Three is well old enough to say "Binkies are for bed" and only let her have it if she is on her bed. She wants it during the day? She has to sit on her bed. Mine were so bored being in their room alone when the rest of us were out having fun doing stuff in the rest of the house that my kids would put it under their pillow and run out to see what they were missing. Usually they would join us, some times they went back and sat on their bed. They soon realized it was much more fun to be out with the rest of the family, and then usually forgot they wanted the paci at all. When they remembered it, they could go have some soothing moments on their bed sucking on it, but they were not allowed to leave the bed with it. It was a huge first step in weaning them off of it.

Mine was around 3 when the binky fairy came.

I think he woke up from a nap, played, and then I told him about all the new babies that needed binkies, especially now that he was a big boy.

Gathered them all, put them in a fancy bag in the closet (no idea why the closet), explained that the binky fairy would come if he was a big enough boy to leave them behind, and left to do errands. When we got back the bag was gone, but a nice surprise for him :-).

We of course did this over a long weekend when dad was home to help. He missed it for about 3 nights.

Definitely have an active day or two to make sure she is tired.

We turned his favorite one (in good shape) into a Christmas ornament :-).

You can do this momma, just plan it right.

I himmed and hawed for months before just finally doing it.

I went with the binky fairy all three times. None of them were thrilled, not even when they saw the prize from the fairy. It was a rough transition for a few days to a week. They all gave up napping since they wouldn't go to sleep without the nuks. The good thing about that was they were then so tired at bedtime that they fell asleep pretty easily. Just stick it out and it will be over in a few days!

My daughter is three. We're down to just at night in bed, but I've been wondering what's the least stressful way to end the binky love too! She really loves it at night in bed. Just soothing and comfortable to drift off to sleep with. She is my only binky lover - so I've never had to end it before!

I love the binky tree idea! What a S. rite of passage.

Nothing to add except encouragement -- good luck, mama! :)

My first was about 20 months, the paci broke at daycare and they said "me me all gone" and he took a nap great.. We did the same thing that night.. The first night was tough, but then it got easier.. About two weeks later he started climbing out of his crib that began the 3 year battle of bed.

My second.. Well, um .. well we took it away at 3 she was away from it for 5 days and none of us slept. I work full time. Well, she has it back and we are waiting for the right time to pull the "plug". Which I think will not be until after our vacation as we are flying.. Maybe we will "forget" them in Fl.. We will see.

Good Luck.

The site is not working correctly, so I can't post the link here, but One Step Ahead makes a pacifier weaning system for $20. I haven't used it yet, but plan to have it in hand by May for our girl's 2 birthday. Her OT wants it gone already because of language development, but little girl will not soothe any other way right now. We're working on transitioning her to a blanket lovey like big brother's but she still "needs" her binkie. The weaning system gets great review on One Step's website.

She could give it to the Easter Bunny.

If there is a store or mall in your area try to pre-arrange the event. Ask the manager to talk to the 'Easter Bunny' about having your daughter come in and give her binky to Easter Bunny. Have Easter Bunny assure her it will go to a new baby who really needs a binky.

I said I was going to make my daughter get rid of her pacifier at age 3 but then I caved. She just seemed to reeeeeeeaaaally need it at night. So, the new rule became she can only have it for sleeping. It seemed to be an easy transition for her bc she did not use it much during the day. Then for a couple months before she turned 4 we talked often about how 4 year olds do not use pacifiers and that she had to stop sleeping with it. It was very upsetting to her. We just kept talking about it all the time...pointing out her best friends who did not use one, they are for babies not big kids, etc. Finally right before she turned 4 she decided she was going to give her paci to the paci-fairy and the paci-fairy was going to leave her a special gift in it's place. So one night I made the switch and she got a pretty wrapped present of a stuffed horse she really wanted. Then the hell began. For the next month every night was torture. The crying, sobbing, anger, sadness were all awful. I just steeled myself for it every night. I rubbed her back. I praised her. I reminded her every night that she could do it...that she HAD done it the night before. I had utmost patience. Every night bedtime took so long and was filled with drama and tears. Then slowly she got used to it and was fine. I REALLY wish I had gotten rid of the paci at age 3! I have to say I am so glad I don't have to do that again. Be strong. Just do it!