How Do I Ween My 11 Month Old from My Bed??

This is tough, but it is doable! My advice would be to start slowly. She will cry, like she did last night, but stay gentle but firm. Nap her in her pen in your room, if she still naps. Love her, hug her and kiss her when it is bed time, but be insistant that she go in her own "bed" (her pen) when it is bed time. She is going to push the limits and prob pitch a fit, but once she sees that mom and dad are insistant that she do that and she knows and feels that she is still loved, she will eventually figure out that its ok to sleep by herself! Unfortunately it will prob mean a few nights with little sleep, but it is worth it for all involved. One thing I would encourage you to do is begin spending time with her during the day PLAYING with her in her own room to get her used to the idea of being in there and having fav corners she likes to hang out in. She'll figure out that its fun having her own space!

Hang in there! I hope that this helps!
C. p

I would say just be persistant. You will lose some sleep but if you want her out of your bed then that's what it will take. I am having the same issue with my 13 month old. I love having my kids sleep with me, but I get up early in the morning to go to work and leaving her in my bed is not an option. I too have pulled in the portable crib into my room. I have made the portable crib real comfy for her. I've padded it with 3 blankets and covered those with the crib sheet so it feels like my bed. I bring one of her blankets to bed with me and when I'm ready to transfer her to the crib, I snugly wrap her and transfer her over. She lasts in there for about 5 hours now, but at first it was only an hour. Soon, it will be all night! Wow! Can't beleive it takes so little to make me happy these days!! LOL!! Oh...I can't stand for my little one to cry so I do pick her up and put her back in my bed. When she's good and asleep, I try again.

Short answer: just do it. Start putting him/her to bed in their own bed. Make it a big deal, like they're such a big girl/boy they get to sleep in their OWN place! If they get up, tell them once that it's time to go to bed and put them back. Every time they get back up after that, don't say a word, just put them back. The first week or so will be hell, but it is well worth it. In the end they will have a sense of independence and you will have the bed to yourself! The last thing anyone wants/needs is a 5 year old in the bed, and that is EXACTLY what will happen if you don't nip this in the bud! Putting the playpen in your room is no better than her being in your bed. Get a good monitor- they even make video cameras now for monitors. She needs to get used to being away from you at some point... this is a good opportunity. She WILL cry, but it's ok for her to cry. That's the only way she can truly communicate right now. YOU have to be patient and consistent and not give in. It WILL stop. If she cries herself to sleep, so be it. If she cries till she throws up, so be it. I promise it WILL stop!

Hope that helps!

M.

My husband is active duty Army and during one of our deployments our daughter and I went home to live with family, which meant that she and I would share a room. I didn't think it would be an issue, but it became one when she wouldn't fall asleep on her own any more. I asked the Pediatrician about it and he said the only way to get her to soothe herself was to let her cry it out. He told me to give it a week or so and if we were still having problems to come back in. It only took four nights. Each night there was progressively less crying and fewer problems and on the fourth night she went to sleep on her own with no tears. It was a horrible few days because she was so cranky from so much crying, but it did work and it helped me reestablish boundaries with her. Trust me, the crying stinks but it is worth it.

I am the same way with my 11 month old son :-) I just cannot let him cry...it takes a whole lot longer to wean than parents who do let them cry so patience is a virtue here.

The best thing I found that worked for us (every child is different) is I would pick him up everytime he cried. However, I would wait longer each time to go to him and when I did go to him, I would hold him less and less each time he was picked up...once he calmed down, I would put him back in his crib and WALK AWAY. I would wait as long as I could (one-three minutes) and go back and get him but only hold him for a little less than the time before...it gets him to realize that crying for mommy wont be all that worth it.

I hope I made sense...it is hard to write down what you are trying to say :-) It took about 2 weeks, but he got it and I felt better for not letting him cry to sleep. Now, he absolutely loves his crib and gets excited when I put him down. He will play for a bout 20 minuts and just lay down and fall asleep without my help! It is very important for them to self sooth (especially around this age) so put things in your daughters crib that comfort her (i.e. blanket, stuffed animal, play a cd).

Also, I highly recomend a white noise machine (or any other noise machine that fits your preference). Once we got that, I swear my son slept like an angel and we dont have to tiptoe around the house.

I hope this helps! Just be patient...she will get it eventually even though it may seem like forever :-)

It is not going to be easy!! She WILL cry. She will cry again when you move the play pen to her own room, so you might as well let one cry do and move her to her own room now. Since she is as old as she is, her lung capacity and endurance has grown so she will be able to keep up the crying for a long time, knowing that you will give in any minute. So the most important thing to do it determine ahead of time that you AND DAD are the parents, and that you know what is best for her and your family. This will help with your resolve-won't help her at all! Both of you have to make the decision and then stick to it. THen just do it. (Children are routine oriented. That is their security and you are breaking the routine.)

There are good monitoring systems is that would make you feel more comfortable with her across the house. She is old enough now to let you knows she's up!

Does she nap in her own room? If not, that might be a good way to start. That way it is just you and her, not daddy home when the crying takes place.

When #2 comes along, NEVER put her in bed with yall. For safety reasons if nothing else, you could very easily hurt a child in your bed unintentionally.

GOOD LUCK!!

Hi H.. I'm K.. I know how hard it is to listen to a child cry but if you can stick with it, it will be better in the long run. My suggestion is have a bedtime routine book, brush teeth, turn off lights, rock and sing two songs, hug and kisses, then leave the room and shut the door. Let her cry for 4 minutes go back, reassure her, hug and kisses and leave, each time you go back and leave add two minutes. The next night do the same thing. She will get the idea that mom and dad are serious that it is bedtime and at the same time get love and understanding. This is what worked for us, trying to help, good luck. I am a stay at home mom of four, it's tough but it will all payoff one day, at least thats what I'm told. haha

Well I think it is great that you have been co-sleeping! We have a nearly 1 year old and we aren't completely ready to ween him from our bed, however, we did buy a little futon matress to put on the floor next to our family futon mattress. He sleeps right next to me but on his own futon. I just roll over to nurse in the night. We will eventually pull his futon to the end of our bed and then further across the room and then eventually in his own room. I think this will be an easier adjustment and helps us all sleep a little better. Mom and Dad were just running out of space to feel comfortable! I hope this is helpful!

We had a "family bed" when our boys were younger. They naturally moved out on their own by 4-5 years. They're desire to sleep near their parents is more instinct than anything else - we protect them. So, unless there is an overwhelming reason she has to move out, I'd just relax and let her stay. But that's just me : )

I am married, 44 yrs old and have 3 boys - ages 12, 10 and 8.

Well you can try to put a small bed in the same room with you kind of close to your bed and tell her she is going to be a big girl and sleep alone but mommy is right close in the same room so if she needs you you can jump up and save her from nightmares. also try a night light and a reward if she can sleep alone in her bed for a whole week . This is how I taught my daughter. She didn't like it at first but started to feel more comfortable because it was a bed like mine and I was still right near her.