How Can I Calm down When My Child Is Crying?

M.,
Don't feel bad at all. As long as you have never hurt him and don't intend to, it's normal to experience this frustration. It's always better to put him in his crib and walk away rather than hold him when you know your temper might get the best of you. One thing that might help is if you have someone you can call and talk to to help put everything in perspective when he is crying. By the time you're off the phone, he might be asleep. I have talked on the phone with my sister before and realized that my son got quiet. This is of course only after you know everything has been done (diaper, feeding, no illness, etc.) and you know he is just crying to have some company. Have you ever slept with you son? We do that for the nights that our son wakes up.

Keep in mind that he'll only be this little once and all the sleeping troubles you both have will be a distant memory some day. My mom always reminded me that I shouldn't get worried about every little thing and just relax and enjoy (sometimes even laugh at) the situation no matter how hard it is. I also suggest you get out with other moms or friends since you're a SAHM.

I think you're doing what you can. I've done worst things like grab my kids arm and laid her down. I've yelled at her and I've screamed in front of her and in a pillow. We all feel guilty your not alone. The best thing is to walk away or take a step outside. Far enough away so you can't hear the crying. It stay heated unless I can't hear it. You could try and talk him down but you can only do that for so long before it's frustrating because the kids continues to cry etc. Diverting his attention may help but when they're wrapped up in the moment sometimes they just have to cry the ick out. Good luck.

M.,
First of all- you are obviously a GREAT, CARING Mama. That's why you want to make sure your son is safe, and you're doing the right things.
My daughter used to cry most the night- (she would never sleep.) There were times I would go into the bathroom, turn the shower on, and the fan and cry. I was so frustrated- I thought I was going to pull my hair out.
He's 9 months old- that means he's a little older and is able to go longer periods of time without you. I would let him have 'work it out' time of about 15-20 minutes after you comfort and soothe him. They have to learn to cry and comfort themselves, too. We're very used to coming to their every tear, or noise that they get used to that too- that's what makes us awesome moms. But as they get older, they need to learn to depend on themselves a bit more. I wouldn't go over 15-20 minutes without going into check on him, (some kids have been known to get SO upset they hold their breath or throw a giant tantrum.) He's still little enough that he doesn't quite understand. All he understands is mom used to come when he cried- right away, and now it takes her longer.

I started putting my daughter to bed between months 8-12 with a cd player of lullabys. It seemed to help lure her back to dreamland and I put it on repeat to keep her out all night. (After she was a year old- she wanted no music.) It's been a struggle.

I think it takes courage to come out and say what so many of us feel. We're- EXAUSTED. But by saying that you're tired and reaching out- I think that deserves major kudos.

You mentioned that your husband is a cop- and undeniably I'm sure he has a very stressful job and needs his sleep. However, he helped create this screaming bundle of cuteness, so he shold also be stepping in to give you an occasional break. Sometimes men think that when they work outside of the home, it's all up to the wife to raise and get up at night with the kids. And although I understand the stresses of outside employment, it's very hard staying home, too. Some husbands are better than others. :)

-Hang in there. Sometimes it's alright to go upstairs/downstairs- (away) from your son. Eat some ice cream- turn on music louder- watch part of a tv show. EVERYONE deserves a break. You couldn't be the best mommy without making sure you're being taken care of too.

-Good luck!

I get frustrated too when my 9 month old has been crying for an hour at 2:00 in the morning! 2 nights ago I had to put him down and go back to my room and slam my own door to vent the frustration, then I let my husband take over. We're lucky we have supportive husbands who can help out--I can't imagine what it would be like to raise a child all by myself!

Do not feel bad there were times when my son would not stop crying and i tried everything to get him to stop, it had me in tears at times, and i had to just walk away because of the frustration, it is not bad for kids to cry it out as longt as you are not neglecting him, it is better to walk away and calm down, than to do something that you do not want to do. some times it helped me to go outside and take good deep breathes till i could think straight again, or if possiable try to get your husband to take over for a while. Good luck

I've felt the same way at times. It's ok. If your son is driving you nuts put him somewhere safe a playpen, crib etc. and go into a another room, step outside the front door and take 5min. It's ok to let them cry. It's ok to walk away for 5min.

If it's his bedtime and he's tired you can put him in his crib and let him cry it out. Checking on him periodically. Or rock him or whatever get's him tired and right before he falls asleep place him in his crib.

It's good for them to learn how to self soothe and fall asleep on their own.

Once again it's ok for them to cry!